you were warned
José was on vacation in Hawaii.
It was a trip Kate was supposed to take, but she had to cancel when she broke a nail.
"You go in my place," she told José. "It's already paid for, so it would be a shame for it to go to waste."
José didn't have to be told twice.
On his first day in paradise, José was walking along a cliff, just enjoying the incredible ocean view, when he came upon a damsel in personal distress standing at the edge.
He said, "Hi."
She said, "Leave me alone."
He said, "My name is José."
She said, "I told you to leave me alone."
He said, "What're you doing?"
She said, "I'm going to jump and kill myself."
He said,, "As long as you're gonna kill yourself, why don't you have sex with me first?"
She said, "It's because of insensitive jerks like YOU that I'm jumping in the first place! Now get out of here so I can kill myself in peace!"
He said, "Not even some oral sex?"
She said, "As long as I'm alive, I'll NEVER have sex with you! Oral or otherwise!"
He said, "In that case, I'll see you at the bottom of the cliff."