I was finally good at something. I made my own hell. I would just walk forward and suffer. I came back over and over again. But this time when I came back I felt a bony hand on my shoulder. I've felt this hand before. My heart raced, everything goes back when I die. So someone would have to remember in order to change anything! Wait does he remember?
When I looked up and I was in a different place? I was surrounded by pine trees with Sans in front of me. So it was him. A wave of rage came over me. I wasn't sure who I was madder at. Sans for ruining my hell or me for bringing him into my hell. As I was about to over-analyze until Papyrus interrupted me.
"Sans! Human! Where are you!?" Sans covered my mouth before I could say anything. What's he going to do to me?
"Shh, kiddo listen here. Do you believe that you deserve to die?" I nodded my head. "But... somewhere in there. I can feel it. there's a glimmer of a hope inside of you. The memory of someone who once wanted to live. Even if you don't believe that let me paint you a different picture. You're living your life until everything ends. Hehe. You can't understand how this feels. The pain of watching your brother weep over the same corps over and over again thinking it was his fault." He was whisper-yelling and he pinned me up against the tree. "Knowing you will come back fine and make me watch him do this for what seems like an eternity. The agony of knowing whatever I do to make him feel better will all be reset."
I was an empty husk not knowing how to feel. He was silent, summing some sort of weapon. "I don't care who you hurt in this world as long as it's not him. If you do this again you'll have a bad time! Ok?" I nodded my head profusely not wanting to make him madder. "Sorry old lady." He whispered. I saw a bright light then I was greeted by death. Like clockwork, I was put back in front of the maze with the blue orb clenched in my hand.
Now I have someone to act for. I have to look happy for Papyrus in order to make Sans happy. Boxing up my feelings for later. I straightened my back, put on a smile, and opened up my tired eyes. I did the maze not getting electrocuted. I was playing along with Papyrus. Not dying once. Facing so many people but honestly, I don't remember any of them. I want to die but I can't. I just wanted to leave. To where? I don't know where I just need to find alcohol or something sharp. Is this what it feels like to be broken and hopeless? Walking through life without meaning or am I just jumping to conclusions.
I was walking trying to find those brothers. I wasn't paying attention but for some reason, there was a dog hanging like a pinata. I was thinking about how I made Sans suffer and how I was a terrible person.
"Human, are you ok? You are looking into nowhere." Papyrus seemed saddened which I couldn't let happen. I quickly shook my head to snap myself out of my mind. I looked at Sans to make sure he wasn't too mad.
" Yup I am!" I looked at him and smiled despite the urge to fall apart.
"Well ok human! Are you ready? Because I am!" He said that like something was going to happen. I wonder if this is the last puzzle. Then I would lose my purpose, nothing else to do. Once Papyrus left I had an important question to ask Sans. I slowly walked braving to keep my smile.
"Heya Sans, will I see you brother any time soon?" I tilted my head keeping the tears from falling out. This is the end no one will want me after that. I need to stop this pain one way or another.
"Yup kiddo feel free to do what you want. You'll see him at the end of town though." I looked at his face. I envied his smile, keeping that smile always on his face making it look so easy. Once he said 'town' I went like a bullet. Where there are towns there's booze! I ran to the nearest shop. Throwing all caution to the wind I practically shouted.
"Is there a bar around here?!" I looked at the purple bunny woman with stars in my eyes. I can finally stop this pain and worry. If I concentrate on this I won't have time to think. There was a light at the end of the tunnel.
"Yup we do, traveler. Grillby's plus he sells food. His place will be down the way." I quickly spat out a goodbye to the bunny. Did I run past a Christmas tree? But once I passed that tree I saw the most beautiful thing. It was Grillby's! This place will do. Even though it looks a little too similar to my birth giver's favorite bar. I saw fire as a bartender that must be Grillby. I immediately sat down with anticipation. Dropping all my gold onto the counter before some entitled bird tried to stop me from ordering the whole bar!
"Grillbz said that he'd offer you a glass of water, but he doesn't touch the stuff." I gave her a blank look.
"I'll just tell him what I want, please." I gave her a smile before turning to Grillby. "Can I get some strong stuff? Here's all my gold if you make me forget." I pushed the gold towards him. He looked at me with a bit of confusion. But then he started to pour me some shots. I picked one up, looked at it, and swallowed it. The burn down my throat felt good.
"WOOOOOW!" I felt the warmth surge through my body. It had a quicker effect than most drinks. I took another one. I decided to talk to some of the people. I got up and stumbled to the jukebox. I've haven't been this much of a lightweight before. I went up to some sort of pony.
"Heyyy what brings you here." I laughed at him once I realized he was wearing sunglasses INside! I bumped his sunglasses. I felt like I was gonna fall. I grabbed his shoulder.
"Woah you look like you sliding on ice. Are you ok " I had no filter on at this point.
"Yup I'm just drinking my problems." I speed walked to my seat. I kissed the bar. "More!" I slapped the bar like a child. I had shot after shot. Not after long many people left.
"Grillbz have you ever tried to die then find out you can't?" I bet he hasn't. I shouldn't have said that. "Wanna see a magic trick?" Changing to the topic I grabbed the glass and made the liquid inside disappear. " Tada!" I said as I did jazz hands. Grillbz did not seem to be happy with my trick. Some bad thoughts we're trying to get in my head. I pounded some more shots. This was fun; it felt like a weight had been taken off my chest.
The party stopped when he stopped filling the shots. I reached the bottom of the glass. "Where's the rest of it?" My face felt like it was on fire. I slammed the last shot glass before Grillby took it away from me.
"What's your name?" I was giggling again. His voice was soft with a british accent.
