Chapter Twenty: Secret Passages and Settling In

"I can't tell what I'm looking at." Neither could Remus nor Sirius. They directed their energy on trying to open the door.

"Hey, Remus why don't you try the unlocking charm."

"Me? Why me?"

"Because you successfully locked a door, the dorm door nearly a month ago. You're almost better at charms than James and Lily."

"Yes but James is better so shouldn't he…."

"But Remus if you hadn't pushed us forward we never would have reached here. So the honor is yours mate." James relented if not a bit reluctantly.

"Are you sure?" Remus asked in a small voice, not wanting to steal a privilege that really should have been James or Sirius' over his. With the faint light streaming in Remus could see James and Sirius both smiling at him encouragingly.

"Yes now go ahead the suspense is killing me." Feeling nervous, and hoping he didn't ruin this whole night by proving himself to be a failure at magic, he took out his wand.

"Alohomora." He heard a click and James and Sirius both thumped him on the back in a congratulatory manner. It felt nice and as he opened the door Remus reminded himself he shouldn't care what his roommates thought of him. Since when did he want their approval?

"Oh wow!" Remus couldn't have said it any better himself. They were in the small boathouse filled with boats they had to clamber around. But once they were free of the junk piled in the boathouse they had a clear view of where they were as they looked across the stretch of greenery at the Hogsmeade Station not far off.

"We're..."

"Outside!"

"The castle! We did it! We found a passage to Hogsmeade!"

"Well, technically Hogsmeade Station...according to Hogwarts a History it's quite a walk to Hogsmeade which is on the other side of the lake..." Remus explained, but he was breathless with awe and a twisted sense of accomplishment.

'Good enough for me!'

"Indeed this is brilliant. Don't you think so Remus?" For once Remus didn't hesitate.

"Yes, it is!" The three of them grinned at each other filled with a foolish boyish pride Remus never would have believed he was capable of feeling. He knew James and Sirius were "bad influences," but as he looked the other way out over the looming lake to the breathtaking castle of Hogwarts in the distance, he decided he didn't really care.

They sat on the edge of the lake and ate a basket of snacks that Sirius said: "Hagrid or the conductor of the train was kind enough to leave for them." Remus was against stealing but he reasoned James and Sirius were going to eat the whole thing one way or another, and he was quite hungry. It was pleasant and surprisingly peaceful.

He wasn't aware that James and Sirius had the capability to sit in silence as long as they did. But something about watching the faintest trace of dawn break out behind the giant castle was breathtaking enough to warrant silence from all three of them.

"Well…..I would call this a success don't you two think so?"

"Absolutely. Only next time we need to find a passage to Hogsmeade."

"Agreed."

"That it was a success or that next time we need to find a passage to Hogsmeade?" Remus considered the question carefully, but he was feeling unusually good with food and companionship filling him with warmth. He grinned at Sirius who looked eager for his answer.

"Both."

Sirius jumped into the air with a shout of triumph.

"So we are friends now?" The warm feeling in Remus dulled slightly and he looked from James who was watching him with a perplexed look again to Sirius who looked like a hopeful puppy dog waiting for his master to agree to take him for a walk. It was such a fitting metaphor that Remus doubled over covering his mouth and shaking with built up laughter. He tried to stop it, but it was hysterical laughter that had a life of his own, and he could not control it.

"Sorry…..sorry...you just…...you're like a puppy…" He laughed clutching his sides which hurt from the force of laughing. From laughter and joy that had been forced back for months and which were attacking him with a vengeance. He was sure James and Sirius would find him crazy but Sirius went from looking hurt to laughing himself and James upon hearing Remus' justification was laughing with as much hysteria as Remus was.

No doubt a night of no sleep adding to the hysteria, soon all three of them were clutching their sides. Remus being the first to lose his composure was the first to regain it and watched James roll on the ground laughing and Sirius doubled over gasping for breath with a sense of camaraderie for roommates he nearly despised a short few months ago. They sure had come a long way in only two months. That's what worried him.

"What's wrong?"

"What? Nothing!"

"Remus...you've got that look again."

"What look?"

"Like you've made a mistake…..you've got this sad longing look again that makes me think you're going to push us away," Sirius called him out boldly and Remus cursed the fact he was so observant again.

"I….."

"Come on Lupin it's clear you had a good time!' James called out, dusting himself off. Only he called Remus by his last name and it was clear by the discomfort on Sirius' face that he didn't like it. Remus was going to have to talk to Sirius before he told James something he shouldn't. He was both surprised and impressed that Sirius hadn't said anything to James about it... yet.

"I did. Everything is fine really. I'm just getting tired. We really should head back."

"Yeah, but we have to come back with Peter next time." James decided either believing Remus or simply letting the matter drop, it was hard to tell. Sometimes Remus thought James was more observant than Sirius even, then other times he was painstakingly oblivious.

Remus jumped on the opportunity to change the subject, and even though Sirius looked displeased about it he dropped it as well. They took in the sight and the victory of making it outside of the grounds one last time then headed back. There was much less talking this time which Remus thought was his fault but when they reached the safety of their dorm once more, he realized it was just because the other two were bone tired. They mumbled goodnights before flopping into their beds.

James passed out in record time to Remus' amusement and Sirius wasn't too far behind. Knowing sleep wasn't possible for him with so much going on through his head he gathered his belongings, got dressed for the day, and headed back out now having a better idea where to look for his own secret hideaway since it was actually early morning now. Once again he wasn't successful and resorted to the library which was luckily empty. He lost track of time in his books until he heard his name called several times.

"Remus….Remus!" He finally set down his book surprised to see Peter rushing towards him looking concerned.

"Remus I think James and Sirius are sick they aren't up yet and they never sleep in past noon."

