"Hey, Michelle, guess what?!" Samantha shouted. The sound of her voice caught Michelle's attention. She ran down the stairs as quickly and carefully as she could.
"What?" she asked.
"I have something you might be interested in," Samantha answered. She opened her hand to reveal a necklace with a shiny purple crystal hanging from its center. Michelle's eyes opened wide upon sight of it.
"Wow!" Michelle reached out to touch it, but Samantha closed her fist and jerked her arm away.
"Uh-uh, it's not for free." Samantha wagged her index finger with a smirk.
"Why not?"
"Because this purple crystal is super rare. Don't believe me? Feel free to touch it." Samantha opened her fist and allowed Michelle to grab the crystal and rub it between her fingers.
"Doesn't feel anything like plastic to me." Michelle deduced from the coarse textures of the crystal. "Where did you get this from?"
"From a faraway planet," Samantha said with a large smile.
"What's the price?"
"$50, and it's all yours."
"Uh...I don't have that much money." Michelle turned her shorts pockets inside out.
"Don't worry, just pay me after our time here is over."
"And just how far away is this planet of yours?" Grandmum barged in on her attempt to make a sale.
"Uh..." Samantha hesitated to give an answer.
"If you're standing right on it, you shouldn't charge that much for that little trinket of yours," Grandmum told her.
"But-" Samantha tried to speak up.
"Remember what the Good Book says, 'Wealth obtained by fraud will dwindle, but whoever earns it through labor will multiply it'," Grandmum quoted.
"I think that means...uh..." Samantha pondered for a second or two, "I give up, what does that mean?"
"Glad you asked, poppet. It means that whatever money you obtained through dishonest means, such as peddling bogus cures on the street or selling something for much more than it is actually worth, will slip right through your fingers one way or another. On the other hand, money you have earned by doing honest hard work, like raking up the leaves in the autumn or washing the dishes, will slowly accumulate if you save it up," Grandmum explained.
"But I won't make a lot of money if I do any of that," Samantha protested.
"All the better to save it more often, crumpet," Grandmum said with a smile. The telephone chose this moment in time to ring.
"I'll get it!" Grandmum called out as she made her way to answer the phone. Samantha turned to face Michelle.
"So...is your necklace still for sale?" Michelle asked.
"I...still have to think about that," Samantha answered. She tossed the necklace aside. It collided with the Rockhopper model, and the ship began to hover a few inches above Michelle and Samantha. The lid of the model opened up to reveal Captain Zidgel standing with his chest protruding outwards.
"Michelle and Samantha Conrad, we need your help!" he announced.
"But what about Jason? Isn't he coming with us?" Michelle asked.
"Nope." He shook his head. That answer caught Jason's attention, who was playing a video game. He turned to Zidgel and put his video game controller down.
"Why am I not coming?" he asked.
"Because not every mission requires the help of all three of you," Zidgel replied.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Remember when we only brought one of you at a time for certain missions?" Zidgel asked, "Think of this time as a mission that only needs two of you instead of just one." Jason was about to respond when Zidgel spoke up yet again.
"Not to worry, Jason," he reassured him, "there will be other opportunities for you." Jason resumed his video game playing after he had heard what Zidgel told him. Fidgel pulled out the galeezel and fired it at Samantha. The galeezel pulled her into the Rockhopper. He repeated the procedure with Michelle. Samantha deactivated her human guise the instant she was brought aboard. Midgel began to steer the ship up the chimney and into the vast space of the cosmos.
"Captain's blog, stardate insert-random-numbers here, we are taking Michelle and Samantha with us on a penguinitarian mission to help the unfortunate citizens of the 29th Federation colony who are recovering from a devastating disaster that had just ravaged the hard work of their ancestors," Zidgel verbally filed his latest captain's blog.
"How are we going to help these people?" Samantha asked.
"We'll stop at a space station to pick up the supplies that we'll deliver to the colony," Oceranne filled in, "We'll then travel to the colony, drop off the supplies, and maybe even volunteer in the rebuilding process."
"And what was this disaster?" Michelle piped in.
