Chapter Twenty-Five: A Black Christmas

The next week was the most fun Remus would probably ever have at Hogwarts. Sirius and James were Patricia's "protegees" which basically meant they were her servants. She gave them ridiculous tasks and watched them scramble to fulfill them. Sirius and James had both questioned her ways after she told them to wash the common room windows, but one threat from her not to train them and they rushed off.

Remus knew he shouldn't be quite so amused, but James and Sirius finally seemed to meet their match, and truly the whole of the Gryffindor house found great amusement in it. It also allowed Remus to relax around the boys as he had never been able to before, both of them far too tired from Patricia's growingly challenging physical and mental tasks to even attempt to be curious about Remus.

He also realized Peter was a much better friend than he could ever hope to be, waiting for James and Sirius with cool drinks seeing as many days they finished their evening running laps around the quidditch pitch. Meanwhile, Remus had to stop himself from teasing them further, a rather devious side of him appearing he never realized he had.

They also spent several nights, since Sirius declared himself too tired to sleep which made no sense, outside Hogsmeade Station. This had become their meeting place and they could fool around loudly without the worry of percussions. Once again Remus realized how easily he could be like the others, carefree and foolish if only he wasn't a monster. So when Christmas Break came and the three boys left him with hugs and sympathies he found that his amazing mood of the past week shriveled and deteriorated.

Three days from now Remus would be in agony while his three roommates were gorging themselves on leftovers surrounded by family. He even envied Sirius, though he was still worried. But he'd still take being with a terrible family to being all alone and never hearing from his family, possibly not even having one anymore. He knew it wasn't fair of him to feel this way but he did, made much worse by the fact he still hadn't heard from his father. For all, he knew he was dead.

Luckily, no one was around to see him sulk. He was able to cry loudly in his dorm for the whole floor was deserted, all the first-year boys had gone home for the holidays. From the 23rd to the 7th Remus would be all alone on the floor. In fact, only a handful of the fifth-year Gryffindors were staying, to study. Other than that it was Remus and surprisingly enough Patricia who he avoided preferring to sulk in solitude.

Considering all the students going home left early in the morning on Thursday the 23rd Remus spent the next two days getting ahead in his studies and then exploring the castle realizing he had to find a secret passage. In the excitement of Patricia, James and Sirius had agreed to wait till after break to see the new passage the "Marvelous Remus" had found. He wished he had never lied about such a thing, wished he had never unknowingly suggested Patricia train James and Sirius, and wished they would stop calling him ridiculous names.

Saturday the 25th came and he found he felt too ill to join the feast, nor did he comprehend the small pile of presents at the end of the bed were his. Once more he was grateful his roommates weren't there for as soon as he woke up he lost his dinner from yesterday into the toilet. He could tell he had a fever and he felt worse than normal the day before considering the 26th would be the longest moon of the year.

Every step was agony and he was soon covered in sweat from the sheer exertion walking back to his bed took. He knew he should be in the hospital wing but he was already making the matron miss spending the holidays with her family, he wouldn't make her miss spending it with her friends. Then he heard the knock on his door and his stomach lurched.

"Remus. Open up or I will kid." Why oh why had he gained Patricia's attention? Why couldn't she just leave him alone? He wanted to tell her to go away but he was nervous if he opened his mouth that he'd throw up again. He tried to get to the door but the room spun and instead, he lost his fight with gravity and fell hard to the ground.

"What the hell?" He heard Patricia exclaim then she was opening the door and her irritated tone turned into one of deep concern. He felt her flip him over but his eyes kept rolling back into his head and he couldn't seem to focus on her face.

"Oh my gosh, Remus! Remus! Shit! Shit! Shit!" Her icy hand found his forehead and she swore in response though he couldn't tell why. He wanted to assure her this was normal and that he found her concern funny. But his mouth felt fuzzy and his tongue too heavy to lift. She scooped him up in her arms and was shouting for a professor or something but she sounded really far away.

"Ms. Rakepike what is the meaning of all the yelling and running through the halls? OH MY! Albus!"

"Minerva, you called? Ah, I see. Ms. Rakepike I will take him to the hospital ward thank you. Minerva if you could go let Poppy know and get her from the Great Hall. Ms. Rakepike I understand you are worried but the matron will take care of him. Please try to go back to the feast and enjoy yourself, the wizard crackers are especially exquisite this year."

