Keith sighed; he had been asked this question over the past week or so. Every day, he and Lance were to get checked over by Coran in regards to their issues. Keith hated it. Coran, who was joined by typically Allura or Shiro, would scan his body using the machine, scan Lance's using the same type of machine but a different controller, and would get whoever was with him to hold one while they were being processed. He always did this for Lance and Keith at the same time. Once Keith was able to support himself and walk again, he went back to training. It took two days for him to finally have enough strength to attend to personal care for himself. If Coran wasn't enough already, he also had Lance coming in and checking up on him. He found it annoying and cute at the same time. Keith would evade the question by asking how Lance had been doing. Keith lied to the group; his insomnia hadn't gotten better but he told them he was sleeping more. Coran hadn't told them what the results of the tests mean, mostly due to having to look up various human-brain related material with the help of Shiro. Altean and Human brains were similar but not exactly the same. Keith wondered if they knew he was lying about sleeping more, and were just hiding from him, planning their next move.

These times were good for one thing. Lance had to come too, no matter how much he protested. No one ever forced him physically, however Shiro had a way with words that made Lance agree to come and get scanned. Keith always made note about possible changes in Lance, both when the Cuban checked on him and during these meetings. He seemed to be physically okay. He was almost back to his old self personality-wise, but Keith suspected he was acting. Lance was hard on himself, Keith knew. He also knew that he was hard on Lance a lot, which didn't help. Lance was often the butt of jokes on the team. Everyone had made these jokes before, and now that everyone stopped due to what happened, it has made Keith realize just how much the group as a whole made jokes at Lance's expense. It made him sad.

Keith shrugged. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was looking at the floor with more interest than it deserved.

"I'm okay," he replied nonchalantly.

"Have you been sleeping?" Coran asked. "Notice anything weird?"

"You still on my ass," Keith said under his breath. Coran asked him to repeat that and speak louder, but Keith brushed him off. Seeing that he was not getting anything from Keith, Coran moved on. He asked Lance more questions; some about physical feelings, some emotional things, and about his sleeping patterns. Lance's eyes kept glancing over to Keith while answering.

The two boys had been actively avoiding each other since Keith was able to take care of himself. Well, Keith had been avoiding Lance more. There were some instances where Keith could not avoid Lance (again, when Lance checked in on Keith). Keith was so embarrassed with what Lance had to do for him, even though Lance had been in a similar situation before. It was different actually going through it rather than helping someone go through it. These check ups Coran had been doing (forcing) meant time alone with Lance. Where he could not simply wave him off. Keith was curious to how the other boy was healing, but he also liked his time alone..

Lance reported that everything was back to his usual, except for sleeping. Coran told Lance that he could try the cryopods. Lance glanced at Keith.

"As long as you make sure it doesn't give me too big of a dosage," Lance had a humor to his voice. Coran reassured him that they would give him an appropriate dosage. Lance immediately stopped smiling after seeing the expression on Keith's face.

"Well," Coran said cheerfully "unless you are not 100% human we should not have any issues."

"Are we done?" Keith grumbled.

"Almost, my boy!" Coran said. "I have to wait for Allura to come before I can-"

Allura entered, causing Coran to cut himself off.

"Excellent timing, princess!" Coran congratulated. Allura had a big container in her arms. She set it down on the table that was in the medical bay. Keith eyed it suspiciously.

"We got these shipped today." Allura started to explain, "Shiro said that we could use then to monitor brain activity. We want to make sure that we get a better scan of your brain. While your bodies seem to be doing well, our scanners are not used to humans and do not adapt well. With these devices, we can get better readings."

Shit, Keith thought. Shit shit shit shit shit….

"Wear them for a few days and nights. They can fit under your helmets and are lightweight enough that you will probably forget about them. Who wants to go first?"

"Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait," Lance quickly said "We don't get a choice?"

Coran and Allura looked at each other, exchanged expressions, and then looked back at the two Paladins.

"Not really. We want to make sure you are better and healing."

