DIRTY TRICKS-Episode 7: Paul Phoenix VS Ken Masters

by Bloodlustful

The newest episode of this saga, with the Satans having enjoyed one villainess killing another, though for an ironic reason, and now a crossover of Tekken and Street Fighter will be presented here. Deciding on cool, blonde martial artists for their next of fights, they pick Tekken's Paul Phoenix and Street Fighter's Ken Masters now. They expect one thing, but will they get another?

Okay, I can finally find time to give you the newest installment of my "DIRTY TRICKS" saga.

We're having it so that, as you read before after the end of the previous chapter in this ongoing saga, we're, well, having a fight between Ken Masters from the "Street Fighter" universe and Jacky Bryant from the "Virtua Fighter" universe…with one exception.

I'm replacing Jacky Bryant with Paul Phoenix from the "Tekken" universe, as I've come to believe recently that it would make much more sense for Paul to be the one at a disadvantage against Ken due to the fact that he is plenty above Jacky Bryant in terms of strength, speed, durability, skill and, quite frankly, all other physical advantages, so I'm doing just that to get the odds closer to being even.

Which means that it will also be more logical should Paul succeed in using a dirty trick to win the fight against Ken despite how that same Ken outclasses him, resulting in me making it so that the Satans reach their way into the "Tekken" universe once more.

But now that I've made things clear here, plus would like to add that I think a Tekken/Street Fighter fight would be cooler than a Street Fighter/Virtua Fighter one, anyway, let's fucking look the fuck back to the previous installment in this various crossover containing story, shall we?

This coming after the battle between Bellatrix Lestrange from the "Harry Potter" universe and Mirage from the "Aladdin" universe, which had an interesting and ironic end to it.

You see, after something of the fight, the felid had Bellatrix dead to rights, which is no surprise, given that she is far more powerful than her, and victory would most definitely have been Mirage's but for one thing.

She inexplicably got a sudden, abrupt and arbitrary headache which not only tortured her brain horrendously, what with visions of her former love, Phasir, the inability to recall why she went from heroine to evil incarnate despite how her knowledge she was once good made itself known, a set of terrible hazes full of blurriness, the reseeing of the love she shared with Phasir being destroyed and reseeing how she went from heroic to evil incarnate despite not remembering why, all of it laden with a great deal of massive confusion, but you know what the hell else?

Bellatrix, upon seeing Mirage's sudden migraine from hell, took full advantage of it.

First, the witch escalated the terrible agony Mirage was in by nailing her skull with the infamous and terrifying Cruciatus Curse which she was so good at casting and so fond of using, which actually caused the cat to, alongside seeing God only knows how many things which could easily be anything at all like she had before, and for the ultimate irony of the eon, make it so that everything in the "Aladdin" universe that she was part of was set right for all eternity and beyond, present and future alike, though obviously by freak chance, the way that everything she was doing and focusing on was coming from her torturous headache.

And then she made sure that Mirage's headache induced vulnerability would be a death sentence for her, and did so in a way that even those who had the most to hate Mirage for would not want to happen, though this was largely because she had undone all of her rotten stunts in her universe of origin without even knowing it at all as part of how she'd permanently set everything in it right for all time(again, by freak chance).

Specifically, she would accompany her Torture Curse with her knife, which she threw right the fuck into Mirage's guts, and Mirage's managing to pull it out and undo the damage it inflicted and part of what was being, well, inflicted on her brain proving to be in vain, as Bellatrix made sure of by causing her spell that knocked her back and attempt to shield herself from the Killing Curse would both be for nothing, as well.

Once Mirage was taking an everlasting catnap, Bellatrix, after arguing and showing her considerable displeasure of how things would happen following the outcome, both a great deal and very emphatically/profoundly, indeed, was convinced to assist Tanya in keeping the five animals who were still alive after all this at bay once she learned her demands would be met, but she would have to wait for a time despite how said demand meetings were guaranteed by the Satans who convinced her to do what she would and did.

Again, were it not for Mirage's unexpected, inexplicable and unsettling headache of the most horrid kind(except when it was boosted by Crucio, of course, in which case it really did become the one of the most horrid kind), she easily would have defeated Bellatrix hands down, without question, what have you.

But, anyway, back on to what the hell had occurred once Bellatrix got the same level of good luck that Mirage got of bad luck, as described above.

Once all of this had happened/occurred, the Satans decided on having it so that two blonde, action craving guys who were also skilled fighters and very famous ones, as well, would be who they chose next, and, as they wanted what they believed would be a lopsided fight so that at least one hero would go down hard, they made it so that, as has been made only too clear prior to the reminder of the previous installment, the "Tekken" universe's Paul Phoenix and the "Street Fighter" universe's Ken Masters.

Since neither will ever back down from a fight, no matter what, and since both are overconfident enough so that being beaten would be more painful to them than it would to most, and that's saying something, it will be far from uninteresting and indeed anything but boring to see how the hell it fucking turns out when the two fight.

That their desires and what that means will happen depending on which one wins in terms of their respective universes are to be considered also adds to the intensity of the upcoming fight, as does the fact that quite a lot of mouth-running is to be done by them, especially Paul.

