Hi all! I hope everyone is well and keeping safe out there! Please enjoy ! xx

Chapter 3

Malia was still whimpering as she watched my father walk away. But the further away he got the bolder she became again, and she curled her lip showing off her sharp incisors. I on the other hand didn't even know what to do let alone what to think. I was in shock. Mortified even. I was meant to be the perfect daughter of the alpha not this rebellious little new wolf that everyone now knows me by. The earlier tears that I was able to hold back were threatening to overflow again but this time I didn't stop them.

''Ana,''

I managed to lift my limp head and look up. It was my mother. The pure shock on her face, only made the tears run faster.

''Sweetie?'' The shock was quickly replaced by worry but not quick enough. ''Baby?''

My lip trembled and I didn't even have the strength to say anything to her. I was so weak… it was as if I was defeated. When will this get easier?! What did I do to deserve this? Why was it hurting so bad? At this point my eyes were beginning to sting, the mascara that was framing my blue eyes not so long ago, was now blending with my salty tears. I just had this big weight on my chest that I couldn't shift, and it was only getting heavier. The ice cracked and I no longer had anything to balance on, I was swimming hopelessly in the Antarctic sea. My eyes were flashing wolf again. No! Stop trying to take hold! I knew Malia could sense my weakness and she was threatening to take control of me. I was a new wolf, but I knew that I couldn't let her win. New wolves could easily go rogue. Malia might be stubborn, but I was more determined to win… I had to be.

''Ana? Do you want to come with me?'' I jumped when my mother put her arms around me. She was trying to comfort me. She knew something was seriously wrong. I got to be stronger than this.

At least we agree on something. Malia purred.

I gently unlinked her arms that were around my waist and placed them back on her sides. ''I have to go,''

Go?! Where? Malia was pacing again and tilted her head up. Looking straight at me.

My mother frowned at me. Worry still bordering her eyes. ''Sweetie, where are you going? We can sit in your room… and we can talk?''

I swallowed the sob that was about to erupt from my mouth. I couldn't cry anymore. My stomach was in knots, the nerves and fear were settling inside of me. I didn't even know what I was doing but I couldn't stay here any longer. I had to figure this wolf thing out myself and return to the pack when I was stable and ready to take on the responsibilities as the alpha's daughter. I didn't want to embarrass myself anymore then I already have. I risked a glance at the crowd that was starting to form around my mother and I. I could see faces of worry, shock but most importantly disappointment. I could feel it down the pack's bond, another perk of being the daughter of the alpha, I mentally rolled my eyes. I could feel everyone's emotions bombarding my already overworked head.

Malia whined and clawed at her ears. She clearly didn't appreciate being overwhelmed either. Another thing we could agree on. It felt like a constant itch inside my head that I couldn't get rid of I just had to learn to live with it. I had to get as far away from the pack to dull that sensation.

You can't be a lone wolf!

Watch me.

I licked my dry lips before speaking. ''I think I have to be alone right now,''

She shook her head at me, ''Darling, that's the worst thing you can possibly do to yourself and your wolf. She is just testing you that's all. You just need to grab hold of the reins and show her who's boss. We are wolves… we are meant to be in a pack. The pack will always support you and help you no matter what. One for all and all for one. Nobody is left behind in this pack, Ana.''

I clenched my fists at my sides. I didn't belong in this pack, mum. Is all I wanted to say but I bit my tongue. ''I'm sorry, mum, but I really have to go,'' I gave her a tight smile and walked away.

''Ana, get back here!'' I could hear her shouting after me, but I didn't say anything or look over my shoulder. I didn't need her pity. Or anyone else's for that matter. I could be a lone wolf. After all my father made sure that I had daily combat training sessions with Kai. He was always hard on me and made sure that I was as strong as I possibly could be. Every time I said that I am finished with the session he made me do an extra hour, I could hardly walk the next day and he made me do it all over again. Evil bastard. But I liked him. He knew how to handle me. At least I could fight another wolf and survive if need be. I could get to Vancouver and stay in one of my dad's properties. But I can't do that because he would just instantly find me and drag me back here by my hair kicking and screaming. He would never agree about this decision that I have made. Think Ana, where should we run to?

