Disclaimer: I do not own any character of (The Last of Us) TLOU is owned by Naughty Dog and their creators.

A/N: Another excitement drama chapter hope you like it. Again thanks for all the support to this story and for all the comments on it. I really glad how a few people have enjoyed this story so much. I'm really surprised how this book turns to be and is been fun to write. Now lest start with the chapter and remember to be safe out there and take care of yourself.

Chapter 18: How to Fix what is Broken

After Ellie got out of the bathroom wearing clean clothes, Joel told her that he ordered something for breakfast and that he was waiting for it. Ellie noodle and go sit on her bed. "So… what are we going to do today?" asked Ellie while laying on the bed.

Joel was lying in his with his hand behind his head and looking at the ceiling. "I don't know. It is still snowing out there, so going out, for now, is out of the question."

"Well… since going back to the jacuzzi is out of the question too… maybe we can stay here and watch some movies. At least until it stops snowing, what do you think?"

Joel turned his head and looked at her. He doesn't know what to say to her. Yeah, they have some fun here, but soon they have to face reality. He starts thinking about what Marlene said about things not going well there, what she means by that? Has she been getting worse already? Joel has a lot in his mind, not only about the thing with Marlene but also about his whole life. But his thinking was interrupted by a knock on the door and a man's voice.

"Roomservice…"

"Oh… that must be our breakfast." Ellie got out of the bed and walked to the door and opened it.

"Good morning… My name is Carl and I bring your breakfast you order." said the man looking at Ellie.

"Good morning to you too." Ellie moves to the side and lets the man in. "Thanks… you can put it on the table,"

Joel sat up on the bed and stood up. He grabs his wallet from the nightstand and takes some money out. He walks to where the table is and waits for the man to finish putting the food on the table. When he finishes, Joel gives him the tip. "Is there something else we can do inside the building? I mean like it gets entertaining or something. Since we can't go out now."

The man looks at him and starts to think. "Well, besides going to the restaurant, we don't have much to do indoors, but we have a little gym on the first floor if you're interested. We also have an ice sculpture competition this evening, but of course, that will depend on the weather."

"Ice… sculpture, that sounds like fun," said Ellie while sitting on the table.

"Okay… thanks," said Joel while escorting the man to the door. Soon the man was gone. He closed the door and walked back to the table and sat in the chair.

"Can we go there? That competition will be cool, I like ice sculptures," said Ellie while starting to eat her food.

"Well, as the man said, that will depend on the weather."

"I hope it stops soon, I want to go out there and do more things." she stops for a moment and looks at Joel. "Did you think my aunt is going to be mad at you because of the room thing?"

Joel takes a bit of his food, then looks at her. "I'm not sure how mad she is going to be, but I'm sure she is some right now."

"I just hope she doesn't get too mad, I really have a good time here with you. And thanks for the dinner last night and the dress and everything... That makes me really happy." said Ellie with a big smile on her face. "I have never been on a date with someone, so it was really nice."

"Well, I'm glad that you like it… I really had a good time too and I don't even remember to do something like this before."

Ellie takes another bite of her food. "Not even with your wife?" When Joel doesn't respond she looks at him and sees his distressed face. "Sorry… I don't mean to bring that up."

"Is okay… is just… I don't like to talk about her too much. Our marriage wasn't perfect or any close to that… and it is not good to talk bad about other persons."

"Is okay Joel… you don't need to talk about it. I'm so sorry that I brought it up," said Ellie feeling bad about it. Yeah, Joel told her before how his marriage didn't work, and even though he didn't tell her too much about that, she knows that it brings bad memories to him.

Joel gives her a small smile and continues eating. They don't talk much after that. Ellie notices that any time she asks something about his past it brings some pain to him. She wants to help him with that, just like he always helps her with her problems, but doesn't know-how. She is only 16, so what can a 16-year-old girl say to a man with a pain like that?

After they finish breakfast, Joel goes to his bed and sits down. Ellie grabs the remote control and turns the tv on. Ellie looks for a movie to watch and when she finds a Christmas one, She goes to the bed and sits beside him and watches the movie. They saw a few movies before Ellie noticed that it stopped snowing, so they decided to go out for a walk.

They put on the coats and all the things they need to keep their body warm and go outside. They walk around for a while watching people walking outside doing all kinds of things. Kids playing on the snow with their parents and all that. They were walking on a trail that got more into the forest. It was a route that went around the resort, but it seems that not many people use it. They stop in a little picnic area that has a few tables and a little kid's playground.

Soon they sat at one of the tables, Ellie spoke. "My Christmas vacation is almost over. After New Year's Eve, I have to go back to school and I won't be able to see you too much," said Ellie looking at him at the other side of the wooden picnic table.

Joel grabs one of her and looks at her. "Are you thinking about that now?"

