Sam
"It's so weird being back," Artie said, Monday afternoon, as he rolled down the all-too-familiar corridors of McKinley High. "I feel like a different person than I was just five months ago at graduation."
"That's because you are a different person now," Sam reminded him, causing Artie to glance up and give him a quizzical look. "So, own it."
The New Directions alumni group text had been blowing up ever since Sectionals and Artie's "Wheel Birthday Party," and over the course of many messages, they collectively made a plan to visit their old stomping grounds on the Monday afternoon that school was back in session for two days.
Rounding the corner, the pair were met by a familiar face.
"Sam! Artie!" Mike Chang greeted them as he pulled both of his friends in for a hug. "Dude, Artie, you been working out, man?"
After Artie flashed his guns, Sam proudly told Mike all about swimming and how Artie was going after Paralympic gold in 2016, while he was making literal waves as the first male member in a traditionally female sport.
"How was 'Don Quixote?'" asked Artie, who'd paid enough attention to recall the name of the ballet that Mike had starred in. Sam leaned forward eagerly, just pretending he'd remembered as well.
"Great, but I'm glad it's over," Mike said. "I was a little frustrated that we added three shows this past weekend. I hated missing Sectionals. And Tina said something about there being a party last night?"
"For him," Sam informed Mike, gesturing at Artie with his thumb. "We were celebrating the eleventh anniversary of his wheels. With cake."
As Artie just nodded matter-of-factly at that, Mike managed not to look totally dumbfounded by that explanation.
Sam knew he had taken a huge gamble when he'd picked up that cake and invited everyone over. Artie could have been offended and could have hated the whole thing. But he'd decided just to go for it and to humbly beg forgiveness later, if it turned out badly. Sam figured that, if he knew Artie as well as he thought he did, the other guy would appreciate a little humor. And maybe, just maybe, it could be the first of many celebrations that would ultimately change the tone of the otherwise upsetting day for Artie and his family. At least, that was sort of what Amy had said later that night, when she'd tried to make out with him again. And, okay, admittedly, Sam hadn't exactly refused her advances.
The trio continued down the hallway towards the Glee Club's safe haven.
Artie glanced to his left, briefly staring into the dark astronomy classroom. Sam followed his gaze, remembering how he and Quinn used to meet here during the brief period in which they'd dabbled in starting a relationship. Sam knew, for Artie had told him, that when he and Kitty had dated in secret for awhile, they had met here, too.
"A lot of memories in there, huh?" Sam commented, as Artie gave a brief hum of affirmation.
"Nice of you to finally show up," Tina playfully teased her best friends as they entered the choir room. The alumni were mingling at the piano and the current members were seated on the risers. "We were waiting for you guys!"
Artie, Sam, and Mike gave hugs and fist bumps to the other former members who had come back for the day — Quinn, Tina, Kurt, Blaine, Rachel, Mercedes, of course. And added to their number now were Puck, Brittany, and Santana. For the first time in months, the entire group was reunited.
Artie made eye contact with Kitty and gave her a wave, accompanied by a small smile. She returned the gesture, before quickly averting her eyes. Sam was disappointed, as he watched the whole thing transpire. He'd felt encouraged when Kitty had accepted his invitation to the "wheel birthday," but now it looked like these two were going to go back to trying to erase their entire history.
"Where's Mr. Schue?" Puck wondered out loud.
"Oh, he and Ms. Pillsbury went on a Baby Moon to Paris!" That was Mercedes, who led the girls in a round of excited giggles at that.
"I'd make a baby with someone if they took me to Paris." That came from Kitty, making her usual wise crack from the back of the room, and Sam didn't exactly mean to look at Artie, and then at Ryder, before promptly looking back at the floor.
"Likewise," said a voice, in the doorway, and Amy Abrams poked her head in. She grinned before stepping into the room, strutting like she owned the place, carrying a stack of sheet music as she entered. "Lots of great memories in this room. By the way, hi, I'm Amy Abrams. Artie's sister. Class of 2009. I just missed being with some of you by a year."
"Amy!" Sam greeted her, a little too enthusiastically.
"What are you doing here?" Artie asked her through gritted teeth as he wheeled over. She placed her hand on his shoulder and laughed, dropping the sheet music she was holding into his lap.
"Didn't I tell you? I'm subbing."
"Well, yes, you said that, but you didn't tell me that you were hijacking Glee Club!"
"Oh, did I fail to mention that?" she asked with a playful smirk on her face. "Oops."
Artie pouted before wheeling himself back in the empty space between Sam and Tina. He watched as Amy addressed the club, congratulating them on their Sectionals win, and told them that they would be using today to start a discussion about which songs they would be performing at Regionals. This announcement elicited an exuberant chatter amongst the current members.