"You don't trust me?!" Lance exclaimed. "I'm fine! I am sleeping and eating. I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary." Lance's volume grew with each sentence. "I am a Paladin of Voltron! I don't have to wear that if I don't want to. You two have not power over me! I DON'T WANT TO WEAR THE HEAD PIECE!"

Lance was yelling now. "YOU TWO CAN'T FORCE ME TO DO ANYTHING!"

"Lance, please… It's just to be sure that your brain is healthy"

Lance huffed and stormed out of the room. Coran and Allura watched him go, statue still. Unsure. Lance was either hiding something, or felt overwhelmed with the amount of attention being given to him, Keith figured. The two Alteans looked to Keith after a moment, their question in their expressions. Keith sighed.

"Yeah, I'll try," Keith grumbled. He stalked out of the room and headed to Lance's room.

Lance was thankfully in his room when Keith got there. When Keith entered the room, he found Lance scrambling to find something amidst a mess. His room being the mess. There were clothes thrown everywhere, books, and blankets. The noise the door made must have alerted Lance of Keith presence because he immediately stopped his search. Keith and Lance stood staring at each other. Lance's expression hardened.

"I'm not-" his voice broke "-wearing that thing."

"Why." Keith stated. "I am, unfortunately, going to."

Lance was visibly shaking. Keith felt something in him, pushing him towards Lance, wanting to embrace him. He ignored it.

"Because…. Because…" Lance choked out. He suddenly collapsed to the ground, sobbing. Keith stood in place for a minute, unsure of what to do. He eventually sat adjacent to Lance.

"I'm sorry…" Lance rasped. He looked at Keith, who was already looking at Lance as if he were studying him. Assessing what to do.

"What for?" Keith asked.

"Yelling. Getting upset. I just… I've been lying about how I have been doing." Lance sniffed.

"And I.. didn't want to get caught or for them to look at me with disappointment."

"It is understandable that you are not feeling great. You went through something that most of the crew can't even fathom going through. I don't know what it is like to go through what you did, and I know I haven't been the most… open and welcoming. But Lance, I swear if you need someone to talk to, I am here." Keith was surprised that he just said that. "If we ever find who did that to you, just point and I will beat their ass."

Lance chuckled. It was a good sound, one that made Keith's heart swell. "Thank god."

Keith looked at him questioningly.

"Sorry Keith," Lance explained, a light air of joking that was signature to Lance "It's just that you were worrying me for a second. I'm not used to you being, well, nice."

Keith playfully and lightly punched him on the shoulder. He immediately apologized when Lance flinched, wiping the smile away from his face.

"I should have seen that coming," Lance said humorously.

"Is there anything you wanted to talk about?" Keith asked gruffly. Feelings and talking about them was new for Keith but for Lance, Keith would do anything. He wouldn't admit that. All the power might go to Lance's head, and Keith wasn't sure if they could come back from that.

"By talk, you mean you want me to explain what I meant by being a disappointment." Lance remarked.

"...If that's what you want to talk about." Keith replied.

Lance ran his hands through his big mop of hair on his head. He was still shaking.

"Do I have to?" he asked, pained.

"No. But I do think that we should go put the weird ass brain thing on." Keith was thinking out loud at this point. "They just have what's best for us in mind."

Lance's shaking became more intense.

"Is there anything you wanted to do after? We could go train?" Keith wasn't sure what Lance did to relax, but training was what he did. Lance looked hesitant to say something.

"Um, actually… there is something but, uh, well, a few things, but… it's totally okay if you are uncomfortable doing it and I know that we are not necessarily close-"

"Just spit it out," Keith interrupted. He felt bad immediately.

"Can you help motivate me to clean?" Lance gestured to his room. "I've been living in chaos for a while. I…" he took a deep breath "-had a really bad attack and threw everything around. Haven't been able to really face it since."

Keith told Lance he could do that. The other thing Lance wanted Keith to do was help him fall asleep. He explained that his mother would read him bedtime stories when he was younger and couldn't sleep. Since the assault, he hadn't been sleeping well. He was getting less sleep and he had nightmares. Keith said he could do that. One of the shit foster homes he was sent to had parents that were neglecting their children. Keith would take it upon him to read to them, since he was staying up anyway. He had to clean the rooms of his siblings. The tension left Lance almost completely after hearing Keith was cool with both activities.

