Half an hour later Sax and Kate walked out of the treatment room. Sara, Erin and Alex were crying in a waiting room.
"How is she?" asked Sara jumping up as fast as her still recovering leg would allow her.
"She's… in shock Sara" said Kate sounding tired. She was much paler than usual.
"She's fine, she's going to be alright. Physically at least. Lungs have opened up fine. BP and pulse is back to a more normal level. She's obviously just extremely traumatised. She's still sedated, we'll probably keep her that way for a few hours" said Sax.
Kate felt wobbly and she sat down looking shaken up.
"Is it just that? Her lungs?" asked Sara.
"She had a few palpitations that had them running around but she's fine now sweetie" said Kate.
"You shouldn't be working, you look terrible" said Sara, worried about Kate.
"I'm okay. I wasn't working… I was… supervising"
"Get yourself checked out Kate. I'll ask Johnson to run a full blood count. You do look like shit"
"I'm fine, really" said Kate.
"You probably are, but let's keep it that way. We need you in one piece right now" said Sax.
"Okay" Kate nodded reluctantly. "When she wakes up we can't let her go home alone. We should stay with her… or… no… she should stay with us. I can't imagine going to bed in the same sheets as last night" said Kate.
"She'll probably want to… to smell her one last time" said Sara softly while staring out in front of her. She bowed her head and gave another large sob.
Sax turned her head when a middle aged man walked into the waiting room. "This is Dr Stevenson. He's the psychiatrist on call. He's of the opinion that we should admit Tegan and keep her sedated until tomorrow" said Sax, obvious disgust showing in her face.
"No no. She's coming home. Kate said she's fine physically. We'll take care of the rest. She won't be alone, she'll be with us" said Sara.
"Miss Quin, I think it would be better to keep her"
"Bob… we've had this discussion before. You didn't even see her when she was awake" said Sax through clenched teeth.
"If she required sedation she…"
"She required sedation because her lungs were closing up… if not for that we would have been able to calm her down" said Kate sounding annoyed.
"Dr Stevenson, I've contacted Violet Turner, Tegan's personal psychiatrist. She'll probably be here soon. You're dismissed" said Sara.
"You can't dismiss me"
"I can… I'm Tegan's medical proxy in the event that Lindsey…" Sara trailed off.
"Trust me, keeping Tegan in the hospital is the worst thing you can do. We need to get her out of here as soon as possible. I'll be with her all the time to monitor her. We've got this. Thanks for your assistance anyway" said Kate.
"Whatever you say Dr Morgan. I'm off the case then, don't call me in the middle of the night if you need help" said the man and turned around.
"Douche" Kate muttered.
"Fuck" whispered Sara and hugged Kate.
"When will she wake up?"
"Probably in an hour or so. You're welcome to go sit with her" said Sax.
Sara entered the room and choked up when she saw her sister looking small and defeated on the bed. She was still wearing her jeans and T-shirt but she was on a heart monitor, a nasal oxygen line and an IV.
"Damn it Kate… a heart monitor? Why's she on a heart monitor? You said she's okay" Sara cried.
"She is, it's just a precaution. We needed to monitor her cardiac rhythm for a while there. They'll remove the monitor soon sweetie. I promise. It's not a big deal" said Kate. She seemed to be taking more strain by the minute.
"How is she ever going to get over this Kate" asked Sara.
"She will… we'll help her. She'll get through this" said Kate softly and kissed Sara's cheek.
"Please go get checked out. You're white as a sheet and you're trembling. Please… Please, I need to know you're okay and if you're not that you're taken care of" Sara begged.
"Alright baby. I'll be right next door if you need me" said Kate reluctantly.
"Thanks my love. Go now, please"
-0-
A few minutes later Kate reluctantly got onto an exam table. "This is ridiculous" she sighed.
"Necessary nevertheless" said Sax.
"I just got a bit of an emotional shock Sax"
"And for somebody whose body is compromised like yours, it could manifest in a number of different physical ways"
"I do feel a bit shaky" said Kate lying back.
"Mmmm – BPs down the tubes, no wonder" said Sax after inflating the BP cuff around Kate's bicep.
"I can't be laid up in bed right now Sax"
"Just relax. Let me finish the exam at least" said Sax and listened to Kate's chest as a nurse took some blood.
