"Hey, Mom, can you take me to-"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'm busy cleaning the house today."
Mom had been obsessively cleaning the entire house for the past several days. I guess it was the only thing she could do to distract herself.
Mom's best friend came over for a visit.
"So… how are the boys doing?"
"They're good."
"Barley is in the hospital," I said.
"Oh, really?"
"Ian, please don't interrupt our conversation," Mom said.
"Well, it's true!" I said.
"Go to your room," Mom said.
On Friday, I decided to stay at a friend's house for the weekend. I don't really remember any of it. I just couldn't think, and time went by in a blur.
However, I strongly remembered another conversation that I had overheard between Mom and Colt.
"Why have you been so sad lately?" Colt asked.
"Why do you think?" Mom said. "Barley is sick!"
"Well, at least he's staying out of trouble," Colt said.
"He's really sick!" Mom said.
"Like really, really, sick?"
"Yes! He could've died! He still might die!"
Something wasn't quite adding up.
The last time I had talked to Barley on the phone, he sounded a lot more like his normal self.
Unfortunately, he also found out my secret.
Mom must have told him.
"So, you've been keeping Guinevere II company, eh?" he said, laughing.
"Uh… well… uhh…"
"I miss you," he said. "It's been two days!"
"It's been more than that, actually," I said. "I thought that you'd be home soon."
"Eh, well…" he said. "They needed to do more tests, y'know?"
"Oh," I said. "I see."
"So… are you going to come visit again?"
"I don't know," I said. "That depends on if Mom takes me."
"I miss you! I need interaction, man!"
"What about your friends?"
"Uhh...they don't even really know about all this."
"Oh. I see."
We talked for hours.
When Barley finally came home, he had a beard.
I was in my room, doing my homework at the time. I had no idea that he was even going to come home yet.
Suddenly, I heard a lot of noise outside my door.
Thud! Bang! Crash!
I opened the door and peeked out. "CAN YOU STOP THAT-"
My heart skipped a beat.
Barley?
He's home?!
I quickly closed the door again.
No. I must be hallucinating.
I skipped dinner again.
Mom knocked on the door.
"Don't you want to eat?"
"I'm not feeling well."
And so, I stayed home from school the next day. Or, at least I tried to.
"IAN LIGHTFOOT!"
"Yeah? What is it?" I said, trying to sound sick.
"Why do people keep calling me and saying that they're sorry for my loss?" Mom asked. "Did you fake your own death?"
"No… I faked Barley's death!" I said.
"YOU WHAT?!"
"I didn't mean to! I just… I may have accidentally implied it… and one thing led to another…"
Mom sighed.
"You're going to school. Now."
I knew that Mom was going to be mad at me, so I tried to slip by without notice.
Unfortunately, Barley noticed me and ambushed me with a massive hug.
"GAH!"
"What's wrong? Aren't you happy to see me?" he asked.
"I am!" I said. "I am!"
Barley was back home, and everything was right in the world again. Or so I thought….
As I struggled to escape his grasp, my hand rubbed against his beard.
It was very scratchy.