"We ...weren't given exact information on that," Zidgel answered, "Probably had something to do with some sort of hurricane, the transmission was pretty damaged."
Oceranne turned a knob at her station. She listened in on whatever was entering her ear. She stopped turning the knob when the white noise turned into something comprehensible.
"Captain, someone's hailing us," she said.
"Put them on screen, Lieutenant," Zidgel ordered.
"I can't, sir, it's audio, only," Oceranne responded.
"Well, give us all something to look at, so we won't be bored."
Oceranne rolled her eyes and pushed a yellow button. A picture of her wearing sunglasses, holding a drink in her right hand, and surrounded by lizards with their arms stretched out to her, as if they were performing a ritual of worship, appeared on the viewscreen. Close to the middle, there was a caption that read, "What? I just sang The Arms of the Emperor in its original Desaro."
"Lasdran to Federation ship, I am in dire need of assistance," a male voice broke through the radio static.
"What kind of assistance?" Zidgel asked.
"Allow my ship to dock with yours in order for me to come aboard, and I'll explain further," the voice answered.
"Well then, welcome aboard," Zidgel responded. He turned to Oceranne and swept his right hand horizontally to the right. Oceranne took the hint and pushed a dark brown button to cut the transmission.
"Captain, are you sure we should allow him to come aboard?" Midgel asked.
"Of course we should! It's not like he'll knock us all unconscious and steal the Rockhopper or anything like that!"
"Are you speaking from experience, Captain?" Oceranne tilted her head to the right.
"What? No! No, I'm not! Why would you think that?" Zidgel responded.
"Whatever you say, Captain." Oceranne raised her hands up in defense.
"Lasdran, Midgel, prepare ships for docking!" Zidgel gave his order.
"Aye, Captain!" Lasdran and Midgel both responded.
The door leading to where the ships docked together opened up. From it, a Galápagos penguin sporting a low hanging ponytail, a blue coat over a teal shirt, and khaki trousers entered. With him, he brought a small blue rolling suitcase.
"My, my, this is quite a ship you have here," Lasdran whistled, "Its slightly compacted exterior and small yet comfortable interior complement each other quite excellently. Fiordland-class ship, I presume?" The Rockhopper crew looked at each other, expecting at least one of them to give an answer.
"Rockhopper-class, actually," Midgel spoke up.
"Of course! I did notice that this ship's interior is slightly larger than is expected for these kinds of ships," Lasdran replied.
"You did come here for more than just telling us all how awesome you find my ship, right?" Zidgel asked.
"Although I do find your ship to be an excellent example of engineering, my good captain, there is a little something that I require your help to accomplish," Lasdran answered.
"Ah, your words are music to these ears." Zidgel smiled. Oceranne cleared her throat. "Ahem, what can we help you with?"
"Well, you can start with browsing through my various wares." Lasdran opened up his coat to display all the various knick-knacks he had on him.
"This is the dire assistance you needed from us?" Zidgel asked.
"Well…" Lasdran said, "I might have been embellishing a little when I said I was in dire need of assistance."
"If needing to sell something was a dire emergency," Zidgel said, "nearly every single shop I bought my hair care products from would have non-stop dire emergencies."
"Oh, good one, Captain." Lasdran laughed. None of the other Rockhopper crew members joined in on the laughter.
"Ahem." Lasdran cleared his throat, "What might you be interested in, Captain?"
"Hmm..." Zidgel browsed through Lasdran's wares in his coat, "speaking of hair care products, I did notice I was running low on my favorite feather fluffing conditioner."
"Conditioner, you say?" Lasdran said, "I believe I may have just the product for you!" He dug around in his coat and pulled out a bottle of conditioner with a picture of a satisfied penguin with their head feathers fluffed up.
"How much, Lasdran, how much?" Zidgel's eyes lit up upon seeing the bottle of conditioner.
"It can be yours for the small, small price of-" Lasdran paused for dramatic effect, "160 Federation debits."
"160 Federation debits? Isn't that a little-?"
"A little less expensive than its usual price?"
"Well…" Zidgel said.