"Coran and Allura are waiting for us. How about we go there, get the head things, come back and get started on the room?" Keith offered. Lance agreed. Keith helped Lance to his feet and they walked side-by-side to the medical bay.

Allura and Coran were, indeed, still there. Their worried and concerned expressions were replaced by relief when the two boys re-entered. Keith offered to go first so that Lance could see what the process was like.

"Lucky they don't have to shave off any of your infamous mullet," Lance commented halfway through the process. Coran had been deeply concentrating on putting the contraption on Keith's head correctly and turning it on. Keith chuckled. Lance was back to acting, but that didn't mean what he said wasn't funny. Keith swore as he was zapped accidentally by the device.

"Sorry!" Coran apologized.

"What the hell?" a voice came from the door. Shiro entered hastily, quickly analyzing Coran and Keith. "What are you doing?"

"Using these devices to track their brain activity!" Coran excitedly said.

Shiro locked eyes with Keith. "And you are okay with this?"

Keith's face faltered.

"Coran," Shiro turned his focus to Allura, "Princess… why didn't you consult with me?"

"We thought you would be pleased?" Allura was confused. "This is to help them get better. We can track them better."

"Did you ask or did you manipulate them into going along with it?" Shiro asked.

"Shiro, it's fine," Keith said. Shiro looked at each member in the room, ending on Keith.

"They diiiiid push us but… this might help," Lance said. Almost as if he was reassuring himself more than Shiro. Coran informed Keith he was finished. It was pretty light weight; five pods that stuck to his head. One on each temple, one on his forehead, one just under his hairline at the back of his neck, and one on top of his head. That one was attached due to the wires it shares with its brethren. Keith hopped off of the medical table and made space for Lance. He timidly hopped up. Shiro whispered to Keith how it felt and Keith told him the truth; he was aware of their presence but it was not having a negative effect on him. Keith kept his eyes trained on Lance to look for signs of being overwhelmed or in distress. Coran brushed Lance's hair out of his face. Lance flinched and whimpered, breaking Keith's heart. Lance clenched his hands.

"Now Lance, try to be as still as possible." Coran instructed. Coran brushed his fingers along Lance's face to move some hair again, causing Lance to flinch and jump off of the table. He stumbled, falling; Keith caught him. Lance yelped and violently pushed Keith away. Keith stumbled to the floor. When he was sitting back up, he looked at Lance. Lance was in the fetal position, hyperventilating.

"Lance!" Shiro called. Keith froze; he wasn't sure what to do. Touching him might make it worse. Shiro approached him quickly.

"Lance, focus on my voice," Shiro calmly and firmly said. Keith was vaguely aware of someone helping him to his feet; he was too focused on Lance.

"Lance, it's Shiro. You are on the Castle Ship. You are safe. Lance, you are on the ship and you are safe. You are safe." Shiro kept repeating. Over and over. Lance's breathing slowed down. He uncurled himself, sitting up in the process. He apologized shamefully, embarrassed. Coran apologized and Lance shakily got back up onto the table. Lance gestured for Keith to come over and Keith obliged. Lance's voice was small and barely audible; he asked if he could hold Keith's hand. Keith nodded, shocked. Lance gestured for Keith to sit up on the table next to him. Keith also did that. Lance squeezed his hand whenever Coran touched him. Shiro offered his hand too, giving Lance calm reassurances. Lance didn't flinch with his head, but Keith knew ever time Coran touched him or placed one of the pods on Lance's head because the Blue Paladin's hands would squeeze tight. Coran completed his placement and told them they could go. He asked Shiro to stay so that Allura and himself could learn about human brains. Not that Shiro was an expert or anything, but he had a better grasp on this than the Alteans.

Lance and Keith returned to Lance's room to start cleaning. Keith realized they were still holding hands because when Lance went to open the door, he did so with his dominant hand. The one Keith was holding. Both boys let go. Keith avoided the subject. He asked Lance where to start and what to do.

