Title: We Can Be Alone Together
Summary: Vanya's dull life gets a bit more interesting as she meets with a stranger in a hotel room.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
With everyone enjoying themselves and not really paying much attention to her, it wasn't all that hard to sneak out of the large reception. She would probably manage to do so sooner and without anyone noticing, but the polite woman inside her forced her despite how uncomfortable she felt to stay a little longer. A very bad habit of hers to please anyone whether they wanted it or not. Good thing, her phone started to demand to recharge, or she would guilt herself to another hour or so.
In her room, Vanya collapsed on top of the bed staring at the ceiling for a few moments. Would it really be so horrible if she stayed in the room? It wasn't like anyone would miss her. The wedding was large and even if some people, mainly her co-workers, knew she was present they hardly would wonder where she went or worry about her if they didn't see her. It was usually like that. If Vanya left the room, it was almost like she left the existence altogether. At least that was how she felt about it all.
The room was nice, and it saved her from the numbing music downstairs. Everything was okay for a while. Despite her age, it was the first wedding Vanya had ever attended. Unlike her siblings who occasionally got invited to royal weddings, this was a completely new experience for her. She took her time and the advice of the shop clerk of the store she bought her expensive dress trying to comfort herself that she would wear it again someday. She even got her hair done feeling a bit better while listening to the bubbly nature of her hairdresser. Maybe she would come there more often from now on. She seemed nice and her stories were pretty funny.
She then took a cab and met up with some of her colleagues who were smoking outside catching about the happy couple, the hotel, work, and other things. She was seated next to most of them, so it wasn't completely awkward at first. They drank a bit, ate, talked. All in all, it was nice, and Vanya could almost say she enjoyed herself, but then the dancing started and people started to couple up and switch places, and she was surrounded by faces she didn't recognize and that always brought that painful feeling of disappearing in the crowd of faceless people who wouldn't even notice she was gone.
It was a bit painful. She wouldn't have thought something like a wedding could cause her to feel so alone, but seeing the family members all happy for the couple, she left a dull pain inside her chest. She doubted she would ever be invited to her siblings' weddings. According to tabloids Vanya occasionally glanced at, Allison and her boyfriend Patrick were a sure thing and rumors of potential engagement or wedding circled in the papers for a few months now. Luther was still stuck in the house, and Vanya doubted he would ever leave it long enough to find someone if it wasn't because of a mission. Also seeing Allison with her boyfriend must not have been fun for him. For some reason, she was sure, Diego was dating someone, but she couldn't remember who exactly told her or if she saw them herself. Since she personally didn't see him in months as well, she was sure she wouldn't be on any guest list. And Klaus would most likely if ever have a quick Las Vegas wedding affair.
Sitting up, she grimaced at herself as she almost processed to think about her other siblings before she reminded herself that they were gone. It was stupid. Even after all those years, every time, she thought about all of them she always continued to think about Five and Ben like they were still here. She couldn't help herself. There were seven children living in the mansion, seven siblings, seven Hargreeves. And there always will be. Even if Ben was dead, she couldn't cut him out of the world of the living and her memories, and as for Five, she would probably always make peanut butter sandwiches with marshmallows for him even if only in her mind.
She put her phone to the charger and decided to return to the wedding. There was no point in continuing to be miserable on her own like this tonight. She could have plenty of that once she got home.
It was pointless in her mind to think about her own wedding, and if she would invite her siblings. She couldn't imagine herself in a pretty white dress and engaging with people the way her co-workers did. Hell, she couldn't even imaging wanting to marry anyone. Most of her boyfriends seemed more like passing time activities than actual people. It was mostly her fault, she knew that. She wanted normality that was never given to her growing up, but once she had it, she didn't really know what to do with it usually shutting the people out completely.
Thanks, dad.
Her life truly became dull and empty. She couldn't explain it. In the Academy, she felt alone, yes, but there were always some glimpses of hope. Whenever Luther asked her how she was in a way a decent older brother would. Or when Diego came to her to rant about dad out of the blue since he knew she wouldn't interrupt into his speech and make him nervous. Whenever Allison wanted to play sisters complaining about boys or just feeling generous enough. When Klaus decided to tell her something hilarious that popped into his mind because he was Klaus. When Ben came to read out loud to her to share his thoughts on a book. When Five…
There just were moments of light when even in the grey sad mansion, she felt happy and a part of the family even if she often felt alone. However, now as an adult living alone, she truly understood the meaning of the word. She wasn't in contact with her family. She didn't have any too close friends she could talk to or call. She didn't even have any long-term relationships. Everything in her life felt empty and that made her feel lonely in a way not even an extra pill could numb down. Strange.
Vanya wished she could somehow fill the void. She tried hobbies, but overall, when she felt the familiar feeling of depression that was like a hollow hole in her chest, nothing seemed to pull her out of it. She was lonely. She was sad. Her life felt so incredibly empty and dull, she wanted to scream and run away but didn't know where and didn't even have the strength to. She craved a change, but what kind she didn't know.
Nothing seemed to work. No people, no places, no new memories, no new meetings, no new successful violin performances. Literally nothing seemed to wake her up from the boredom and hollowness of her everyday life.
She wondered if anything ever would already slipping back to old habits and negative thoughts that threatened to consume her before she could properly push them away.
Once out of the room closing the door and hearing the automatic lock, there was a specific sound that caused the woman to stop in track curious right before it happened.
Vanya frowned at the lack of light in the hallway leaving everything around her in the pitch black.
