"Turn around and shake my hand." His deep voice filled the silence. I thought about running but he would probably get me. I turned around, keeping my eyes on the floor because if I look at him he might see how pathetic I am.
I looked up and gave him a smile. I concentrated on his blue jacket. I grabbed his hand and it was boney!
" PHBBT" It came from his hand! I instantly jumped back. I was on the bridge, it was a deep fall under this bridge. Maybe this fall will kill me? I'll wait until his back is turned.
"Hehe. The old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. It's always funny. Anyways, you're a human, right?" What? I looked up to see he was a skeleton! But he had a forced smile like me.
"Yup! I'm Frisk. Frisk the human." I brought out my usual persona.
"That's hilarious." He's right my life is laughable. I started staring into the edge of the bridge, the darkness will take me soon. " I'm Sans. Sans the skeleton."
Hmm how can I make Sans leave. I can't just tell him to leave that would be suspicious right? This is why you don't talk to strangers.
"Hey what are you doing in this forest?" Maybe this will distract him.
"I'm actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now." My stomach dropped but then I realized. Oh he could kill me!
"Sans I'm up to be on the chopping block. Just let me know when you are ready." I gave him a thumbs up. I wonder how it would feel to have a life given to you to take. Well I guess I do but that's my own life I can take. But no one on the surface would let me.
"Uhh.." He pulled at the neck of his collar. "That's a little too eager kiddo?" Ugh another semi caring person!
"Thanks World! kill me now." I smacked my head. I just said that out loud. But before I could scold myself more I heard a new voice in the distance.
"Sans! Is that you? You better not be slacking off!" This new voice boomed through the forest, Sans seemed a little thrown off by this.
"Frisk go behind that conveniently shaped lamp before my brother Papyrus comes." When I was about to walk forward. Then I realized I can jump if I could only get him in front of me.
"You first." I stepped aside and he walked on the bridge. He did it no questions asked! I turned to the edge and I walked forward and fell. The fall was quick. The wind blew through my hair when I got to the bottom I had a sudden pain in my head. I think I fell on my head?
For a moment my mind was silent. I was finally dead. But soon my death was interrupted, I saw my soul shatter.
"You cannot give up just yet… Chara! Stay determined." That voice ringing in the darkness. It sounded like a child's voice. A million thoughts went through my head. Chara, why was their name called? Do I have their determination? Another failed attempt! I couldn't die. Was this the power to play God?! It's a curse. Can I die? Will they remember me?
Then I was immediately put back. As if the world rewinded.I was back where I stepped aside for Sans to lead. I wanted to fall to the floor and curse myself. I have no meaning in my life, one goal and I can't get it. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Sans said something but I wasn't listening, I fell again. Maybe it was just a mix up. The only thing I was determined for was death. So I fell again and again. There was no death, I was always back to where I started. Hearing the same words over and over again! I asked myself a million questions and I'm so useless that I bet I'll never find the answers. This is so frustrating!
I have to find a different way to die. There has to be one sure way to die. So the next time I came back I stepped back from the edge. I forgot what I was doing before that because I killed myself so many times my mind was a bit fuzzy.
"Ok follow me." I jumped up when I heard Sans voice, I thought I was alone. I killed myself hundreds of times in front of him. You know what? Who cares about him, I just need to die then everyone will be happy. He had his left hand for me to grab, I grabbed it because this was probably the best way to find a new way to die. Sans grabbed my hand harshly like an angry parent. He held on so tight that I couldn't get out of his grasp.
Once it started to hurt he let go. Sans pushed me forward. "Quick behind that conveniently shaped lamp." I wanted to hurry and play along, but there's no hope I don't know what to do anymore. I slowly stumbled to the lamp. I barely held my eyes open, I wanted to sleep. That's the only way I could escape my thoughts right now. I waited for a while leaning against this lamp.
"Ok, you can come out now." I stumbled out from behind the lamp, still in a sleep like trance. There's no point looking good if I'll come back. He didn't look at me. Was I happy he didn't see me like this?
No I don't I don't need anyone! I quickly walked up to the lamp. I swiftly punched the lamp hoping it would break into a million pieces and I could slit my wrist or whatever. But it didn't. I don't normally punch so this pain was new. My knuckles stinged. I stopped smiling and my armer fell.
I ran to this wooden stand hoping for something to stop this nightmare I was in. I looked in and all I found was condiments. Ketchup, mustard, and relish. Nothing useful, will this be a safe place like Mom's guest room?
" Actually, hey. Hate to bother ya, can you do me a favor? I was thinking my brother's been kinda down lately." I stopped listening. 'Just look at your wrists.' I thought about trying to calm myself down. I see a twisted beauty in scars, it proves to myself that I deserve to suffer, that I've been successful in causing myself pain. Then I looked at my wrists and there was no trace of my cuts. Not even a scar! Sans snapped me out of my mind for a moment.
"Thanks a million. I'll be up ahead." I need to find a way to end it! Why didn't I bring anything useful to the underground? I knew better, I alway survived my 'accidents'. Stay positive. Anything can die, there's always a way. Like vampires or the titanic they were brought down when people thought they would live forever.