I walked up the stairs, I didn't have to hold the railing for support and my knees weren't buckling. I felt slightly more settled clearly. When I entered my room, I could feel the weight slightly lifting off of my chest. After all I did have a plan and I was convinced that it was going to work. I just had to pack my bag, get out the house and then into my car. Then just drive. I shrugged, nothing too hard, right?

Good luck with that. Are you forgetting about Jason?

I clenched down on my jaw. Fuck. I completely forgot about the bodyguard that my father assigned to me not so long ago. I still remember the argument that we had about it. I knew he was only doing it to protect me but sometimes it felt like I was suffocating. It always felt like as if I wasn't allowed to make a mistake, my decisions made for me before that was even a possibility. I clicked my tongue and got my traveling bag from underneath my bed. Parents should allow their children to make mistakes.

Hmm you are forgetting who your parents are.

Right. How could I possibly forget? It was a daily reminder. A tape recorder in my head that had the replay button jammed. Everything that I did I thought about how that would affect my reputation in the pack. I had enough of it. Maybe leaving the pack for a while would do me good and not just for my wolf. I would actually be able to stand on my own two feet without having people on either side of me, waiting to catch me if I was to fall. Damn it! I wanted to fall and graze my knees! I wanted the pain, just to feel alive.

I threw the bag across the room and sat on my bed.

You always cave in! This is why I always tell you to fight back!

As much as I hated to admit it, especially now when Malia was so out of control, she was right. I always just said 'Yes, that is fine' or 'Okay' the list goes on. It was easier for Alec. He was just so good at control, almost too good. I wanted him to slip up and I pushed him to do just that. He never did. My hands curled around the sheets on my bed, my knuckles turning white. Why was it so easy for him? Anger was once again bubbling inside. It was never too far away, a constant reminder of how close I was to loosing it. I was so sick of it. I wanted to be perfect so badly but there was no chance in hell that I was ever going to be this perfect Anastasia Rose Steele. I was never going to be enough.

I couldn't sit still any longer and so I started pacing the length of my room. God what was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just be like every other wolf? Why couldn't I just have a weaker wolf that I could easily control and one that would just submit to me? Instead I had one that was flexing its claws and growling at me. Challenging me at every corner and not giving me a damn break! That's what is what I wanted. A break. I deserved one.

''Ana.''

I jumped and automatically growled. My wolf eyes looked around, assessing the potential danger. It was Jason. Standing at six feet six he made my doorway to my bedroom look too small. I forced myself to relax but the tension didn't ease, Malia, was still on edge. Its only Jason, I frowned at her. Get a grip. As usual he was in his black slacks, black buttoned up shirt and blazer. Always so formal. His eyes registered my wolf ones instantly and he narrowed his in return, I could feel his wolf glaring at me. I wasn't challenging him, but I just couldn't stop my eyes from glowing, I didn't know how to. All he did was continue to stare at me, put his arms over his chest and leaned his back against the door frame. Making himself all comfortable.

''What do you want?'' I didn't mean to snap at him and be a bitch, but I did it anyway.

He lifted his brows. ''Easy, girl. No need to be all bratty towards me.''

I didn't have time for this. I turned and went to pick up my bag from the floor. I needed to start packing if I was planning on leaving any time soon.

''What are you doing?''

I shrugged my shoulders, ''What does it look like? I am packing.''

I started opening my drawers, tipping the content into my bag. Stick to essentials.

The wooden floorboards creaked, and I swung back around so I was facing Jason. He was right in front of me, I could feel his heavy breathing. He wasn't happy with my response; he knew what I was planning on doing. His light blond hair drew all your attention towards his dark chocolate colour eyes. His frown only deepened the longer he was staring down at me.

''Jason, what's taking so long?''

I knew that voice, Kai was joining the party too I see. I looked over Jason's shoulder and saw his six feet two frame enter my room. I was surrounded my giants.

''Don't worry, Kai, she'll be right there,''

I scowled at Jason. ''What! Where am I going?''

What on earth is going on? Malia was getting unsettled and was on high alert. She didn't like the fact that Jason was so close nor did she like the fact that Kai has now decided to barge into her safe place… which was my bedroom. And I didn't like it either.

