Tegan woke up a couple of hours later calmer than she expected to be. She looked over at the kids who were both busy with some colouring books and didn't even notice her. She turned her head the other way and saw Cameron sleeping soundly with her mouth hanging open and drool running down her cheek. Tegan actually laughed softly.
Cameron woke up as Tegan put her seat back up.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep" said Tegan.
Cameron yawned and stretched. "Nah, I'm good. That was a looong nap" she said and wiped the drool from her cheek with her hand.
"Did you get some rest?" asked Cam.
"I did actually… miraculously" Tegan smiled.
"That's great, I'm glad" said Cam, softly smiling.
For the first time Tegan noticed that Cameron looked really tired, the shadows under her eyes suddenly seemed more pronounced.
"How's work been going? Jumped down any rock faces recently?" asked Tegan to make conversation.
"Um… I'm on a bit of a… sabbatical if you would"
"Oh… I can imagine that kind of work is very stressful and you'd need a break every now and then"
"Yeah… not that though but… um… I really don't want to talk about it if that's okay" said Cam suddenly looking pale, she subconsciously rubbed her ear.
"Of course, I'm sorry" said Tegan looking away.
Conversation was a bit slow to start from there, but half an hour later Tegan and Cameron were talking like they've known each other for years. Cameron kept Tegan talking, everything from their favourite childhood memories to their jobs. The kids even joined them for a while, each on a lap.
"They're really cute" said Cam after Beth and Nicky took the kids away.
"Thank you. Do you want kids one day?" asked Tegan.
"I think so, yes. I've always loved kids. Usually like hanging out with them more than with the adults" Cam laughed.
"Jee thanks" said Tegan sarcastically and smiled rolling her eyes.
"Usually, not always" Cam blushed. "Anyway, nothing like that anywhere on the horizon so I guess I don't have to think about that right now"
"Comes without you ever expecting it you know… love" said Tegan almost introspectively.
Cameron just smiled briefly and nodded.
Tegan noticed that in addition to looking tired, Cameron also looked thinner than she remembered her but she had a complete different energy to her than the day she came to the barbeque at Sara's house. That day she seemed anxious, on edge and emotional. She looked pale and nervous. Today she looked happy and completely calm. Just being around her made Tegan feel more relaxed.
"You look good. Last time I saw you, you looked kind of…. on edge and under the weather" said Tegan.
"Well so did you" Cameron laughed raising an eyebrow, but it wasn't a heartfelt laugh this time.
"Sorry, I didn't mean it as an insult or anything. I just wanted to say that you look really happy right now"
"I am. In a lot of ways. And I'm trying to get there in others" Cam shrugged.
Tegan exhaled slowly and looked the other way.
"Hey… it's going to be alright. You'll get through this, I promise" said Cameron and squeezed Tegan's hand as if reading her mind.
"You speak as if you have experience?" said Tegan turning back to Cam.
"Something like that" said Cam. She swallowed hard and looked out of the window.
"I'm sorry" said Tegan touching Cam's arm.
"It's okay, nothing to be sorry about" Cam smiled half-heartedly.
Tegan and Cameron sat wordlessly for a few minutes. Tegan rubbed her forehead thinking. Maybe she was wrong, maybe Cameron isn't as happy, calm and collected as she thought. She had the sudden overwhelming urge to protect her and take the sadness that she just heard in her voice away. She snorted a laugh. Yeah right, as if Cameron would ever need protection. Tegan didn't even realise that for a few minutes she completely forgot about her own misery.
Cameron looked at her watch and just about jumped out of her seat.
"Excuse me, I need the ladies room" she said and pushed past Tegan. "Shit" she mumbled as she jogged back to economy class for her bag. She grabbed it from the overhead bin and raced to the nearest toilet. Her hands shook as she opened the pill container. She quickly re-checked the pre counted pills in the container and threw half of them down her throat and flushed them down with some water. A minute later all the pills were in.
"Stupid… one o'clock is one o'clock Cameron" she mumbled to herself shaking her head, mad that she was almost an hour late with her medication. She was usually extremely diligent, especially with the anti-rejection medication. She knew that an hour earlier or later wouldn't make a difference but she mentally scolded herself anyway before catching her breath and walking back out to first class calmly.
"Everything okay? You jumped out of here like a bat out of hell" said Tegan laughing.
"That curry I had for lunch just caught up on me" Cam lied rubbing her belly.
"Oh… Nasty" Tegan mumbled under her breath and pretended to read. "Sure you're okay? You look a bit pale" she said looking up at Cam.
"Perfectly fine thanks" Cam smiled and put her head back against the plush leather.
