This was supposed to go out yesterday. Those who follow my twitter and tumblr know that (and know why it didn't) but considering my last delay was like five months, I think I'm doing pretty okay this time!
I forgot to ask this last chapter but I wanted to know. Thoughts on Deamus? Do we like it? Do we hate it? I'm pretty much doing cannon couples, but only three are set in stone. Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, and Remus/Tonks are not changing (though I do love Remus/Sirius). Everyone else, I think, I can be a little less strict about so tell me what you think! Tell me what you want! I'm going to be switching perspectives a lot so all characters are important enough.
Also, tell me if there's anyone in particular you want to read something. I have my picks for book one, so those won't be changing. Unless there's an idea I really like, but if that happens you can expect a delay in updates. For example, there's a small little reaction in this chapter that was not previously in my plans but I like how it came out. I'm going to be starting to write for book 2 a bit later on, I haven't planned out everyone who's reading what chapters, so let me know if there's anyone in particular you want to read something. My only rule is they have to already have the book. No parents, siblings, relatives, creatures, or anyone else who isn't already reading is going to be added to the story, this was a rule I made for myself. Sirius and Remus are the only exception to the ONLY HOGWARTS rule I made for myself (and I'm being strict about it. Believe me, I have to be, or else all of the wizarding world would be reading, plus the Dursleys, probably).
God this is getting long, so I'll save my last point for the bottom. Happy reading!
Disclaimer, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters and this is not a way for me to criticize the books. It's just how I believe the characters would react if they read JK Rowling's brilliant work.
In this chapter: Harry has the best Christmas ever and receives and invisibility cloak as well! He uses it to go exploring and finds a room with a mirror that shows him what his parents look like. He didn't expect Dumbledore to be there, though.
Chapter 12
Harry sat in the Great Hall with Hermione and Ron at breakfast as Parvati curled her eyelashes with her wand. He was quite ready for Divination and it had nothing to do with the classwork. He had questions and he hoped Firenze would answer them, though he was reminded of when Hagrid had asked the centaurs' simple questions in his detention in the forest. Firenze was always pretty helpful though, perhaps this time would be different. Hermione had just opened up her copy of the daily prophet when Parvati glanced at her for a moment and smirked.
"I'll bet you wish you hadn't given up Divination now, don't you, Hermione?" she asked as she examined her eyelashes in her spoon. Hermione responded (whatever she said made Lavender gasp) but Harry's attention was redirected to Seamus, Dean, and Neville who came down talking happily.
"Hiya, Harry. You look chipper!" Seamus said. It was thoroughly untrue, Harry could not look more tired if he tried. "I'd look like that if I were so close to blasting Malfoy off his arse but got thwarted just before I could, too."
"How'd that even happen?" Neville asked. "Or almost happen?"
"We were going to the Great Hall when someone tried to catch one of us off guard and hex us. I think it was Parkinson." Ron informed them.
"So she hasn't stopped being a cow, then?" Parvati interrupted her own conversation. "I hoped maybe she grew a heart. You know, because she helped with the Dursleys."
"She was just in it for cursing muggles. We simply used that to our advantage." Hermione informed her. "I will say, I think she had an extra vendetta for Harry's relatives, though, so maybe her heart defrosted a little, but not enough to change her."
"So what happened when she tried to curse you?" Dean asked.
"All three of us managed a shield charm in time, and it bounced off of mine and Hermione's right to Malfoy." Harry said in an almost bored tone. "It missed him but just by an inch, and he thought it was an invitation to dish out insults."
"That's when Harry said, 'how about we finish what we never started?' and Malfoy was in just a foul enough mood to not chicken out this time." Ron explained. "I swear the crowd materialized after that."
"I'm assuming you know the rest, based on the fact that you were yelling at me to 'kick his arse' not soon after that." Harry actually smirked a bit and Seamus grinned at his favorite word. "What were you talking about when you came down?"
"We were just talking about chapter eleven." Dean informed them.
"We haven't read it." Ron admitted. "We haven't even finished chapter ten."
"Really?" Parvati asked. "You're going pretty slow."
"We've already done all of it, though." Harry shrugged. "We know Ron makes Hermione cry," Ron's ears went red and he looked ashamed. "We know the troll breaks in. It feels useless to read about it all, I could have told you the story."