''To see your father,''

''Ha… funny. He is the last person that I want to see right now,''

I tucked my hair behind my ears and pushed past Jason to get my phone and charger off the nightstand. Hmm, what else do I need? Car keys!

''Ana, stop,''

I was seriously going to lose it if they were not going to leave me the fuck alone! ''What do you want Kai!'' I spat out and turned to face him. My patience was hanging on by a thread and it was only getting slimmer by every passing second.

''Woah, Ana, we are just doing what we were told to do.'' He stood unmoving in the middle of my room right next to Jason. They were polar opposites. Kai was definitely older, his face had slight wrinkles decorating it. His black hair was turning grey at the temples, but he still managed to style it with gel and it always looked perfect, not a single strand out of place. He looked after his physique, after all he was the pack's trainer. His black polo top was straining against the muscles beneath it and to finish the causal look he wore his navy-blue ripped jeans.

''Well I don't care,''

''What are you trying to achieve?'' Jason inquired.

''None of your business,'' I said and started to zip up my bag. Nearly done.

''I am your bodyguard and that makes it my business,''

''You!'' I pointed my finger at him as I turned around. ''Remember full well that I never agreed to you being my bodyguard.'' I turned my head to look at Kai and back at Jason again. ''And what? You brought back up in case I don't come willingly? I am not some puppy for you to order around.''

He actually had the audacity to chuckle. ''I don't know why but I quite like this bratty side of yours.''

Break his neck.

I bid my claws to show, ''Leave,''

Jason's amused gaze met Kai's. ''Left, or right?'' He asked him.

''Right.'' Kai replied, his green eyes almost blazing.

What?

''If you don't come willingly little wolf, we had orders to physically take you to your father.''

Is this some kind of joke? ''You're kidding. Right?'' I laughed lightly and backed towards my bed. Malia was already closely judging her surroundings and thinking of a way to get us out of here. They were both blocking the door but not the window… all I had to do was bolt towards it. Having wolf speed was definitely going to be handy here. I just had to catch them off guard.

Kai smirked at me, ''You are forgetting that I have taught you everything that you know about combat training and escape routes.'' He looked at Jason. ''Block the window,'' he ordered. Damn it, he was just too good. What now?

More laughter escaped past Jason's lips which amplified my irritation further. ''She is sneaky.''

''I can take you both,'' I snarled, I could feel my teeth beginning to elongate. I was ready to tear my way through.

''You stand no chance sweetheart, but I admire the confidence,'' Jason murmured. He didn't seem any bit intimidated by my behaviour. As if he was expecting it.

I watched them wirily. I could see Kai heading towards my right side and Jason started walking towards my left. They were going to trap me like I was some kind of prey. Malia was scrapping at the ground and standing up tall, always so dominant even when the odds were not in her favour. I admired that about her.

I carried on backing away until the back of my thighs touched the end of my bed. I was seriously trapped. I had to scare them off and create some room for escape. Don't attack Kai, he knew every move that I was planning out in my head, my best bet was to strike at Jason. So, I did. I kicked out with my strong right leg and aimed for the stomach. Always aim for sensitive and unprotected areas. I made contact and he grunted. I was about to go in and punch his throat as he straightened but before I could do any of that Kai grabbed hold of both my arms and dragged me away from Jason.

''Get off me!'' I screamed. I bared my teeth and attempted to bite Kai, but the guy was good and anticipated my move, he pulled his arm out of my reach.

''Jason, do you mind grabbing her left arm as we discussed at the beginning. Well after you stop grunting that is.'' I could tell Kai was smirking at him, holding in his laugh.

''You taught her well, Kai, I am glad I asked you for back up.'' He chuckled.

Jason's grip tightened around my left arm, his claws pressing lightly into me. ''Get those claws away from me!'' I yelled. I started to frantically pull my arms away from them, but they were definitely not going anywhere.

''Now, be a good little puppy and come with us,'' Jason added.

This was ridiculous I was not going to see my father. I was meant to be leaving the pack! I snapped my teeth at him which made him laugh again. ''Let me go! And stop laughing at me!''

He grinned instead, ''I am not laughing now, I am smiling is that allowed, princess?''