-0-
"Ladies and gentlemen, we will be preparing for our decent to Logan international airport in a few minutes" the overhead speakers blared half an hour later informing passengers to pack away their electronics, return to their seats and buckle up. Tegan had been buckled up tightly the whole flight.
"Thank you for keeping me entertained… and for keeping me calm. I enjoyed your company" said Tegan sincerely.
"Glad I could help Tegan. I enjoyed it too"
"Maybe… when you get to Provincetown in a few days you can come say hi? Maybe we can take the kids for ice cream or something. I mean, only if you have time, I know you'll be busy with your family and all and…" Tegan blabbered.
"I'd love to, maybe I can bring Reese and Tory's two kids. We can do a playdate. Their moms will be working most of the time anyway. Grandma can probably use a break" Cameron smiled warmly.
"Sounds great, kids are probably going to be bored out of their minds with only me around"
"I doubt that. Anyway, I should be there by Friday. Do you want to give me your number and I'll call you?" said Cameron.
Cameron and Tegan exchanged numbers as the plane started descending.
When Tegan realised what was going on she clutched the seat handles so tightly her knuckles were white, every muscle in her body tensed up. "Here we go" she mumbled. She closed her eyes trying to normalise her breathing. She didn't want to look out of the window and see the ground approaching… Fuck… The ground approaching…
Suddenly Tegan was shaking and wheezing again.
"It's okay, you're safe. Everything's fine" said Cam slowly and calmly. She took Tegan's hand and squeezed it. Tegan exhaled slowly before taking a puff from her inhaler.
"It's alright, just breathe. It's okay… go to your happy place Tegan" she heard Cam's voice as if in the distance. "Go to your happy place baby" she suddenly heard Lindsey's voice and pictured her face so clearly she could almost touch it.
"Lindsey" Tegan whispered with her eyes still closed, her hand lifted off her lap as if reaching for something.
Cameron tried to swallow tears away as she looked at Tegan's pained expression and could almost touch the sadness and longing in her whispers. She wiped her cheeks with the back of her sweater and looked away to give Tegan some privacy.
-0-
"We've landed Tegan. You did it" said Cameron softly after looking at Tegan's pale face with eyes closed for half a minute.
"It's over?" asked Tegan almost surprised.
"Yeah, all over"
"Sorry, I don't know where I went just now" said Tegan blushing.
"You went where you needed to go to get through this. You did great Tegan. Don't over analyse it" said Cam and patted Tegan's thigh. Tegan suddenly became aware of the sudden difference in Cam's touch. The warmth and safety wasn't there?
"Everything okay?" asked Tegan as Cam stood up.
"Sure, yeah. I just need to get back to economy class to go get my stuff. I'll see you around Tegan. Have a good holiday"
"Thanks, you too… bye" said Tegan softly staring after Cameron as she made her way to the back of the plane.
-0-
"Babe just sit down and take it easy please. Your leg is clearly bothering you today" said Kate making tea in the kitchen.
"You think they're there yet?" asked Sara, ignoring Kate's plea.
"Probably. Why don't you call her" said Kate keen to get Sara out of her misery and secretly worried about Tegan herself.
Sara grabbed her phone and dialled the first number on her speed dial. Kate always complained that she was second but Sara defended the decision saying that Tegan had always been the first on the list and it was now so deeply imprinted in her brain and muscle memory she couldn't change it.
"It's ringing" Sara mumbled.
"Hey Sar" Sara heard Tegan's voice sounding unenthusiastic and tired but calm.
"Hi! Are you in Boston yet? Everything okay?"
"Yes, we just landed. No, they haven't called the loonly bin yet" said Tegan.
"You sure you're okay?"
"Sar, I'm fine, I promise. I need to go, we need to get off the plane and the kids are being impossible. I'll call you once we're in the car"
"Oh…. Okay. Just happy you're okay"
"Thanks for checking Sar. I'll tell you all about it later when a whole plane isn't listening to my conversation" said Tegan and gave the man in front of her a dirty look.
"Alright… love you" said Sara softly.
"You too. Give my love to Kate and Amelia"
"Will do. Be careful"
"Careful? Uh… okay" said Tegan laughing.
"It's not funny. Bye" said Sara sulking and hung up.
"Everything okay?"
"She sounds fine. I'm kind of… I don't know… I was half expecting her to have completely broken down without us" said Sara.
Kate just took Sara in her arms and kissed her hair.
"I love you, I love how much you love and care" said Kate. She took Sara's face in her hands and kissed her softly.
"I feel kind of lost Kate" said Sara resting her head on Kate's shoulder.
"I know, me too baby"
"Anyway… enough" said Sara firmly after taking a deep breath. "You want a salad or a sandwich for lunch sweetie?"
"Salad sounds good" Kate smiled.
