Chapter 6: The Friend of the Female Bandicoot
I woke up in a city in ruins.
Slowly lifting my face off of the dusty concrete floor, I could just make out the shape of a giant, golden, Mayan-like pyramid that looked strangely out of place amongst what looked like the bombed remains of New-York Time Square.
Following the flowing red carpet up the steps of the temple, I could just make out the outlines of stern looking animal soldiers with AK-47s strapped to their backs as they surrounded each level of the temple, staring off into the crowd as if each of them were stern looking strawberries of a rustic golden cake. After rubbing my eyes, I could now clearly see the face of the general, his content smiling face not just on display at the top of the temple, but on the giant television screen above him.
To his right, you could see a shirtless George Bush, and to his left, a shirtless John Major, both fanning the smiling orange creature with giant Egyptian style fans as the general, himself, smiled and waved at me.
Looking around I had noticed half of the buildings in the city had blown up, with what appeared to be countless other animal soldiers of every single type, even beyond those found in Australia, standing in long neat rows, as if awaiting for a speech.
As a terrified Akbar Rafsanjani brushed past me, holding a tray of what appeared to be two glasses of pink lemonade, my eyes once again focused on the general as Akbar made his way up the steps. The general then took one of the lemonades, patting Akbar on the head, and then proceeded to motion me to join him with one curled up index finger.
I was hesitant at first, even backing up to run away in fear that he was just going to knock knock knock on my head again, but then two of the animal soldiers, I think one was a green kangaroo and one a purple gorilla, escorted me up those steps to another throne right behind John Major.
Sitting down on my throne, I had the chance to see the massive scope of the crowd, with animal soldiers as far as the eye can see. Each one of them stone faced and looking forward, as if ready to attack at any given command.
The general then stood up, urging the rest of the army to look upon their leader as he began to make his speech. Grabbing a microphone given to him by former vice president Dan Quayle, he cleared his throat, the brief wine of the microphone dissipating as the general cleared his throat.
He takes in a deep breath, lips just meters away from the black ball…
and begins to speak….
"SCRAW! Scraw, scraw, scraw"!
(...)
I immediately woke up with the sound of flapping wings, as a one of the island's local macaws hurriedly flew back toward its shelter.
Willing my eyes to open up, I could just make out two shadowy blobs, one just a foot or two apart from the other one. Noticing how those black blobs had long bases at the bottom, with long lines coming from those bases, I then willed my head to look up further as to who was the true owner of these legs, only to feel a sharp pinch at the back of my neck.
"Uh…that…was… some fall you had their.", an uneasy tenor voice from the shadowy figure said, "Can…you…move anything…at all"?
Only understanding the word "move", I then tried to stretch my arm forward, luckily that did not hurt. I then tried to get myself back up, only for the pain in my neck to shoot all the way down my spine, and then to my tail, causing me to collapse again on the cool sandy floor.
Looking up again, I saw a strange circular object with a spout on top being lowered into my line of sight. Recalling a faint memory from the Vortex that this specific object contained water, I instinctively raised my head, trying desperately to fight through the pain as I opened my mouth to let the canteen's water flow down my throat.
All of a sudden I then heard a buzzing sound coming from the figure. The canteen then was pulled away from me and placed right beside my head as the figure walked a couple of feet and pulled out a device that looked similar to the ones being used by the doctors back at the castle. Probably seeing that device and thinking that he was part of the army, I then willed my arms to pull me through the sand to where he was standing.
"Listen, I know I broke protocol…", the figure spoke into the device as I crawled, "...but someone had to find him, and I was the first one who had noticed him riding off in one of the boats...".
Noticing the increased amount of sunlight, probably from an opening in the canopy above him, I could see much more of the figure that I had before. He had two muscular legs attached to filthy beige cargo shorts. Willing my head upwards to see the rest of the body, I had noticed that those legs had belonged to a large muscular man, a real Brawny man type, though much younger looking. He was decked out in a buttoned down shirt the same color as his shorts, his similarly muscular hands holding the device close to his square head as his hazel eyes looked off into the distance.