Of course, Ken has the obvious advantage, or advantages, and this will make it so that Paul might not be as overconfident, brash, cocky and self-assured as he usually is, given why Ken's advantages are so obvious, and the fact that neither wants to fight someone who they can relate to so much adds to how this is one of the very rare instances in which they are reluctant to do battle with someone.

But does that automatically mean that Ken is going to kick Paul's ass, even knowing the fact that their reluctance about this particular fight might make Ken do what he can to end it as soon as possible while having more than enough of what would be required to do so?

Well, you won't know unless you read this installment of "DIRTY TRICKS", will you?

So let's get started, huh?

THINGS TO NOTE:

Both Paul Phoenix and Ken Masters are appearing at a time which occurs after the events of Tekken 7 and Street Fighter V.

I do not own any of the characters, "Tekken" ones, "Street Fighter" ones or otherwise, the way that they are owned by their respective creators, and what song I'm going to use the last chorus of in this part of "DIRTY TRICKS" belongs to the artist who created and performed it, not me.

DIRTY TRICKS

Episode 7: Paul Phoenix VS Ken Masters

Let's get the obvious out of the way, shall we?

While Bellatrix Lestrange had won her fight with Mirage and, after being convinced to do so in various ways by the Satans, joined Tanya in keeping the five trapped animal heroes at bay, the fact was that victory would have been Mirage's if the cat hadn't been unfortunate enough to be subject to the worst and most arbitrary headache that one can believe imaginable, and how it led to her downfall.

Indeed, she had Bellatrix in her clutches, and it was only the intervention of that headache and what it allowed Bellatrix to do which saved her life while ending Mirage's, and now, with her wand helping out while Tanya kept the gun she stole from Nina Williams after defeating and killing her, Bellatrix was further making sure of it that the trapped and triumphant(with the exception of Gloria, who'd lost to Rita through the latter's dancing her way around what would have otherwise been a figuratively and literally crushing defeat)animals stayed that way.

Moving the fuck on from this part of the fucking story, though, one of the Satans stated: "You know, let's move one from mystical bitches to blond martial artists. I mean, there was an unexpected outcome for an unexpected reason, said outcome something which would have been entirely different if not for said reason, so how likely do you think shit like that is likely to fucking repeat itself again, with the selections I just made or otherwise?"

"I see what you mean," said another Satan, "and that is an interesting swing of sorts in terms of who the hell we choose for this."

"We actually have just the thing." a third one suggested, and once said suggestion was made, the Tekken universe Satan said: "It's been unanimously agreed. It's going to be Paul Phoenix and Ken Masters who goddamn get fucking forcibly summoned and fucking forced to fucking fight next."

"Okay, then. Time to bring them to us." the Street Fighter universe Satan said as all the others nodded, and so it was that Paul Phoenix and Ken Masters were teleported the fuck into the real world's present day New York City basketball court, all of their powers and that of the other Satans who were with them making sure of all of that and the previous effect, namely that of both individuals who were brought to this basketball court knowing everything they needed to know about the other and knowing where they'd been taken, as well as how the hell it had fucking happened.

"Shit! Oh, hell no!" Paul exclaimed. "You've got to be fucking shitting me here!" and then Ken said: "Well, no one is, Paul! This is reality, something that you've goddamn got to fucking spend more fucking time in!"

"Ken!" Paul exclaimed as he looked at said Street Fighter hero. "Okay, first of all, don't you fucking talk that shit to me! And second of all, I know exactly why the hell this shit fucking happened to us just as well as you do!"

"Much like we know each other just as well, as well." Ken told Paul, unable to help but chuckle a little at the way he fucking put that across. "But my guess is that, despite my numerous advantages over you, you're not going to yield."

"OF COURSE I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING YIELD!" Paul roared thunderously, and then he continued exploding furiously: "I NEVER YIELD! I NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER GODDAMN GIVE UP, NO MATTER WHAT! YOU'VE FUCKING LEARNED ABOUT ME! YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT SHIT PERFECTLY WELL! DON'T PLAY DUMB!"

Paul was then thinking to himself: "Ironically, for literally the very first damn time in my entire fucking life, I'm feeling really unlike myself…specifically, I don't want this fucking fight, since this guy's so fucking similar to me, and while I will not give in any more than I would in any of the other fucking fights I've been in, all of which I fucking wanted and loved winning, which I did in almost each and every one of them, I still wish it didn't have to be against a guy like this. But I'm fucking forced just like he is. Kind of like I'm fucking forced to accept that I'm actually feeling uncharacteristically unsure concerning my chances here. I mean, the Satans have been plenty open about why the hell they chose things to be like this and we both fucking learned it ourselves while we were being brought here. Still, I want to win this fucking fight, and, when one fucking thinks about it, have to, really, so I've got to think up a dirty trick to turn the fucking tide in my fucking favor now if I'm going to fucking find a way to pull off a fucking win in this fucking fight. But how?"