They started with the clothes that were everywhere. They sorted them into dirty and clean. Then Lance took the dirty laundry to wash while Keith folded up the clothes. He finished quickly, not touching any of Lance's underwear. Lance returned, folded up his underwear with a deep blush in his cheeks and ears, and told Keith to sort out the books. Lance, unlike Keith, preferred to read physical books. He had a huge collection from Earth and occasionally they would go to a Space Mall and happen across books in English. Even books in other languages could be read with a special pair of glasses Lance bought that could translate the book to your language as you're reading. By the time the books were all neatly put away, and the garbage was cleaned, it was time for supper.

They ate supper with the rest of the crew. A heavy silence hung over them. Keith and Lance were both the main focus of people's attention. Well, for everyone except Pidge. Pidge was eating with one hand, and the other held a tablet that they were reading off of. On the table sat a pod very similar to the ones Lance and Keith had on their heads. The two boys were sitting across from each other. Hunk next to Lance, Shiro next to Keith, Pidge and Coran on the other end with Princess Allura at the head of the table.

"Lance," Hunk said during the meal, breaking the silence. "Would you want to do some training later?"

"Sure. What were you thinking?" Lance asked. He seemed intrigued. Excited to talk about something other than his trauma or mental state.

"Shooting? I think I could use some tips."

Lance agreed. Keith mentally decided he would go for a space walk after supper, since Lance was occupied with training and Shiro was busy with brains.

"Since you two are doing that," Pidge said through a mouthful of food. They swallowed before continuing. "Keith, can I borrow you?"

"For what, exactly?" Keith deadpanned.

"I'm working on an extension to the apparatus you and Lance have on. I think I can adjust one of the monitors to be kind of like a mini cryopod. It could help not only us, but it could be a big step for mental health treatment on Earth! Assuming we go back…" Pidge trailed off sadly, brushing the thought away as they continued their work. Keith agreed to be the test dummy. They sat and ate their meals in silence, Allura and Coran finishing up and leaving straight away. Hunk and Lance left together, Shiro being the last. Shiro had recently been into reading. Keith knew Shiro was a fan of fantasy and sci-fi because they talked about books one night when he couldn't sleep. That day was when he had lied to Shiro, saying that he was just had a high amount of tension and not a lot of energy to release it. Shiro came over to Keith, giving him a firm and loving squeeze to the shoulder before heading off to teach the Alteans about humans. Shiro was also teaching Coran and Allura about general human anatomy and comparing it to Altean. Pidge finished their dish.

"Anyway, I have figured out how to control the healing essences used and to program it to recognize mental distress and abnormalities. I think this, paired with some therapeutic techniques, could lead to major improvements."

Oh god. Keith didn't want to be optimistic but Pidge was making it hard to think otherwise. It seemed so surreal, getting enough sleep. Keith had been an insomniac for so long that the concept of getting enough sleep was foreign. It was fantasy. He still felt vulnerable but he wouldn't admit it to the team.

"One thing I would like to, I guess, explore with you is the root cause of the insomnia. Or Coran or whoever you want to see. Coran said we could use the mind melt device."

No. Keith was not signing up for that.

"That wasn't part of the plan." Keith growled. He was scarily calm.

Pidge pointed out that Coran and Shiro already knew that he would have had to meld his mind with someone. Out of the two, Keith knew Shiro would be more pushy about his healing. Pidge told him the Keith got to pick out of the Paladins, as the activity was more about Keith discovering for himself than how it would help. Keith thought about it.

Hunk was out of the question because he would be too timid and that would cause Keith to have to spend more time doing the mind melt. Pidge would have a curiosity and be too loose lipped under the pressure of Coran and Shiro asking. Coran and Shiro would both be too… parental. Allura and Coran would probably be confused, if anything about Earth's culture came into play. So there was only one option left; Lance. Keith figured that Lance has seen Keith basically naked, a feat Keith would only grant to those who knew him well. Lance was too occupied with his own healing. He would get the information but be stubborn enough to keep it to himself. Stubborn, or empathetic. Keith would not be to blame, as his portion of the task would be complete.

"Lance," Keith told Pidge. Their expression of surprise was priceless.