''Come on Jason, lets get going.'' Kai tugged me forwards and Jason did the same.

I dug my heels into the ground and pushed again. Doing everything that I could possibly think of to get away from them.

''Not going to work, darling,'' Kai added and nodded at Jason.

They lifted me up, so my legs were dangling in the air. God no! I wasn't going! I can't go!

''Please don't,'' I turned to begging. Maybe some emotional blackmail would work? Could I convince them not to take me to my father? I had to at least try it. ''We had a fight… He probably doesn't want to see me as much as I don't want to see him,''

''Nice try Ana, but he was the one that ordered us to take you to him. And I know you have had a fight with him which is probably what he wants to discuss.'' Jason looked down at me and gave me a reassuring smile, but it did little to reassure me. ''Maybe he is right,''

What?

''Hmm maybe he is indeed. It might do her good.'' Kai smiled and looked down at me too.

''Right, can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?'' I demanded. I was being tired of not getting involved in a conversation that was clearly about me.

''Your father will explain everything,'' Is all Jason said.

We reached the stairs and started going down them. Kai's grip on my arm loosened tightly. Malia smiled. Pull it out, darling. I pulled quickly before he had any chance to react, but Jason wasn't going to get caught off guard this time and he grabbed the arm I manged to get free and put both them behind my back. ''Just let go!''

''We are following the rules of the alpha. It would be so much easier if you were to just cooperate.'' Jason murmured. Suddenly he crouched down in front of me, wrapped his arm around my legs and swung me over his shoulder.

I yelped. No this is too embarrassing! The whole pack is going to see me! ''I'll walk! Jason I will walk! Just please put me down.''

Kai started laughing. ''We should have done this at the start, so much easier.''

''Agreed, stop wiggling, Ana, you are not going anywhere. Besides your father's office.''

Brilliant.

Well you just need to try harder once you get inside of the office. Malia swished her tail at me.

Hmm well I am not seeing or hearing any bright ideas from you. I pointed out.

She growled.

Take that Malia.

I stopped wiggling and just laid limp on his shoulder. There was just no point in fighting anymore, there is two of them and one of me. I lifted my head as we reached the bottom of the stairs, please don't let anyone see me please. I was mentally begging that no one was going to bump into us. But of course, that was never going to happen, and I saw Kate in the living room. I offered her a little wave as Jason walked past. I saw the look of confusion and concern on her face.

''Ana?''

''Hi Kate,'' I tried to smile at her, but it quickly slipped there was no point in pretending that everything is fine. It was far from fine I was defiantly going to see my father and be told off about my behaviour earlier.

''Jason, why are you carrying her?'' Kate quickened her pace so she could catch up with Jason's long strides. It was impressive she managed to do it especially in her three-inch heels, but then again, the woman could run in heels taller than that.

''To see her father,''

''Why?'' Kate pressed. Yes, why?

''I don't know, please go and join the others at the party''

''No, no, no big guy. I am not leaving until you give me some kind of explanation.'' I grinned. I do love her.

''I can assure you that, Ana, will be just fine.''

''Bu-''

''Kate, please.''

We suddenly stopped moving and I looked up again and noticed the pictures that decorated the hallway. Varies pictures of mum, dad, Alec and I were precisely placed on either side of the walls. My father loved having our photos everywhere, it was one of his ways of saying that he loved us. I never doubted his love. I bit my lip as I remembered what happened earlier, I can't believe I acted like that towards my own father. Guilt was starting to replace my anger, the emotion so strong that I gasped. My throat swelled up and my hands unconsciously rubbed against it, as if by some magic my fingers could massage that lump of guilt away.

Jason didn't wait for Kate to protest further. He opened the door to my father's office and walked in but just before Kai closed the door behind us, I saw Alec standing at the end of the hallway. My eyes swimming with tears once again, why did he have to see me like this. The guilt only strengthened. The lies I told him earlier were starting to eat away at me.

The doors shut and that's when Jason eventually put me down. I turned around and slowly lifted my head. My father was siting, behind his dark oak desk. He was typing on his laptop, his strokes fast and full of determination and he didn't stop when we entered completely engrossed in his task, whatever that might be. He was probably doing his usual alpha duties, as per usual, he always put the pack first and always put his family first. My heart clenched then. I just couldn't stop thinking about it, about our fight and how much I knew that I disappointed him. I knew then that I couldn't be this perfect daughter that I knew he deserved. God, he deserved the world. I felt my body violently shake as the guilt was sinking in deeper, Jason's hand rested on my shoulder, to steady me.