"It's got oils extracted from lavender that's been seeped in Matan hot spring water for eight years!" Lasdran said in a sing-song voice.
"You've got yourself a deal!" Zidgel said. He transferred the funds to Lasdran, who handed the bottle of conditioner to him.
"And how about you, whatever your rank is? Might I interest you in some of my personal wares?" Lasdran asked Midgel.
"First Officer, but I also accept either 'Pilot' or 'Engineer', and no thanks."
"Very well then," Lasdran said, "A disappointment really, since I'm sure someone will want this coveted collector's edition figurine of a certain popular time traveling hero."
"Wait, why didn't you say so?" Midgel asked.
"It can be all yours for a mere 5,000 Federation debits."
"Deal!" Midgel transferred his debits to Lasdran.
"Now, who here is in dire need of some state-of-the-art glow-in-the-dark stalagmites?"
Long after Lasdran make his departure from the Rockhopper, it continued on its destination to that space station.
"That Lasdran's a nice fella," Zidgel said, "selling me that high quality conditioner to make my hair extra fluffy."
"I think this is the first time I've seen Aleera smile," Fidgel added, "I guess glow-in-the-dark stalagmites are enough to warm that dry ice block she has for a heart."
"And if she were within earshot, that dry ice block would've frozen right back up," Oceranne said, "Luckily, I've got my heated salt lamp to get it melting again."
"Is that salt lamp edible, Oceranne?" Kevin asked.
"Sorry, Kevin, it's not," Oceranne answered, "how are you enjoying your little portable logic puzzle?"
"Fun," Kevin replied, "A little hard, but fun."
"Well, girls, how do you like what I bought for you?" Fidgel asked.
"I love it! Thanks, Fidgel!" Michelle twirled around in a frilly pink lei.
"Yeah, thanks!" Samantha said, "I never had a real Earth paddleball before!"
Zidgel turned in his captain's chair and pressed a button on its left arm.
"Captain's blog, supplemental," he said, "a friendly salesman by the name of Lasdran stopped by and sold us some expensive souvenirs. Although his prices were higher than the typical expensive souvenir, my crew and I are too satisfied with what we bought to complain about it! A self-reminder to thank that salesman the next time we run into him."
"If I find that spineless salesman again, I am going to stab his eyeballs out with these stupid staining fade-in-the-dark stalactites!" Aleera stormed into the Rockhopper's bridge, shaking the products she bought from Lasdran in her hands.
"As opposed to stupid staining fade-in-the-dark stalagmites?" Midgel asked.
"He ripped me off is what he did!" Aleera yelled, "I can't believe I paid 200 Federation debits for something I could've bought for 99% cheaper at those cheap gas station stores!"
"I'm surprised it's not our captain who's complaining to me," Midgel said. Right when he said that, Zidgel stormed into the bridge, his pompadour a clumpy mess.
"Midgel! Set a course for that scamming salesman's shootable ship!" he ordered.
"What's wrong, Captain? Was the lavender seeped for seven years, not eight?" Midgel asked.
"Easy for you to say! You didn't just waste 200 Federation debits on something that does nothing but mess up your hair!" Zidgel snapped back, "…well? What are you waiting for?!"
"First off, Captain, I have no idea where Lasdran's heading, and second, even if I did know where he's gone, what are you going to do when you confront him?"
"Demand a refund!"
"Good luck with that. Something tells me that Lasdran's not the kind of person who'd be willing to give out refunds."
"He'd better be!" Samantha stormed into the bridge, "my paddleball's already broken!" She threw the paddle and the ball onto the ground.
"I don't think throwing it on the ground's gonna put it back together." Midgel adjusted his pilot's mirror to face Samantha.
"Do all Earth paddleballs break after only being used once?!"
"Listen, I know you three are upset," Midgel said, "but our main mission isn't to confront someone who sold you products you aren't satisfied with."
"It is now!" Zidgel responded, "Midgel, find that con artist's ship immediately!"
"Captain, what do you think Admiral Strap would say if we reported that we changed course from helping a Federation colony to chasing some guy whose only crime is overcharging on a faulty product?" Midgel asked.