Remus felt he was handed to Dumbledore whose grip was calming and seemed to make him feel marginally better.

"Alright, Headmaster. Let him know I'll be by later to check on him ok?"

"I will." Then he felt himself moving, gliding along with the air, floating even. It took him a while to realize he actually wasn't, that Dumbledore was moving and he was in his arms. Then everything got even hazier and he was pulled deep into unconsciousness.

….

Sirius was not enjoying his break. Oh, he was staying out of his mother's way alright and he quite enjoyed getting to hang out with Regulus. But overall the whole thing was dreadfully boring. He had to sit through the wedding on the 24th so as soon as he got home he was stuffed in a suit and off they went. It was a stuffy wedding as boring as the distant relatives getting married.

Yes, both relatives and both getting married to each other. Sirius found it disgusting, after all, he'd rather die than marry any of his cousins, and that included Drommie though he quite liked her. Christmas and New Years was spent at his aunt's house and only Drommie spoke to him, it seemed the Blacks had decided ignoring his presence was the best way to treat a blood-traitor as his mother had "kindly" called him upon seeing him.

But after Christmas things had gotten slightly better. He was allowed to stay at his aunts who was as disapproving as his mother, but a great deal less vocal about it. Also, there was no dementor at his aunt's house and Bella was gone getting to know her future husband, her age but already graduated like she was supposed to be.

Sadly Drommie was also away, preferring to hang out with her friends rather than constantly argue with her mother. Which meant Sirius only had to deal with Narcissa who was closest to him in age, a mere four years older but treated him like he was a dumb toddler.

"No Sirius you can't go into that room I know my mum told you!" She chided him when she caught him once again trying to enter his uncle's office. Sirius had a talent for sniffing out where the drama was happening and he knew if he could get in the office he could find out family secrets as a child he wasn't privy to yet.

"I know that Sissy I'm not dumb! That's why it's called rule-breaking." She wrinkled her nose in disdain and whipped out her wand in a clear threat.

"You wouldn't dare."

"There's plenty of adults here. We both know the ministry won't notice."

"That goes for me too then." He retorted drawing out his own wand He knew logically that he couldn't stand up to Narcissa but he presented himself with all the air of a true Black heir and she put her wand down.

"Just...quit being a child. You aren't allowed in there."

"Whatever. Why don't you go and snog the picture of Malfoy in your room." He teased. She flushed angrily and stormed away. For all her threats he knew Narcissa wouldn't really hurt him, not unless Bella was there to egg her on.

Actually, way back when they were both little they had actually been friends. Then Narcissa went to Hogwarts five years before he could and suddenly she was better than he was and wouldn't give him the time of day. If he was being honest, he missed the days when they would play chess together.

"Hey, Cissy you wanna play a game of chess later?" He asked out of sheer boredom because Regulus was with his mother, she only didn't want him around, and Drommie was gone for long stretches of the day. Narcissa turned around and for a second he thought she'd agree but then she stuck up her nose.

"I'm not falling for that. You'd probably put a dung bomb under my seat again you twat." Yep, those days were indeed over. He resigned himself to his fate and retreated to the guest room that would be his for roughly the next week and a half.

He tried to tell himself he was safer here, away from his mother's rage. But it hurt to be so unwanted just because of a stupid Hogwarts house. His mother had never been what one would call maternal and he'd never been a real kiss ass like Regulus, but her blatant disdain of him now was...upsetting. There, he admitted it.

Just because he admitted it to himself didn't mean he felt better, in fact he felt worse for it. So he caused hell the next couple of days at his aunts taking it out on the only target around, Narcissa. Drommie tried to get him to stop and he calmed down for a few days but after New Years, when he was stuck alone with his prissy boring cousin yet again for the whole day, he was at the end of his rope and he really couldn't help himself.

In fact, he reckoned he was quite justified in his pranks after having to put up with his families "pureblood" banter the night before, a topic Narcissa never ceased to irritate him with. So he carried out his plan and positioned himself in a good place to watch the chaos.

"Mother he ruined my dresses!" She shrieked rushing down the stairs in hysterics, she always had been such a drama queen.

"Sirius Black you get down here this instant!" His ain't thundered just having just got home from some gala. He thought about yelling come make me but realized he had pushed things far enough. He retreated downstairs and his aunt slapped him across the face, she was still much kinder with physical punishment than his mother.