For some reason, I had called him Fabio.
Suddenly, the man looked down to where I was slumped on the floor as an angry muffled voice kept on shouting from the device into his ear. As the shouting continued, he then gave me an expression of pure confusion, as well as intrigue.
"Okay, okay, I'll make it back before noon…we…we…promise it will never happen again...you have my word sir, bye".
Clipping the device to his belt, he then sat in front of me, a bit of the sun reflecting off of his brunet hair as he stared quizzically into my eyes.
"Fabio?", he questioned, "As in…Fabio Lanzoni Fabio"?
Looking back at him with equal intrigue, I managed to reply, with a still strained throat, "Yeah…your name…Fabio".
He then stared at me some more, then began to cover his face with one of his hands, which I remember taking as a sign that he was either ashamed or annoyed at me.
"I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry.", I told him with as much strength as I can muster, "Did..did I offend Fabio"?
And then a slight cough erupted in his throat, followed by a couple more coughs. Pretty soon his coughs turned into a chuckle, and then into laughter as he started to collapse on the floor, fists punching the sand like a spoiled brat wanting a candy bar at the check-out counter.
"Lady…whatever you are", he wheezed as he picked himself off of the floor, "I may be handsome, but I ain't no Fabio Lanzoni"!
Looking up a picture of the Fab man right now on the internet, I was not sure why I had kept on calling him that. Sure, both men had physical builds that could theoretically cause an entire country's worth of women to swoon at the just the near sight of them, but this guy's face was way more younger and pudgier than the real guy, much less the fact that Fabio's hair was long and flowing while this guy's hair was a buzz cut. I think the reason for this connection was that I had heard this name in the Vortex from some talk show or something, and my brain had then connected this name to any sort of "hunky man". By that logic, I would have probably called the general that name if Cortex was not there to correct me.
Noticing how his laughter had only increased by the minute, a sign that I learned from the Cortex Vortex that meant he was slowly going insane, I then got up on my knees, shuffled forward until I was about inches from his body, and then slapped him across the face, both causing him to tumble back on the floor, and causing me to collapse on the ground as the pain regained its place on my back.
"Ow! What was that for!", he shouted as he rubbed the red paw print I had left behind on his cheek.
"Get a hold of self Fabio!", I replied in a raspy voice, "Breath deep! Breath deep"!
Despite the sudden spontaneity of the request, he then shrugged and then began to breath deep, his complexion becoming calmer after each exhale. He then began to stand up, his facial expression returning to a more perplexed state as he stared at me spread out on the floor. He had then tried to lend me a helping hand, to which I then batted away.
"I can take care of self, Fabio.", I told him through the pain, my hands still rubbing my back.
"Listen…Lady", he continued, "I'd say from the fall you had last night, that I doubt you are anything but okay".
He then lowered his hand again, the pain, this time, preventing me from attacking it.
"If you are able…I would like to take you back to my base so we can get you all taken care of. I…might have a friend who may be able to help you".
Maybe it was the way the sun had shone on his face at that moment, but just then, I had saw a bit of N-Brio in him, the way his face was full of concern for my well-being and what not. I then grabbed a hold of his hand, and then he proceeded to pull me back onto my feet, more pain shooting through my back as I began to stand again.
After a while, the pain did subside, and I felt fine. But as I started to tip over, I had realized that the belt device that I had worn before was gone. Before my plunge, Fabio then dove in and put his arm around my shoulder in much the same way N Brio did during my first walk.
"If you are looking for those spider legs of yours…", Fabio mentioned as I began feel around for the non-existent belt, "I had to remove them last night. From where I was positioned, they…appeared to be attacking your legs".
"I need it.", I told him hoarsely, my head jerking upwards to meet his gaze, "Can I have it"?
Shrugging with his free shoulder, we both walked toward a clearing through the trees toward a lone camp site, composed of a simple green tent and a wood fueled fire with frying pan on top of it. As I noticed the belt beside the tent, a wonderful smell then hit my nose, causing my stomach to growl.