"Ugh, fine. I don't want him grounding my ship…again," Zidgel said, "Continue on to Matan Space Station."
The Rockhopper approached a space station orbiting a planet with rings surrounding it.
"Coming up on Matan Space Station, prepare for docking!" Midgel announced. The rest of the Rockhopper crew buckled up at their respective stations, Fidgel, Michelle, and Samantha in their green inflatable seats, Oceranne wrapped the seat belt around her and her station.
As the Rockhopper came closer and closer to the space station, a fat female lizard looked out a window. Her eyes widened a little when she saw the Rockhopper.
"Captain, is the ship approaching the station the ship that I think it is?" she asked.
"If you think that ship is the Rockhopper, then it is the ship that you think it is," the space station's captain answered, "Sound the alarm and begin all preparations and precautions."
"Right away." The lizard pressed a red button and pulled a portable speaker closer to her. "The Rockhopper is preparing to dock. This is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill. Evacuate all nonessential personnel from the vicinity of Docking Station 13."
As the alarm blared off throughout the space station, many of its crew members got to work preparing for Midgel. Some of them led the civilians as far away from the surrounding areas of Docking Station 13. Others modified the space station's shields so that the docking station and its surroundings could withstand a crash better.
Midgel pressed a button that activated pillows to cover the entire front of the Rockhopper except for where the exit was. He slowed the Rockhopper down to a complete stop as he approached the docking station. The Rockhopper came to a complete stop by crashing into the docking station. The ship got through the docking mostly undamaged. The same couldn't be said for the docking station.
"That was much better than last time you docked the Rockhopper!" Zidgel said, "Let's hope Matan Space Station's captain doesn't take a page out of Spheniscid Space Station's captain and punch you."
The Rockhopper crew split into three teams aboard Matan Space Station. The first team, consisting of Zidgel, Aleera, and Samantha headed off to the trading hub. The second team, consisting of Midgel, Michelle, and Kevin, made their way to where the building materials were being stored. And the third team, consisting of Fidgel and Oceranne, walked to the food center.
"I don't get it," Oceranne said, "why are Zidgel, Aleera, and Samantha the only ones who are angry with what they bought?"
"Well, technically, I paid for what Michelle and Samantha wanted," Fidgel answered, "but to answer your question, perhaps the rest of us did pay for what we bought, and those three were the unfortunate ones who had to pay high prices for low quality products."
"I'm not so sure," Oceranne replied, "maybe I should examine my new heated salt lamp more closely."
"I don't get it, Midgel," Michelle said, "if Lasdran's really the con artist my cousin, the captain, and the doctor-not Fidgel-say he is, why aren't we complaining about what Lasdran sold us?"
"I don't know," Midgel answered as he browsed through the various building materials, "Maybe because we're the lucky blokes who didn't pay high prices for products that'll fall apart after being used only once."
"I guess," Michelle replied, "I just hope my new lei doesn't break."
"My logic puzzles are starting to get a little easier," Kevin added.
"Is that good or bad?" Michelle asked.
"Bad." Kevin frowned.
Zidgel, Aleera, and Samantha looked around the trading hub of Matan Space Station.
"Hmm, I think I can trade away some of my unused test tubes for those sets of clothes," Aleera said to herself.
"Come on, come on, who here looks like they'd want a bottle of conditioner that does nothing but mess up hairstyles," Zidgel said to himself.
Aleera was about to approach the stall with the set of clothes when Samantha pulled at her arm.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Look who's at the stall!" Samantha pointed toward a stall that looked like it was set up recently. At that stall was Lasdran, peddling his products to anybody who so much as looked in the vicinity of his stall.
"You!" Aleera stomped toward Lasdran. Lasdran hastily put his wares back in his stall.
"Excuse me, but it appears I have a potential angry customer to deal with," Lasdran told one of his customers. He turned to face Aleera. "Hello, doctor, how may I help you?"
"Don't you act all polite with me, Lasdran!" Aleera yelled, "Not after you ripped me off!"