As kids, many feared the dark. Until a certain age, Vanya did too. Klaus used to say there were faces and voices in the dark, no doubt the ghosts that were drawn to him like magnets. Vanya feared something else. She feared the nothingness of being alone in the dark. She couldn't see or hear anything. It was soul-crushing, and for a certain time, she remembered she would cry into the dark not capable of moving until Grace came to turn on the light.
'Please don't let the dark take me,' she begged mom who would smooth her hair with a calm smile and tell her not to be silly in her cheerful voice that everything was alright and no harm would come to her. But mom always sounded like that. Dad built her to sound like that even when the others came bloodied and with broken bones.
Now, it wasn't fear that bothered her of the dark, but it still forced her to feel uneasy knowing more than ever that she was alone.
Vanya looked around herself but didn't see anyone else who would answer her question about what happened. There was a large window at the end of the hallway covered in automatic blinds, so she decided to slowly walk over there.
Once she carefully lifted one of them and found the whole street and nearby buildings were dark as well with the only thing providing light at the moment the stars in the night sky.
A blackout.
She made a grimace feeling this weird hint of delight that the perfect wedding of the bride and the groom was at least a tiny bit imperfect before she admonished herself about how a horrible thing to think that was.
Vanya didn't really want to come to the wedding at all to be completely honest with herself. But since everyone from work was coming and Kim personally gave her the invitation, she felt obligated too. She knew what it was really about. Usually, when people were happy like they were dating someone or getting married they had this need to serve as matchmakers for those who weren't such as Vanya. She was right of course. Ever since she arrived it was all you need to meet my cousin, brother, son, nephew, and so on, and in one case even a daughter. That was maybe even worse than if they ignored her because if she was ignored, she would at least be free to play games on her phone and watch the passing time.
All in all, Vanya didn't want to come to the wedding but didn't know how exactly to get out of it, and now standing in the hallway with no power, something that could cancel the wedding which was something she was praying since she received her invitation, she felt a tiny bit guilty about it. Just a bit but still enough. She was never good with guilt. She always apologized too much.
The brunette looked down the dark hallway debating on what to do now. Her phone was still in her room getting or not getting charged now so there was no point in going to get it.
Carefully she walked toward the elevator feeling like she was in a minefield momentarily hitting her knee over what she remembered must have been a table with a vase on the hotel's hallway.
She mentally cursed as the pain shot through her knowing it was such an impact because she was wearing her only fancy dress and nylons and not her pants like she usually did. Her feet continued her journey toward the elevator even slower from that point on while her hands tried to touch anything which could be in the way.
Funny, she never realized how little she would be able to do blind like this.
When she found the elevator, she pressed the buttons numerous times until she finally gave up knowing it was also out.
There was no point in trying to get back to the wedding by a staircase in the dark unless she had a suicidal wish. All she could do now was to try and get to her room and wait it out or go to bed.
She was already tired by it if she was being completely honest with herself. There was only so much social contact, she could deal within one night.
Carefully she turned around and tried to recall which room was hers. It was the third one from the left, she was almost sure of it.
She went over and pushed the key card inside before she moved the handle.
It's open.
She paused for a moment wondering if all the rooms now were open or if the card still worked. Probably not since she didn't see the green light or hear the little beep she did when she first time she came into the room.
She walked inside hoping for the best and closing the door after her. The curtains weren't all the way down so it was a bit easier to see things in the dark. The room looked like hers, but it was a hotel all the rooms should have looked the same especially on her floor.
Carefully she walked into the bedroom before she jumped a step back cursing silently at her once again stupid luck. There was a dark silhouette in the room.
She should have skipped the wedding altogether. Decency be damned.
'Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you,' said a deep male voice, she didn't recognize.
Not my room then.
'No, I'm sorry, I should have called out. It's just so dark, I got lost,' she explained before she grimaced at her own rambling. She either really didn't have the third one from the left or she counted them poorly.
'The streets are dark too. It's probably a blackout,' the man commented and lazily stood up from the bed where he was seated before.
Vanya couldn't really see his face from the distance and in the dark, but she could see how tall he was. She tried to see if she could recognize him based on that and the voice, but no one came to mind. He might not have been a part of the wedding at all. They didn't solely book the hotel.
A pretty strange meeting in her option. Alone, in the dark like this.
'Yes, the elevator and key cards don't work either,' she said wondering why she was still there. She should have apologized for entering like this and leave, right? That would be the logical thing to do, not to mention the right thing to do. She was a stranger who entered this man's room as she owned it. She should really leave.
Just when she made her decision to turn around and do so reminding herself that she was inside a dark room with a stranger the man spoke again stopping her in the track.
'Drink?' he asked casually but in a deep voice, she found oddly alluring. It wasn't a thing. Vanya didn't have some older man kink or anything. Usually, she dated men close to her age, but she had to admit she always seemed interested in men a few years older. She never tried to date them though or even approach them fearing too much it was somewhat of a desperate call out to her daddy issues that she tried to push as deep into the corner of her mind and souls as possible with the help of her pills. Some attempts were more successful than others.
He didn't wait for her reply and already started to walk to the dresser where she could see a nice set of glasses and some bottles. She didn't have those in her room for sure. Different benefits for a different crowd.
Vanya briefly turned back to the door debating for a moment on what to do and then back at the man. She really should go. She didn't know him, and this was a strange situation. He could be anyone a serial killer, rapist, drug dealer, human trafficker. Literally, any horrible thing her soaked in crime TV shows mind could think up.
'What do you have?' she found herself asking chasing all of that away and just focusing on the whole scene in front of her.
