Artie

"Hey, Artie, you up yet?"

Artie was typically the first one up, on any given morning. It was just his routine. Not today. Artie-with-a-hangover was still lying in bed, waking up and drifting off to sleep again, over and over. Finally, it occurred to him that he had better get up, if he wanted to avoid getting a UTI from his bad decisions, combined with sleeping in.

Amy knocked again, louder this time. "Hey, Artie, I wanted to tell you that Sam's family is here and we're gonna have sandwiches for lunch."

Artie raised himself up to a seated position. "They're already here?"

"Yeah, since last night," she said, from the other side of the door, and Artie could hear her getting impatient with him. "Try to hurry up, okay?"

Hurry up wasn't all that easy under normal circumstances. With a pounding headache from the hangover, it was twice as hard. Luckily, his family knew enough to know not to wait on him for lunch. And also lucky for him, his sister knew the thing to cure what ailed him.

"Hair of the dog that done bit yo' ass," she said, grinning down wickedly at him as she intercepted him on his way to the kitchen an hour or so later, thermos in hand. He gratefully took the offering from her and guzzled it, making a face. It was gross but it always worked. Amy was the one who taught him about the magic of the Bloody Mary in the first place.

"You're an angel," he replied, groggily, as he capped the thermos and tucked it between his knees. "Hopefully they'll all just think that it's coffee. You said Sam's family is already here? I thought they weren't coming until later."

"Well, change of plans, they got here last night," she said, shrugging. "His siblings are the cutest. I just adore them. Come on into the kitchen as quickly as you can."

"Nice, I would have to look like something the cat drug in," Artie commented, running his fingers through his hair and forcing his eyes to open all the way. He wasn't wearing his contacts today, as his eyes were just too tired for that, so he stuck with his glasses.

"Good of you to join us," Nancy teased, as Artie wheeled into the kitchen. She took one look at the thermos and arched an eyebrow at Artie, who said nothing, taking his place at the table by Sam and his little brother and sister.

His mother handed him a plate with half a tuna sandwich. "We're eating a light lunch, on account of Thanksgiving dinner this evening," she explained.

Artie didn't know if he could stomach the tuna. The smell alone triggered his gag reflex a little. He subtly pushed it away and took a swig of his "coffee." He was good with waiting until tonight to eat. If anyone asked, he was just holding out for the good stuff.

"Hi!" said the little girl, brightly, directing her big-mouthed grin at Artie. The little boy, his mouth full of the sandwich he was chewing, just gave Artie a shy wave. It had been awhile but they seemed to remember him from all the times he'd given Sam and his siblings rides home from school. Kids tended to remember Artie.

"Hey there," he said. "It's been awhile. You sure have grown."

"I'm taller than Stevie now," she bragged. "Wanna play Minecraft with us later?"

"Sure," Artie said, with a grin. Minecraft was something he'd be able to handle today, even with the nagging headache. "I love Minecraft. Do you guys play a lot?"

Stacey nodded. "Me and Stevie play all the time," she said. "Not Sammy. He's usually busy." She made a face at him. "He's only ever built one house with us."

"Yeah, but it was an awesome house," Sam said, defensively, giving Stacey a playful nudge. "I worked on that thing for at least a month."

"Hi, Artie, it's nice to see you again," said Sam's mother, Mary, a young-looking, attractive blonde woman. It was weird to describe anyone's mother as attractive, but that's what she was. She didn't even look old enough to be his mother.

Sam's father, Dwight looked pretty young, too. In fact, neither of them looked like they should have names like Mary and Dwight. Artie supposed they were like him, and someone had once unfortunately named them after a grandparent. He didn't want to ask, but Mary and Dwight hardly even looked like they could be in their forties. But Artie couldn't say that he was well-versed in what people their parents' age ought to look like.

Nancy noticed that Artie had pushed the sandwich away. "How about some plain toast instead?" she asked, knowingly, as Artie gave an appreciative nod and she took the sandwich back.

"I'll eat it," Stevie offered, holding out a hand to take the sandwich. "I'm a growing guy. I'm gonna be as big as Sam and play football."

"How old are you now?" Artie asked the boy.

"Ten," Stevie told Artie, proudly. "Double digits. And Stacey is nine. Still single digits."

The lingering question on Artie's mind was: Why was Sam so much older than these two? He didn't say it, of course, as he'd learned a little about what not to say out loud in the past few years. But Mary seemed to sense his curiosity and felt the need to explain.

"Sam is the same age now as his dad and I when he was born," Mary said, as she came up behind Sam, who blushed a little at that. "Eighteen. As a matter of fact, we left our high school graduation and went straight to the hospital. Sam was born just a few hours after we got there."

"Now that's a birth story," said Amy, coming to the table to bring Artie his toast. She smiled ruefully at Sam. Artie wondered if his sister had done the math yet. This would make Mary Evans thirty-six now. Only thirteen years older than Amy!

Dwight chuckled. "It really was," he said. "I don't remember a lot about my graduation. Only that I was seated by Mary — we'd gotten married already and she'd changed her name, so I got to sit by her. I was just sitting there, timing her contractions."

"Best graduation gift ever," Mary added, smiling down at her oldest son, whose face currently blinked like a stoplight.

"This seems like more information than anyone was asking for," Sam said, standing up. "So, um, who's up for Minecraft? That sounds fun."

"Or we could ride our bikes," Stevie piped up, as he polished off the second tuna sandwich in record time. "Dad brought them in the back of the truck."

"There are lots of bike trails behind our house," Artie told him. "You guys could do that first, then come back for Minecraft later."