"But the next chapter's about quidditch!" Seamus said looking at Ron as if he should understand but Ron did not meet his eyes as he was busy with his food.
"Well, to be fair, it's not quite as good reading about the game as it is watching it." Neville conceded.
"Oh great, sometimes I don't even like watching it." Parvati mumbled.
"You haven't read it yet?" Dean asked.
"We will, tonight probably." Lavender said. "We told you, we wanted to prepare for Divination!"
Before Parvati and Lavender could get deeper into that conversation, Neville turned to Hermione. "So do even you dislike reading these books?"
Hermione glanced away from her newspaper to her bag where the first book was. "Well Harry doesn't like them, so it's hard for me to like them because it makes him uncomfortable."
The others glanced at Harry, who did not look up at them. They'd forgotten, for a moment, what this must feel like for him.
"But, I just keep trying to figure out what the point of them is." Hermione finally put her paper down. "I can't even begin to think of how they came to be, but why are they here? Why is Umbridge making us read them?"
"To embarrass me." Harry mumbled.
"No, Harry, I think that's an added bonus. I think she's up to something... I think she has an agenda." Hermione said as her eyes found the pink spot in the hall. Harry looked up as Hermione's words sunk in.
"Well she wants to find out about Harry's secrets, doesn't she?" Ron said as he and Harry and Hermione barely noticed Dean, Seamus, Lavender, Parvati, and Neville watching them curiously. It seemed the trio had unintentionally included them in one of their private conversations. They were usually so quiet.
"But think about the day she assigned them, Ron!" Hermione insisted in an energetic whisper. "She said she wants to clear things up!"
"She wants to prove I'm lying?" Harry asked and slowly grinned. "But I'll be able to prove I'm not."
"Well that's the thing." Hermione said crossing her arms. "If she really believes you're lying, then yes, she wants to expose you. But if she knows you're not and only wants everyone to think you are, then what's her plan?"
The trio were quiet before Hermione turned to her classmates. "What do you think?"
The surprise on all of them was almost comical. "Us?" asked Lavender.
"What do you think are her motives?" Hermione asked slowly as if speaking to someone quite daft. Neither her, Harry, or Ron realized that those who were watching them had been afraid of speaking up and alerting them to their presence for fear of being shut out again.
"Do you want to hear our ideas as well?" Neville asked Harry.
"I'm open to suggestions." Harry shrugged.
"Is something wrong?" Hermione asked.
"You must realize how strange this is for us," Parvati explained. "You're all usually so... private."
"Nothing's private anymore." Ron grunted. Harry had been feeling violated since the book's first appearance. Ron and Hermione were beginning to as well. However it was specifically the tenth chapter, the one with the troll, that had them most indignant. It was an important part of their friendship, and they did not particularly want to share it with anyone. Now, though, it had been shared with everyone and they got no say. It almost wasn't conscious, but the fact that nothing they did was private anymore caused them to not care who overheard them. Why keep secrets if they didn't stay secret?
"So, any thoughts?" Harry asked.
"Erm... well I think she doesn't believe you, so she's using the books to prove you're wrong." Neville said, still uncertainly.
"It would have been smart of her to read ahead of time." Seamus said. "Know for sure before she embarrasses herself, right?"
"We never said she was smart." Ron joked.
"But how did she even get them?" Hermione asked. "Did she get them herself in some illegitimate way?"
"No she didn't." Harry said. "We found them at the same time."
Hermione snapped to him. "What?"
Harry recounted the night he, and then Umbridge, found the books, and then seeing them on his desk the next day. Hermione looked ready to burst.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Ron asked for Hermione who was going a little red.
"I didn't think it matt-"
"Of course it matters!" Hermione cried out and gained the attention of those nearby. She quieted down a bit. "Don't you want to know how they got here? Why they're here? What they're meant for? I've been thinking this whole time she had done something crafty, but they weren't even meant for her, were they? They were meant for you, Harry! They were always meant for you! Don't you know what this means?"
She turned wild eyes to all of them. Ron and Harry were used to this behavior when Hermione started putting pieces together, but the others looked a bit frightened.
"It means the person who sent this was on our side!" Hermione said when no one answered her. "Think about it. If they were Umbridge's books that she or some colleague made for her, they were made out of spite! To embarrass and expose you. But they were made and sent to you specifically. Not to embarrass you, because you'd have gotten to choose who you shared it with! But that must mean they have another purpose..."