She was alone in a dark room with a stranger who just offered her a drink out of the blue. Well, she always felt like her life was too dull, maybe this would be a nice reminder one day that it wasn't completely true, and there was some boldness to her. She just hoped it wouldn't end with a crime report and one of her siblings or dad coming out to say I told you so.
'Scotch,' he said, and she couldn't help but smile a bit at the stranger before she admitted, 'My kind of poison.'
He glanced over his shoulder at her, and with the light coming from the stars, she could almost see him smirking if she wasn't hallucinating it all. It was a nice smirk. Not nice as if kind, but it was nice to look at, a bit sharp almost like a person could cut themselves on it. It distantly reminded Vanya of something before she chased the thought away.
Once his back was to her again, she bit her lip and took a step closer. Her brain was trying to be logical about it. She was inside a hotel room with a stranger she didn't know. He could be anyone. He could be a serial killer or rapist or something like that. She didn't know him. Growing up the way she did, she was exposed along with her siblings to just how horrible to the world could be. She learned what trafficking ring and statutory rape were before she was even ten along with how heavy was a gun with bullets or how long could a person survive underwater before their brain got too damaged. Even if she wasn't a part of the famous Umbrella Academy mainly in the first years, she was often included in the studies probably due to their dad not really knowing what else to do with her like she was an item he could never find a proper place for.
She chased those thoughts away. It had been a while since she thought about the Academy and her past. Last time was when she watched the news biting her nails as a young man who looked suspiciously too much like Klaus was found dead in an alley. It wasn't him, luckily.
In the darkness of the room with the man's voice so deep and inviting, she found herself excited by the possibility of staying and having a drink with him all doubts and warning signs flying out of the window. Something about the man and the whole situation was very thrilling. And she couldn't help herself really, but to let whatever was pulling her toward this strange possibility of danger and the man to suck her in.
She was just so bored and lonely. Her last breakup literally drained her out any joy from the life she had left. Kim's wedding was the first social event or any event she had been to outside of work and it showed. She couldn't make small talk with the people at all always trying to stay near one coworker or another before getting tired of that as well. She didn't feel like drinking the champagne there and smiled awkwardly whenever someone took pity on her and tried to get her to dance.
She knew dad and the Academy was partly to blame, but at the same time wasn't some of that her own fault. Why couldn't she just be more open? Some of the men she dated told her she was too closed off. Like she didn't express herself enough or didn't allow them to see her instead try to act nice and good for the benefit of avoiding a fight or making them like her. She knew she did that. But every time she tried to be more open, she caught the odd looks the people were giving her. No one would understand the way she was raised, no one could comprehend her childhood and what was normal in the house she grew up in. Maybe only her siblings, maybe only Five, but that…oh, no, that was a long time ago. It was pointless to think about any of that now.
The man turned around and handed her a glass.
It was nicely cold, and she smiled again as she thanked him trying to sneak glances at him without being too obvious. Despite the lack of actually seeing his features, Vanya couldn't help but think he looked attractive like there was something interesting and a bit dangerous about him that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.
He turned around to look at her and pressed his back against the dresser making it easier to watch him, 'Well, this is quite an unusual situation.'
She nodded thinking he was probably referring to the blackout.
Vanya took a light sip of her booze just to wet her lips as she walked closer to look out of the window behind the dresser. It was strange to look at the city now since it was in the complete dark.
'Yes, it is a bit strange,' she mumbled looking outside instead of the man for a moment finding the whole scene peaceful. No rush, no fuss, just a city in the dark. It didn't even look scary as Vanya would expect it to in the dark. And with the man beside her even if he was just as quiet like her, it felt almost less…
'Lonely,' she mumbled not even embarrassed or surprised she did.
The man looked at her again, she could tell even if she couldn't see it.
'Without everyone running around and the lights it feels less lonely somehow,' she explained although she wasn't sure if the man would understand.
There was a momentary pause, and she wondered if it wasn't a too loaded conversation to try and start with a complete stranger before he spoke, 'The eternal quest of the human being is to shatter his loneliness.'
She glanced at him curiously thinking if the quote didn't sound familiar, 'Joseph Conrad?'
The man shook his head, 'Norman Cousins. He was a journalist.'
She nodded and thought it would be the end of it before he spoke yet again, 'But I'm not sure if it's true. Loneliness seems to be the only thing a person has with him all the time. What does he have without it?'
She raised her glass a bit as if in a toast, 'Company.'
He smirked at her sharply, and she would have sworn he de-aged at least ten years. It suited him.
He reached his glass to hers and knocked the two together creating a ringing sound, 'To being alone together in the dark.'
She thought it was a stupid toast but didn't say it out loud.
Vanya took a bigger sip, and she found herself letting out a small pleased noise despite the heavy taste that burned her throat before she looked at the glass and then at the man, 'This is good stuff.'
'I'm glad you approve,' he replied like he was teasing her, and they shared a quick look before she again looked out of the window feeling slow waves of warmth run over her all the way from her throat to the toes on her feet. His smirk was the hottest thing she ever saw, and he was definitely teasing her.
Strange man. A stranger. Alone in a room together.
'Why scotch and not something else? I have once been told women preferred wine,' commented the man suddenly, and when she looked at him, she found him still watching her waiting for an answer.
It might have been the whole situation in dark with a stranger, who by what little she could tell wasn't bad looking with a voice that she could listen to a bit longer, but Vanya started to feel a bit hot and not because of the fine alcohol. It was probably due to the dark. Things were always easier in the dark.
A small smile settled onto her lips as she remembered distantly how Five used to say he liked talking to her in the dark more because she was chattier and herself. Maybe it was true. She always felt a bit better at night. Like she thought dad wasn't looking or at least she couldn't see him and his cold judgmental eyes. Either way, they usually talked in the dark which was why Five often snuck into her room after hours. She remembered it was her favorite thing, and always made sure to stay awake and wait for him…before he left. Right, before he left.