-o-
Tegan was standing a few feet away from the luggage carousel waiting patiently for the carousel to start turning. It seemed to take forever. The kids were strapped into their stroller next to her. She already had to take a few selfies and hand out autographs to eager fans. Cam watched her from a few feet away leaning against a column and wondered how she managed to keep so calm with so many people in her space. A man that looked like one of Tegan's security team moved some people away. Cam caught Tegan's eye and smiled. She held her phone in front of her and pretended to take a selfie with a pout turning into an animated smile. Tegan burst out laughing and walked over leaving the kids with Nicky.
"Excuse me, I'm a really big fan of your work and I'd love to have a photo with you. Please, please, please" Tegan laughed.
"Anything for one of my fans" Cam grinned.
Tegan played along and took a selfie of the two of them, both sporting goofy grins.
"My friends are going to be soooo jealous" Tegan said and pretended to swoon.
"Eff off" Cam laughed.
"Someone coming to pick you up?" asked Tegan.
"No, I'm just going to grab the train or a cab"
"We can give you a lift"
"No no, it's out of your way"
"It's not, we're going on the ferry. I wanted to stop in the city anyway for a piece of Boston cream pie. I think it would be wise to let the kids run around a bit before we hit the waters. We got a van and a car waiting to pick us up outside. It really isn't any trouble"
"You're not flying to Provincetown?"
"Oh hell no, I've had enough of small planes… I really have… and frankly, this flight in a big plane already left me shaky and nauseous"
"I completely understand" Cam smiled.
"So, how about that lift?"
"Okay, thank you" said Cam sincerely. She was tired and really wasn't looking forward to a train ride into the city.
"Grab your bag and let's get out of here" said Tegan.
"Oh, I see it coming around. Be with you in a bit"
Tegan walked over to Beth, hands in pockets.
"We're giving Cam a lift into the city" she stated.
"Tegan she's not cleared to…" the mail security guard started before being cut off by Tegan.
"Mike, I'm not the president, take the stick out your ass. She pretty much jumped off a cliff to save me, I think it's safe to say she's not a safety risk" said Tegan rolling her eyes. She walked away to check on the kids.
"Oh, I didn't know it was her… sorry. Guess I owe her a beer for saving my employer" said Mike looking at Cam's muscles jump in her arms as she lifted luggage.
"Easy tiger, I don't think she's…. interested" said Beth and stifled a laugh.
It took a few seconds but it suddenly hit Mike. "Oh fuck… all the good ones are gay"
"Well, Nicky's not" said Cam gesturing to the other female on her team.
Mike went beet red. "She's not?" he asked looking hopeful.
"No. But maybe this isn't the best time for romance eh… keep it in your pants" said Beth slapping Mike's back before walking over to Cam.
"Hi" Cam smiled at Beth as she hauled her suitcase from the carousel.
"Hey, I believe you'll be travelling with us to the city? Where can we drop you?"
"Um… anywhere on your route would be fine. I can get a cab to my final destination"
"Don't make us beg you. Where are you going" Beth laughed.
"The Fiarmont Copley, thanks" Cameron just thought of the first nice hotel that came to mind. She was actually staying in an Airbnb room that looked more like a dorm room than anything else from the photos. She had quite a lot of money saved up and had inherited money when her parents died that was still safely in a savings account, but she didn't know how long she wouldn't be working so she was trying to stretch her savings out as far as possible. She didn't really want to touch her inheritance, she wanted to save that for emergencies, actually for anything but this. Her workmen's comp claim and none of her insurance had come through yet. Her union rep told her that she could try and claim for getting injured or ill on the job. Cam wasn't sure that was the truth but Jimmy seemed to think that she got that virus while out searching for Tegan and that the boss shouldn't have let her do that last day of training without being medically cleared for it. It was worth a try.
"We'll make sure you're settled safely at the Fiarmont before we leave for Provincetown" said Beth.
"You don't have to… I'm a big girl" said Cam looking annoyed suddenly. She turned her back and walked to Tegan. Beth stared after her, trying to figure out how what was intended to be a bit of flirting turned out to seemingly piss the mysterious Cameron off.
"Ready?" Tegan smiled.
"I'll just get a cab Tegan, thanks" said Cameron.
"Listen to me… please let me do you this one favour. It's on our way. You saved my life. I owe you"
"You don't owe me anything" said Cam shaking her head.
"I do… and a van ride into town will never be enough but I guess it's a start. Maybe I can throw in a slice of Boston cream pie?" Tegan winked.
"You are persistent aren't you? Alright… then we're even, okay?" said Cam.
"Not quite but if me saying so will get you into the van then sure" said Tegan shaking her head.
A/N: A nice long chapter today. Thanks for the feedback – please keep it up. Some interesting theories coming in. Some accurate and some not, won't say which is which.