Kate pressed her call button and a few seconds later a nurse appeared. "Nice being treated like royalty", Kate thought.
"I'd like to speak to Dr Sinclair please" Kate typed.
"She's down in the ED, I'll let her know as soon as she's back" the nurse replied.
"Can I see my chart please" Kate typed.
"Um… You need to check with Dr Sinclair"
"Come on… please?" Kate typed and smiled.
"I'm not at liberty to give you the chart Dr Morgan"
"I'm a doctor"
"Right now, you're a patient"
Kate rolled her eyes dramatically.
"Why don't you try and get some rest, you look exhausted" said the nurse.
"I'm fine" Kate wrote looking annoyed.
Sax walked into the room a few minutes later.
"You rang your highness" Sax joked.
"Where were you?" Kate typed.
"Well, as part of the deal to get privileges to treat you lot I have to work in the ED a couple of hours every now and again to review their procedures. And to jump in every now and again when they're short a few hands"
"Oh. Sorry about that"
"Its fine, keeps me on my toes"
"When are you removing the trach?"
"Maybe tomorrow" answered Sax listening to Kate's chest.
"Today please" Kate wrote.
Sax sighed. "You're the patient, not the doctor Morgan"
"You know I'm ready!"
"I'll review your tests with the rest of the team and get back to you"
"Can I see my chart?"
"No"
"Why not, I have a right to see my chart"
"Kate just relax… take it easy. You don't want to see the chart"
"I do. I want to see the chart"
"Kate… listen" said Sax sitting down on the side of Kate's bed.
"I'll show you the chart once you're off the vent and we can talk about it. I'm not going to let you see it now"
"Why not?"
"Because… it may… floor you a bit. I don't want you upset"
Kate shook her head. "It's that bad?"
"Well… it's not pretty"
"OK. But I want to see it sometime"
"You will, promise. Now get some sleep alright. Those fingers need some rest from all the typing" Sax winked.
-0-
Sara woke up with her mom standing next to her bed.
"Hey… what's up" she mumbled.
"Hi, Sax called and said it's quiet in the unit. They have two other patients only and that they will both be in surgery this afternoon. So I brought Amelia for a little visit" Sonia smiled.
Sara's heart rate jumped up.
"Mom I don't know if… I mean… maybe we should wait for Kate's vent to be removed. I don't want to scare her if I don't remember her" said Sara fast, looking petrified.
"Sar… Kate will be there. It's okay" said Sonia.
"Kate won't be able to talk… I'm sure that will scare her"
"Let's see how she does. Kids are amazing. If she gets upset I'll take her away. It'll be okay Sar"
"I don't know Mom… I'm scared" said Sara softly.
"I'll be here sweetie, Kate will be here. If you want Tegan can be here"
"Can she talk Mom? Amelia?"
"Couple of words here and there but she won't have a conversation with you no. She babbles all the time though" Sonia smiled.
"Okay… I'll give it a go. But please take her when I say so Mom" said Sara.
"Of course Sar"
Sara turned to Kate who looked absolutely ecstatic. Somebody pushed their beds together again.
"It's okay" Kate mouthed and took Sara's hand.
Sonia carried the toddler over to Kate's side first. Sara hid behind a pillow but peeped out. She stared, her mouth open.
"Mama" the beautiful girl cried and put her arms out. Kate smiled.
"Amelia. Mom can't talk but you can sit here with her" said Sonia.
Amelia moved to kiss Kate on the cheek. Kate smiled. The tubes and wires didn't seem to register with Amelia at all. She lay down in her mom's arm.
"Mama" Amelia repeated softly and stroke Kate's chest.
The two of them just lay there for a good twenty minutes. Kate was nodding off sporadically. She still had her wonderful, warm, calming energy it seemed.
"You ready?" Sonia whispered to Sara. Sara nodded. She was petrified.
"Hey pumpkin, let's say hi to Mommy Sara" said Sonia and picked up the drowsy child.
Kate smiled and waved. Amelia was calm and smiled as she waved back.
Sonia slowly walked around the bed to put Amelia down next to Sara. Sara's monitor was beeping fast. She looked at the little girl. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She couldn't believe she was hers.
"Mommy" Amelia yelled when she saw Sara. Tears immediately fell down Sara's cheeks. She put her arms out. Amelia was all over her and kissed her. Sara couldn't remember her… but she felt love like she'd never felt before.
"Hi Amelia… hi. My beautiful little girl!" said Sara through her tears.
"Mommy" said Amelia again.
"She doesn't have much of a vocabulary yet" Sonia laughed.
"Hi Amelia"
"Mommy" said Amelia and lay down next to Sara.
Sara held the little child tight. There wasn't much talking. After a few minutes Sara was ready to completely break down. Kate sensed it and touched her arm softly.
"Take her Mom" Sara whispered.
"Mommy" Amelia said again, not wanting to leave.
Sonia picked her up anyway. "Mommyyy" Amelia yelled.
"Alright sweetie… we'll come visit again another day" said Sonia. Amelia was now throwing a proper tantrum. Legs stiff, screaming her head off and wriggling to get out of Sonia's grip.
Sara put her hands over her face and sobbed.
Sonia just walked out as fast as she could. Amelia was still wailing.
"Fuck… Fuck" Sara mumbled. Kate took her hand.
"I don't remember her… and now… look at her… she's so upset. Dammit… I knew that wasn't a good idea" said Sara.
Kate just held her hand tight. A minute later Sonia came back in.
"Hi, she's with Grandpa and Grandma Morgan. They're going for ice cream in the cafeteria. She's perfectly fine. She calmed down almost immediately when we were out of here" said Sonia rubbing Sara's thigh.
"I don't remember… I think I love her… but I don't remember" said Sara still in tears.
"It's okay… It's okay…. Shhhhh" said Sonia.
"Well, after all that drama I think we should put off taking you off the vent until tomorrow Kate" said Sax coming into the room.
Kate's face fell. She put her hands together in a pleading motion.
"Kate I don't know. You're tired. Let's hold off until morning"
Kate started typing fast and furious. "No. Please do it today. I won't let you down"
Sax sighed. "Well, you didn't even know it, but you went the entire night with your tube capped. You breathed fine on your own. I'll organise a respiratory therapist to get here. Get some rest. We'll do it in an hour or two alright." Sax knew this meant a night of babysitting but she couldn't say no to Kate. She wouldn't leave Kate's side the first twelve hours after she was off the vent. It was just too dangerous.
"Thank you" Kate mouthed.
Kate wished she had the strength to move closer to Sara but she was weak and in a reasonable amount of pain. She squeezed Sara's hand. Sara appreciated and enjoyed the contact. She didn't know this woman, she couldn't remember her. But she felt an emotional connection. Something just told her it's okay to let go with her.