The man's question though caused her to think about something other than Five. She didn't want to answer it to be completely honest, knowing all too well her answer would be pretty average. She liked the bitter and heavy taste more? Wine made her cheeks warm up quickly, and she looked like a tomato. No, those were horrible answers.
'My dad always liked it. He built a preference inside me.'
Partly true. Reginald Hargreeves didn't drink as far as she knew, but on the very few occasions, she was allowed around the house in time of gatherings or small parties she always caught him with something with honey brown color in his glass.
The man's eyes scanned her at that moment, analyzing her answer maybe even seeing through her small lie before he took a sip as well, 'What would your dad say about you being here and now?'
Their eyes locked for far longer than they should before she licked her lips and said, 'He would probably want me to run for the hills.' Not very true either. She couldn't imagine what her dad would say to all of this if anything it would be something along the lines don't ruin the good name of the Umbrella Academy, Number Seven. It almost made her want him to know just in spite of it. The alcohol certainly started to work.
She gripped the glass a bit tighter-looking at the man who would now forever be described if she ever told this story to anyone as tall, older, silver-haired, and handsome, 'A stranger's room, no lights, a stranger man. Not exactly a formula a father would want for a daughter.'
The man finished the rest of his glass and sat it down taking a step closer to her everything in her body awakening to his presence.
'Then why are you still here?' he asked quietly like he was giving her a way out. Now or never. If she wanted to leave, she could, and she should, he was telling her with his question even though something inside her told her, she wasn't the only one who liked the company and wanted to carry on with it a bit longer.
She looked up at him. With how tall he was and standing close to her at that moment, Vanya couldn't help but feel the warmth spread over her body even further. Damn, he was…she couldn't explain it, but there was something deeply alluring about the man which made her want to remain in his presence longer and not just talk…no, not just talk at all given how hot she felt and how the heat seemed to settle between her legs making her want to rub them together if she was sitting and not out on display like this.
'I don't know,' she said barely louder than a whisper at that moment too hypnotized by his presence and the deepness of his eyes in the dark. Her stomach was a mess rolling around while all the heat started to run to the lower parts of her body. Everything about the moment was electric, and Vanya couldn't remember the last time someone made her feel this turned on by just standing and looking at her. Maybe never, but this stranger did that to her. He just stood there watching her in silence with the intensity that was probably making her blush, and doing something to her that made her want him, 'I like…,' she almost said you in her shaky voice before she corrected herself trying to sound more in control so he wouldn't get cocky by knowing her threw her off so damn much, 'the scotch.'
She just knew he would be the type to get cocky by every little thing he caused her to do. She didn't know how she could know such a thing after talking with the man for less than five minutes, but she did.
Time seemed to stop, and Vanya felt like she was standing on the edge of the cliff. Everything could change in a moment. Anything could happen in a moment. She already made her decision to stay, and she planned to go through with it. She knew what the man wanted. She knew what she so damn desperately wanted. How could one stranger in the dark cause this? Sure, she drank, but nearly enough to be this bold and act on her desires. She barely saw the man, she barely spoke with him, she didn't know him at all, and yet Vanya found herself wanting everything from him.
This wasn't her. This wasn't like her. If she told this to anyone who knew her at least a bit, they would have laughed.
Vanya Hargreeves, no, she would never do anything like that.
She was too timid, too small, too shy, too quiet, too insecure, and countless of other too little things. She knew it was true. She really did. But she couldn't help herself. At that moment, in this dark room with this stranger, she felt different. She felt bold, big, and daring, and she felt damn good about it. She felt nothing like herself, but she found it all the more captivating that she did.
'Come here,' commanded the man suddenly in an almost husky voice and licked his lips causing everything her heart skipped a beat, and her thoughts to shatter.
She bit her lips and remained still. She wanted to. God, she wanted to, but something told her not to. She wasn't having second thoughts or anything like that, but for the first time since what felt like forever, she felt a bit of defiance inside her too.
'Why won't you come here?' she asked wondering whose voice was it that just spoke because surely she couldn't have asked something like that from a total stranger aroused or not.
Just then his hand found its way into her hair and before she knew it his lips were on hers devouring her in a heated and urgent kiss.
She moaned into it immediately set the glass on the dresser and let her fingers dug into his shirt pulling him closer. She couldn't remember the last time she ever had a make-out this heated, and when his other hand moved to her lower back and his teeth bit her lower lip, she couldn't remember anything at all not even her damn name.
Her knees almost gave up on her with the way, this man, this stranger held her close and kissed her stupid with almost animalistic demand like it was his right to do so. No one ever kissed her like that and to be completely honest, until right now when she was literally being suck into the wonderful sensation of heat and growing need between her thighs, Vanya didn't even think kisses like existed outside of corny adult romance novels.
She moaned again and pressed herself against him with a small groan. He was solid and tall. It should have caused an alarm. She was letting a stranger who was bigger than her kiss her in a hotel room that wasn't hers and that could easily serve as her cage or prison. Everything about this screamed danger and growing up with superhero siblings who dealt with situations likes these that turned out horrible for the victims many times, she should have been smarter and get the hell out of there. Phenomenal kisser or not. But all Vanya could comprehend was how good he felt against her hands that were now moving over his body and how delicious were his lips against hers.
When she allowed her lips to part, she almost lost her balance from how good his tongue felt and how suddenly she felt they were having too many clothes on and not enough skin to skin contact. She felt on fire and in the need to get rid of unnecessary layers before she would burst.
