Kate was in and out of sleep. She just wanted to be left alone but instead she was poked and prodded, bright white lights shining on her. Her head felt like it was about to burst, and she was still trembling.
"Okay Kate, lie on your side for me, legs curled up" Sax asked.
Kate did as instructed and then grasped Sara's hand as tightly as she could. Sara leaned forward. "I'm right here. Squeeze my hand if it hurts okay"
"Not sure that will help" Kate sniggered.
Sara stroked Kate's pale face as Sax prepared the surgical site.
"Alright here we go, it's going to hurt but you know that already" said Sax.
"Oowwww, ouch" Kate moaned as Sax pushed the thick needle into her spinal column.
"I'm gonna throw up" Kate mumbled.
"You don't have anything in your stomach, deep breaths, stay nice and still, we're almost done"
Kate took a deep shuddering breath. Sweat beads were popping up on her nose.
"No really… throw up" Kate mumbled. The next second she was vomiting up bile all over her pillow.
"Keep her still, suction her I don't want her aspirating" said Sax to a resident with the needle still in Kate's spinal column.
"It's okay angel. Shhh, you're okay. I love you" said Sara as a resident pushed a suction tube into Kate's mouth and throat.
Kate was close to tears now. She hurt, she was scared, and she was so weak.
"I just want to go home" she cried softly.
"I know baby, let's make sure you're okay first huh" Sara kept stroking Kate's hair.
"Alright, all done. Just stay as you are for a few minutes okay" said Sax.
Kate wiped the tears from her face and took a deep, shuddering breath. Sara helped her rinse her mouth and wiped her sweaty face with a wet cloth.
"Pulse ox still kinda low Dr Sinclair, we're on 91" said a resident when Sax returned a few minutes later.
"Well at least it's coming up. It should improve after the transfusion." Said Sax.
Kate was pushed into a room. "Why am I in a room? I'm not getting admitted" Kate complained mumbling.
"You need to get some rest, it's a lot nicer and quieter here" said Sax.
"Fuuuuck" Kate exclaimed frustrated and threw her head back.
"It's okay sweetie… shhhh" Sara tried to soothe Kate. Kate still looked like crap.
"I need the bathroom" Kate said and tried to sit up.
"Hang on, take it easy" said Sax.
"I need the bathroom" Kate said determined.
"I'll go get you a bed pan" said a nurse.
"Like hell I'm peeing in a bed pan. No! It's 10 feet away. I'm going to the bathroom" Kate said stubbornly.
Sax shrugged when the nurse looked at her.
"Ok, let us help you" said the nurse.
"I don't need help" said Kate.
"Honey, please, calm down and let us help you" said Sara.
They helped Kate sit up. As soon as her legs were hanging off the bed she just lost consciousness and toppled over into Sara's arms. Sara struggled to hold up Kate's dead weight.
"Help" she said desperately.
"Dammit" Sax yelled. "Get her back in bed, get her flat, get her back on monitor and get some oxygen flowing"
The team urgently slammed Kate back in bed.
"Baby! Kate! Wake up" said Sara desperately as she held her hand on Kate's pale face.
"BP's in her boots. 60 over 40"
Sax yelled some medication orders. "And get a foley in before she can wake up and complain"
"Too late" said a nurse as she lifted the sheets. Kate had wet herself somewhere in the last few seconds.
Sara put her hand over her eyes and started crying.
"Baby, come on wake up. You're okay, you'll be okay" she kept repeating.
"Foley's in" said a nurse after removing the wet scrub pants Kate insisted on wearing and pushing a tube into Kate's bladder.
Kate eventually opened her eyes and groaned.
"Welcome back" said Sax.
"What happened?" Kate mumbled.
"You went out on us again. I'm sorry but we had to insert the foley"
"Dammit" Kate groaned but secretly she was relieved. She felt like crap.
A few minutes later a nurse was checking on Kate's blood transfusion while Sax was checking her neuro obs again.
"Kate, you're not going to like this, but I want to put in an arterial line" said Sax.
Kate was so tired she didn't even feel like fighting it.
"Uh huh?" She said softly sounding slightly annoyed. She turned on her side into the foetal position.
"Why? Why do you need that?" asked Sara sounding nervous.
"I just want a more accurate way of checking her blood gasses and her pressure"
"Fine, less poking and prodding" said Kate and closed her eyes.