Ellie lowered her head. "Sorry, but… I… I just."

"Ellie you don't need to worry about that. Yes, you will have to go back to school. But I will be home, so you can go there after you get out. Beside I promise your aunt that I will help you study… you need to up your grades." Joel lowered his head too. "It's kind of my fault that you got bad in school after I left. So the last that I can do is help you out."

Ellie feels bad about that too. She always does well at school, but Joel goes away messing up with her studies. Ellie looked at him. "Can you pick me up from school sometimes?"

"I will try… but you know that I need to work, so I am not always going to be free to do that, but if I have the time… sure I can do that," he said with some comfort.

"Thanks… I will like that.'' She looked at the view.

"Ellie, you don't need to worry about me okay… I am not going anywhere... this time." he cleared that up, just in case Ellie had some doubt.

Ellie smiles at him. "Thanks… Joel. I mean thanks for coming back for me. I know that my aunt made you go away, but I'm happy that you came back here… I really miss you."

"I miss you a lot too… Ellie" Joel picks up her hand and kisses it. Of course, she can't feel his lips with the globes on, but it was a nice gesture.

"I know that you don't want to talk about what you did all those months, but I still wanted to know. I know that you mention that you visited your brother and that did not go well… why?" Ellie didn't know if this was the right place to talk about that, but if she wanted to help him, she needed to try.

Joel looks to the side and takes a deep breath. "As I told you before, my brother and I never had a good relationship after our parents died and we have to go to leave with our grandpa. I don't blame him, I always was the rebel of the family, while he was the correct one." Joel lowered his head and looked at the table. "I did things that I was not proud of, and I think that in the end, I pushed my family away from me."

Ellie saw some tears trying to come out of him. So she moves her hand and grabs him with hers. "Joel, you don't need to tell me anything right now if it is painful to you… I only try to help you, and sometimes talking is good."

Joel looked at her hands. He doesn't know what he did to deserve a girl like her, she is only a teenager that doesn't know much about life, and even so, she is trying to help him. He doesn't want to talk about his past, but if he is going to make a life with her, he needs to tell her everything, so he continues.

"I did go back to Texas at first… But I don't even have the intention to visit him. He doesn't want to know anything about me, so I just go to a friend's house and he helps me to get a job there. But after a few weeks, things go bad again and I have to leave town." Of course, Joel is not going to tell her about what happened with his brother and the fight on that bar. She doesn't need to hear any of that, at least no now.

Ellie looked at his eyes. "But you told me that you saw him… right?"

"Yeah… I did before I went out of the state and looked for a job elsewhere. But the meeting wasn't all bad, Because I learned that he was going to be a father, so I'm happy for him."

Ellie's eyes go wide. "Really! You're going to be an uncle… that is great Joel," she said with some excitement. "Maybe one day we can go there and meet him. I can be like his aunt or something."

Joel moves his hand away from Ellie. "Yeah, I don't think so. I don't even know if I will be able to see him... ever. I even doubt that my brother is going to tell him that he has an uncle."

Ellie stood up and walked to the other side of the table and sat beside him. "That is not good Joel, they're your family… and you need to fix whatever is wrong with you two."

Joel looked at her with a surprised expression. He always wonders how she can do that. Act like a kid sometimes and others are like an adult. "I really don't know if I can ever do that, but I'm happy that you are trying to help me."

Ellie put her arm around his shoulder. "I think you should try… family is supposed to be together no matter what." Ellie stops for a moment and starts to think about her relationship with her aunt. Yeah it's been hard, but she is the only family she has and no matter what happens between them she still loves her, even if she doesn't say it much. So maybe it is good to follow her own advice and try to get a better relationship with her aunt too.

Joel looked at his watch and saw the time. Hey, it is almost 4:00. The sculpture competition started at 3:00. We better go back if you want to see it." This started to get sad, so it was better to do something else to feel better.

They stood up from the picnic table and walked back to the resort area where the competition was going to be. When they arrived it had already started. There were a lot of people there watching the competitors already working on the sculptures. There were 10 of them and they just were started so it was going to need a lot of time to finish them. Joel and Ellie try to find a good spot to watch the competition.

They watch it for a few hours. Ellie was excited as some of the sculptures were almost finished. She was surprised at how people can do such beautiful things. They moved to one of the sides close to the podium where the man in charge was talking to the people and encouraging the participant. Joel was behind Ellie when a little girl came close to him and started to pull his coat.

"Daddy… daddy… I want to see them." said the girl.

Joel turns around and looks at the girl that continues pulling his coat. The girl was blonde and looked like she was only 4 or 5 years old. "Sorry, kiddo… but I am not you daddy…"

The girl continued pulling his coat and calling him daddy. Ellie turns around and looks at the little girl. "Hey there… are you lost... Where are you, mommy?" Ellie tries to help the little girl when she notices that Joel just stays there without saying anything.