Even when she felt complete throw off by his devilish lips and tongue along with his sinful hands squeezing and slowly teasing her back, she found enough sense to locate the line of buttons on his shirt. She moved messily occasionally missing a button, but to her credit, he was very good at distracting her.
When she pressed closer to him to finally pull the shirt over his shoulders he pulled his hands away accompanied by her sound of protest.
Once the shirt was gone, he broke the kiss leaving her even more disappointed before he took a hold of his undershirt and pulled it off as well.
She spotted a bandage over his wrist but before she could even think to ask about what happened he grabbed her elbow and pulled her closer again searching her body with his hands, 'W-where's the zipper?' he asked, his voice was still deep but a bit breathless and she felt a bit relieved that she wasn't the only one so affected by this.
'Side, but I don't need it,' she said and put her hand against his chest to push him a bit away. She realized this was it as she reached for the hem of her dress and started to push it over her head.
She was really going to have sex with a stranger she didn't see properly, didn't even know his name in a hotel room which wasn't even hers. She felt herself go wet just by the thought of it knowing she would.
Vanya tried to grasp some of the reality of it, but she was too overwhelmed with the burning desire inside her for him to kiss her again. She never felt this way. She never wanted anyone more than she wanted him and right now.
The moment she got the dress over her head his hand was on her side pulling her closer to him again. She let her most expensive and nice dress fall to the ground like it a piece of cloth not caring about anything than his lips on hers again causing her to melt against him.
'You're so tiny,' he mumbled with a certain level of something she dared would call affection when he broke the kiss and before he moved to her neck causing her to dig her fingers into his bare shoulders and gasp. Shivers ran over her body the moment he touched her there, but the heat was still present burning her from the inside and slowly leading toward her center.
She let her free hand ran over his hair enjoying how it was just long enough for her fingers to curl around it.
After a few failed attempts to speak as his lips tortured her neck in the most amazing way, she finally breathed out, 'Bed.'
The man didn't waste time as all of a sudden he picked her up like she was weightlessly pressing a kiss in the middle of her chest.
Vanya hooked her legs over his sides trying not to fall as well as throw her head back when she felt his lips on hers again.
He carried her to the bed marking her skin with wet kisses, and she wondered if he could feel her heart wildly beating against her chest when he was this close to it.
He settled her down carefully while he continued to kiss her skin leaving her breathless before she pulled him back to her lips moaning against another feverish kiss.
She would never imagine someone could kiss like this. She had a couple of boyfriends, but it was never like this when they kissed even during sex there were a certain awkwardness and sobering reality which made the kisses very lifeless and mechanical compare to the pure sensation of emotions and desire she felt right now. She didn't think kisses like these were real beyond scam to sell more romance novels and make more people watch romantic shows and movies.
He felt insatiable as he let his hands longingly wander over her body and his lips greedily move against hers for as long as possible before they needed to breathe. She felt dizzy, over-taken by the yearning sensation of hunger he was creating inside her for more and more of him. This was new to her. She would be ashamed and disappointed to know that this, feeling this way with someone was always on the table and she kept on stumbling over terrible men so far so she was only allowed tiny bites of tasteless food when she could have been feasting on something like this, something like him.
She dared herself to take a hold of his hair and pull him a bit away only to hear him groan animalistic and try to pull himself closer to her again. She didn't think a man ever showed her he wanted her so much as this one did.
She sat up moving backward on the large bed while forcing her shaking fingers to work on the clip on her bra behind her. She could let him do it. But felt more in control if she did know. It gave her a few seconds to calm her breathing and think.
Did she want to continue?
God, yes.
Good.
The man took a few deep breaths clearly just as much affected and messed up by the lust as she felt.
He let his hand brush his hair a couple of times almost in a manic way while she successfully undid her bra and started to pull it away from her body.
It was strange. Usually, whenever she finally got to the point of having sex for the first time, there was this nervosity in her stomach and awkwardness she couldn't get rid of even with a few glasses of alcohol. She knew how she looked and even if she wasn't as self-aware and insecure about her body as she used to be as a teenager there were always these traitorous thoughts making her overthink things and force her not to be able to fully let go and enjoy herself. She couldn't help herself at least the first time. Usually, she got more comfortable after that growing familiar with her boyfriends and what they liked and did. All that was a process she went through every first time. Not now though. Now it was completely out of the book different for her.
Now she had this heat inside her body which seemed to grow even hotter whenever he touched her as if he was adding more sparks and fuel to it. It wasn't uncomfortable like a heatwave in the summer more like this heavenly and steamy pressure inside her making her feel more awake than anything else almost like she was sitting at the edge of her seat listening to her favorite musicians in live performance.
With how much the stranger wanted to touch her and kiss her, she felt wanted, greedily wanted in a way no man ever seemed to show her before. It boosted her self-esteem to a level she didn't know she could reach, and it made her feel completely comfortable to sit there in front of him with no bra on and let him watch her breathing hard like an animal. It made her feel strangely powerful and excited and delirious from it all. It was probably the combination of dark and anonymity which made her feel this brave and free, but she decided not to overanalyze it and just get the most of it.
Just then she noticed she still had her shoes on as she got too caught up in the moment once he pressed his lips against her to even think about putting them off or any other proper thing to do. All morality when out of the window the moment, she decided to stay in the room after all.
She reached for them to pull them off before he snatched her wrist causing her heart to skip a beat, 'Keep them on.'
She swallowed getting even more aroused by the thought of him giving her orders with his deep voice in the dark.
