Holy crap! Great googly-moogly! And thank God everything came out all right in the end!
You see, my bestest friends in the whole world went on a cruise last year and the cruise ship went down, and not in the fun way. They were missing for months, and no one knew if they were dead or alive.
Turns out they were alive, and when they got back, boy, did they have a tale to tell.
It seems that Jose and Kate both washed up on the same deserted island. After weeks of forced celibacy, Jose was pretty horny and started badgering Kate to have sex with him. A few weeks after that, Kate finally achieved the same level of horniness and gave in.
Three weeks of letting their animal instincts get the better of them go by, and then Jose said to her, "Kate, would you please do me a favor and put on this fake beard and mustache?"
"Jose," Kate said, "I know you're really a gay man, I can tell by the way you like to gossip, but I'm not going to have sex with you wearing a fake beard and mustache."
"I don't want to have sex with you wearing a fake beard and mustache," he assured her, "although that does sound pretty sexy. No, I just want you to put them on and walk around this deserted island."
"That's all?"
"That's all."
Kate thought about it, found the idea harmless, so she agreed. She put on the faux facial hair, and began her walk around the island.
Jose hurriedly walked away in the opposite direction, and, when he finally saw her in the distance, he breathlessly ran up to her and excitedly said, "Guess who I'm having sex with."