"Hermione," Ron looked a little amused. "We can think about it later, can't we? We've got class now."
"Oh!" Lavender shot up and looked at Parvati panicked. "We don't want to be late!"
Parvati got up after her as the two practically ran from the room. Hermione did not look impressed by them.
"Well, fine. I will see you at break then, we can finish reading chapter ten then, and maybe more." Hermione said getting up. Ron and Harry groaned. "Stop it, you two! I understood putting it off before, I really did!" And it was true. Sure, Harry's mind was fascinating, but it was Harry's mind and she felt invasive being inside of it. Not to mention it felt personal for her as well with as much as she was already mentioned in it, and would continue to be mentioned in it in the future. "But it's different now. Someone sent them to Harry for a reason!"
"I s'pose." Harry mumbled.
"Okay, so we'll finish chapter ten at break." Hermione said with no room for arguments. They watched her walk off.
"Is she always like that?" Dean asked.
"You've been around her for five years, Dean." Ron said getting up.
"But not when she's, erm, excited like that." Dean answered. "We're sort of realizing we don't know you all as much as we thought."
Neither Ron nor Harry answered them. Neville looked between them and then turned to Dean and Seamus.
"I'll catch up." he said in a way that told them clearly he wanted to speak to Harry and Ron. Dean and Seamus nodded and Neville turned to Ron and Harry. "Walk to class together?"
At first as they walked they didn't say anything but waited until they were out of the noisy Great Hall. When they were out, they walked very slowly. Then, Neville asked, "Are you alright?"
"It's like we said, Nev, nothing's private." Ron said. "You think I wanted the whole school to know what I told Harry about my brothers on the express?"
"No I suppose not." Neville mumbled. He glanced at Harry.
"Something's coming up, in one of these next chapters, that I really don't want anyone else to read." Harry finally admitted why he was so down. He never thought what he saw in the Mirror of Erised would be broadcasted to the entire Hogwarts population. Some might have already read it, if the pitying looks people gave him were any indication. Though he'd been getting them for a while, so it was hard to tell if it was due to any new information.
"You mean like how your aunt and uncle treated you?" Neville asked. Harry noted that Neville said 'treated' and reflected that Neville will soon find they have not yet stopped treating Harry badly.
"No." Harry answered.
"Oh, er, you mean like the wand thing?" Neville asked.
"Even more personal." Harry grumbled. Ron frowned, wondering once again if there was something that could be done about this whole mess.
"Oh." was all Neville said. The only thing said after that was when Neville explained Divination was moved to classroom eleven. Said classroom had been decorated to be just like the forest that it was like stepping right into it. After an unusual class with Firenze, Harry lingered.
"Are you coming, Harry?" Ron asked.
"Actually, I would like a word with you, Harry Potter." Firenze said. Ron hesitated until Firenze said he could stay. Firenze then told Harry to deliver a message to Hagrid, that the latter should abandon his efforts on whatever it was he was working on. This did temporarily displace Harry's question for the centaur as he wanted to know what Hagrid was up to, but Firenze would give up no information. He said he would not "betray his secret" and then dismissed Harry, but Harry was not finished.
"Erm, but I was wondering if I could ask you a question?" Harry carefully selected his words. He was not leaving yet and he was gonna ask questions, but saying that may do nothing but make things worse.
"And what question is that?" Firenze allowed.
"I, well, I..." Harry had to admit to himself he didn't know the exact way to phrase what he was asking. "Er, is there a way to look into someone's future...?"
Firenze eyed him contemplatively but said nothing so Harry continued.
"A specific person's future, that is? Not just... not just the future itself, but the future related to a particular individual? And... is it possible to do so without that person's knowledge?"
He saw from behind him Ron's understanding of what he was asking.
"No." Firenze said shortly and Harry was so shocked by the quick and not vague answer that he was sure he had been dismissed until Firenze continued. "The future is indeterminable, and while there may be a direction for the individual, it is rarely a clear one, though many attempt to see it. Different futures float around, they form and deform themselves. The past, however, is remembered."
"The past is..." Harry repeated, perplexed. He turned and looked at Ron, who shrugged.