Without realizing it I bumped into a bird. It was like my talk with flowey my soul was in the same situation. But instead of pellets there were crescents coming towards me. The thought came to me that I could try to die there and it was a new way to go. I moved to get the attacks in an instant. This is the most exercise I've gotten in awhile. I felt winded even though I didn't move my body.
I was back in the silence of nothingness. Then I was greeted hearing that child's voice! Damm that Chara! I've been stuck hearing the same thing. In that irritating voice. I just want to die and I have to see that bird again? I don't care about anyone right now, I just want to die!
This time I got a better look at him. He had blue feathers with piercing yellow eyes. Sense he can't kill me, how do I get rid of him?
"Sorry for bumping into you but I'm in a bit of a hurry." I am in a hurry to die but nevertheless I need to go. He attacked me the same way he did before I tried to mostly dodge. But when I did get hit it felt good. This new feeling is a pain that there was no evidence that I was hurt. It's like feeling like you're getting hit but not feeling the impact. Or getting that fight or flight response.
"Ice' to meet you." He told me a bad pun and I let out a small giggle. I saw his eyes light up. So I laughed harder for him. Maybe making him happy he will leave me alone."See?! Laughs! Dad was wrong!" Now he seems reluctant to fight and his attacks seem weaker. So he has Dad issues too. I think I can spare him? I spared him and I got some gold! I kept walking up counting my gold. I hope there's a bar around here that doesn't need an ID.
When I made it to the top I saw two ways to die. One is to jump into the icy cold water. Two is grab the fishing rod that was pushed into the ground and choke myself with the line. I chose to see what was behind door number two first.
I pulled out the rod and somehow it was rusty when I tried to put it around my neck it bacily dicinagreated and when I pulled it was all dust except for one lonely card. It didn't even have a lure on it. You mess up your just one big mistake. I bet you'll fuck up drouning. I'm hopeless.
To stop my amazing self talk I jumped into the icy cold water. I saw everything in my pockets float to the top except the phone it sank. I let the water fill my lungs. I deserve to die. I hurt everyone I loved. I lied to seem ok. I resisted the urge to go out of the water. I was stuck with this uncomfortable feeling of wanting to breathe. It felt like my lungs were about to explode. I was about to chicken out and go to the top. Then a potent thought came to mind. I deserve this. Then death took over me once again.
Once I thought this should work it took me a whole minute to die. Then I realized I was back where I started. I heard the voice and I was back to where I had the fishing rod in my hand! I gave up and went to see if there was anything else useful.
I saw Sans with another skeleton that was taller than him. "So, what I was saying about Undyne." He sounded so happy and carefree. I saw the curiosity and excitement in his smile. I remember when I could come off like that. I bet I could if I wanted to but what's the point?
The world faded to grey. I don't fit in here. I should be looking for another way to die, not with them. There stopping me from putting an end to these intrusive thoughts.
Wait, I could strangle myself. I'm so stupid for never thinking of that before. They were busy talking to each other. I quickly put my hand to my throat. I squeezed my hands together making my head throb. I had the simuler urge to breathe but I held on. Remember I deserve this. That was the montra I repeated over and over in my head. As my eyes began to hurt I saw their attention turn towards me. The last thing I saw was the taller skeleton run to me.
Then I died. It was the same routine, maybe my death is really impossible. No, I can't think that way. I was put back then again it was no surprise. When I saw Sans he had his smile but his eye sockets burned into my soul even when he wasn't looking. I couldn't shake the feeling he was watching me. But that's crazy it's not like monsters remember my deaths.
"Ahem. Human you shall not pass this area! I, the Great Papyrus, will stop you. Then I will capture you!" Oh he's Sans' brother. He got my attention when he said 'capture'. Then I went forward to surrender myself.
"Here I give up you got me. Kill me for my soul." When I looked at his face he seemed sad.
"Human, you will first have to go through a series of puzzles. Before I can capture you!" So he won't kill me I bet. After a few minutes they left. I was alone. My eyes were threatening to close. I walked around looking for a way to die. Nothing did the trick though. Every time I encountered someone I'd let them kill me but I would always come back.
I would think Papyrus wouldn't come up with ways to kill me. But when I saw him again he had something in store for me.
Papyrus and Sans were talking among themselves for a bit. But then they noticed me. I thought I would have to sit through another boring talk.
"In order to stop you my brother and I have created some puzzles! I think you will find this one… Quite SHOCKING!" Will he electrocute me? I'm going to finally die? "For you see, this is the invisible electricity maze!!!" I put my hand out expecting some physical pain. But I didn't feel anything. What's wrong with me? I looked up to see the taller skeleton and he was fried. Did I hurt him? I never wanted to hurt him. I need to die again. I need to suffer. Then Papyrus gave me a warm blue orb then he left leaving tracks in the snow for what I assume is a safe path.
I walk forward to feel a surge of electricity from this blue orb. It was an amazing change of pace from my soul being attacked. It stopped my thinking. The pain went through my whole body. I just stood there feeling the pain. When I died I came back to experience the pain. I would have stood there forever. I would be in this loop when I got in fights but I wasn't giving the pain. This is the closest thing I have to death. I will keep myself here. Since I have the power to play God, I can make my own hell.