José told Kate, "When I was a teenager, my mother came into my room unexpectedly and caught me masturbating."
"Oh, my goodness," Kate squealed. "That's embarrassing."
"Yes, I was. But she was cool about it. She told me, 'José, please don't do that. You should save it until you find a nice girl."
"So what happened?" Kate wanted to know.
"So far," he continued, "I'm up up to NINE jars!