"My good doctor," Lasdran said, "since when have I ever ripped anyone off?"
"When my paddleball broke!" Samantha showed her paddle and her ball to Lasdran.
"Young lady, what right have you to complain?" Lasdran asked, "it was that science officer who bought that paddleball, not you."
"Lasdran!" Zidgel shouted as he stomped over to Lasdran's stall, "where's my refund?!"
"Captain!" Lasdran said, "this isn't about that conditioner, is it? If it is, I'm afraid I misspoke last time. It turns out, that lavender was seeped for seven years, not eight."
"I don't care if it was seeped for seven centuries!" Zidgel shook his conditioner bottle at Lasdran. "it ruined my do!"
"Your pompadour's looking fine to me."
"That's only because I spent six hours trying to fix it!"
"I'm sorry to hear that, Captain, but I'm afraid I can't provide any refunds for you or those doctors."
"I don't believe you!"
"Believe me, if I could provide a refund, I would. But as of now, I don't have enough money on hand." Lasdran showed Zidgel a tablet that displayed the amount of money he had. "But I can provide a suitable replacement for your products."
"How do I know my do won't get ruined any further by this replacement conditioner?!"
"If my word isn't enough for you, I will provide a full refund for the three of you if you end up unsatisfied with these replacements."
"You'd better if that's the case," Zidgel said. Lasdran dug around at his stall and grabbed another bottle of conditioner, some glow-in-the-dark stalagmites, and a paddleball. He handed them to Zidgel, Aleera, and Samantha.
"Will this paddleball break?" Samantha asked.
"If it does, a full refund will be provided," Lasdran answered.
Zidgel, Aleera, and Samantha continued to browse through the trading hub, and Lasdran continued his peddling to the space station's inhabitants.
"If you buy from me, not only will you be 100% satisfied with whatever you get, but you will also be supporting the rebuilding of the 29th Federation colony," he said. Zidgel stopped and head back to Lasdran's stall.
"What do you mean by that?" he asked.
"What I mean by what I said, my good Captain, is that whoever buys from me will be supporting me distributing anything that the 29th Federation colony needs to rebuild," Lasdran answered, "and before you ask, I am not making any of the colonists pay exuberant prices for products that'll fall apart after only one use."
"I'll be the judge of that," Zidgel said.
"Really, Captain, you don't have anything better to do than scrutinize salesmen who are only trying to make an honest living?" Lasdran asked.
"As of this moment, I'm on a mission to help the 29th Federation colony," Zidgel answered, "But once I'm through with that, I'll get my eye on you."
The Rockhopper departed from the space station, loaded with all the supplies it needed, and continued on its course to the 29th Federation colony.
"So, Captain, did you get your refund?" Midgel asked.
"Nope," Zidgel answered, "But I did get a new bottle of conditioner."
"Let me guess, this conditioner caused your do to fall off."
"I…haven't used it yet, so I don't know. But if it does, I'll get that refund one way or another!"
"Need I remind you of our actual mission, Captain?"
"About that…" Zidgel said, "good news for us! It turns out that Lasdran's heading off to the same planet we are!"
"Wait, why is he going there?" Oceranne asked.
"Something about selling his stuff to the colonists there," Zidgel answered.
"Captain, something tells me that Lasdran is exploiting the aftermath of the disaster for monetary gain," Oceranne said.
"That doesn't sound good, Lieutenant, whatever that means."
"She's saying that Lasdran is using the destruction to make money for himself," Fidgel explained.
"Right," Zidgel said, "if that is what you said, Lieutenant, then you're preaching to the choir."
"Then you agree that everything that we bought from Lasdran should be inspected more closely?" Oceranne asked.
"Sure, why not?" Zidgel answered.
"Captain, permission to join Oceranne in her little investigation?" Fidgel asked.
"Granted," Zidgel answered, "Everyone, hand everything that you bought from Lasdran over to Fidgel and Oceranne! We've got a potential con artist to catch!"
In a dimly light room, Oceranne held up Midgel's collector's edition figurine. She spun the figurine around in her hand.
"Have you found anything, Lieutenant?" Fidgel asked.