"Lungs and heart sound okay. Your pulse is racing though, 138. I don't like it"
"I'm just stressed"
"Obviously"
"No fever, that's good"
"Told you I'm fine. I just had a hard PT session before all this"
"Kate, listen to me" said Sax and stopped what she was doing. She looked into Kate's eyes. "Sara needs you right now, she needs you to be okay. She's petrified, so is Tegan. Please let us just take care of you. Trust me, it's the best thing you can do right now"
"Shit" Kate mumbled and put her arm in front of her eyes.
"Dr Sinclair, bloods are back" said a nurse a few minutes later and Sax opened the app on her iPad.
"Well… no wonder you're feeling shaky. I'm surprised you're not down for the count" said Sax.
"What is it?" asked Kate.
"Blood count's terrible. I think we should transfuse you"
"No… come on Sax, I'm fine"
"May I remind you that you don't have a spleen anymore?"
Kate not having a spleen meant that she would be prone to infections and low blood counts since the spleen plays a very important part in the body's immune system and generation of red blood cells.
"All your vaccinations and immunisations are up to date and I assume you've been taking your medication as prescribed?"
"Of course, I'm not an idiot" Kate snapped.
"You're very lucky in that you're one of the 30% of people who have a second spleen but that's not working as well as we hoped yet" said Sax. Kate didn't answer.
Sax showed Kate the iPad.
"Still think you're fine?"
Kate looked at the screen, swallowed hard and her breathing increased.
"Oh… damn" said Kate softly.
"Kate, you lost a lot of blood in the accident and during surgery. It's going to take a few months to come back up. You know that. You've done very well not needing a transfusion after you've been discharged. You'll feel better after we get some blood and some fluids into you. You just need a bit of a bump. Hopefully you'll be just fine in a few hours"
"I can't be admitted Sax. They need me"
"I know, let me get the transfusion started then so you can get out of here"
"Alright… do it" said Kate.
"You're going to be fine. Hang in there"
"Baby? Oh my god, Kate!" said Sara rushing into the room a few minutes later. Kate lay propped up on some pillows, a bag of blood running into an IV line in her arm and a BP cuff around her other arm.
"I'm fine Sar, I'm fine!" said Kate fast.
"Oh sweetie!" said Sara touching Kate's pale face with both her hands.
"It's just a precaution Sara. They just need to get my blood volume up a bit, I'll be fine in an hour or so" said Kate.
"I spoke to Sax and she explained it. God I'm so scared" said Sara and started crying.
"I'm fine baby, I swear. This isn't a big deal" said Kate
"They're giving you a blood transfusion! It's a big deal! You can't get sick again!" said Sara close to tears.
"I know, I'm here for you. Don't worry, it's okay" said Kate and shivered.
"You cold sweetie?" asked Sara. Kate nodded. She still felt pretty crummy.
"They always make the ER like a fridge" said Kate.
"You just relax now, try and rest" said Sara and put a blanket over Kate. She pulled it up to her chin and kissed her on the cheek.
"How's Tegan?"
"Still out of it. They're expecting her to wake up in the next hour or so"
"Hopefully I'll be done with this by then"
"No Kate, you lie down please. Please baby just take care of yourself. I have Tegan"
"Sara…"
"Kate promise me you'll take care of yourself, I can't lose you… please" said Sara in tears again.
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Go, be with Tegan"
"I want to stay with you too, but Tegan… she can't be alone when she wakes up"
"I completely understand. Go be with Tegan. I'll be there as soon as Sax gives me the all clear"
"Take your time and rest please! I mean it. Close your eyes and rest!"
"I will. I love you"
"I love you so fucking much it hurts"
-0-
Sara sat with Tegan, just holding her hand for about an hour more before she started stirring. She grunted softly, sighed and opened her eyes.
"Hi Tee" said Sara softly.
"Sara… where am I? Hospital? Oh… thank god, it was only a dream. These meds make me cooky" said Tegan looking relieved and still a bit groggy.
Sara swallowed hard and shook her head.
"What?" Tegan asked flatly.
Sara didn't answer immediately.
"Where's Lindsey… call Lindsey… call her now!" said Tegan suddenly panicking.
"It wasn't a dream Tegan… she's gone" said Sara and wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand.
Tegan curled on her side and sobbed again.
"It's okay… I'm here" said Sara softly.
"I want to go now… please… can I go now?" asked Tegan when Kate and Sax came back into the room. Kate looked a bit better, she had a little colour back in her cheeks. Tegan ripped out the nasal cannula and started ripping off monitor leads.
"Tee… I'll do that" said Kate calmly and gently pushed Tegan back onto the pillow. She started removing electrodes one by one.