"Lance?!" Pidge questioned. Keith nodded in confirmation.

"Once he's done with Hunk, fetch me. I'll be in the library." Keith said before stalking out.

"Hey Mullet," Keith heard a gentle voice say to him. A calming voice. Keith blinked a few times while opening his eyes, aware of someone lightly shaking him out of slumber.

"Keeeeeith. It's Lance. Wake up!"

Keith stretched and rubbed his eyes. Where was he? He must have made a facial expression because Lance seemed to have read his mind.

"Pidge found you in the library, dozing off on the window sill. They said you picked me to do the mind melt thingy with?"

Keith nodded.

"Well, I am honored to go through that thick mullet of yours and see if there is anything besides angst and hair in there."

Keith tried his best to annoyedly punch Lance in the arm but his groggy, sleep-deprived muscles did not want him to be coordinated. He ended up slumping off of the sill onto the ground. Lance quickly offered Keith help up, which Keith took. Lance seemed surprised at this for a moment but quickly brushed it off. Keith trudged after Lance as they went to find Coran. Keith listened to Lance attempting to explain what had been explained to him. Keith got a few things from what Lance said. Since it was the two of them, basically they could go wherever they wanted to do it. Coran will have to watch and monitor, but would not be able to see any of the memories. Lance told Keith he could pick a spot.

It didn't really hit Keith until they found Coran exactly what they were going to do. Was he really going to let Lance look at his memories? What if this is all for nothing and his insomnia is just due to biology? However, the pod was supposed to fix that. So if it did fix the biological component, then the psychological component was probably the cause. Even so, Keith didn't like the idea of Lance having access to his memories. In the other mind melts, he was just barely able to suppress the bad memories so the others wouldn't see. He didn't want the crew to worry about him. Or worse, treat him as if he was broken. A child. But now Lance only had Keith to focus on. He wanted to be close with Lance enough to tell the blue paladin all his darkest secrets. But he wanted that to come true from dating, not because they were both experiencing mental anguish. Keith thought about how much he had been hiding from the other paladins. About why he was averse to touch. Why he preferred to keep a wall up. Why he had so little possessions.

"Keith?!" Someone exclaimed. Lance. It was Lance's voice. And a warm hand, firm yet gentle on his shoulder. When Keith opened his eyes, he found himself sitting on the floor, in the fetal position, with Lance kneeling in front of him and a hand on his shoulder. Lance registered that Keith was now looking at him.

"Keith, you scared me," Lance sighed. Keith's breathing slowed down. He was hyperventilating? Lance dropped the hand from Keith's shoulder. "Your breathing is better. Is it because of the mind melt?"

Keith shook his head, averting his gaze.

"Ok. Whenever you're ready, we can continue."

Keith abruptly stood up. Coran approached them. He had witnessed Keith's anxiety attack too.

"Is there any place in particular you want to do this?" Coran asked. Keith shrugged. Lance suggested somewhere private, that way no one could interrupt unless they needed to. He offered up him room and Keith agreed by heading there without a word.

Lance grabbed a comfy bench from a nearby room. He gestured to his bed in a way that suggested it was Keith's spot.

"Dude, that's YOUR bed," Keith said.

"Yeah, and I am offering it to you since your mental discomfort may be worse than mine."

Keith reluctantly sat on the bed. Lance sat on the bench. Coran hooked Lance up to the head device that performed the mind melt, making sure it was comfortable on the Blue Paladin. Since the two boys had the other brain-monitoring devices, it took Coran a little longer to figure out how to make it so the devices could co-exist.

After its application, Lance laid down on the bench. The bench supported Lance from his head all the way to his knees, which left his feet and lower-legs to dangle. Keith took this moment to admire Lance. His lean muscles. His soft hair that Keith wanted to brush his fingers through. Lance's beautiful eyes, in which he was deprived of because Lance's eyes were closed. Keith really wanted to kiss those lips, feel their softness against his lips, and down his neck, and down his torso, and around his-

"Comfy?" Coran asked, yanking Keith from his thoughts. Coran had to put Keith's hair in a ponytail in order to get the device on his head. Keith wiggled his head around; the device was firmly there. It wasn't comfy but it also was not necessarily UNcomfortable. Keith nodded.