"Nothing out of the ordinary," Oceranne answered, "wait a minute…Doctor, do we have any paint remover?"
"Right here." Fidgel handed the paint remover to Oceranne. She poured a few drops onto the base of the figurine where the serial number was printed. She used a piece of tissue paper to wipe away the paint on the serial number. The paint remover revealed a different serial number.
"Aha!" Oceranne exclaimed.
"What did you find?" Fidgel asked.
"This!" Oceranne showed the figurine's real serial number to Fidgel.
"…What am I supposed to be looking at?"
"The serial number!"
"What about it?"
"At first, I couldn't find anything suspect, but when I noticed that there seemed to be another serial number printed under it, I knew something was up. So I wiped away the paint, revealing the figurine's real serial number!"
"Which means…"
"Which means this figurine isn't a collector's edition! It's a cheap knockoff that could be bought for five hundred times cheaper!"
"Oh, goodness!" Fidgel exclaimed, "Midgel isn't going to like hearing about this."
"Hand me Samantha's paddleball," Oceranne said, "I believe I've got some more paint to wipe off."
"Well, Doctor, Lieutenant, any updates on all the stuff we bought from Lasdran?" Zidgel sat at an elliptical table.
"Plenty!" Oceranne answered as she placed all of the objects on the table, "And none of you are going to like what I'm going to say."
"Out with it, then," Zidgel said.
"Michelle, Aleera, please tell you didn't touch that lei and those glow-in-the-dark stalagmites," Fidgel said.
"Is that why I've got this infernal rash on my hands?!" Aleera scratched her hands.
"Wait, that lei made my neck all itchy?" Michelle asked as she scratched her neck.
"Yes to both questions, Michelle and Doctor," Oceranne answered, "Fortunately, neither the glow-in-the-dark liquid nor the lei flowers are deadly enough to kill either of you. The same can't be said for the paint covering Samantha's paddleball."
"Oh no! Am I going to die, Lieutenant?!" Samantha exclaimed.
"Don't worry, Samantha," Fidgel answered, "the mercery paint's only poisonous if you consume it."
"Mercury?!"
"That's not all," Oceranne added, "It turns out that this paddleball was made on Mata, not Earth."
"Great!" Samantha said, "now I'm one real Earth paddleball short no thanks to Lasdran!"
"Anything else we need to know?" Zidgel asked, "Specifically about my conditioner?"
"I examined its ingredients closely," Fidgel answered, "and it turns out, this conditioner would cause your do to fall off if you used it."
"Of all the-!" Zidgel exclaimed.
"Please tell me we're going to confront that spineless salesman, Captain!" Aleera said.
"Oh, we are!" Zidgel replied, "I don't care if Admiral Strap grounds my ship for a hundred years!" He grabbed his communicator and yelled into it. "Midgel! You won't have to change course since Lasdran's heading off to the same place we are! All you have to do is land in the same place that spineless salesman is at!"
"Captain, have you forgotten about our main mission?" Midgel replied.
"That can wait! We have to stop someone selling dangerous products!" Zidgel said.
"What could Lasdran be selling that's so dangerous?"
"Would you change your mind if I told you your little collector's edition figurine is a fake?"
"That little—I'm right on it, Captain!"
At his stall, Lasdran peddled his products to any colonist who so much as looked in his direction.
"And these building materials are priced slightly high than usual because whatever you build with these will last longer," he said, "And all this food has to be expensive because just one bite of it will satisfy your hunger for days."
"Hmm, it seems to me that you're just exploiting the aftermath of the flood to make a quick buck," one of the colonists said.
"Oh, nonsense," Lasdran replied, "if I wanted to do that, I would charge hundreds, if not thousands, of Federation debits for my products."
"Well…" the colonist said, "I guess it wouldn't hurt to buy whatever you've got." They were about to transfer their Federation debits to Lasdran when Zidgel yelled out and stomped off to Lasdran's stall.
"Lasdran! You'd better not be poisoning those colonists!"
"Captain, whatever gave you that idea?" Lasdran asked.
