Cousland's POV

Leandra Hawke was a wonderful lady, not many would welcome a group of armed strangers into their house. Leandra was certainly more open to the idea than her son, Carver. He was worried about the backlash from harboring fugitives, even though he stated that he didn't believe Loghain, since he was at Ostagar.

But while she invited us in, she refused to have the dogs inside. Duke was put in the back with Astrid's dog, Madam Woofington and, apparently Kaylee has a mabari now, and she named it Barkspawn. I am not at all surprised by that.

It was refreshing to just sit down for a moment with my friends around me, the last time I sat relaxed like this was back home in Castle Cousland. I frowned at the fresh memory and pushed it away. I have a job to do. I can mourn later. Alistair was sitting in a chair to my right and Kaylee walked in with a red haired woman- she must be Leliana, Leandra had mentioned her when we did introductions- and sat on my other side.

I had never seen anyone sit the way Kaylee did, she was like a cat. Sprawled out on the chair, one leg over the arm rest and the other on the floor. I smiled at her silliness. I was so scared that we lost her. I don't know why I was so scared to lose her, since I've only known her for maybe two weeks. She was the only friend I had left, and she's practically a stranger.

Leandra, Leliana, Zoey and Bethany came into the room with some bread and cheese for us. I was starving after eating only dried meat for the past few days. Apparently Kenai fed Daya and Kaylee a similar diet.

Within moments the food was gone. I was still hungry, which was unusual. I've never been this hungry before- it's probably from all the traveling and exercise I had done over the past few days.

Leandra watched us scarf down the food with surprise shown on her face. I suppose we were being quite messy.

I leaned back and noticed Alistair looking at us. "If that's how I ate after my joining, then I owe the other wardens an apology." I glanced around at my colleagues and noticed how messy we were. Kaylee had crumbs all around her mouth and the others were in similar states.

"Sod off, Cheese Boy. We've been eating rabbit legs and leaves for the past week, this is amazing." At Alistair's surprised look from the nickname Kaylee added, "Yes, I saw you scarf down that cheese like there was a sovereign hidden inside one and you didn't want anyone else to get it. Leave some for the rest of us, man." I chuckled at Alistair's face and incoherent mumbling in his defense.

I looked around the group and Zoey had sat beside Leliana and Bethany, who joined us for snacks. We were sitting in a broken circle around the Hawke's main room. Carver and Leandra were in the next room over and the last Hawke was with Morrigan outside.

I realized that two Wardens were missing, Luna and Ser Aubrey. "Does anyone know what happened to Aubrey and Luna?" I looked toward Zoey and Kaylee, since they were probably close to the warrior and mage during the battle.

Kaylee sat up, put both feet on the floor and steeled her expression as Zoey immediately started crying. Oh shit, I didn't mean to, whoops.

Kaylee looked at her hands as she spoke, "Aubrey... sacrificed herself to avenge Duncan." Maker guide her soul. Alistair lowered his head before standing up and walking outside. I should make sure he's okay, hearing about Duncan must have been hard.

Zoey wiped her eyes, "I was with Luna... then I turned around and she got shot by an arrow. She... she just disappeared." Bethany rubbed her back as she spoke. Poor Luna. Kenai looked uncharacteristically put out as well.

A silence had befallen our group, "I'm... sorry I brought it up." I stood and left the deathly quiet house.

Alistair was sitting on a short stump beside the house, resting his elbows on his knees. I crouched in front of him so I could see his face.

"Do you want to talk about Duncan?" I spoke just loud enough that he could hear me but quiet enough for no one to listen in.

He shook his head slightly, "You don't have to do that. I know you didn't know him as long as I did."

"He was like a father to you. I understand." His face morphed into one of pain.

"I... I should have handled it better. Duncan warned me from the beginning that this could happen. Any of us could die in battle, and now most of us have." He shook his head sadly. "I shouldn't have lost it in the Wilds, not when so much was riding on just us, not with the Blight and... and everything, I'm sorry." He looked at me with more powerful puppy eyes than Duke.

"There's no need to apologize." He contemplated his hands before speaking again.

"I'd like a proper funeral for him. Maybe once this is all done, if we're still alive. I don't think he had any family to speak of." I was silent for a moment while I thought of my reply.

"He had you." Alistair raised his head to look me in the eye and had a very small smile lift the corner of his mouth.

"I suppose he did." His eyes met his hands again and the smile left, "It probably sounds stupid, but part of me wishes I was with him. In the battle. I feel like I've abandoned him." I felt the same about my father. "Of course I'd be dead then, wouldn't I? It's not like that would make him much happier. But hearing that Aubrey sacrificed herself for Duncan... It should have been me." He turned his head and looked away from me.

I put my hand on his cheek to turn his head back towards me but his eyes stayed on the ground, "Don't think like that, it does nothing but eat at you." He looked up and thought about what I said while we made eye contact. His amber eyes shone in the sun and flicked across my face.

He cleared his throat when I removed my hand. "I think he came from Highever, or so he said. Maybe I'll go up out there sometime, see about putting something up there in his honour. I don't know." That would be a nice sentiment. I should do the same, if I can face my demons there.

"Maybe I'll go with you when you go. I have somethings I should do there as well."

"I think I'd like that." His small smile returned. "Thank you. Really, I mean it. It was good to talk about it, at least a little."

I smiled softly at him. "He was a friend of mine, too." I thought about how he saved me from Highever, and how I doomed Riordan by making him stay to protect my parents. I regret asking Duncan to sacrifice his friend, it was selfish and stupid of me. I doubt it made much difference anyways.

"That's good to hear. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who remembers him well."

"I'm sure you could ask any Warden inside that house and they'd say the same. He was a good man." I stood up and held my hand out for him to take. "Now, shall we go back inside?" He smiled at my hand and grasped my arm as he stood.

Authors Note

sorry this is short. This is mostly a filler. Only one more in lothering then I can guarantee that the story will pick up speed. Beginnings are slow

Thanks to Warden Nightingale for being my Beta!