"I was trying to help my sister taking in her unwanted burden. But I've had enough of this!"

"So you'll send me to Hogwarts?" He asked hopefully. His aunt sneered at him and shook her head.

"Uncle Alphas then?" He asked beginning to feel worried.

"No young man I am sending you back to your mother's. You can spend the last few days before school under her whip for all I care you, ungrateful cretin."

"Love you too aunty." He replied dryly but his stomach had twisted into a knot. As soon as his aunt dismissed him he rushed upstairs and slammed his door bursting into tears. He spent a very long time crying no one bothering to see if he was there, and he contemplated, not for the first time, running away.

"Knock knock."

Finally, someone had come to check on him, hours later, but even though he recognized the voice he didn't want company.

"Go away."

"Sirius let me in." Drommie sighed.

"Go away." He sniffed without really meaning it. She seemed to know this and entered anyways sitting next to him on the bed and pulling him into a half hug.

"You just can't help make things worse for yourself can you?" He knew she didn't mean it in a harsh way but his ears were still ringing from being called an unwanted burden which caused him to be a little more sensitive than he'd normally be.

"Shove off Drommie. You aren't any better snogging that muggle ...mmmm…." She had covered his mouth eyes going wide as she quickly looked to the door before flicking her wand at it, no doubt making sure no one would be able to listen in.

"Don't Sirius. Please don't tell anyone." Drommie was mostly a Black by name only, any of his other cousins would have whacked him upside the head if they were feeling nice or hex him for his mouth. But Drommie was kinder and more gentle, not weak make no mistake about that, but compassionate and merciful at times whereas her mother and sisters were cruel and cold always.

Still, he realized, not for the first time, that her pleading eyes and quiet disappointment were more effective than any slap or curse would be.

"I won't tell anyone I swear Drommie." He assured her once she finally uncovered his mouth. She relaxed a fraction, but they both still sat with the rigidity they had been taught over and over again by their respective governesses.

"You better not Sirius. You could get me in serious trouble." She hissed angrily, the closest she had ever come to threatening him. That's when he realized this Tonks boy was more serious than a stupid school fling. He could feel the blood drain from his face and when Drommie realized her mistake the color of her pale skin matched Sirius'.

"Drommie you can't. You've got to end it soon. This is your sixth year….. You can't." He whispered fearfully but a familiar guarded stubbornness had filled his cousins' eyes.

"I won't Sirius. I thought you of all people would understand."

"Understand what?"

"Somethings are more important than the family name." Sirius gasped shocked Drommie would say such a thing. If he was the black sheep of his family she was the light grey middle child sheep of hers, her sisters and mother loved her and he knew she loved them. He couldn't imagine her ruining her family name and humiliating her mother all over some boy.

"Why Drommie?" He asked trying to voice the quiet disapproval Drommie was so good at. She smiled at him sadly and sighed heavily.

"I suppose you are too young to understand such things after all. I imagine you'll understand one day though. Just... don't say anything, ok? I'll be careful Sirius I promise." He nodded still stunned then the color that had returned to his face fled again as he heard his mother's familiar screech for him.

"Get down here you terrible disappointment! You bane of my existence!" Drommie squeezed his hand tightly sympathy shining in her gentle eyes.

"You'll be back to Hogwarts in a mere two days. Hang in there, Sirius." He nodded pressing his lips together tightly.

"Sirius I mean it!" His mother shouted finally using his name. Knowing what she'd call him a third time he hurried downstairs to his executioner. She stood in the parlor room dressed in a dark blue dress a regal blue satin cape hanging around her bony shoulders.

He swallowed hard realizing she was holding her ornate gold walking stick, as she occasionally suffered from dizzy spells which Sirius suspected had to do with how worked up she could get. Her eyes were narrowed and as soon as he got close enough she whacked him hard on his legs with the stick. He buckled hitting the ground his hands keeping his face from slamming against the floor.

"You disgrace!" Whack.

"You foolish boy!" Whack whack.

"You bane of my existence you thorn in my side you terrible creature you filthy blood traitor!" She roared in one breath her face rather purple. Whack Whack Whack Whack Whack Whack! He bit down a cry as the stick got dangerously close to the back of his skull. He knew from experience his mother hated giving him a concussion as it meant a trip to Mungo's and story to concoct.