"When it is just two people, it's best to actually have physical contact." Coran stated. Lance and Keith exchanged looks; Keith of embarrassment, and Lance of surprise. Lance and Keith locked eyes.

"Is that okay Keith?" Lance asked.

"Why," Keith asked through gritted teeth "must we touch?"

"With 5 people doing this, it is easier to break down people's walls and trust. When there's only two, the touch helps bring the physical and mental together."

"How much?" Keith was shaking slightly. He was surprised Lance was cool, or at least he seemed fine with it.

"Maybe you both could lay on the bed? At the very least, hold hands between your current positions. Again, it helps to have contact but you don't need it."

"Well I have some thick walls," Keith said, glaring daggers at Lance. Hopefully he gets how much trust he is giving Lance. No matter how strategic his choice in mind melt partner was. "So touch would probably help."

"And you are okay with it?" Lance asked.

"I wouldn't go that far. I don't have many options here."

Lance got up and sat next to Keith on the bed. Coran double-checked the devices as Keith and Lance figured out how to position themselves. According to Coran, due to how deep into Keith's mind Lance might be going, they would be unconscious and unaware of where they really were. Meaning they would have to lay down. Lance asked if skin to skin contact mattered and Coran told them as long as some skin touched, they would be good. Lance asked Keith what position would be best.

"You're the one who was assaulted. Shouldn't you pick with what you are comfortable?!" Keith retorted. Lance was being soft and selfless with Keith. Seeing him like this was for some reason scary. No one had ever been like this with Keith. He wasn't used to have open-ended choices. He immediately regretted the words when a look of hurt flickered on Lance's face, as if he had just been shot. Keith averted his eyes and crossed his arms.

"Sorry. That was harsh." Keith muttered loud enough to hear. He took a deep breath.

"Is the, uh, position from… that night you helped me…. Okay?"

Lance was basically asking about spooning. Keith nodded. "If it is okay with you."

Lance placed himself near the wall of the bed, awaiting Keith to join him. Coran programmed his tablet to set up the mind melt. He told the two boys that he would be there the entire time. Shiro would be joining later in case they need to split up or need extra help. Keith lowered himself into Lance. Lance could feel how tense Keith was. Keith flinched when Lance wrapped an arm around him, squeaking slightly. He was hyper aware of the touch.

Normally he would revel in the thought of being touched by Lance. And when he and Lance had helped each other, Keith was comfortable then because his touch-aversion was counter-acted with the need to help Lance. Now? He was highly uncomfortable.

"Keith," Coran said "you need to relax. Your body and your mind."

Lance whispered into Keith's ear, the warm breath on his ear sending chills down his spine.

"Is it okay if I help?" Lance asked. Keith swallowed hard.

"How?"

"You're very tense, which is valid, but you need to relax."

Why was this so goddamn hard for Keith? He just needed to relax. Why couldn't he do that?

"Well, I have, well, experience with helping others relax."

Coran explained that if Lance were to help, he would leave the room and come back once they were ready. Coran left, saying he was going to update Shiro about the situation. Lance asked if he could hold Keith's hand and Keith agreed. Lance rubbed his thumb on top of the hand in circles, going hard and then light. When Lance was done, he moved up to Keith's wrist, repeating the motion. Lance asked to go into Keith's shoulders and Keith nodded. He was soon putty in Lance's hands. Lance massaged his shoulders, his upper back. Keith let out a few moans as tension was released, blushing profusely after. Lance asked if he could get into Keith's hips but Keith sputtered out a 'no'. Lance continued with his back, relieved as he felt Keith relaxing.

Either Coran turned Keith's device on, or Keith was so relaxed he fell asleep. Lance examined the device; it was not on.

"Coran?" Lance called through his communicator. He answered. "Keith is relaxed now. He fell asleep. Does he need to be awake when the device is turned on?"

"Should still work. He is expecting you to be prodding there. If we had done this without his consent while he slept, the device wouldn't work."

Lance was soon dozing off, his crush in arms.