"It's passed noon?" He asked dumbly no doubt increasing Peter's concern. The poor boy looked flustered and Remus realized he better fill him in on what happened last night before the concerned boy brought a professor's attention to it.

"...oh." Came Peter's disheartened reply after Remus had finished recounting last nights adventure in a hushed voice. His roommate looked really put out and quite hurt.

"But we all missed you. Sirius tried really hard to wake you up and James said we have to bring you along next time."

"Oh!" This seemed to do the trick and Peter was once more the earnest happy boy who wanted the other two roommates approval only a little more than Remus did. He spent the rest of the afternoon studying with Peter and eventually going to dinner with him where they had a pleasant conversation on Peter's vacation two summers ago to Egypt.

Having never been anywhere outside of England, Remus was fascinated by the account. When James and Sirius joined them near the end of dinner they both eagerly recounted the other countries they had been to.

"What about you Remus?" James asked curiously seeming a little more awake than Sirius whose head kept bobbing dangerously over a plate of mashed potatoes.

"Me?" He asked surprised having been content to just listen.

"Yes, you." James encouraged patiently.

"Oh um….well...I haven't really been outside of England…" He explained nervously, reminded once again at how different he was from his three roommates. Sure they were all different, Sirius' family especially from James' and Peter' loving homes. But all three of them were pureblood wizards with wealthy families, Remus had none of that.

"Well, we'll just have to fix that," James exclaimed brightly and Sirius who was struggling to pay attention nodded in agreement. Remus wasn't sure what that meant, but Peter did and smiled knowingly. Upon trying to find out what he had missed, his curiosity peaked, he found none of his frustrating roommates would tell him. He finally gave up with a huff causing one of James' good-natured chuckles and was surprised to find Sirius peering at him far too intently again.

"What?" He asked trying to think what he had said or done to reveal something he didn't want to be revealed again.

"How are you so awake?" James snorted at the question and elbowed Sirius nearly making him dive into his potatoes, to both of their amusement. Remus was too nervous to feel amused now though and tried to come up with a plausible answer that wouldn't raise further suspicions at his differentness.

"Sirius only you are still tired. Don't read more into something obvious again." James chided him. Remus smiled glad he had come to his rescue and said nothing to counteract this.

"But he wasn't asleep…." Sirius protested. "I only slept for a little bit, which is why I'm tired but when I woke up again Remus was gone."

Now all three of them were looking at him puzzled.

"He seemed wide awake when I met him in the library." Peter unhelpfully added. Remus felt himself growing hot at their stares again. He knew 'I'm not a wet blanket' wouldn't cover it this time.

"I guess I was just too excited to sleep. I went looking for more passages." He explained calmly, only half lying. Sirius looked skeptical at this but James and Peter seemed to buy it so that was that. Remus realized that as long as James and Peter bought his lies and excuses, and he avoided being alone with Sirius that maybe he could be sort of friends with them. So that's what he did. For the rest of the month, he found he reached the perfect balance of hanging out with his roommates, studying with Lily (and unfortunately sometimes Severus), and staying on top and even ahead of his school work.

That month they also finally began actually flying on their brooms which Remus thought he would hate but actually quite enjoyed. Of course, no one had more talent than James, even Sirius fell just a tad bit short much to the competitive boy's frustrations. Peter could handle a broom better than Remus, so like usual, he was last. But he honestly didn't mind, because any wizarding task he could even do was automatically more than he expected.

Truthfully, because James and Sirius spent most of their free time harassing the quidditch team Remus found the amount of time spent with them wasn't nearly as much as he thought it would be. Harder than that was avoiding being caught with just Sirius, who seemed increasingly determined to get Remus alone. He wasn't sure if Sirius realized Remus was deliberately avoiding him but decided he didn't care either way.

By the end of November Remus was really beginning to find his place at Hogwarts. He was enjoying himself more and more and even with the threat of the full moon looming ever nearer, he was able to have fun with his roommates. This mostly came from the interest all four of them surprisingly had in common, exploring the castle.

Remus tried really hard not to be fascinated by the adventures, especially since it meant breaking the rules. But James and Sirius realized pretty quickly that Remus wanted to go and if they pressured him enough he would eventually surrender and follow their lead. So he found himself back outside of Hogsmeade Station, this time with Peter and a proper feast. They were skipping rocks and trying to one-up each other with spells to get the rocks to do tricks or change colors.

Peter who grew up on a farm and played this game with his cousins won much to his delight. Remus didn't mind but he realized neither James and Sirius were the best sports and they challenged Peter again. Only this time Sirius pushed the poor boy into the lake which of course broke his spell. Remus found he often, had to play mediator and that this time he seemed to be the only one who cared that the sensitive boy's feelings may have been hurt.

"Oh come on Remus don't look at me like that. He needs tougher skin. We were just messing around."

"Yeah, it's fine Remus I'm fine," Peter assured him though he looked rather pitiful standing in soaking clothes shivering in the cool fall evening.

Remus had realized that even if he protested or disagreed with his roommates they would still hang out with him and want his company. This puzzled Remus but it made it easier to speak his mind. Because even though he had made them all retreat to the castle before Peter caught a cold, they went back a week later and still had a great time. Remus knew everything would have been quite perfect if it wasn't for one thing, one rather glaringly large terrible thing.

Because a month of fun was coming to an end and Remus' reality became what it always was once a month, the full moon and the wolf. The fact that the full moon was on the 26th, a Friday, meaning he'd most likely miss no classes, brought Remus little comfort. He was desperate to come up with an excuse that would prevent further interrogation and would allow Remus to hang out with his roommates longer. Problem was he couldn't really come up with anything, nothing good enough anyway.