"Oh…uh", Fabio stammered, his cheeks beginning to blush, "I...never stopped to think about preparing a meal for two people". If you want, you can help yourself to some granola bars in my tent while I go prepare another helping of bacon and eggs".
At the word "Granola", my one free arm immediately tried to reach for one of the sides of the tent. Unzipping the front entrance, Fabio then reached in and retrieved a giant beige-yellow backpack. After unzipping one of the side pockets, and retrieving two bars, I then grabbed them out of his hands, and then proceeded to stuff my face, only realizing seconds later that I had forgotten to actually open them.
"Uh…Your welcome?", Fabio said I began to cough up bits of shiny plastic.
(…)
As we ate our bacon and eggs, we were left to both look at each other once again. Even though we were more used to seeing each other by now, I still felt Fabio stair at me in that same quizzical fashion he had given me before, except this time, he was a lot more willing to talk.
"So, uh…you live around here?", Fabio questioned.
Taking another bite of bacon, I shook my head. "No…from Cortex Castle".
His eyes then went wide for a split moment, "Uh…don't you mean Eyeswide's castle"?
Swallowing, I explained to him, in very broken English, everything that N-Brio had told me up to that point, how the castle had once been owned by Dr. Eyeswide, but since his prison sentence, Dr. Cortex and Dr. N-Brio had now taken up residence, and are now trying to construct an army of super animal soldiers to bring about a new world order.
"New world order?", Fabio said, his voice cracking at the word, "order".
"Yeah, new world order.", I said, swallowing another mouthful of egg, "Poverty everywhere, inequality lining streets, people are judged based on looks…children forced to work in family professions, the world needs fixing".
His face then went pale as the obvious had just dawned on him, "Let me guess…", he said slowly, panic creeping into his voice, "…you...you're one of those soldiers, are you"?
"Mate of general.", I corrected with a nod of my head.
At the mention of the word "general", all the color then drained from his face. As if that word were too much to bear, he then laid his back on the nearest tree while he continued to poke his egg with his fork.
"Fabio?", I questioned while putting my plate down, "You need a deep breath Fabio? Are you okay"?
"No no", Fabio replied, voice high pitched and squeaky, "I'm fine, what person wouldn't be when they just heard they are now helping someone who will one day destroy society as we know it"?
Not knowing what sarcasm was, I then continued eating, only for Fabio to speak up.
"You know, there are other ways to solve all of those problems you just mentioned…the poverty, the inequality...without a military uprising".
Though I was only able to comprehend certain words he said, my eyes came up from my plate of eggs to meet his.
"For example, the US army already delivers necessary materials to those in need, and there is the Salvation Army that helps with all sorts of social problems. Not to mention the countless social movements going on right now for causes of social and ethnic equality".
I nodded, though I was still confused.
"The point is, there are ways to solve these issues without using violence. Is…Is there a way I can speak with this general, or this Dr. Cortex guy, to...maybe change some minds".
I shrugged, "Maybe, I need find General Napoleon first though before return. That was mission of mine".
"Well is there any idea where this general Napoleon might be"?
As soon as he said that, he then stared dead eyed at his silver wristwatch, causing his face to become more pale than before.
"Ah sh** we need to go.", Fabio stated under his breath before grabbing my arm and pulling me to my feet.
In a matter so quick that it almost felt like it never happened at all, we had put out the fire and packed all of the necessary supplies, including my belt, into his back pack, before heading to a dock where a small white boat was situated. After Fabio pulled the chord to ignite the engine, we then sped off into the wild blue yonder, giving me ample opportunity to stare at the majestic blue that surrounded us.
For a while, I just sat there, imagining my self-flying through the air as I did so long before, the speed at which we were traveling only aiding in my daydream.
"Hey uh…I just realized!", Fabio asked over the sound of the speeding motor, "I never quite caught your name"!
"Name?!", I replied at a louder volume, "Name Tawna! Tawna Bandicoot"!
"Nice to meet you Donna...names Aiden by the way...not Fabio"!