Ken was thinking to himself at the same time: "You know, I might outclass Paul, but he's far too fucking persistent to just dismiss as a clear-cut loser just because you have a lot going for you that he doesn't. This is actually the first time I've ever been unhappy about a fucking fight and, in fact, not fucking wanted it at all, but I've got no choice, even as it'll hurt much worse than any fucking physical damage will to have to battle a guy who's goddamn got so much in common with me, and the fact is that I've got to remember just why the hell I need to have this fucking fight. Well, with any luck, hopefully, what have you, this first fight that I wish I didn't have to be in will be the only fucking one of those, whether I win with an empty victory or lose in a way that either doesn't hurt as much, hurts more as a loss or maybe even a motherfucking mixture of both, depending. And you know, something tells me that, even with the odds stacked in my fucking favor blatantly, I might need to think of a dirty trick of some sort, just in case there might be a fucking need for it after all."

Of course, neither Paul nor Ken were going to reveal these undesirable feelings of theirs to anyone, especially since the former might have been slightly dimwitted, but he was not stupid-stupid, so he certainly wasn't going to express what he currently kept to himself, and would most perpetually, the fact that no one likes it when they're in an uncharacteristic state of mind at all only compounding this, of course.

So, then.

Ken and Paul alike both fucking tried to think a goddamn dirty trick the fuck up/think of a fucking dirty trick, but it proved very goddamn difficult for the both of them, indeed, even Ken and especially Paul, but the Satans, especially the Tekken universe one and the Street Fighter universe one, made well sure of it that they wouldn't get the chance to do so.

"Oh, no! You two are not going to be goddamn given the fucking time to think any kind of goddamn dirty trick the fuck up like what the hell was the fucking case with the other fucking winners who should have been the fucking losers here!" let loose the Tekken universe Satan.

"It's going to be a fucking fight-fight this time in the truest fucking sense of the word, and that motherfucking means it's goddamn going according to plan, specifically in the way that we fucking expect it to and thus what the hell was our reason for thinking the fuck up the deed of your being fucking selected for this next goddamn battle!" added the Street Fighter universe Satan.

"Don't even try it, and no ifs, ands or buts!" put across the Tekken universe Satan. "I speak for each and every one of us Satans here when the hell I fucking say that to you, to the both of you!"

"This shit fucking happens now! End of story!" boomed the Street Fighter universe Satan thunderously to a shocked and taken aback/by surprise and indeed caught the fuck off goddamn guard Paul and Ken, who both just barely managed to keep their cool and composure while now hurrying up as much as they could to think up some kind of dirty trick, since it was possible for them both that such a thing might become a necessity, though more so in Paul's case than Ken's, but this shit was not to fucking be at all worth shit because of what the hell all of the fucking Satans, the ones from their respective universes or otherwise, boomed the fuck out in unison.

Here, I'll be nice and precise.

Each and every Satan present would then scream: "FIGHT!" and both Paul and Ken had no choice but to accept the fact that there wasn't going to be time for either one of them to try and think up a dirty trick that they might use on each other to win, and then get into their fight.

Ken, unsurprisingly, landed the first blow, what with how he had those special moves in his arsenal and, while Paul was plenty skilled, talented, strong, fast, tough and energetic, he was not on Ken's level and didn't have any true special moves going for him, and that first blow was, also unsurprisingly, from Ken going: "HADOUKEN!" and hitting Paul with a fireball.

"AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!" Paul went, and then Ken jumped over and nailed him in the head with a jump kick, making Paul go: "UUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHH!" while Ken said: "Damn, those Satans sure did decide to get unfair and ruthless to an extreme that not even they would be believed to be able to, didn't they, Paul?"

Paul, just after nailing Ken with a backhand punch once the latter landed, though a lucky punch that could have gone anywhere and indeed got Ken by freak chance, and sending him flying, to which Ken went: "UUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA!" replied: "Yeah, but don't think I'm goddamn going to forfeit this fucking fight just because it's the things you've got that I don't have that make them think to fucking do things this way!"

"Suit yourself, Paul," Ken said as he got back up and somersaulted towards his opponent. "It's only going to make this fight that neither of us wants last longer, and cause you to be, well, caused more pain instead of less."

While Paul was able to get in a one-two punch into Ken's abdomen once the latter landed in front of him while, ironically, landing a sailing punch into Paul's head at the same time, which caused both to go: "UUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" in unison, Ken did his special uppercut attack on Paul, though the latter, doing the first thing that he could think of, jumped back enough so that he was simply knocked down after having only been subject to one hit, as opposed to the multiple hits that Ken usually dealt to his opponents with that fiery uppercut move of his.

"UUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHH!" Paul said, but he then saw Ken coming back down, as vulnerable as he always was after having just done that particular move of his, and, taking advantage of that vulnerability while he could, he pushed himself up and landed one hell of a hard, powerful, high-impact and well-placed kick into Ken's torso before doing a high jump kick that nailed Ken in the back and caused him to once more go flying, well, back.

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ken then went the fuck out, and as his face hit the floor, making him go: "OOOWWWW!", Paul informed him: "My goddamn guess is that you now damn well see and fucking feel otherwise, Ken."

Though he then somersaulted over to try and damage Ken further, rare fight reluctance or not, Ken managed to push himself back up in time to perform his Hurricane Kick, to which Paul went as he was nailed multiple times like everyone else who couldn't block the attack in time: "UHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH!" and was knocked to the ground in the process.