"Hehe, you just talked! You never talk!" I was shouting. "Oh by the way I'm Frisk. Frisk the human." I shot some finger guns at him before I said my famous pickup line. "Wanna get frisky." I tried to wink. If we're together he has to give me all the drinks. Grillbz shook his head. "I know you want to! Then we could get married and I could have all the drinks!" I spread my arms real wide and he can't resist the offer.
He took out his phone which bored me. I got up to talk to someone else. When I got up and tried to take a step I fell. I quickly got up acting like it never happened. Looking around I saw no one. Everyone left me. They hate you. Shut up. You need to be dead. Shut up. You're just like your real Mom!
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" They stopped now and it was too quiet I could hear myself think. I walked up to Grillbz even though he was on the phone. "Shot." I said assertively and cold. He better gives me one. He shook his head.
" You are a mean I hate this place. But the wedding is still on!" I need something I thought as I put my head on the bar and slammed my head on it over and over. I am like that woman. Down to the caring husband, it's just mine hasn't left me yet. I started to cry. I felt a warm hand on my back.
"Calm down just breathe. Sans will be here to pick you up." It was nice and heartfelt to say until I realized he said 'Sans'.
"Why can't I do it?" I picked my head up from the bar to find that there was a rag under my head the whole time to cushion my head.
"Can you even walk?" He sounded caring and sweet like Dad.
" Yup!" I pushed myself off the stool and I was fine. I jumped up and down. "Haha I can, I'm leaving." I stuck my tongue out. I'll never go with Sans. I was dizzy the whole walk tours the door. But as long as I was moving I was fine. I had my hand out to grab the handle. I felt myself go closer to the ground. I tried to fight it but I felt like I was gonna be sick if I did. I felt my knees and hands burn before I was on my stomach.
I slowly got up, keeping my eyes closed. I squeezed the handle to keep me grounded. "Heya Grillby. So what do ya need help with?" I heard Sans' carefree voice and I was mad. How could he be happy sounding knowing what he knows? My eyes began to open as I twisted the doorknob.
"Come on kiddo I'm gonna take you to the inn. Thanks, Grillby for keeping an eye on her." He waved his hand goodbye and tried to take me away from my husband! I can't leave him.
"No, you're not taking me from my boyfriend." He's mine. I stumbled over to Grillbz and kept a firm grasp on the bar. Sans didn't try to take me. So I decided to bug Grillby. This is my revenge for him cutting me off. I began to say his name in any way I could think of.
"Well, I guess I can take Frisk once I'm done closing. Sans, you could leave if you want." Was he talking as if I'm an annoying dog. I started to shout his name.
"It's ok I can wait. Could you give me a ketchup bottle?" Sans sat down next to me. Grillbz gave him the bottle too!
"Hey, why'd you cuts me off and not him!" Grillby just gave me a look. Then started cleaning the other tables. Did I say cuts?
"Are you even old enough to drink?" Sans said as he drank the bottle.
"Maybe." I began to giggle. I can totally lie.
"Well then how old are you?" I thought about it for a second. Hmm, I turn…at …
"Ok, I'm 16! I did the math." Sans turned around. I grabbed his ketchup that he left alone.
"Did you know Frisk was looking for gold." I looked at Grillby but he was too confused about what Sans said to notice. "Cuz she's a minor!" They had a good laugh. I smelt like ketchup. I took a sip and put it back. It was too sweet I wanted to spit it out.
They talked as Grillby cleaned up. I looked at my arms and Mom healed those too. Damn it! You know what I'll try to do the right thing with these feelings. I called Mom in hopes she'll cheer me up. I took out my phone and called. Nothing there was no response. She hates me. I'm scum and she knows it! I can't deal with this.
I climbed across the bar as quietly as possible. Then went to the bottles. This was a spy mission. I grabbed a glass bottle with liquid gold in it. As I looked at it, the place where it normally said proof. It said times. I began to drink.
"Grillby why'd ya let the kiddo get this drunk?" Sans said as I looked for another bottle.
"Well, they reminded me of you when you first found this place. But never mind that. I'm ready to out can you grab Frisk?" I'm not like him! Screw Sans. I grabbed another bottle and I felt like I was on cloud nine.
"Come on kiddo… Wait where are they?" I went out laughing. It was too funny they'll never find spy Frisk. I started to drink the bottle between laughs. Maybe I could drink it all when they leave. "Oh, there you are kiddo. Come on I'll help you up." Sans helped me up and I tried to squirm out his hold but my body felt heavy. I kept a hold of the bottle and continued to drink. It was a good feeling. But why did it have to be Sans helping me?
"Pervert!! Get off of me, I'm taken by my Grillbz!" Grillby turned around and looked at us. I continued to nurse my drink.
"*Sigh. We aren't together and how did you get that?" He walked over to me and grabbed my drink.
"No!" Before I made a fuss he did something amazing. Grillby picked me up bridal style. "Wow" I was a little sick from him moving me so quickly. Other than that I was in heaven.
"Come on princess you can't walk." His arms were a comfortable warmth. I felt like I was going to be sick. As we walk out of the bar.
"Kiddo you don't look so good." I turned to Sans as he got my attention and then I uncontrollably puked on him. Sans had a terrified look on his face as he took off his jacket. "You're really pushing your luck." He looked at me with a serious face still having that smile and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Sans there too drunk they can't really control themselves. Where almost to the inn." He thinks I can't control myself. I'll show him. I grabbed his collar and kissed him.
Piecing together my night on the floor. That's all I remember from last night. I'm terrible. I can't believe I did these things! I should die. Everyone now has a reason to hate me. I need to apologize to Grillby and ask him how much I owe him. Wait a minute where am I?