"Daddy… daddy…" the girl continued looking at Joel.

Ellie keels in front of the girl then look at Joel. "Sorry, but he is not you-" she stops when a woman comes closer to them almost without air.

The woman goes down and hugs the little girl. "Oh thank god… Sarah… don't do that again I was so worried."

"Look, mama… I found daddy…" the girl said, turning her head and looking at Joel.

"I'm sorry baby… but he is not you daddy." The woman looked at Joel and Ellie that was now standing beside him. "I'm so sorry… mister, but my little Sarah thinks that her dad is here."

Ellie looked at Joel and saw his face pale as a paper. Then without saying anything, Joel started to walk away from there. "Joel!... Where are you going?" Ellie yells at him as he starts to walk faster while pushing people to the side.

"Is he alright?" asked the woman while looking at Ellie.

"What did you say the girl nave was?" Ellie asked to try to figure out why Joel reacted like that.

The woman takes the little girl on her arm. "Her name is Sarah and she is 4… I'm so sorry about all this, but sometimes she gets a little confused. Her dad works a lot, and she doesn't see him much."

Ellie looks at the girl, and tries to remember where she hears that name before? After a moment of thinking, she remembered. "Holy shi-... Sorry… but I have to go… take care of that little girl," Ellie left the woman and the girl standing there, while she went after Joel.

Ellie ran toward the building and soon she got to their room. She opened the door and got inside. Soon she closed the door, she saw Joel sitting on his bed with his face buried in his hand. He was babbling something, but she couldn't understand. Ellie starts walking toward the bed. "Joel! Are you okay?" as he didn't say anything, Ellie moved closer and kneel in front of him. She can see his body was trembling and he looked like he was crying before she entered the room.

Ellie never saw him like that, but then she remembered that night in Joel's house and the name he spoke of. So maybe it was time to ask him about that. "Joel!" gently Ellie grabs his arm and pulls them away from his face. "Who is Sarah? And why does that name seem to affect you this much?" Joel looks at her and tries to get up, but Ellie stops him. "I like to help you… but you need to talk to me."

Joel looked at her. "You can't help me… nobody can." he finally stands up and moves away from Ellie. He walks to the slide glass door that gives an asset to the balcony and looks outside.

Ellie sat on the bed and waited for him to be more comfortable and ready to talk. "Maybe you're right… maybe I can't help you with what is going on with you… but I can listen. I know that that name means something to you, something from your past, and I think that talking about it can help you."

Joel continued looking outside. He really doesn't want to talk about his past, least of all to Ellie. She is too young and has her own problems to deal with. But, maybe it's time for her to know, he has to tell her anyway if they're going to be together. Joel held himself as he started to speak.

He doesn't turn around and continues looking outside. "Sarah… was my… baby daughter." he started with a lower tone. "She… was born with some complications… and the doctors… could not do anything to save her." Joel closes his eyes and lowers his head.

Ellie looked at him with a surprised but sad expression, but didn't say anything and let him continue.

"She only lasts a few weeks after she was born and… and I barely have her in my arms a few times before she dies." Joel opens his eyes and looks outside again. It was starting to snow again while some tears started to fall down from his eyes. "My marriage was a disaster… and she was supposed to be our anchor… but she never had the chance… for that."

Ellie stood up from the bed and walked toward him. "I'm so sorry Joel. I know that this must be painful to you," She gets closer and hugs him from behind. She put her head on his back while tears started falling down from her eyes too. She can feel his pain, as she too has a loss in her life. She was too young when her mother passed away, but she knows how painful this can be.

"She was so tiny…" Joel continued. "She was in my arms when… she died… she didn't even…" Joel stops and lowers his head again. He tried to hold his tears, but it was in vain.

Ellie hugs him tight, making him know that she was there for him. That he is not alone in his pain. Losing a mother is hard, but losing a child can be worse. "Is okay Joel… I can't imagine how losing a child can be to someone… but I'm here for you." Ellie doesn't know what else she can say or do to make him feel better. This must be eating him from the inside for a long time. "How long has it been? I mean since this happened?" Ellie doesn't know if she is going to be good at this, but she wants him to let it all out.

Joel grabbed her arm that was on his waist with his. Trying to hold himself on her. He talks about this with a psychologist when he has his therapies. But those didn't help him much with the pain inside. "It… was 10 years ago… I guess…" he squeezed Ellie's arms a little. "A parent never should bury his child… that is not the natural circle of life… and the worst part was that I always think that it was my fault and maybe it was. I tried everything I could… I even pray to God to give her a chance… even if I was not that religious... but all that was in vain."