As he got back up, Ken knocked him down again, this time with a low kick that nailed him in the ankles, though Paul pushed himself forward to kick Ken in the torso just before he fell down on the ground on his back, causing both men to fall on their backs and go: "OOOOWWW! UUUUUUUNNNNNNHHHH!" in Paul's case and "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFF! UNNNNNHHHHHHHH!" in Ken's case.

"You surprise me greatly, Paul." Ken informed him as they both got back up. "I honestly thought our fucking fight would be over by now. And yet here you still stand along with me. You are that tenacious?"

"More like ELEVEN-acious, Ken." Paul replied as he then threw a punch at his opponent, but Ken blocked it with his left hand before kicking Paul in the torso with his right foot, punching Paul in the face with his right hand, followed by his Thunder Kick, though it only hit Paul in the face instead of atop his head due to the latter trying to jump back and dodge the attack, for all the good it did him(except for saving the top of his head from the attack, of course).

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFF! UUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNHHHHH! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Paul let loose, but then he jumped back again, figuring it was his only chance of success in terms of still staying in the fight instead of being knocked out, and he then did so again, so that the chances of his head being cleared enough to fight on would increase, and surprisingly proved successful.

Looking at Paul after he did so and vice versa, Ken said to him: "This fight has just been so fucking full of surprises thanks to you, Paul. You clearly weren't shitting me about that fucking Eleven-acious thing." and Paul went: "Well, DUH. No shit, Sherlock. I may dislike this fucking fight as much as you do despite how not liking a battle with someone is uncharacteristic for me, but I never back down, no matter what."

"I can see that." Ken said to him. "But I will now see you defeated. HADOUKEN!" Ken let loose a fireball twice, Paul managing to dodge the first one by jumping over it, but then being hit by the second one due to how he was in midair when he came back down and thus couldn't do a thing to dodge, resulting in him being knocked down yet again while going: "AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ken jumped at him, during which time Paul rolled himself back as many times as possible to dodge the leap kick that he expected from Ken and obviously expected right about, and also jumped back up after doing so in a way that allowed him to look at Ken, who then went: "HADOUKEN!" thrice more and this time unleashed three fireballs at Paul, but Paul jumped the fuck aside from the first one and ran over to Ken before somersaulting over to a surprised Ken, an act which he was able to do just in time to land a kick on Ken's face, though this was only because Ken was surprised long enough so that he couldn't dodge the whole kick, which was meant for the top of his head.

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" shouted Ken, but then, after Paul blocked a punch from him and then delivered a punch of his own to Ken's face and an uppercut onto his chin, Ken whacked aside Paul's next attempt at a punch with his right hand and did his run-of-the-mill, non-flaming uppercut attack onto Paul's chin, though Paul was not knocked over despite the damage it did and grabbed a hold of his opponent's leg when he came back down from the performance of the attack, subsequently smashing him against the floor.

That resulted in: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFF! UUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" from Ken, then "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFF!" from Paul and finally: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGUUUUNNNNNNNNFFFF!" from Ken, who, ironically, then grabbed Paul by the wrist and slammed him against the floor in response/retaliation.

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Paul let loose and indeed the fuck out, and then Ken dashed over, pulled Paul up, headbutted him square in the face and did his Lion Breaker kick, sending Paul flying after the first kick from said attack was followed by the second, and Paul's face hurt like hell, almost to the point where he didn't know what the hell fucking planet he was on, which was to be followed by Ken dashing over and pulling him up by his hair, having thought up that as the perfect dirty trick to win this fucking fight all of a sudden.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOWWWWGGGHHHH!" Paul screamed, and then Ken would say: "Okay, the fucking fight stops right the fuck here and now like it should have long before now!"

He kneed Paul in the back and then spun him around via twisting his hair, something that caused Paul to go: "OOOOOOOWWWWWWGGGHHHH! YEEEEEEOOOWWWWW!" but despite this, Paul stomped on Ken's left foot with his right one, though this was another attack that connected by freak chance, given what kind of physical and mental state Paul was now in, and he also stomped on Ken's right foot with his left one, followed by smashing his fists onto the sides of Ken's head and using his, well, head to turn Ken's own trick against him.

"OOOOOOOOOOWWWWW! OOOOOOOOOWWWWCCCCCHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRHHHHHHHH! UUUUUNNNNGGGGGHHHHFFFFFFF!" Ken let the fuck out, and Paul then kneed him in the guts and elbowed him in the back before also smashing him in the throat with his left forearm, which caused Ken to quickly throw Paul several feet away so that he would have time to recover from this barrage to any kind of extent at all.

Right after Ken yelled: "UUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFF! OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLGGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUULLLKKKKKKKKKK!" and Paul yelled: "WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOUNNNNNNNNFFF!", both at extremely loud-ass volumes, of course.

Paul got back up while Ken did all he could to undo the throat hit that Paul had dealt to him while his opponent ran on over, something that Ken quickly fended off to the extent he could upon seeing Paul's shadow and knocking him backwards, though not over, with a backhand punch, making Paul shout: "AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH!" despite still managing to stay on his feet, as made clear above.