"If the past has been lived through, it is in memory of that who has lived it until that person ceases to exist. Can you change a memory?" Firenze asked.
"...Um..."
"Is changing a memory the same as changing the past?" Firenze asked.
Ron decided to have a go at it. "Yes?"
Firenze eyed the fake sky of the room. "Mars has been bright for many years."
"Is... Is it not still?" Harry asked.
"Still bright." Firenze answered. "Just not quite as."
Many hours later, when the sky was inky, Sirius dropped the book and ran away up the stairs to his room. Remus watched him with a burning in his eyes, nose, and throat that hinted at the threat of tears. He put a hand through his hair as the other hand held the book, he was shaking. He swallowed, feeling like there was a knot in his throat constricting his air flow. He wondered if he should follow Sirius, though he didn't think it would help.
Sirius had never been much one to hide his emotions. Remus and James were always the type, well Remus tried to be anyway. Usually it didn't work, James, however, had always been very good at hiding his emotions. Too good, sometimes, and perhaps that was where Harry got it. James used humor to hide his emotions and he was so boisterous it was sometimes hard to tell if he were upset. Except with Lily, when Lily was involved he could never seem to cover up as well.
Sirius, though, didn't like to bottle things up. It was sometimes a good thing, though it sometimes lead to arguments because Sirius liked to hash things out right away. That's how he'd been when he was young anyway. Since Azkaban, Sirius would run and hide if any negative emotion came up in him. It likely didn't help that James, who Remus knew Sirius would always go to, was no longer around.
Remus wiped away the wetness in his eyes. It was almost too much. After the first night of reading nine chapters in one day and only not going further because the book didn't allow it, Remus and Sirius agreed to cool it. The momentum had worn off and they needed a day to recover from everything the books were throwing at them. The next day they noticed the book would allow them to read to chapter twelve and sat down again.
It was another stint of emotional highs and lows. Harry was in class actually learning magic, doing normal things like practicing to levitate feathers, but then he nearly died from a troll. Then he made another friend who he was still friends with. He has his first game of Quidditch, but nearly died. Sirius and Remus were beginning to be unsure if they'd survive reading these books. Chapter twelve, however, was surely their undoing.
They hadn't gotten through the whole thing before Sirius practically flew upstairs, though having to stop in the middle of chapters wasn't new for them. Already Remus and Sirius were trying to keep their emotions in check. Harry having his first real Christmas and being surprised that he had presents alone could have ripped them to pieces. The memories it dug up of Remus and Sirius staying for the holidays and having the time of their lives made them exchange watery smiles. Especially when they remembered the one year James stayed for the holidays as well.
Remus thought he would break when Harry received the cloak. Somehow he kept it together, mostly with him realizing that Dumbledore had James' cloak, and for ten years. He never questioned how Harry got it, it just seemed so natural that he and he alone would have it. He never took the time to wonder when Harry received it. Dozens upon dozens of memories of a simpler time of disappearing beneath the cloak with his brothers played in his mind and he had to focus to be able to read.
Remus thought he'd read the worst of it. How much more emotional could a single chapter get, afterall? That was until Harry found his way to the empty room with the mirror that honestly tore him apart.
It was in the description of James and Lily that both Remus and Sirius truly lost their composure. Sirius had let out a pitiful whimper before he ran upstairs, Remus was no better. It was everything combined with the wound of James and Lily being gone being reopened, added with Harry seeing his parents for the very first time, and realizing he was seeing his parents for the first time, that had Remus dig his palms deep inside of his eyes and kick the book he hadn't been aware he dropped away.
Miles and miles away, unknown to all parties, Severus Snape was having his own reaction.
He hated the way he was spending his time, like every other person in this building, reading up on Potter's life. As if the brat's head wasn't already large and he didn't have enough admirers. Severus, though, was aware that there were certain things the boy was uncomfortable with sharing. It was satisfying that he may not be enjoying this either.
Severus tried, hard, to resist the temptation to read those damned books, but his curiosity simply got the best of him. He didn't have near the emotional journey that others perhaps had, many things that happened in the stories were things he was already aware of. He had no reaction to Potter bobbing up and down on his broom (though admittedly shocked that it was Granger who set him on fire), and he wasn't surprised that Potter suspected him the villain. He had no reaction at all to Potter's first Christmas, as he did not enjoy the holiday, and never had.