His thumb stroked her wrist before he let her go and started to work on his belt.
Vanya sat up on her knees and reached for him busying his mouth with another savage kiss that made him take a bit longer than he should have to get the belt to undo. She took pride in knowing she affected him like that.
They broke the kiss again for him to pull down his pants along with his underwear, and she couldn't help but stare. It was easier to see him in the dark when he was naked. His skin was a shade darker than hers, but she was always very pale often asked by her teachers and colleagues if she wasn't feeling sick, so that wasn't saying much.
As far as she could tell the man looked gorgeous and Vanya was sure that if it wasn't for the dark and the circumstances and the fact that she was more aroused than ever it would work as a cold shower on her to know he was so handsome and she was…just herself.
He didn't give her time to touch doubts though as he took her face between his hands and locked her mouth in another series of ravishing kisses that would no doubt spoil her for the rest of her life.
After a moment he started to carefully lean her backward until her back was once again against the soft sheets and mellow mattress.
One of his hands moved to her throat, and she couldn't help another moan. Maybe she was just delicate about her neck. She couldn't remember if any of her previous lovers ever paid such attention to it, but with his lips sensually consuming her more and more with every kiss it was hard to think about anything other than him. Maybe it was the way he touched her in a certain way like he owned her and demanded things from her but at the same time did so carefully not to hurt her.
'It's alright,' she whispered into the dark moaning at the end as he sucked on the sensitive spot behind her ear.
He paused for a moment so she hurried to explain, 'You can't break me that easily.'
It felt odd on her tongue to she said it, but at the same time, she felt like she needed to tell him, he could be rougher with her. Everything inside her craved it actually.
The man raised a bit to look at her face properly maybe to see if she was lying or not. In the dark of the room, it was hard to make out the exact features of his face, but for the first time since she entered the room, a feeling of familiarity settled in the back of her mind like the man was someone she had seen before.
Oh, hell no!
She prayed to God, he wasn't because she would die of embarrassment if the man turned out to be someone she knew. She would never be able to walk the earth knowing someone saw her act like this.
He leaned down his lips parted sensually moving over hers but not quite kissing them again, 'You're a tough one, aren't you?'
'Yeah,' she said and let her hands run over his chest curling his chest hair and noting that he was very solid and warm to touch. She could do this for hours just to map him with her hands.
Once she got lower, however, teasingly letting her fingers play with him for a bit he cut her off short and pushed both of her hands against the bed above her head. His hold was firm, and everything inside her burned by his hold.
Their eyes met, and even if she couldn't tell the color, his were very bright, carrying a certain hard or cold look, but they were also filled more intensity and lust she ever saw anyone carry for her.
She pulled her lower lip into her mouth to lick it just as he leaned down to kiss her again. In doing so he pulled it out and sucked on it.
He pressed his legs on the other side of hers as he continued to kiss her lips before he pulled at her wrists again reminding her that he was holding her caged like that. Despite the pressure, it was almost comforting to be a prisoner like that.
She knew she would blush at the idea if she already wasn't flushed all over.
The man pushed her hands above her head and crossed them before cuffing them with a single palm. His other hand now free to touch and explore her while he could still hold her in captivation.
If she wasn't on fire before now her body turned into the sun burning all over.
His lips started to wander leaving love bites on their way like a trail for others to follow to know where they went.
She gasped shocked by his teeth on her swollen nipple once he got to her chest. It was painful but also so thrilling, Vanya wondered if there wasn't something very wrong with her. Well, she was about to have sex with a stranger surely there was.
The man was restless and skilled. He nipped at her sensitive skin with just the right amount to make her never forget the feeling but not enough for it to hurt and make her want to stop. She soon found herself shivering under him like a leaf her legs moving on their own to get some friction before his hand pinned her down her side.
While his dark gaze was enough of command for her to make her try to stay still.
'I'm hardly done with you,' he told her as a matter of fact before he once again started to torment her chest sucking and scratching on her sensitive skin with his lips and teeth.
It was hard to stay still when her mind was slowly but surely taken over by the sensations. She didn't have sex in a long time, and she didn't have good sex in…well maybe ever.
She didn't think she would come from the special care the man seemed to be showing her, but Vanya was sure, she would come pretty close already feeling herself soaking through her underwear.
When he finally let her breath, she let out an almost relieved sigh, 'Please.'
Later, Vanya would think how strangely silent it all seemed. Like they didn't even have to talk to communicate and know what to do. She wasn't much of a talker, but usually, her partners said the typical phrases.
This man seemed to devote to learn from her reactions what she liked and what not and so far he managed to be spot on in everything.
He released her hands but only to move lower to her panties. His lips were hot and wet against her skin feeding the flame inside her on their way. His touches were urgent but at the same time almost leisure like he had plenty of time. No man had ever taken this much time to get to know her body.
His fingers slipped under the waistline of her underwear, and he easily pulled it off her tossing somewhere to the side probably where the rest of his clothes were.
Her legs were brought down and pushed further apart with only the nylons and her shoes the only remaining pieces of her clothing. He busied himself for a few moments with her thighs kissing her through the soft fabric of the nylons probably ripping them a bit though.
He found her clit straight away and in response her body was arching off the mattress as a sharp shock of pleasure rolled through it making it once again hard to think.
"Oh, f-fuck," Vanya gasped as the man decided to pay further attention to the sensitive bundle of nerves. The circles he started to rub against her clit were firm and slow leaving her a breathing hard mess in a matter of minutes silently begging for more.
Her fingers gripped the sheets trying to hold onto something as the sensation was threatening to steal her away completely any moment.