"When you sold us that mercury paint coated paddleball that wasn't even made on Earth to begin with!" Samantha yelled.
"Mercury paint? Why would I ever sell anything covered with mercury paint?"
"You tell us!" Zidgel exclaimed.
"Lasdran! Explain to me why you sold me this knock-off to me for 5,000 Federation debits when it's not even worth 5!" Midgel shouted.
"What was those stupid staining fade-in-the-dark stalactites?!"
"How poisonous were those lei flowers?!"
"How did my salt lamp get set on fire?!"
"Did you plagiarize those logic puzzles?"
"Is it true that you're trying to poison us?"
"Everyone! Everyone! Please! I can explain!" Lasdran held his hands up in defense.
"What's there to explain?! Isn't it obvious that you're trying to scam everyone here?!" Zidgel exclaimed.
"Of course not!" Lasdran replied, "I'm just trying to make an honest living! And if you're asking about your refunds, I cannot provide them! I don't have any money on me!"
"Well, where is it, then?!" Zidgel asked.
"I invested most of my earnings!" Lasdran answered. One of the colonists saw Lasdran's tablet, picked it up, and took a look at it.
"Hey, where did you get all of this money?" they asked. The instant they said that, Lasdran's face started to turn pale. Or at least, it would've turn pale if not for the black and white feathers covering his face.
"Uh…uh…" Lasdran gulped. "Hey, is that David Bowie?!" He pointed off to a distance. The Rockhopper crew and the colonists looked in that direction, but when they saw no glittered androgenous British rock star, they turned back to see that Lasdran was gone from his stall.
"Where did he go?" Zidgel asked.
"There he is!" Another colonist pointed to where Lasdran was running off. "Get him!" The Rockhopper crew and some of the colonists gave chase to Lasdran. Lasdran attempted to get away from his angry customers by running through one of the damaged buildings and hiding behind one of its walls. The Rockhopper crew and the colonists ran past the damaged building.
"Whew! That was a close one," Lasdran said to himself, "I thought I was done for." He stepped away from the wall, accidentally kicking some pebbles in the process. This sound alerted the Rockhopper crew and the colonists to his location.
"Uh-oh, spoke too soon," Lasdran said as he made a run for it. He ran until he turned right into an alleyway. He continued running until he came across a wall.
"Ugh! Why do these alleyways always have dead ends?!" he said to himself. He backed himself up against the wall and faced everyone who was chasing him.
"Game over, Lasdran!" Zidgel yelled, "You have nowhere to run!"
"Alright, I give up! You got me!" Lasdran dropped down to his knees and sobbed. "You can have your full refunds! Just please don't beat me up!"
"Wait, what made you think we were going to beat you up?" Zidgel asked.
"When you started chasing me?" Lasdran sniffled.
"We are only chasing you because you ran away," Midgel spoke up.
"Which you chose to do rather than face up to the consequences of your actions," Fidgel added.
"Oh! I'm ruined! Ruined!" Lasdran continued to sob.
"You're only ruined because 'Wealth obtained by fraud will dwindle'," Samantha told him.
"But whoever earns it through labor will multiply it," Michelle finished Samantha's sentence.
"Which means…" Lasdran said.
"It means that doing things like selling me a fake Earth paddleball will only make the money you made drain away," Samantha said.
"But if you work honestly for that money, you'll slowly get richer," Michelle added.
"How fortunate I am to live in place where me getting rich through hard work is an actual possibility as opposed to just being propaganda peddled by people who are insufferably wealthy and never had to work a single day in their entire lives." Lasdran said.
"What?" Michelle asked.
"It'll take too long to explain to someone your age," Lasdran replied, "Oh, Captain, I am ready for my inevitable imprisonment!"
"Uh, just a minute, Lasdran," Zidgel said. He turned to his crew, "I think it's time we called for a huddle." He and the rest of the Rockhopper crew huddled around in a circle.
"What should be done about this con artist?" he asked.
"He better provide those refunds to us!" Aleera spoke up.
"But what do we do about him after he does provide the refunds?" Midgel asked.
"I got an idea!" Samantha spoke up.