He glanced up through his long hair that had fallen into his face. Both Narcissa and Drommie were there as it was the custom for all family members to witness the often public humiliation of the black sheep within the Black family.

Narcissa was looking away with a look of boredom sketched on her ugly prissy face. Drommie went from glancing at him to looking away, her fists tightly clenching her emerald dress, her face forced into an impassive expression. ,

"Why can't you just behave!" Whack Whack Whack. She was slowing down now he could feel it, which was good because his legs were burning and his back which was now the target of the assault was beginning to ache.

"Why must you always ruin my day!" Whack! He waited, he knew his time for "remorse" would come soon in which he'd be expected to grovel for her forgiveness, to apologize for his "unacceptable" behavior.

"What do you…" Whack!

"Have to say for yourself."

"I apologize mother." He responded cooly ducking his head quickly as she brought the stick down hard on his shoulders.

"Making me come all the way from Grimmauld Manner to fetch you like you're some urchin brat! Disrespecting your aunt and your cousins!" Whack!

"Well? Apologize to them!" She finally set her walking stick down leaning heavily on it her breathing shallow. He hoped she died he thought to himself darkly, imagining her keeling over light leaving her malicious eyes. He struggled to his feet feeling blood ooze down his legs.

"I'm sorry Auntie. Sorry, Narcissa." His aunt and cousin nodded, both of them quietly disapproving of the intensity of his mother's punishment.

"Sister if you don't want him I will take him back home. But "they" are there and this filthy traitor would ruin everything if he were home."

"He can stay here." His aunt responded cooly only hesitating for a minute.

"Good I will be back to fetch him tomorrow night so he can have his farewell dinner at home." By her tone, Sirius knew there was more than a dinner awaiting him there and he shuddered.

"Very well. Good evening." His aunt replied curtsying respectfully to her sister who did the same. Then his mother stepped into the flames and was gone, the silence following so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Go get cleaned up for supper." His aunt dismissed him coldly.

"I don't want blood on my good seats." She added with as much concern for him as someone might give a dirty mutt. He noticed Drommie open her mouth looking like she might say something but a sharp look from her mother and she shut it once more tipping her head in a respectable lady fashion. They all were bloody nuts.

He struggled to get upstairs and into the tub letting the warm water soothe his wounds. Then he got out, dressed, and waited, knowing either Drommie or his Aunt would place the cream on his back and legs that would completely erase all evidence of his mother's explosive behavior.

Apparently, his aunt was still irritated because it was Drommie who entered going over to Sirius who was laying on his bed shirtless, they had done this routine many times before.

"How bad was it this time?" She asked gently applying the pain obliviating creme, pretending like they usually did that she hadn't witnessed it first hand.

"Same as always." He sighed sitting up now completely better and rolling down his trousers before throwing a dress shirt over his head.

"She'll be taking you to the basement tomorrow night, won't she? I don't understand Sirius why can't you simply behave." She scolded and fretted at the same time taking a comb to his hair in a motherly fashion. In many ways, his cousin was more his mother than his mother ever would be, even though there was only a five-year difference between them.

"Because otherwise, I feel like I'm going mad."

"It was only for two weeks Sirius."

"Yes, and it was bloody hard waiting as long as I did to get to this point."

"You missed her didn't you?"

"No!" He protested immediately, though even he had to admit he sounded like a whiny child. He cleared his throat.

"I just…..I wasn't even able to see Regulus for more than a few days. I mean being a Gryffindor shouldn't mean I can never see my family again….. She…..she hates me now...she disliked me before on occasion, but now…..now she really hates me." He was sure he wouldn't cry, not over his useless mother, but he couldn't help the hot traitorous tears that trickled down his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

For a Black lady to cry it was improper but for a Black gentleman to cry was scandalous and unheard of. Sirius hadn't cried in front of anyone since he was seven. Luckily Drommie wouldn't tell a soul and she didn't seem to mind, her tone if possible more gentle and understanding than before.

"She doesn't hate you. Deep deep down she loves you. She's just under a lot of stress. You will be let back into your house your mother just...needs to get used to the idea of you being a Gryffindor. We were all hoping, expecting, you'd be a Slytherin. She'll come around, you'll see." He wasn't sure how much he believed her but it made him feel better all the same.

"You know you're my favorite right Drommie." She smiled and tossed her invisible locks in a mocking Narcissa fashion.

"Oh, I know." He laughed and they headed down for supper together.