Ch3

She shouted, but no sound came forth. She clawed for something- anything to grasp onto and stop her fall, but there was nothing. All she could feel was the monster's firm and painful grasp on her shoulders, and the deranged sadistic laughter which came from her crooked smile.

Darkness. Tangible and never ending darkness. It was a sight and state of being familiar to her after her confinement to an asylum and the coronation of her brother, Zuko. She felt feelings of dread, of anger, and of helplessness.

This was the source of her sense of fear.

The monstrous reflection of herself, who was previously in front of her face, had disappeared leaving her truly alone. Not even the monster would remain with her.

She lost the feeling of falling. Was it just terminal velocity? Azula felt suspended, a feeling of weightlessness cast itself upon her. Falling or floating, she could no longer distinguish the two.

"A failure. A disgraceful failure," a strong and raspy voice called out from the void. The voice of her father, Fire Lord Ozai. "To think I trusted you with so much. To think I anointed you Fire Lord," he insulted. "A task I now realize was too much to entrust to you. Boy was I mistaken," he laughed, still maintaining an obviously angered and disappointed tone despite.

Azula frantically looked around, her eyes widened with genuine concern. Fear setting in. "I'm sorry, father! I have disgraced you! But please, I'll redeem myself!"

"Azula, silence yourself," he scolded. Those words, so familiar, stung just as much now as it did the first time. She held her tongue. Even now, he still commanded respect and following from her. "You had your chance. An opportunity to prove yourself! I gave you the power you so desperately tried to vouch for, and you gave it up. You gave up the throne to that failure of a brother. He of all people took it from you! Now I realize, you are both the same. Disgraceful failures."

She grinded her teeth and furrowed her brow. His words constricted her throat and wrung her heart. She had an inkling before, but hearing this from her father directly hurt even further. He had, now directly, cast her aside and discarded her.

"You will look this tremendous failure of yours over and over again for eternity! And suffering will be your guide!" Ozai's voice boomed from the dark, now trailing off and dissipating. She never saw him, but she could tell he had left her.

"No lightning today?" It was now Zuko's voice, taunting her. Reminding her. "Afraid I'll redirect it?!"

Even her brother was taking his swing at tormenting her.

"She's crazy and she needs to go down," the voice of her uncle stated. Crazy? Me? I'll take you down!

"What is wrong with that child?" Ursa's voice commented.

"I love Zuko, more than I fear you." This time it was both Mai's and her mother's voice saying that accursed phrase.

"OH, I'LL SHOW YOU LIGHTNING!" her own voice screamed through the pitch blackness.

Azula seemed to slowly descend into a blurry and corrupted scene. Below her a floor and a faint dim glow came into view. She could recognize it as the crystal catacombs below Ba Sing Se. Her descent slowly came to a halt a few dozen feet above the stone ground, leaving her in steady hover. She was suspended in flight, above the pavement somehow without fire being blast beneath her feet; her own idea of what air bending would be like.

Beneath her, the incomplete scene stretched out in a limited space before her. The edges of the small scene transitioned into blackness, as if looking at an incomplete painting. There were many things off from her memory. The scene was twisted. The crystals, which glowed green, now illuminated a darkened red casting its glow and coloring the scene in a sinister way. The rivers and bodies of water, instead of being pristine spring water, were a blood red. Before her across the limited stone floor were various figures and characters, in her memory were engaged in a fierce fight, but now were still; frozen in time. She could make out the robes of her Dai Li agents, green in reality, but their robes in this light appeared to be of a deep black. She couldn't make out their faces, shadowed beneath the brim of their earth kingdom conical helmets. The Avatar's team were nowhere to be seen. No boomerang throwing oaf, no water tribe witch, no freakish force of nature earthbender, no bald headed monk.

No Avatar? Wait a minute. Azula looked down and about her, now realizing where she was positioned in this scene. It wasn't her own perspective she was watching from.

She spun about rapidly. She could see none other than herself, dressed in her Fire Nation armor instead of her Earth Kingdom robes of the time. She watched herself move her arms in a foreshadowing and menacingly familiar circular motion. The volts of electricity, forming and crackling at her fingertips, as she flowed through the emotions. The crack of thunder pounded against her eardrums as the bolt was charged.

"No," she desperately tried to say. "Stop, please!" She did not pick up that this was the first time she ever begged. Her voice did not leave her mouth as she tried to call forth to herself.

Her, now primed and ready to fire, self held her joined fingers near her face, her other hand behind her back, like a dueler holding his pistol at the ready. A sadistic and satisfied smirk formed across her lips. She knew this look all too well. The readied charge of lightning was the only non-red color present.

She clamped her eyes shut, hopeless. It was another situation where she could do nothing. Air rushed through her open mouth, but no scream was carried by it. She heard the crack of lightning, knowing the bolt was fired.

The lethal shot struck her. Direct hit. She felt the excruciating pain of the life being speared from her. This was it.

It was over.

Her eyes shot wide open. She felt the bolt of lightning- at least she imagined she did, just for a moment. She yelped as it struck her. Azula recoiled back from her seated tucked position she had fallen asleep in. She flew back, landing firmly on her rear and back a considerable distance from the fire pit which now contained the ashes of the burned wood. It had been hours since the fire had gone out.

Her breathing was rapid and shallow, she was hyperventilating. She grabbed a hold of her blouse, her face, and her arms, just to assure herself she was still there. Thank Agni she was alone. Never would she allow herself to be seen like this, in this state of being. Even she would be embarrassed by herself if she saw herself like this. Disgraceful. But the thought didn't cross her mind.

Slowly, her breathing rate returned to a calmer rhythm. But it didn't settle to where it normally would have been. She wouldn't be as calm as she was before. She was on edge.

Azula sat up, recollecting herself. She was still in the isolation and emptiness of this mythical swamp. She realized the gravity of her situation, and how exposed and vulnerable she was. From the darkness, any number of things could be watching her. Figures seemed to move among what she assumed was the treeline. She could swear she was hearing faint whispers, when there was no one. The feeling of the damp dirt below her was a sense of comfort, literally grounding her in reality. Here she could defend herself. She was a force to be reckoned with. Nothing could harm her here, she reassured herself. She had her own space of force projection, a safe space of sorts, where anything that went within that boundary could and would be incinerated. Come what may. "Try me," she thought.

Despite the sharp pain in her sides, she laid down on the firm ground. Curling up into a small ball, tucking her legs and hugging her knees to her chest as she lay on her side. It was the early hours of the morning, the middle of the night. And it was cold. Her breath could be felt forming mist as she exhaled. Her breathing was shallow, labored, arrhythmic, and hurt. She focused on the warmth from within, a natural source of heat for her as a firebender. She recalled her former 'masters' and her uncle, Iroh, repeating over and over the importance of the breath of fire, and the inner warmth of a fire bender, much to her annoyance at its redundancy, as a kid and early teen. She wished, now more than ever, that she had listened and actually made more of an effort to practice it.

Azula closed her eyes, trying to get at least a few more moments of rest. Essentially she slept with one eye open, keeping a vigilant awareness of her surroundings despite her eyes being closed. Never again would she allow herself to be assaulted by whatever this forest and her mind would throw upon her.

The former princess shuddered in her sleep. She rested uneasily.