It sounded like a good plan. Get the kids out of the house and tire them out first, and in the meantime, Artie could take a nap and, with any luck, sleep off the hangover that he hadn't counted on having while Sam's family was there.

"Artie, you wanna ride bikes with us?" Stacey asked. When she saw Stevie rolling his eyes, she just looked baffled. "What? A bike has wheels."

Artie tried to help her out a little. "It does," he said, gently. "Uh, but most bikes, you pedal with your feet though. But I'll come show you where the entrance to the trail is, okay?"

"Oh, okay," Stacey said, in a small voice, and Artie still felt bad that the little girl had gotten embarrassed over her misunderstanding.

A little later, with Artie leading the way on his own wheels (his headache still present, but tolerable thanks to the 'hair of the dog') and Sam riding Amy's old bike, the four of them found the entrance to the trails that were behind Artie's house.

"You coming?" This time it was Stevie who had asked Artie that, as it looked like Stacey had decided to hold back all of her questions, for fear of further embarrassment.

"It's a little too bumpy and grassy for me," Artie explained. "But you guys go ahead and stick with Sam, okay? I got lost back here once for like two hours or something. But I didn't really care, I just kept riding. My mom was mad though." He chuckled at the memory.

"But I thought you couldn't ride a bike," Stevie said, screwing up his face in confusion.

"He used to ride, Stevie," Sam explained, before Artie could answer. "Before he was in a wheelchair, when he was a kid. He was in a car accident."

In all the time that Artie had known the kids, this hadn't come up. But they were older and wiser now, which meant there were more questions.

"You can ask me about the chair and stuff," Artie added, smiling at the concerned-looking kid. He thought it was kind of fitting, that Sam's little brother seemed to be the sensitive type, with his heart on his sleeve, just like Sam. "I don't mind. Anyway, I'll see you guys later, okay? Have fun."

And with that all finally said, to clear the air for the kids, Artie wheeled back home and didn't feel too badly about having to ditch Sam and his siblings. Afterall, his bed was calling him.

After the kids and Sam returned, dirty but satisfied from their ride on the trails, after a shower for Sam, and after several hours of Minecraft had been played in the upstairs den, it was finally time to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner.

The kids were pretty intrigued by Artie's inchworm technique of getting up and down the stairs. Artie loved the way kids asked the most honest questions, and in the most innocent of ways. Stevie just wanted to know if Artie had ever thought about getting on top of the couch cushion and just surfing down the stairs instead. He also asked, did Artie want a demonstration? Sam and Artie cracked up at this suggestion. Kids' brains were amazing.

Thanksgiving consisted of the usual spread of traditional family favorites, plus some great additions from the Evans family, including Sam's mom's corn casserole and sweet potato casserole. All that Artie had contributed this year was the homemade cherry pie, but it was a good one.

"Mind if I say the blessing?" Dwight had asked, when they were all seated, and when no one objected, the two families joined hands around the table. "Lord, thank you for our new friends, the Abrams family. Thank you for putting Sam and Artie together for college. We pray for their success. Thank you for this meal and the hands that prepared it. Amen."

"Amen," Artie's eyes met Amy's, who held his gaze for a moment before dropping her eyes to her plate.

He wondered if she was going to start going to church with Sam now or not. Was that going to be a stipulation for these two dating? Sam was pretty religious and, meanwhile, Amy was kind of anti-church. Maybe not anti-God, or at least Artie didn't think so, but definitely anti-church. So many things they hadn't thought about before they decided to jump into this relationship.

"So, Amy," Sam's mom was saying. "Sam was telling us you finished your teaching degree at Ohio State back in May?"

Amy nodded, washing down a bit of food. "Yes, and I just got my certification to teach early childhood through eighth grade. I haven't found a permanent job yet but I've been doing a lot of subbing," she said. "Just trying to find a good fit for me."

"She did a great job subbing for Mr. Schue this week," Sam added.

Amy grinned at him. "Thanks, Sam. Actually, I just found out about a long-term sub job that I think I'm gonna take in Lima after the Christmas holidays," she said. "It's covering a maternity leave, so it's gonna be twelve weeks, starting in January."

"Do people actually need twelve whole weeks off after they have a baby?" Artie wondered aloud.

"At least!" That was Nancy and Mary, in unison.

Amy just shrugged. "I have no idea," she said. "But what's cool about this, is that the teacher I'm covering for is the advisor for the middle school glee club. I get to coach a bunch of seventh and eighth graders to do what the New Directions do!"

"Sounds perfect for you, Ames," Artie said. "Maybe if you stick around, you'll be the next Mr. Schue."

"Just don't start wearing vests," Sam added.

"They already told me about some eighth grade kid named Myron," she went on. "I guess he's like, related to the superintendent, like his nephew or something. Anyway, he's apparently entitled to all of the solos."

"Sounds like it's gonna be real fun when he gets to high school next year," Artie added, with an eye-roll.

"Maybe I can pretend nobody told me," Amy said, with a wry smile. Artie hoped, for her sake, that if she did deny this Myron kid his solos, it wouldn't come back to bite her.

"So... you'll be in Lima then." Sam commented. Artie knew Sam was probably wishing she had searched for jobs in Columbus instead.

"More reason for you boys to visit home more often now," Nancy added, with a wink to Sam. His mom had no objection, it seemed, to the grossly-inappropriate age difference between Amy and her new beau. Quite the contrary, it looked like Sam had her full approval.

And yes, Artie knew if he said anything to his mother, she'd bring up him and Kitty. To which Artie would say, and that's why it didn't work out. It wasn't Artie's fault that he knew where this was headed.

"Is it time for pie yet?" asked Stevie, who had already devoured everything on his plate.