"It wasn't your fault… Joel," Ellie tries to say something to make him feel better but she doesn't know what to say. "It was nothing you could do to stop that… I know it is sad and painful… but you should not blame yourself for that."

Joel had heard that so many times, from his wife, the doctors, the psychiatrist he has to visit after that, and from his brother too. But any of them could make the pain go away. "I don't know why she has to die… and the worst part was, that I have to watch her die alone... her mother does not even want to be there when it happens. She was so cowardly that she did not want to be there when she died." Ellie noticed that his pain had changed to anger.

Ellie removes her arms from his waist and moves away from his back. She grabs one of his hands and makes him turn around to face her. "Joel… everything is going to be okay… I'm here for you. So you don't have to deal with this pain alone anymore," she can feel his hand trembling. "I know that you think that I'm just a teenage girl, but I love you, and if we're going to be together in the future, I wanted to let you know that I'm here for you."

Joel looks at her with surprise expression. He always thinks that Ellie is over her age and he like that. "We're supposed to be there for her together… but… she never wanted her in the first place. Why? Why… she does that…?" he continued, but changed his mood as soon he talked about his wife and what she did.

Ellie pulls Joel toward the bed and makes him sit. She kneels in front of him and grabs his face with her hands. "I'm so sorry about what happened to your daughter… I, not a mother to know how bad that can feel, but I have a loss too, so I understand your pain." Ellie looked him in the eyes and saw all his pain in there. "But you can't let that control you for the rest of your life. I know that I am not the right person to tell you this… I'm only 16 and I'm not a doctor or anything… but you need to make peace with all this and move on."

Joel looks at her and starts to remember the voice from his dreams. She will save you. You just need to let go of the pain and move on. Joel hears that voice so many times in his head and doesn't know what or who it was. He remembers his last dream and remembers the two doors in front of him. "You have a choice one to save yourself. You just need to open the right one." Joel was looking at Ellie, not knowing what to do or what those dreams mean to him. But he now knows the meaning of those two doors and why he needs to choose one.

"She can save you… you just need to let go of the pain and open yourself to her."

He hears the voice again. It was on his mind and for a moment he closed his eyes and all went dark. Soon he opens his eyes, Joel notices that he is not in the room. Everything was dark and only two doors appeared in front of him. He doesn't know if he is dreaming or he has already lost his mind. He looks at the two doors for a minute, until one of them disappears and a form of a small girl appears instead.

"You need to choose…" he hears the voice coming from the figures in front of him. He can see now that the figure was in the form of a little child.

"I don't get it… what is this?" Joel starts to ask. Who are you? And why am I here again?"

"Is it time… is it time to make you choose?" The girl looked familiar to him. She has short blonde hair and her face… he saw that face before, but not like that.

"What am I supposed to choose? Is only one door now," said Joel looking at the little girl.

"You need to choose to either stay here or go through the door."

"Where is here?"

"I can't tell you what you already know." answer the little girl with a smile on her face.

"I don't understand…" says Joel with a desperate tone. "Who are you? And why do you do this to me… I don't understand."

"I don't have much time now... but I'm here to help with your decision. But if you want to know the meaning of the two-door. One door is your past and the other your future. Is time for you to choose one... Joel" said the girl while looking at him with curious eyes.

"Who are you? and how you know my name?" asked Joel while trying to understand.

"The only thing that I can tell you is that you never were alone. there is someone that loves you very much… and know that you will make the right choice…" the girl disappears and the other door appears again.

Joel stayed looking at the two doors for a long time. Hear it in his mind the choice he needs to take. He didn't know what the girl means by some loves him… who loves him… Ellie? or it was someone else? Joel looks at the two doors and understands what the girl means by he needs to choose between his past or his future. The past was his pain, so his future had to be…

She can save you… she can help you to move on. He hears the voice in his head. Joel needs to move forward, but he doesn't want to forget his daughter either, even if she only lives for a short time. But he has been drowning himself for so long in his pain, that maybe it was time to let go of it. But that could mean losing what he loves most in this life, so he was ready to do that? Joel makes one last look and starts walking toward the doors to pick one.

"Joel… can you hear me?" Ellie grabs his face and looks into his eyes. He looked lost in his thoughts and she didn't know what else to do. "JOEL!" she yells at him, trying to wake him up from his trance. "Joel you're scaring me… please listen to me… whatever this is, just follow my voice."

She was starting to get panic, so she wanted to call 911, but before she could do something else. Joel grabs her by her arm and pulls her closer. He moves his arm behind her and hugs her tight. "I choose you…" said Joel as soon he came out of his state of mind. Ellie doesn't know what just happened, but she can feel Joel crying on her shoulder. She does not remember if Joel looks like that, but maybe it was something to do with Joel opening up to her. Knowing about Joel's daughter and how she dies, makes her sad too. so in the end both of them cry in each other's arms.