Tegan had her arm over her eyes and every now and then she took 'n sobbing, shuddering breath.
"I want to leave the IV line in Tegan. I'm just going to cap it for now. You're not keeping much down. We'll probably need to give you some hydration at home" said Kate.
"I don't care… I just want to get out of here" said Tegan.
Sara was stoking Tegan's arm up and down in a feeble attempt to soothe her. Truth was she needed that contact just as much as Tegan did.
"There we go. Let's get out of here" said Kate and smiled sadly.
Sara and Sax helped Tegan sit up. As soon as her feet hit the floor she wobbled, her legs felt like jello and her head spun. Kate patiently sat her down in a wheelchair. "Fastest way out bud. You're probably still whoozy from the sedation" she said.
Tegan didn't care… she just needed to get out of that room.
"I'll try and finish my shift a few hours early. Peters owes me a favour. I'll come by as soon as I'm done here" Sax said softly to Kate.
"Thanks" said Kate looking shaken up.
"Call me if you need me. And Kate, you take it easy please. Try and get some rest" said Sax. The scene in front of her just cut her up completely and she had to turn away in fear that somebody may see her tears.
"Yes ma'am" said Kate softly.
Tegan pulled her hoodie over her face and put her hand over her eyes.
"GO please" she said impatiently.
Apparently it was a good media day. Somewhere in town some other celeb was probably doing something crazy so there were no reporters in front of the hospital. Sara gave a sigh of relief. She held Kate's hand tighter, needing her anchor now more than ever.
"Where are the kids?" asked Tegan after she was helped into the car and Sara buckled her in.
"They're at our house. Alex and Erin went to pick them up" said Sara.
"Then we should go get them before I go home"
"Tegan, I think it would be good if you spent the night at our house" said Sara.
Tegan thought about walking into her house… their house… and knowing her wife was never walking through the doors again. She gave a sob and nodded. "Okay" she whispered. She needed somebody to help with the kids, just until she was calm again. Until her heart didn't feel as if it was being ripped out of her chest, until she could breathe again. She needed to get through this… for her kids if nothing else.
Tegan took a sip of water from the bottle Sara offered her earlier. Her throat was sore from all the wailing earlier. A few seconds later she felt a cold sweat break out over her forehead, her saliva suddenly thin. "Stop, stop the car… stop… throw up" said Tegan and desperately tried to roll the window down as Kate tried to pull over in a safe spot. The car stopped and Tegan opened the door just in time. The water she had earlier mixed with some stomach juices came back up. She couldn't stop and dry heaved a few more times leaning out of the door. Her shoulder was on fire. She didn't know if she fell on it or hurt it without knowing. Everything was so jumbled up. Kate was in front of her, outside the car the next second holding her head. "It's okay… we've got you. Just breathe…. Breathe" said Kate calmly. Tegan started crying again.
"Rinse your mouth" said Kate gently rubbing Tegan's arm up and down.
"Sorry" Tegan mumbled and sat back after rinsing her mouth.
"It's okay… nothing at all to be sorry for" said Sara rubbing Tegan's back. The muscles next to her spine were like rocks.
A car hooted behind them.
"Fuck you asshole" Tegan yelled and fell back against the seat.
Tegan started shivering, looking pale. Kate took the picnic blanket she usually left in the trunk out and placed it over Tegan.
"You'll feel better soon okay. I'll give you some anti-nausea meds and a bit of glucose to get your blood sugar up as soon as we get home" said Kate and got back behind the wheel. "Here you go… in case you need to throw up again" said Kate handing Tegan a paper bag.
Tegan tried to clear her mind as they drove the rest of the way to Sara and Kate's house. She opened her eyes just before they drove past her house and gave an involuntary sob when she saw their dream house.
"It's okay… It's okay" Sara kept repeating.
Kate opened the gate to their house with her remote and slowly pulled into the driveway.
"I can't see the kids like this" said Tegan to Sara.
"I know, don't worry about them. We'll take good care of them, I promise. Let's get you to bed"
"I'm okay" Tegan muttered.
"I know… but I want you to just take it easy for the rest of the day. You need some time to just work through this. I'll be there every minute if you want me to Tee" said Sara.
Tegan smiled trough her tears and squeezed Sara's hand. "I love you Sara" she said.
"Love you more" Sara smiled.
A/N: Sorry I left you hanging a while. Was away for the weekend. Poor Tegan, at least they let her out of the hospital. Please send more feedback, I love reading your messages.