Using another trick of Ken's against its performer by going over and pulling Ken's hair before spinning around and giving him a black eye with his right fist, to which Ken screamed: "YEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWGGGHHHH! UUUUUUUUNNNNNNGGGHHHHH!" Paul would find himself countered by a really big punch across the mouth, during which time Ken, who had now gotten his ability to speak and fight like he usually could back just barely with what he'd done about his throat damage and the pain therefrom, as Paul shouted out: "UUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHAAAAAARRRRRRRHHHHHHH!" would say: "Quite the combo you've got there, Paul! Unfortunately, it will now prove not to have been enough!"

"AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Paul yelled as he was then grabbed by Ken and hurled across the basketball court by his lying down and leg thrust throw, and once Paul had gone: "UUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNFFFF!" upon hitting the floor while Ken somersaulted over to pull him back up by the arm, though he received a punch to the right side from Paul's left fist during it all, which elicited a very big: "AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" from him, Ken punched Paul in the left side with his right fist, albeit with Paul using his own right fist to punch Ken in the left side.

"AAAAAAARRRRRRHHHHHHHHH!" the both of them screamed at the same goddamn fucking time, but Ken used the head sides punch Paul had previously hit him with against the latter, also saying while Paul, well, said: "AAAAAAAARRRRRRHHHHH!" the words: "You know, Paul, you really do have a tendency to talk a lot. In fact, many would say, myself fucking included, of course, that you're a fucking motormouth!"

After doing his special kick attack that hit high, low and mid-body on Paul, which evoked a screaming of: "UUUUUUUNNNNNHHHHHHH! AAAAAARRRRRRGGHHHHH! OOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMPFFFFFFFF!" from him, he grabbed Paul, kneed him in the guts three times and added while Paul went: "UUUUUULLLLLLLLFFFFF! WUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFF! WWWWWUUUUULLLLPPPPFFFFFFFFF!" a sentence of: "Might be worth seeing if my Hurricane Kick can smash you in that mouth hard enough to fucking shut your ass the fuck up for good, or, at the very least, make it so you aren't as fucking talkative as before!"

"Shit…he's goddamn got me…" thought a dazed Paul to himself as Ken somersaulted the fuck back two feet or so as, well, so to fucking execute his fucking Hurricane Kick, and Paul further said in his skull: "Unless I really luck the fuck out big time somehow or other here, it's lights out and Loserville for me."

As if on cue, Ken got his Hurricane Kick going, saying as he did so: "Get ready, Paul! Previously, my Hurricane Kick knocked you down. This time, it will knock you out!"

Suddenly, though, Ken got the rug pulled out from under him by the fickle finger of fate, what with it being that Paul, doing the first damn thing that he could fucking think of in his very unfavorable position, tried to duck the blow from the Hurricane Kick that would surely knock him out, not wanting to accept defeat, even in a fight that was one of the scant few that he wasn't enjoying, and while he didn't duck it entirely, he did do so enough so that only his tall hair was made contact with by Ken's foot, which went right through it and got tickled really, really badly while it happened.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" went Ken loudly as he did indeed laugh out loud and fell to the ground from the sudden tickling sensation which he was surprised at, and then he was looked at while on his hands and knees, which is where he had ended up after he was falling, by a just as surprised Paul, who, despite not being an intellectual, was plenty able to put the pieces together after a moment or so when he remembered how he had felt Ken's foot go through his hair when he performed his attempted duck…Ken banging his left fist on the floor while still laughing only adding further proof to the impression Paul was getting being so.

Just then, the last of the fucking choruses in a fucking song was playing in the fucking background, the fact that no one could fucking hear it at all and indeed it was inaudible to any and every individual present in the basketball court notwithstanding.

Hey now, you're an all star!

Anyway, as Ken's laughter faded, Paul was thinking to himself: "Hold the fuck on a fucking second…I'm one dealing of significant damage away from being beaten, but after taking all of the other ones while getting in as many hits of my own as I could, I'm suddenly at a fucking advantage because of the way I attempted to duck making it so that my hair tickled his foot a lot, and I can win with a dirty trick. I couldn't think of one before our fight. But now, knowing that I can win, I also know that it can only happen if I pull the dirtiest possible trick in a one-on-one fight in a long, long time when next he strikes. And I've got just the thing."

Get your game on, go play!

Trying to see if this could net him a win that he otherwise wouldn't have a chance at getting, with or without his various skills, talents and the like, Paul waited until Ken had gotten back up and dropped back down to the floor when Ken said: "HADOUKEN!" in a way so that he was able to just barely dodge it and lie down on the floor from so doing.

"You know, Paul, you're only making this hard on yourself!" Ken told him as Paul started to get back up and Ken, believing this was his cue to perform his Hurricane Kick once more as so to this time knock Paul out like he was previously intending and doubtless would have if Paul hadn't tried to duck and caused his tall hair to tickle Ken's foot so much, the latter by chance, as you learned before, of course, did just that…only for Paul to suddenly drop back down again so that he wouldn't be knocked out after standing back up again, but instead Ken's foot would go through his hair again, which it did.

Hey now, you're a rock star!

This resulted in Ken going, though at a much higher volume than he had gone before: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" and subsequently falling towards where Paul was without even knowing it, nor did he know that his legs were widespread, exposing his crotch, the sensation that caused the tickling that led to all of this also seeing to it that his head was sent up into the air, not to mention that Paul could tell exactly what kind of position Ken was in and what the hell that shit motherfucking meant.

Get the show on, get paid!