Sam knew Mr. Schue well enough to know that he would never leave the set list up to the kids, much less under the supervision of a substitute, for that matter. Amy had to be deviating from the lesson plans that were left for her.
"Before we start on choosing songs, I thought we might start by introducing ourselves," she said. "I know everyone in the current club all knows each other, but since the alumni are here and since I don't know you, and I hope to become Schue's regular sub, then just humor me." She gestured to Kitty in the back. "Wanna start us off, Kitty?"
"Sure," she said, jumping to her feet, and the claws were out today. "I'm not sure Rachel Berry even knew our names."
As Rachel turned to protest, however, Brittany was the one who spoke up then. "I know your name," she said. "It's Quinn."
Kitty looked as though she didn't mind much, being that the Quinn comparison had long been something she bragged about. "Kitty Wilde," she said. "Junior. Homecoming court. Head Cheerio."
Ryder jumped up beside her. "Ryder Lynn," he said. "Junior. Quarterback. Dyslexic." Sam reached back to slap him a high five, as Artie cracked a smile beside him.
"Jake Puckerman. Uh, his brother," Jake said, as Puck turned around to give a fist bump. "And my goal in life is to grow up to be like this guy." He pointed at Mike Chang, who just beamed, as Puck shot him a dirty look.
Unique stood up, as Brittany gave her a wink and a loudly whispered greeting, "Hiiii Mercedes."
"I do appreciate the comparison, but no." Unique smiled and found a blushing Mercedes, making eye contact with her role model. "If, however, Ms. Jones ever goes on tour with Ariana Grande again and needs a backup singer, I'd be thrilled to accept that invitation. Oh, and I needed no introduction, but if we haven't met... I'm Unique. Ms. Adams, if you're nasty."
"Was all of that necessary?" Kitty smirked as Unique glanced over her shoulder.
"I'll go next," Marley said, casting an annoyed glance at Kitty — as close annoyed as Marley ever really got anyway. "Hi, Marley Rose, Junior. Um, that's it. Oh! I joined Brainiacs this year, and I know a few of the alumni were in it before so..."
That got a collective whoop from Artie, Tina, Mike, and Brittany.
Madison and Mason stood at the same time, and she did the talking. "We're Madison and Mason McCarty," she said. "We're twins, we're seniors, we're Cheerios, we transferred from Chicago this year, and we couldn't be more stoked for Regionals."
"Jane Hayward," said the black girl seated on the other side of Mason, who Sam noticed was staring at her, unbeknownst to his sister. (Sam had an eagle eye for stuff like that.) "Sophomore. I was going to try to become the first female Warbler, seeing as all the men in my family went there, but then I realized I could do better."
Blaine opened his mouth, as though to speak, but quickly closed it. He did, however, look a little offended by that. He'd never quite decided where his loyalties lie.
"Spencer Porter," said the guy on the other side of Jane. "Sophomore. Back up quarterback, if that guy gets hurt." He nodded at Ryder. "And, to the shock and dismay of the Cheerios, especially the guy ones, I'm currently unavailable... as I have a boyfriend."
"No one finds that the least bit shocking," Kurt commented, tossing his enormous scarf over his shoulder and smirking.
"Alistair O'Connell," said the long-haired redhead, shyly. "Uh, his-his boyfriend. And a lot of you know my cousin, Rory Flanagan. He spoke highly of his time here, so I decided to give it a go and be an exchange student, too."
"Where's your accent?" Tina wondered aloud.
"He's too embarrassed to use his real accent, so he does this phony American accent all the time," Spencer piped up. He shot a sly look at Alistair. "Sometimes, he forgets."
The heavy guy with the headphones looked thoroughly uninterested in introducing himself. He slipped them off just long enough to say, "Roderick Meeks. Freshman."
"You all know me," the petite girl, who'd inexplicably been wearing sunglasses the whole time, stood and tilted her glasses down, giving an exaggerated wink. "I'm a senior this year. It's the year of Sugar Motta, baby." She blew a kiss at Alistair. "That's from me to your cutie pie cousin, Rory. I miss him."
"Uh, hey guys, Joe Hart," said the guy, who gave a shy wave and only rose halfway out of his seat before sitting back down. "Senior. Christian. Missionary kid, but I convinced my parents that I needed a normal senior year, complete with a Nationals win for glee club, with any luck."
"Alright!" Amy applauded. During this time, she'd managed to find where Mr. Schue kept his markers, and, looking like she knew what she was doing, she wrote on the board: "Recruitment!"
"We have thirteen members," Kitty said, narrowing her eyes. "That's one more than we even need to compete. Why would we bother with recruiting people now?"