Baffled I replied, "No Fabi...Aiden, name is Taw-na, not Dawn-na"!
"That's what I said, Dawn-Na"!
It was at this point, that I just gave up and proceeded to stare down at the water, only this time, Aiden's words had replaced my daydreams.
Though we were each given reasons for why global conquest needed to happen, nothing from what I have seen up to that point had told me that it needed to be done in such a destructive way. If the dream I had earlier was any indication of Cortex's vision if it was ever carried out, (which come to think of it, may be accurate now that I can recall seeing images like that in the Vortex), I would have to wonder whether this vision of a new world would truly work when parts of it are turned to ruble. Granted, my thoughts on the subject probably did not extend beyond "Broken building not equal good?", but that whole reflection on the boat was something to think about none the same.
We then reached came to our destination, (the second island from Crash one in case you were curious). Outside of the obvious volcano and luscious greens of the jungle, the first thing that caught my attention was a skinny man waving his arms by the dock as Aiden parked the boat at its end.
"Aiden dude, you are not going to believe what I found while poking around Eyeswide's castle last night"!, the skinny man said as he ran to greet his friend.
"Rat!", Aiden shouted angrily as he got out and tied one of the ropes to a long pole near the dock, "I've been looking all over for you all night! You know Dr. Reginald expects us all back at camp by the end of 11:30 each day"!
"I know I broke protocol...", Rat replied, "...but you know I've been looking forward to seeing the famous Eyeswide castle since the beginning of this expedition. Plus, you are not going to believe what I found. You see last night, when I finally found the tower, I had decided to use my boat to see what it was like under the bridge, don't ask me why I did this. All of a sudden, I hear some noises from above me, and before I could even think, this thing fell through and nearly sunk the boat. Aiden, if I did not pee myself then, wait until you hear that this thing was actually alive. It had large green eyes that stared at me through the darkness, and it had a mouth nearly large enough that it could swallow you whole. Aiden, I swear to God that before the thought of screaming and swimming away even popped into my head, the monster had beat me to the punch, and guess what, he appeared to be drowning...".
Sensing that my feet had fallen asleep, I then tried to use my arms to crawl out of the boat, a process more stressful and cumbersome than expected given the lack of balancing weight provided by Aiden.
"...After I fished him out, the both of us then went back to camp where I then gave him some of my extra clothes to wear while I explained my situation to the doctor. Aiden, imagine if we were to share this discovery with National Geographic or something. I can picture the headlines now, 'Archeologists Find New Beast of Wumpa Islands, we could be famous, our names will be passed down for generations to come, we could…".
At that exact moment, I had fully managed to get myself out of the boat, which had involved me practically kicking the boat itself in order to give me a boost up alerting Aiden's friend's attention in the process.
If I could recall any image from that day, in vivid detail, it would have to be the look on Rat's face as I sat there to catch my breath. The way he stood there, bug eyed, mouth opened and twitching, like an amusement park robot with a with a wonky jaw. His entire being shaking as if he saw actual proof that aliens exist, let alone an, (let's not kid ourselves here), attractive female alien whose one pant leg had ripped by the side of the boat, showing off one of her gorgeous, orange furred legs.
"Holy f***ing sh**!, Rat shouted to his friend, almost inaudibly, you found one too".
[Authors note (Breaking Character here): Where have I been]
[A couple of things actually. During the beginning of October, I had to devote most of my available time to modifying this other story I was working on to so that it can be accepted in my school's annual zine, and for the rest of October I had to devote a lot of my time toward finishing projects and studying for finals. As of this date moving forward, I will have more time to devote to this story, and should be able to finish a chapter every either once or twice a month. I wanted to thank you all for your patience, and your support for this story, and I will be glad to publish more going forward.
And another thing, I am aware that the flash back tapes in Crash Bandicoot 4 already give you a canonical backstory for Crash and Coco before their escapes from Cortex castle, but since I do not have that game yet, (and do not want to spoil myself), I am going to proceed to use the backstories I had already planned out for this story.
Happy Late Thanksgiving, and Happy Early Holidays].