"Okay…" Paul thought to himself/said in his mind: "…Ken's legs are far apart from how the hell he's laughing so damn hard and said laughter is causing him to throw his head the fuck up in the sky while he falls down again with me having gotten into position for making my move. In other words, it's now or never."

And all that glitters is gold!

And make his move he did, indeed, as, a second later, Paul promptly nailed Ken in the groin with one hell of a big, hard kick and indeed kicked him in the fucking balls at full force, an action which caused a surprised and caught off guard Ken to go the fuck out really, really loudly: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" from how it caught him totally unawares and hurt so much that his entire body felt like a giant tornado of pain.

Only shooting stars break the mold!

Paul then pulled his fucking foot the fuck away and jumped back so that his fucking opponent could at least land on his feet, which he did, and Ken then passed out and crumpled down onto the floor, with a triumphant Paul standing over him while panting, sweating and out of breath, all to the extreme, barely able to do said standing and absolutely unable to speak for need of getting his breath back, and only when the hell he'd gotten enough of it back would he be able to make any noise other than panting.

"Well, what the hell do you fucking know?" Paul said when once it fucking happened. "I WIN! YEAH! HELL YEAH! HELL TO THE YEAH! FUCK YEAH! FUCK TO THE YEAH! You almost had me there, man, but I'm called number one for a reason! As you just fucking learned the fucking hard way just now!" and his uncharacteristic state of mind that had been present during this fight was now eliminated completely, with his true, almost omnipresent personality barreling right the fuck back with a vengeance in the most profound of ways and he loved every second of it and its wonderful feeling.

"WELL, WOULD YOU JUST FUCKING LOOK AT THAT! THIS SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FUCKING HAPPEN, CHANCES ARE, BUT WHAT THE HELL DO YOU FUCKING KNOW…IT DID!" cried out the Tekken universe Satan happily, and then the Street Fighter universe Satan, in stark contrast, bellowed the fuck out furiously: "WE SELECTED YOU AND MASTERS SO THAT YOU'D FUCKING FAIL, PHOENIX! SO THAT YOU'D FUCKING FALL! NOT FUCKING COME THE FUCK OUT ON TOP!"

"Well, your stupid-ass plan fucking backfired, you fucking piece of shit Satan wannabe asshole motherfucker!" Paul retorted before saying: "You fucking thought that I was just goddamn going to fucking accept defeat or that Ken's having some fucking advantages over me automatically motherfucking meant that he was going to fucking trash me while I didn't have a fucking snowball's chance in hell? Shit, and people fucking call ME stupid! Now, time to do what I mean to with my universe."

Taking a good, hard, long, firm, fully focused, undivided attention laden look, Paul made it so that his being known as the toughest fighter in the Tekken universe was intertwined with everything in that universe being the best it possibly could be and indeed what it both needed to be and in a way that would please everyone who wasn't evil, with all evil gotten the fuck rid of in addition to how part of becoming that toughest fighter meant taking down all opponents he would have had prior to being taken from his universe to this original, real world one in a way that made it the equivalent of a complete, total, non-bogus defeat so that none would have any excuses at all.

In any case, he'd achieved all that he wanted to and set things right in the best and most eternal way in his universe, and he felt more high on himself and on top of the world(almost literally)than ever, if that was possible, and indeed he was going: "WELL, WOULD YOU JUST FUCKING LOOK THE FUCK AT THAT?! I ACHIEVED EVERYTHING THAT I EVER FUCKING WANTED TO AND THEN SOME! WAIT UNTIL EVERYONE IN MY FUCKING UNIVERSE FUCKING SEES ME AGAIN, THE WAY THAT I PERMANENTLY FUCKING SET THINGS! IT'LL BE THE BEST DAMN DREAM COME TRUE EVER!"

"Well, you're certainly the fuck back to normal, Phoenix." said the Tekken universe Satan, "but let's see if you really feel so damn good about yourself when I say that you are never returning to your universe of origin and, in fact, are staying in this one forever, shall we? Because that's just what the hell is happening right the fuck here and now!"

"WHAT?! Hell to the no! That is not happening!" Paul barked. "Not now, not ever! Don't you dare even try it, motherfucker! Shit, fuck that…DON'T YOU DARE EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT!"

"It already has. You are forever fucking shut the fuck out of your universe of origin, and the closest anyone will ever come to what the hell you fucking anticipated so damn badly is to fucking admire, thank and enjoy talking about you alongside the partying they'll be doing as a celebration to what the hell you've fucking caused to happen. In the meantime, this original, real world universe is your new home, just like it is that of those pathetic animals who we fucking shut the fuck out of their respective universes. So get used to it…you're stuck here forever." the Tekken universe Satan said snidely.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Paul screamed in fury.

"And we have shut Masters the fuck out of his Street Fighter universe just as permanently, as well, or actually, I have, and you will have to let him know about this once he's awake, since there's no going back from this world for him, either." the Street Fighter universe Satan informed Paul.

"Holy shit!" Paul exclaimed. "You guys are nothing but a bunch of fucking piles of shit who make it so that I would now like nothing more than to massacre but good, and in ghastly-ass ways the likes of which no one in even the darkest of universes could ever possibly…!"