However, all of a sudden, just as she was sure it would explode inside her, she felt the man unceremoniously slow down and ease on the pressure.
She felt fingers from his other hand now inside her. It was nice but nowhere near as satisfying or thrilling as it felt to have him rub her clit. She was tempted to point it out feeling more relaxed than she did with any other partner when all of a sudden she felt his fingers move inside her a certain way. Her mind went black as the most intense wave of pleasure that she had ever experienced just washed over her entire body, from the top of her head down to her toes filling every corner.
She cried out or maybe she didn't since at that moment she couldn't remember anything or think straight.
The man didn't seem to care if she was going through the aftershock of the most unexpected and powerful orgasm of her life as he curled his fingers again and pressed hard against her clit at the same time causing her almost to fly off the bed lost inside her own body and mind.
Her brain kept short-circuiting as she tried to think about what was happening to her but she couldn't – she'd never experienced anything like this before. Everything turned black as if it shut down and then exploded with cosmic colors that were simply out of this world. It was too damn much for her.
She was trashing on the bed and shaking her head for him to stop trying to explain without words that he needed to stop before she would….before she would…God, she didn't even know.
Luckily, the man didn't torture her more and pulled his fingers out licking them while looking at her which she found out once she finally opened her eyes.
'Y-you…oh,' she felt ridiculous not being able to form a normal sentence but how was she supposed to prepare herself for this man to just go and bring her the most intense experience of her life with his fingers? After knowing her all of half-hour or so?
Shit!
He really would spoil her for life.
He smirked at her again looking all too cocky and proud of himself, and she would feel offended or insulted if it wasn't so damn good.
She closed her eyes and let out a shaky sigh finally feeling herself calming down a bit.
Her eyes opened again when she felt the man's hands over her trying to get her to let go of the sheets she was still gripping so hard her knuckles were white.
When the man offered all of the hurt knuckles kisses, she felt a completely different sensation form inside her chest before she shook it away trying to remind herself what this really was. This was about giving in to desire during a one-night stand with a stranger in a hotel room. Whatever young girl fantasy about romance was trying to make its way up from her naïve subconscious should crawl right back in.
She reached for him putting her free hand against the back of his neck and pulled him closer. Their kiss now was lazier, but still heated. It didn't take long, and Vanya felt the familiar aroused spread again from her groin to the rest of her body. She wanted more.
The man seemed to recognize the hunger in her eyes as his own as he reached down for his pants and pulled out a condom quickly placing it on.
Even in the dark, it wasn't hard to see his cock hot and long. It didn't seem too thick, but she didn't mind. All in all, she thought it looked just fine.
Her knee came to stroke his side and remind him of what she wanted from him the most. He didn't seem to want to deny her any longer either.
He grabbed the back of her knee and rose her leg higher taking his position over her.
When he entered her, he went slow, moving only a few inches in so many seconds as if he wanted her to stretch just right for his member so she would fit around him perfectly. She would almost say he was being generous and gentle with her nothing like the young man, Sam, who was her first one who shoved himself into her before she was even wet enough.
She let fingers danced against the skin on the back of his neck still holding him there. It took longer than she was used to, but she couldn't deny there was something electrical and magnificent about having someone go inside her slowly and deeper and deeper and deeper filling her completely more than ever.
Her eyes found him, and in that moment before they started it seemed like time just stopped and the air around them changed. It was heavier now yes charged with their desire and that electrical anticipation of what was to come for them, but there was also something else.
For a brief moment, Vanya thought something vulnerable and soft crossed the man's face in the dark, and he once again de-aged by a couple of years looking almost familiar.
Then he started to move and whatever thought was pushing its way into her mind got ripped apart to so many tiny pieces she couldn't possibly put them together.
He pushed her legs higher over behind his back where she crossed them both moaning from the new angle the sensation taking over both of them again.
They moved together in a rhythm so precise, Vanya would almost think they did this before many times, and knew how to work together well except she knew for a fact, she never felt this consumed by her lust, she never felt this damn good by it.
The man took one of her hands and push it above her hand again pinning it down just before he hit the spot he found before.
She cried out arching off of the bed the wave coming all the way from her groin to every part of her body and back.
He looked wild like a madman or an animal let loose, and with how he was rutting into her speeding up and going deeper merciless to her cries he might as well be one.
The room was filled with the wet sounds serving as background noise to the electric pleasure that was slowly tearing her apart inch by inch.
He hit the spot again causing her to cry out and close her eyes. After that, it was as if he decided to ruin her completely as he fucked her harder and deeper than before making sure to hit the spot as often as possible.
She didn't even notice when did he let go of her wrist before she felt his fingers against her clit causing her to levitate from the bed the orgasm hitting her hard enough to faint.
It was almost too much. She was almost too sensitive everywhere, but he didn't seem to be done with her. He pushed her harder, gripping her waist hard enough to leave bruises, and thrusting into her like he wanted to fuck her into the next week.
She stopped paying attention to anything that came out of her mouth. She might have begged him. She might have called him a god. She might have said she loved him. All she knew, all that existed at that moment was the wonderful out of this world feeling of another orgasm slowly bursting its way out of her groin little by little like it was being pulled through a keyhole.
Vanya felt her whole body shake or maybe it was her doing the shaky. It was too much. She was too oversensitive everywhere. If she didn't come now, if she didn't …she didn't know what would happen.
She started to beg him to let her go silently or out loud she couldn't tell before just as she was sure she would die or fall into the most fucking amazing coma ever, another sensation ripped from her center and whipped her mind and body clean making her think she actually did die and went to heaven.
It was too much. It was too intense.
