When I first heard of Mount Ebott, it was my friend Suzy who told me. "Frisk you haven't heard of Mount Ebott? No, well it is a spooky mountain! Where legend has it that those who climb the mountain will never return!" She told that story to me on Halloween as a joke. But once I heard about it, It was stuck, I couldn't get it out of my head.
As the weather changed, I wanted to go there more. Every 'accident', I had ended up with me being alive. Every time I failed ending my burden of a life, the idea of climbing that mountain seemed getting better. I still kept up the facade of seeming like my happy self as I looked at the mountain. That mountain will end my life soon.
People asked me why I want to end my life, but to be honest I don't know. It's just an urge that I can't kick to end my pathetic life. I decided to finally stop playing games, I'm going to end it right here and now.
I woke up early in the morning to take that long hike, I didn't want to risk waking anyone up, so I just put on some shoes and went out.I was wearing my old blue onesie, it was so old I could see there were little holes at the bottom of it.
My eyes fell on my wrist. They were bandedge up from my last suicide attempt. I was stopped though by my brother, he was so concerned. I wonder how he'll react to this.
I reached the peak of the mountain. I was happy for a moment for climbing this big mountain. I forgot about my worries as I waved a stick around in victory.
Once I was done celebrating I remembered what I was here for. I looked around to see a hole at the center of the mountain. It was a seemingly bottomless pit and nothingness scared me.
The silence of the pit let me think, which I absolutely hated. Whenever I'm left with my thoughts alone it never goes to a good place. I looked around the mountain to see if anyone was going to try and stop me. But no one came, I smiled. They finally gave up on me. The same smile I had since grade school. It was my armor to protect myself from the pain.
Before I jumped I thought about what death would be like. No more feeling, no more body, no more pain and finally I will stop thinking. No one ever understood me. I thought about it as I jumped into this seemingly endless pit.
Falling, falling, falling, and crashing. I waited to die. "How long does it take for someone to die after they fall?" I said out loud. I never thought about the logistics of death by falling. I wonder how long it will take. I opened my eyes to look around the cave. There was no noise, it was just me alone, and alive.
Tears streamed down my face. It's like the world is determined to keep me alive. Why am I still living? Maybe in a minute I'll die? As I moved to get up I saw these cute yellow flowers. I wiped my tears and smiled at them even though they can't smile back.
I failed another suicide attempt. Normally I'd feel mad or depressed like something was wrong with me. It's not like I have a hard time trying to kill my self. I was numb, it was like a fever dream. I was smiling but felt nothing. I got up and walked down the hall into another room like I was programmed to. I was looking for another way to end it. But then I saw another one of those flowers and they were smiling back.
"Howdy! I'm Flowey, Flowey the flower!" This flower said welcomely. I gripped the stick I brought into the underground because I don't think flowers can talk.
"Hi Flowey! I'm Frisk, Frisk the human!" I felt numb but brought the enthusiasm of a puppy.
But then the Flower did an evil laugh that sent shivers down my spine. The numbness left as quickly as it came and I was greeted by a gut feeling. That gut feeling was fear. I wanted to run from him, he was bad news.
"Why are you going by that silly name? That's rude to act like we're strangers." He said. I wanted to get out of there but what's the point. I fell to die so what's the point of running? "Someone ought to teach you some proper manners. Guess little me will have to do."
"Thank you, Flowey!" I said, hoping if I was nice to him that he might kill me if I asked him.
"Your welcome! Ready?" I nodded my head hoping I could pop the question soon. "Here we go!" He ripped some sort of heart out of my body.
I was in immediate pain worse than anything I've ever experienced. The idiot that I am snapped back my wrists in the comotion, and the cuts reopened and I started to bleed.
"See that heart? That's your soul, the very cumulation of your being." I wanted to know more about my soul. I can't believe souls are real! But now's not the time, I hoped I wouldn't bleed out of the bandages and scare him off.
"Your soul starts out weak, but you can grow strong if you gain LV." I don't deserve to grow strong.
"What's LV stand for?" I said with curiosity as I realized I can move my soul. It was like moving a new appendage.
"Why, LOVE of course! You want some love, don't you?" Flowey said in a peer pressuring way. I thought that would make him happy. So I should do it.
"Ya I do! Is there a way for me to give you LOVE?" I said, trying to be thoughtful. Then I felt my wrists. They were wet with blood. Oh no this has to happen now! I can't have him know about this. I put my arms behind my back.
"Sure you can! Love is shared through… Little white friendliness pellets." I knew these pellets would probably hurt so my fingers crossed. He made the pellets and released them towards my soul. I swiftly got all of them.
It was a new kinda pain. It was different from anything I've felt. It wasn't like when I self harmed or any of the emotional hell I put myself though. This was a new type of pain. My H.P. went to one? I don't know what that means.
"You idiot. Why would ANYONE pass up an opportunity like this!" Then I knew I was finally going to die. Bullets surrounded my soul I saw the messed up joy in his eyes
"Your right I should just die. Kill me already friend." I said with my arms out in a hugging fashion showing my bleeding out bandages. I didn't care anymore. A warm smile took my face as the pellets were about to engulf my soul. But as the pullets were about to touch my soul I felt a warm comforting feeling.
I looked at my H.P., it was full and my wrist stopped bleeding. A fireball shoved Flowey out of the way.
The thought occurred to me if this counts as a failed suicidal attempt? I saw this fluffy goat woman step in. Realized that my wrist was still out and I tried to put them behind me.
"Oh no! Did that terrible creature do that to you?" The goat woman said, grabbing my wrists looking concerned. Ok, so she seems like the motherly type. If I tell her that this happened on the surface and cry she should let the whole wrist thing go. Hopefully, by then I should find a way to die.
"I-it happened on the surface! I-i…" I stopped and grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. I was really crying, I was surprised by this. But I was crying about my stupid wandering thoughts, they made me think about how every time I'm close to dead the world tries to save me!
"It's ok my child. I'm Toriel the caretaker of these ruins, let me take you home. I will see if I can completely heal your cuts." I nodded my head. I felt like a helpless child. Toriel picked me up and took me to her home.
AN: Chapters edited by AshleySylveon! Also there will be mentions of self-harm, alcoholism, and obviously suicide.