Suddenly, though, Paul heard and saw two very different things, both of which were very fucking unpleasant, indeed.

What the he fucking heard was: "CRUCIO!" from Bellatrix, who knew that, if she and Tanya did what the hell they were planning to do without keeping the animals from being able to do anything while it happened, said animals would doubtless stop them from doing it and make it so that it was the start of their downfall thanks to this and what it would cause Paul to do once he saw it(not least of all because of Tiger's powers, what they would do and what that would mean for both villainesses).

As well as: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" from all five animals thanks to the effects of the Cruciatus Curse that she was performing on them, something that got him stilled with shock and confusion, and it caused him to become uncharacteristically aghast, as well(which continued until Bellatrix was certain that the pain from her Torture Curse had become sufficient to render the animals impotent despite how they didn't lose consciousness before or after she was done inflicting excruciating pain on them).

And what the hell he fucking saw was two fucking shadows turn around and looked to see Tanya and Bellatrix pointing a gun and wand, respectively, at him, his eyes opening widely when that shit fucking happened and it was followed by Tanya saying: "Okay, that's more than enough out of you, asshole! You get the fuck over there with the others and bring that literal-ass loser with you!"

"If you don't, then both you and Masters will fucking die as I cast the Killing Curse on you…" Bellatrix began, and then Tanya finished the fucking sentence with: "…and I pump your guts full of lead! And his, too!"

"And both at the same damn fucking time, as well, we might fucking bloody well add!" put in Bellatrix, and Tanya then said: "So move it! Do exactly what the hell we just fucking said! We're only warning your ass once!"

Realizing that his current physical state and the way that both evil bitches had him trapped thanks to the gun Tanya had stolen from Nina and the wand that Bellatrix kept with her made it so that he had no choice at all but to fucking comply even though he otherwise wouldn't fucking do any such thing at all, Paul picked up Ken's still unconscious body and went the fuck on over to where the animals were.

Only when he collapsed onto his ass and was sitting down with Ken in his lap did Paul no longer have that gun and that wand pointed at him…or, at least, solely at him.

Now he joined the big group of animals who were trapped thanks to gun and wand along with the comatose Ken, and Tanya said: "Okay, good. When Masters awakens, you are to make it well clear to him that he is NOT going to try and fucking escape this. Just like you aren't and just like the fleabags and the fatass aren't."

"Yeah, yeah." Paul said, getting his true personality back, confidence or otherwise, and he then stated: "But know this shit for a fucking fact, you cock-juggling thundercunts…just as nine of the animals present are goddamn going to fucking break, so I absolutely fucking refuse to even begin to fucking break, much like will no doubt be the fucking case with Ken once he awakens, even after I've fucking filled him the fuck in."

"As if it matters at all." Tanya told him, and then Bellatrix added: "Oh, and another thing…insulting us is very unwise, Phoenix."

"For many reasons, not least of all the fucking possibility that Lestrange and I will kill you being heightened." Tanya put the fuck across to Paul.

"Right, right." Paul sighed, and, since the continuous knowledge about everything else concerning these circumstances that he and Ken alike had had both before and after Paul came out triumphant and indeed achieved his unexpected victory that, well, both would always have like all of the ones Paul was sitting down with alongside the unconscious Ken on his legs, he said to them: "Damn, this shit sure sucks, doesn't it, guys?"

"'Sucks' is an understatement, Paul." Tiger said to him, and Rita then fucking added the fuck onto it when she fucking said to him: "One hell of a really big-ass kind of fucking understatement, in fact."

"Ken's sure as hell goddamn going to be real fucking unhappy once he wakes up and learns of all of this, isn't he?" Diego went rhetorically, and Soto then fucking said to his brother: "Way to fucking put it lightly, Diego."

"You all might want to bloody well fucking consider shutting the fuck up, and right the fuck here and now, as well." Bellatrix fucking informed them with a vicious, nasty snarl.

"Why should we?" Gloria asked. "We're not continuing to insult you, you know, and we aren't making any fucking secret of our feelings here, either, just like we weren't before."

"It doesn't matter." Tanya informed her brusquely. "We are sick and tired of hearing your fucking voices, and you are irking me and Lestrange alike greatly with your 'refusal to break' shit. So pipe the fuck down unless you want to be fucking silenced forever. You, too, Phoenix, and with the exception of letting Ken know that that goes for Ken when he fucking awakens, this is going to be so unless Lestrange and I change our motherfucking minds, which isn't goddamn going to fucking happen."

"Well, it would seem that there isn't going to be any way out for Phoenix or Masters any more than there's going to be any way out for those abominable animals. Excellent." the Tekken universe Satan said, and the Street Fighter universe Satan said: "Indeed, there isn't. And, while I am quite enraged that my selected fighter lost what the hell should have been a sure win for him, that does not make much difference at all here, as it will be none too long before I am concentrating on which two individuals we choose next along with you lot."

"I believe we can consider that our cue to start considering who should be chosen for these ongoing battles of ours next." the Tekken universe Satan told the others, and none were inclined to disagree at all.

Which meant that they were now going to be putting some(read: a lot)of thought into who they hell should be the ones that they chose for the next of the fights that they were motherfucking meaning to create, and this was going to be a task which was anything but easy for any of them, especially after how, more often than not, things did not end up as they wanted them to, or at least this was so as far as the ones who believed that there was no way in hell that the ones they picked wouldn't lose before the other one's bag of dirty tricks was opened.

