Nowhere, Middle of
Eulogy
Face had never taken a road trip before. He'd never really thought about what it would be like to drive from one end of the country to the other. It gave him a lot of time to think. Too much time, really. New York City to Las Vegas was one hell of a long trip.
It had been two weeks since they had escaped from Fort Bragg, and two days since the decision that splitting up would be the safer way to go. Face had left them in the motel while they slept, without so much as a goodbye. They would be okay. At least, Face hoped they'd be okay. BA had family in Chicago, and probably down in Georgia, too. Hannibal had no one that Face know of. Five years of living with him in close quarters and Face had never heard him say word one about his family. It never occurred to him to ask. But even if he was completely alone now, Face was sure he'd get along just fine. He'd never been the type to need people.
Funny to think he had actually been worried about Face.
The sun set a couple of hours ago. Face had at least another four or five before it even thought about coming up again. It would be a slow sunrise - not like in Vietnam. In 'Nam, it went from night to day in a matter of minutes. It would catch you off guard if you weren't careful. It was a good way to get shot - not paying attention.
He couldn't think about that now.
The gas tank was almost empty. He'd have to pull off soon and find a gas station. Easier said than done out here. All he saw in front of him was road, disappearing into blackness where the headlights couldn't reach. The occasional semi truck coming the other way was blinding. On either side of him it was black. The moon was hidden behind thick clouds. He wished he could see the stars. He'd heard there were more of them than he could imagine, but he'd never seen them through the smoggy haze of Los Angeles. And he couldn't see them through three tiers of jungle, either.
He couldn't think about that right now.
There was nothing to see out here. No gas station, either. He wondered if he'd make it to the next one. If not, it would be a long walk. Hopefully he'd make it back to the car before the police. If anyone happened to run the plates on the car he was driving, they would probably find out it was stolen. Oh well. He'd deal with that when the time came.
Road sign up ahead. Airport nearby. He could see the runway lights up ahead, and the beacons. He wondered where Murdock was right now. No, he knew where he was. At least, he had a pretty good idea. It didn't matter. He didn't want to know. There wasn't a damn thing he could do about it and besides, he couldn't think about that right now.
This road trip began a new life. He hadn't quite decided yet what that life was going to look like, but he knew what it was not going to look like. It was not going to be anything like the life he'd left behind - either of them. The orphaned child - starved for affection and approval, desperate for attention - had died years ago. The soldier had found his end in the killing fields. Face had always been good at cutting things off. Starting over again. It was a simple fact of life that nothing lasted forever. Survival was by choice, not by chance. What needed to happen, he would make happen. Right now, he needed a new start. And he would find it.
There was a line of orange lights on the horizon. Must be a city up there. He hadn't been paying enough attention to know what city it would be. Hell, he didn't even know what state he was in anymore. He must have fallen asleep about fifty miles back or so and lost track of where he was. Maybe it was further back than that. It was hard to tell. He'd been driving for over twenty-four hours now.
He wondered if BA ever made it to Chicago.
He couldn't think about that. That was a former life. He would shed no tears if the memories died with it. He'd run to the Army looking for a lot of things - stability, family, loyalty, pride. Some he'd found and some he hadn't. When it came down to those last few moments - betrayed and handcuffed, rejected and told to find his own way - there was really nothing worth retaining. He was past the point of caring about any of it. A former life, better off forgotten.
Las Vegas, Nevada - city of sin, and his own personal city of opportunity. He knew how to play that game. Sin was one thing he'd always been really good at – lying, manipulation, getting what he wanted. He was pretty good at poker too. He'd have to see how that played out. One way or another it was a very anonymous place. A good place to start over, to become someone new.
He was going to stop smoking. He'd decided that. Maybe he'd switch to those god awful cigars Hannibal had. Sort of a memento to him. But not really. That was another life. He didn't even remember it anymore. He was someone else completely, then. He wasn't really sure exactly who he was now, but he'd figure it out. Mostly it would depend on what Vegas had to offer him, and what she wanted from him. There were advantages to being able to fit in anywhere. If she was kind to him, he would be kind to her.
He knew one thing for damn sure. He wanted a nice car. This piece of shit he was driving right now wasn't going to work for him. When he was situated, he didn't care where he lived, or what kind of furniture he had. But he wanted a nice car. Maybe a bright red 53 Cadillac convertible…
No, he couldn't think about that either.
The sun was coming up. Had it really been another four hours? He wondered how many miles he had left to go. He should probably check. He must have filled the gas tank somewhere back there while he was asleep. He couldn't imagine he would've gone so far on an empty tank.
Everything was a blur. Past, present, and future. Memories and plans mixed and mingled in the exhaustion of not having slept in a very long time. He would get to where he was going. And after this night was over, he would wake up someone completely and totally different. After this night, he would face the world as a new person.
Tonight, he gave his formal eulogy to the lives left behind.