She never…she didn't…she couldn't…
It felt like forever since she started to come down from her high realizing the man was breathing next to her on the bed now no doubt catching his own orgasm around the time she got completely lost in hers.
She was still shaking on the bed and felt hyper-aware of everything. It was like her muscles got charged and something that she didn't even know was a part of her got awoken.
Her hand automatically pressed against her chest. She was breathing too hard. Could she get die of not getting enough air?
She turned to look at the man.
He was on his back with that stupidly handsome smirk, he shot her before, only this time it looked softer. It looked far more like a smile, and before she could stop herself, she rolled to her side and kissed him.
He didn't seem surprised.
His fingers curled around her hair for those brief seconds they kept their lips locked before she rolled back to the bed.
Did that really happen?
Finally coming back from her crash, Vanya blinked into the dark, her eyes used to it by now. She was sweaty, tired and so ridiculously well fucked, she felt like giggling. Her brain was working overtime but still remained a complete mess.
As she looked to the side at the man, who looked in a similar state of mind and feelings, she sobered up a bit realizing, the burning need and lust ran out, and now it was time for some adult post-sex awkwardness.
Her shoes and nylons were still in place. Well, one of her shoes fell off during their little activity, but she knew where it was. She knew more or less where her bra and dress were by the dresser, and assumed she could leave her panties behind. She should probably ask him though if his room was the fourth or the second one so she would know to which direction go to return to her own.
However, before she could even begin to speak and break the blissful silence, the man grabbed her elbow and rolled her to the side before pushing his palm against her back and her whole body against his chest, 'Stay a bit. No point in stumbling in the dark.'
She sighed a bit in relief and allowed her eyes to close feeling the man move his fingers over her back. It was nice, calming even, and it made Vanya feel more comfortable than she ever did after sex.
The man seemed almost touch starved before, but now even if they both calm down a bit it was like he still couldn't get enough. Like he still had to rub his fingers over her to make sure she was there.
She pressed her face against his chest and breathed in his sweaty and male smell. She didn't think there was anything better than that.
Everything felt so different now. So calm. It forced, Vanya not to even try to break the silence with some lousy chit-chat, but just to enjoy it. She felt like she was laying on a cloud with all the time in the world and no worries. She couldn't remember the last time if ever she felt this relaxed.
'Tomorrow I will be gone before you wake up,' he told her after what felt like forever, 'Don't take it personally. I have somewhere to be.'
Tomorrow was Sunday, so she doubted he had work. But she didn't know the man, so she couldn't be too sure. Anyway, she still gave him a small point to tell him upfront and not leaving her to wake up alone even if maybe if it was up to her she would do so. She had no illusion about how much of a coward she was when it came to social interactions.
His hand moved to her hair while he firmly took her other one and pressed it against his chest causing her to feel his heartbeat. It wasn't as rapid as her own which would have made her annoyed if she didn't feel so good.
She didn't even know the man's name, yet she knew for sure, she never felt more secured and good in her entire adult life than she did at that moment. It felt so good, she couldn't even bring herself to be sad about it ending in the morning. She literally couldn't bring herself to end the moment with doubts, worries, and her other negative feelings. She didn't even feel the need to ask for the man's name. How reckless and immoral was that? But then again, the man didn't even ask her for her name. Maybe it was all for the best. If she knew a name, she could try to look him up and invest too much and not take this as what it was. One night stand. A damn good one though.
The man's lips pressed against her forehead, and Vanya involuntarily closed her eyes taking in a deep breath and then sighing.
Her last thoughts before the sleep took her were that this was nice and that she could get used to it.
She almost thought she heard the man say something but didn't really care as satisfying exhaustion covered her like a soft blanket. It felt good to be alone together with someone like him in the dark.
When Vanya woke up, she was alone, the spot next to her empty but not as cold as it would have been if she slept alone through the night.
It made her smile a bit at the thought that the man stuck around long enough to leave some of his warmth behind. At least he was a bit of a gentleman when everything else about him was so sinister.
She wasn't surprised, but maybe a bit disappointed even if the man did tell her, he would be gone before she woke up.
Sighing she sank into the pillow again glancing casually to the nightstand and freezing.
A white envelope.
Cold sweat ran over her, and she prayed that when she would open it there wouldn't be any money. If the man left her money like a prostitute she might as well go jump out of the window to stop the guilt and humiliation from tearing her apart.
She sat up the lovely feelings of relaxation and bliss over a good night gone. Her shaky hand reached for the dreading envelope trying to breathe properly as she prayed that it would be just a goodbye letter or a nice note or anything really but money.
Upon opening it, she let out a relieved breath as there was only a single piece of paper. All the worries and nervousness ran away from her leaving her once again free and remaining a bit high on the feeling the man awoke in her last night.
She fell backward against the pillow and pulled the piece of paper out wondering if it was a goodbye letter or phone number or really a final goodbye note but found something far more unexpected and confusing.
In perfectly neat handwriting he wrote a date.
24.1.2015
It was the only thing written on the note, and Vanya wondered for a moment why would he write a date four months from now before the realization hit her causing her to sit up once more surprised by it.
He wanted to see her again.
Her lips formed a smile on their own, she didn't even feel the need to hid before she fell back once more breathing in what was left of his scent and warmth. Suddenly her life didn't feel so empty. She wondered how different then things would be upon waking up to the light, but now she couldn't help but feel relief and excitement for the first time in forever about the change and new possibilities that could wait for her.
A.N: This was supposed to an AU similar to Meeting in the Dark, but I have too many S02 feelings so. Thanks for reading. I hope everyone is dealing okay and is safe.