THE END OF THE SEVENTH EPISODE

Did you like it and see it as both funny and badass at the same damn time as I fucking meant it to be?

I hope your answer is yes, of course.

Anyway, kind of reminds you of the Gloria/Rita fight in the second part of this saga, doesn't it(you know, given how the hell Rita won her fucking fight with Gloria, who would have easily nailed her if she'd done things any other way in their fight)?

One could actually call it the human and male equivalent of it!

Well, at least in some ways and to a certain extent, anyway.

All right, so…Paul won his fight with Ken even though he only had a slim chance of doing so, and, in stark contrast to most fights he's had, whether he won them or not, he saw this one as a losing battle he was fighting and it was one which was done reluctantly, anyway, though, for the ultimate irony, it was not only not a losing battle at all, but it was, in fact, one that he ended the fuck up winning, as well.

And hey, these two guys are easily one another's "Tekken" and "Street Fighter" counterparts, so it's only too fitting they'd go at it(much like Jacky Bryant is their "Virtua Fighter" counterpart, but I've explained why I opted for having Paul be put in his place here, like you read at the beginning).

Not to mention…with the way that Paul always wanted to be the toughest fighter in the universe(the "Tekken" universe, that is, and literally, as we fucking saw in his "Tekken 5" ending)?

It's no wonder at all that he'd do whatever it took to try, and, quite surprisingly, succeed, to win this fucking fight, before and after he thought up the dirty trick that he did, even as it didn't feel like the fights he was constantly enjoying and he, for the most part, wasn't himself until he won the battle.

Oh, and you should know…my reason for choosing "All Star" by Smash Mouth for what song would have its last chorus played in the, well, last moments of the fight was that both Paul Phoenix and Ken Masters are very famous and popular characters in their respective franchises, and they really are the kinds of guys who would love songs like Smash Mouth's "All Star", not to mention that the "all that glitters is gold" part of all three usages of that chorus in, well, that song can be connected to the fact that they both have blonde hair.

Oh, yes, fighting game character all-stars, indeed, plus Paul has often been called stupid by one or more of the characters in the "Tekken" universe, which he hates despite how he is slightly dimwitted, and that well incorporates itself into those first verse lyrics of the song: "I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.", so there you go/all the more reason.

So, who are the Satans summoning next, you ask?

Here's who.

Going for quite the cool irony, both figuratively and literally, their summoning will be applied to two cryogenic women as their selections, specifically Frost from the "Mortal Kombat" universe and Killer Frost from the DC universe.

Specifically because of the fact that, despite being modeled off of Killer Frost, the original MK timeline Frost was mishandled badly by the creators, and in a way that threw logic out the window, no less, and not only should have stayed a dark heroine instead of becoming a villainess for that reason and plenty of others, but the fact is that the other gaps in logic in the "Mortal Kombat" games(which, sadly, are plenty)make it so that what led to what is seen as the final game in the original timeline, and how it led to the creation of the second timeline, is realistically impossible in terms of the storyline and indeed continuity is ignored in a rushed, lazy way.

So discounting any and all "Mortal Kombat" games that follow 2004's "Mortal Kombat: Deception" like I do actually MAKES SENSE, quite ironically enough(talk about the bigtime ironies in my favor, you know?).

That said, and with how the hell I will fucking handle Frost much better myself here, not to mention how the hell I will be using Killer Frost just as how the fuck she is, since that is realistic, as is, once you give it a little thought, discounting anything and everything about DC past late 2003 and, in some cases, early 2004, which of course I do, there will be quite a few things that will make it one hell of a cool(pun fully intended)fight.

Made with some interesting blends, actually, since it will also be a heated battle, Frost and Killer Frost are both hot despite having cold-related powers and the latter needs heat to keep herself and her powers going, not to mention what the hell kind of a fucking hothead Frost is.

Now, you might already know this, but I am choosing these two for the next fight in this saga of "DIRTY TRICKS" because of how the hell Frost's ice powers, while plenty powerful and very compatible with what the hell kind of fucking fighting skills she received from her sifu, Sub-Zero, are far below Killer Frost's ice powers, and that's before you throw on the fact that she is much more evil, sadistic and murderous than Frost, and was never at all good, as opposed to how Frost was initially good and should have stayed that way, and, in this far more logical and far from lazy way of handling her that I'm doing, does indeed stay that way.

And thus it is that the Satans believe that Frost is done for, and indeed they do for exactly these reasons, so they're looking forward to a dark heroine being killed by a villainess after they got to see one hero being beaten by another, though not as they wanted it, since they had wanted to see Ken thrash Paul, not Paul defeat Ken after a long, hard fight.

Question is, what WILL happen when the Satans get this fight into motion, and furthermore, what is that going to mean for the triumphant but trapped heroes who are currently being kept back by the gun Tanya stole from Nina Williams and the wand which is used by Bellatrix Lestrange?

Once it's been posted, though, sadly, I don't know when the hell that will be, you will learn and that will surely make this all the more exciting.

For the time being, however, I would ask a favor of you…specifically ratings and reviews, please.