"What is it?" Oceranne asked.
"Why don't we have Lasdran help the colonists fix their planet?" Samantha suggested, "After all, that will give him a chance to make his wealth grow through honest work."
"Excellent suggestion, cadet," Zidgel said. He broke away from the huddle and approached Lasdran. "Lasdran, my crew and I have decided what must be done about you."
"I am to be thrown in prison, right?" Lasdran asked.
"No, you are to work with these colonists in rebuilding their home," Zidgel answered.
"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Lasdran exclaimed, "And I'll even provide all the refunds to everyone who isn't satisfied with their purchase! I just need my tablet!"
"Captain's blog, stardate something something, a bunch of numbers." Zidgel sat in his chair as he filed his post-mission captain's blog. "Our penguinitarian mission was a success, and as a little bonus, my crew and I got our full refunds from that con artist! Hopefully, his time spent rebuilding the 29th Federation colony will teach him the importance of not scamming anybody out of their money."
"As opposed to only giving him new ideas on how to pull fast scams?" Aleera asked.
"Hey, there's a 50-50 chance we'll never have to deal with him again," Zidgel replied.
"But that also means there's a 50-50 chance that we will see him again," Oceranne spoke up.
"Can't you let us have the satisfaction of having successfully completed another mission without speculating on whether or not we'll meet people like Lasdran again?" Zidgel asked. Michelle and Samantha zoned out the following argument that ensued as Midgel piloted the Rockhopper back to Earth.
Samantha fidgeted around with the purple crystal in her hands.
"Samantha, is your necklace still for sale?" Michelle interrupted her crystal fidgeting.
"No, not anymore," Samantha answered.
"That crystal's not as rare as you said it was, is it?" Michelle asked.
"No, it's not," Samantha replied, "I lied about that because I thought I could get a better deal that way. I'm sorry."
"Don't worry, I didn't actually lose any money," Michelle said.
"And you won't have to spend any money since I'm offering this for free." Samantha held out the crystal, "Do you still want it?"
"No thanks," Michelle answered, "I already got a crystal like that."
"Glad to hear you took my lesson to heart, Samantha," Grandmum spoke up.
"I did, Grandmum," Samantha said, "now I know that 'Wealth obtained by fraud will dwindle, but whoever earns it through labor will multiply it'."
"And you even apologized without any prompting from me," Grandmum replied.
"Is that crystal actually from a faraway planet?" Michelle asked after Grandmum left the room.
"Yes," Samantha answered, "I won it when playing ring toss at the Saturn Carnival on Spheniscidae."
"Se-phe-cid…?" Michelle struggled to pronounce the last name Samantha said.
"Spheniscidae," Samantha said, "it's the planet that the penguins are from."
"Hey, guys," Jason said as he entered the room, "What kind of mission did the penguins take you on?"
"Well," Michelle began to speak.
Night fell outside of the cottage. Within it, Jason, Michelle, and Samantha kneeled down next to their beds.
"Dear God," Jason, Michelle, and Samantha all started to pray.
"Thank you for the time I have at Grandmum's cottage, even though I didn't get to go on any space adventures this time," Jason said.
"And thank you for a cousin who won't try to scam me," Michelle said.
"Thank you for teaching me the importance of not scamming anybody out of their money," Samantha said.
"Amen," Jason, Michelle, and Samantha all said. Samantha pulled out a tablet and pressed the "contact" button.
"Who do you wish to contact?" The text read. Samantha typed in her father's name.
"Full visual or audio only?" Samantha chose the full visual option.
"Hello, Samantha," a Gentoo penguin wearing a green shirt said, "Are you enjoying your time at your grandmother's cottage?"
"I am now," Samantha answered.
"Good," her father replied, "I was starting to get worried that Earth was making you homesick."
"I am feeling a little homesick, Dad," Samantha said, "but talking with you is starting to make me feel a little better."
"Listen, I can't talk for very much longer," her father told her, "but whenever that homesick feeling comes back, you let me know so I can make you feel more at home."
"Bye," Samantha said. She put away her tablet and went to sleep.