"You're being very brave sweetie" said Sara and kissed Kate's knuckles. She was worried that Kate gave in so easily.
"Riiight" Kate laughed.
"You are!"
"I'm just tired of fighting" said Kate and closed her eyes.
"Lumbar puncture was clear. It's not meningitis" said Sax looking at test results on an iPad.
"Thank God" Sara sighed and kissed Kate's knuckles.
"Been in the woods lately? Think there's a chance you may have been bitten by a tick?" Sax asked while the nurse carefully inserted an arterial line into the inside of Kate's wrist.
"No, not really… Ami and I play in the back yard and go to the park. That's about it. I didn't have any bite marks though" Kate answered.
"We don't think it's an infection but we're going to keep a close eye on your infection markers. Neither the ultrasound nor the CT scan showed internal bleeding but with your numbers as low as it is, we can't rule it out just yet." Said Sax. She checked that the arterial line was secure before the nurse put an arm board on the outside of Kate's hand and forearm to stop her from accidentally bending her wrist with the arterial line in. Sara swallowed hard when the nurse stuck a sticker on the tube saying "Caution: Arterial line" She fell panic well up in her chest.
"So, you don't know what it is" said Sara and threw her hands up.
"My gut is telling me this is just the remains of her illness. Her spleen isn't making red blood cells fast enough. Explains pretty much all her symptoms. That and total and utter exhaustion coupled with malnutrition and dehydration"
"Oh for fuck sakes! Malnutrition?" Kate exclaimed and started laughing.
"Yes, malnutrition" said Sax. "How much did you eat yesterday"
"I… Look it was one day and I was busy"
"It wasn't one day Kate. You hardly ever have time to have lunch these days and when you do you just shovel the food around" said Sax.
"You do hon" said Sara.
"I… ah fuck it" Kate said and put her head back.
"I understand. You're not 100% yet and that will greatly affect your appetite. But you need to take care of yourself"
"I'm doing the best I can alright" Kate exclaimed as loudly as she could.
"I was saying… you need to rest a lot more than usual. You need to eat. You need to hydrate more. You need to take your supplements and you need to find a form of stress relief. You've been burning the candle both ends Morgan and you know it."
Kate stayed quiet and just stared at the ceiling.
"Alright, get some rest. I'll come check on you later" said Sax after a few moments.
"Sax!" Sara said just as Sax was leaving the room. She followed her outside. "Is she okay?"
"She will be. Don't worry Sara, I've got my residents monitoring her round the clock. They will page me if anything changes"
"Okay… I guess" Sara sighed.
"Why don't you go grab something to eat and drink. I'm sure she's going to be out in a minute" Sax looked over Sara's shoulder. "Scratch that, she's snoring already" she laughed.
"Maybe later, I just want to make sure she's okay. I don't feel comfortable leaving her right now"
Sara walked back into the room. Kate looked pitiful. She was awake again, curled on her side with the covers pulled up to her chin.
"I've decided I'll get into bed after all. I'm freezing" said Kate. "I mean, fuck them all… They can take care of me for a change since nobody appreciates it when I take care of anyone"
"That's right. Shhh now. Close your eyes and sleep now my love"
Sara tucked Kate in and made sure her oxygen line was secure. She kissed her on the forehead.
"Where's my pants?" Kate asked sounding confused.
"They took your pants to the laundry baby"
"I told them not to remove my pants" Kate complained.
"Uhm… well they kind of had to baby"
"Oh the catheter… Hang on… Oh god… please tell me I didn't shit myself" said Kate holding her hand over her eyes, mortified.
"No sweetie, you didn't, you just wet yourself" said Sara taking Kate's hand away from her face and kissing her knuckles.
"This is so fucking embarrasing"
"Honey you're ill, nobody is going to be making fun of you. You couldn't help it"
"Can we please never mention this again, ever!"
Sara laughed. "Okay, never happened. Get some rest now alright"
"This monitor is noisy. I don't need a monitor" Kate mumbled.
"Oh babe it can't hurt. Just go with it" Sara said knowing full well that Kate did need to be monitored.
"It's annoying"
"Sax seems to think you really need it. Shhhh just ignore it okay"
Sara stroked Kate's hair gently. Kate nodded off very soon.