"Think ahead a little, will you?" Amy said, strolling towards Kitty's side of the room. "You have four graduating seniors, so already, that's four spots to fill for next year. And you only have one freshman." She turned to Roderick. "Surely you know someone who might be interested in joining?"
Roderick just shook his head.
"First of all, I think you need at least 15 to 20 people to really fill the stage and make a bigger impression," Amy said, as some of the alumni were now nodding in agreement with her. "Just look at how impressive this room is, filled with twenty-six performers!"
"As long as you don't lower the standards for talent," said Rachel Berry, who wouldn't be able to hold her comment back if you paid her.
"Totally," Sugar nodded enthusiastically, smacking the enormous wad of gum she was chewing.
"Secondly," Amy went on. "Since there are thirteen members now and twelve alumni here today, I'm proposing that we draw random partners from a hat and spend the rest of rehearsal planning out a short, 1-2 minute song to present to the rest of the club tomorrow. It's just what I like to call Inspiration Porn."
"Someone needs to tell her she could get fired for talking about porn with a bunch of minors," Sam muttered to Artie, who put his head in his hands dramatically. That poor word choice aside, though, Sam thought Amy's idea was brilliant.
"It seems like the kids really like her," Sam heard Tina telling Artie. "She's like a modern-day Holly Holliday."
At this, Artie rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair.
"First, Sam falls in love with her," he commented. "Now, everybody else does."
Sam was about to protest and say that he was not in love with her, when were interrupted by the appearance of none other than Sam's former McKinley faculty member crush, nurse Penny.
"I need to see Roderick in my office for a few minutes," she was saying, as Amy turned to notice her in the doorway. Looking over Amy's shoulder, she gave a little wave. "Oh, hi, Sam! Visiting for the holiday?"
"Hey, Penny," Sam said, waving back. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched both Amy and Mercedes, giving a nervous swallow. The three women he was equally obsessed with — okay, maybe not equally, as things had really escalated with Amy ever since he started occupying the bedroom by hers — were all in the same room.
Meanwhile, Roderick looked embarrassed to be singled out, in the room full of upperclassmen and alumni, and he quickly slunk off the risers, across the room, and into the hallway before anyone could take too much notice of him.
"Alright, we'll let you know who you get paired with when you get back, Roderick," Amy said, as she busied herself with writing on the back of an old piece of sheet music.
"What are you writing on?" Artie demanded.
Amy shrugged and flipped it over. "Some tired old song called 'Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat," she said, as she proceeded to flip it back over, finishing writing the names of the alumni and herself, and then tore the page into tiny shreds. The expression on Artie's face didn't explain to Sam why he cared about the sheet music, only that he did care and Amy appeared quite unconcerned about that.
"Alright, line up, New Directions, and we'll see who you get as your mentor! And we'll pair ladies with ladies and gents with gents. We do have one extra guy, so someone will share." As it worked out, Amy's quirky style choices today included a tuque. She removed her "hat" and filled it with the girls' names.
Kitty was first. "Quinn," she said, looking proud of her draw, as she locked eyes with the older version of herself, as some saw it.
Next was Marley. "Uh, San-Santana," she stuttered, as Santana gave her a sickly sweet smile.
"Don't believe half of the lies they've told you about me," Santana said, in the direction of the brunette. "Besides, I've outgrown my old habit of brutal honestly. Now I only say some of what I'm thinking about the rest of you."
Unique got the next slip of paper and tried to hide her disappointment over not getting Mercedes. "Rachel," she said.
Mercedes wound up with Jane, Sugar drew Tina's name, and Brittany ended up with Madison. These pairings were a bit random, but that was the way Amy had intended for it to go.
The guys were next. When Spencer drew Blaine and Alistair drew Kurt, Amy swore up and down that she hadn't rigged it. Next, Jake looked thrilled when he ended up with Mike, Ryder got Puck, Mason got Artie, and Joe drew Sam's name.
Easy enough, except they'd forgotten their freshman.
"Sam, you can handle two mentees, right?" Amy had cut off Artie, who looked like he'd been speaking up to volunteer to be the one with two mentees.
"Uh, su-sure," Sam heard himself stammer.
"Good," she said, perching on the piano with a smirk. "Everyone, pair off and get to work on something to sing tomorrow. Joe, Sam... would you go check on your other partner and maybe use the nurse's office to brainstorm for a bit, if he'll be there much longer?"
Saw was reminded of all the times he'd made excuses to visit the nurse. It looked like Artie, who had been one of Sam's excuses once himself, remembered. He raised his eyebrows as Sam agreed to this, while Sam tried to look unaware. Behind Artie, he could see Mercedes watching him, too.
In the words of Uncle Jesse, have mercy.