He was not at all prepared for the blow of Lily showing up once again. Emotions swirled around him, wrapping around his throat like a noose. Guilt, despair, grief, longing, it went on and on. He latched on to the feeling of envy, because it actually hurt the least. His envy that Potter got to see her one more time covered his skin like green scales. Envy turned to the familiar coolness of bitter hatred towards Potter before Severus emptied all feelings and finished the chapter with emotionless flips of the pages.
Remus wiped all evidence of his emotions off his face when he heard the creak of the stairs that told him Sirius would be back down. Indeed he was, a small embarrassed smile on his face as his eyes fell on two discarded books. "Sorry, wasn't expecting..."
He trailed off as the smile slipped off his face and his eyes looked a bit more haunted. "You didn't have to come back down. We can call it a night." Remus said.
Sirius shook his head and lied outright by saying, "I'm fine." He looked at Remus for the first time and raised an eyebrow. "Are you?"
"Yes." Remus also lied.
"Good, then." Sirius said trying again for a smile but failing. He tried to joke a bit instead. "Wish we could go back to the last chapter. I still would like to find a way to send Hermione fudge. For setting the git on fire."
Remus gave him what he hoped was a small smile but did not respond, instead picking the book up and finishing what they'd started. He noticed Sirius made no move to pick up his own book, apparently not wanting to follow along. Remus read on, his voice a bit more grunting as he worked around the knot in his throat that insisted on staying there. He didn't get far before Sirius looked up quickly and nearly dove for his book.
"What are you doing?" Remus asked.
"Ron and Harry are assuming they'll see Ron's family when he looks in the mirror. It made me realize we don't know what the thing does, what it's for, even if it's safe. I'm going to look at that inscription again."
"It was in another language," Remus said though he flipped back to that page.
"It doesn't look like any language I've ever seen." Sirius said studying the page.
"There are so many languages out there, it could be Mermish for all we know." Remus said.
Sirius didn't respond, but instead studied the words and Remus even did as well. He found himself turning over his wand in his hand and then he wrote the words out in the air so he could see them in front of himself. Sirius looked up and cocked his head to the side.
"Oh." Sirius said, staring at the words. "It's backwards."
Remus came around to his side, and while the letters weren't exactly right (for example, the d read as b) he now saw that it was English but backwards and the spacing wasn't exactly right. It didn't take long before they figured it out. I show not your face but your heart's desire. Sirius hoped that figuring out what the mirror was would make it easier, but it only made it all worse. Harry had no idea how much Remus and Sirius shared his desire.
Sirius practically crumpled into the chair but sat stoically as Remus continued reading. Both wished Harry could have the greatest desires of being the Head Boy and a Quidditch captain like Ron. Sirius only reacted again when Dumbledore revealed he'd been watching Harry in the mirror, where his face twisted into something ugly and he said in a tight voice, "That was a private moment." But not a word else. When Remus finished, he closed the book and wished Sirius a good night. He could no longer stay in that room, his head throbbed and he felt sick from the emotions he'd gone through. Sirius didn't stop him. He didn't move at all.
Okay, so my last point: No update next week. So sorry, I'm really busy right now, and I honestly have no time on my hands. I want to feel comfortable sharing my work and I just can't do that without going through it, especially because there's usually something I want to add or change all together before I even send it to my beta. I won't have time this week. But I will not take months to update again I PROMISE. And you can still contact me on here or on the other stuff, you know the stuff by now lol.
Tell me how I did with the Firenze scene, I rewrote it more than any other part of this story (other than the story itself lol. For those who doesn't know, this is the third version of Thin Pages. Maybe one day I'll put up the early EARLY version on tumblr that's honestly sort of unrecognizable. Just for fun). I'm pretty happy with how it came out but tell me if you think it's not that good. I like honesty!
Also, finale question (it just came to me) I was originally planning on just doing all of the books on here, this one story. That's why it doesn't say THIN PAGES PART I or VOLUME I or BOOK I or something like that. But would you rather it be split up? Or do you all really not gaf lol. Let me know!
Bleugh I hate hate HATE Author's Notes and this is a doozy. I wish I could avoid them all together, but alas, not everyone looks at the twitter and tumblr. Anyway, have a good rest of your weekend! See you in two weeks!