Was I really that unstable? Yes, I knew I was but was it that obvious?

Of course, it was. Why wouldn't it be? After all everyone saw the fight I had with my father. I was pathetic.

He was still typing.

How long has it been? Five minutes? Maybe ten? I couldn't tell. The seconds and the minutes were blending, I had no concept of time anymore. But that didn't matter anymore. I turned my head to look up at Jason and give him a weak smile. I was grateful that he tried to steady me but at the same time I knew that I was long past unstable and there was nothing in this world that was going to prevent me from falling in deeper. The only thing that I knew right then, was that I was leaving the pack, the decision final.

''Jason.'' My father's voice pierced through the already edgy atmosphere around us, making me flinch. ''Kai''

I didn't look at my father, instead my head was down, and my clammy hands were clenched in front of me.

Jason was the first one to speak. ''Yes, sir?''

''Is there anything else you want us to do?'' Kai added.

''No that is all, thank you for bringing my daughter to me. You are dismissed.''

They left without saying another word. I wanted to beg them to stay so I could at least have someone to shield me from my dad, but my lips just weren't forming the words and they wouldn't have stayed anyway. It's not like I deserved them to stay. I had to get used to being, a lone wolf, I had to do things on my own from now on.

Malia narrowed her eyes at me. I could already feel her plotting a way to make me stay. But I wasn't going to fall for her manipulative tendencies, not about this.

''Anastasia,'' Gone was the alpha voice. For now, at least.

I flinched again but I still refused to look at him.

I heard the wheels of his black leather chair rolling on the dark parquet floor. I heard the quiet squeak of the leather as he lifted his body of it. I heard the soft tapping of his black oxfords that he always wore as he neared towards me, the tapping got louder and then stopped. His shoes came into my line of sight, polished to perfection and I swear I could almost see my reflection in them.

''Look at me, please,'' he commanded. He always had everyone look him directly in the eye whenever he spoke to them, it was his way of gauging everyone's reaction whenever he spoke to them. I always thought he could read minds; he was just so good at reading people but then again, he was the alpha he had to be good.

But I couldn't do it and Malia wasn't letting me. She was wary. She knew who my father was and still remembered how he ordered her to stand down, she had every right to be wary. I was almost quivering again.

He sighed heavily and his fingers lifted my chin so that I was looking at him. ''That's better, you do remember that I want eye contact whenever I am speaking to you?''

I took a step back, forcing his hand to slip away from my chin. I didn't want to feel even more vulnerable then I already did. I nodded and forced some words out, ''Of course I remember.''

His face was expressionless which only made me go rigid. I don't think I've seen him so tense before and being the alpha forced him to make a lot of decisions that he not always agreed with, he just had to do them for the good of the pack. He never looked as tense as he does now though.

Malia started growling.

God not now! I was furious at her again. I knew it was her instinct to be defensive and on guard whenever there was an unpredictable situation in front of her, but this was not the time or place to do it.

My eyes flashed wolf.

Oh no! Stop!

I looked away quickly and blinked rapidly.

I was expecting anger, but I didn't get that instead my father said gently ''As I thought,''

I looked at him again and was also surprised that his eyes weren't flashing red at me. I knew his wolf was feeling threatened as soon as Malia flashed her eyes at him, but my dad didn't do anything about it. What in the world was going on? Why was he so… calm?

''Daddy, what are you talking about?'' I murmured, my voice almost a whisper.

''I am just going to be straight up with you about the decision that I've made for you. I need you to listen to me and I need you to listen very carefully to my explanation, okay? Can you do that baby?''

I tucked my trembling lip behind my teeth. Where was he going with this? The fact that he was being so calm and collected about it made the nerves worse. I could only nod at him, I could see some of the stiffness leave his face, his wrinkles smoothed out slightly around his eyes.

''Good girl,'' he paused briefly to take my hand in his. He led me towards the wooden chair in front of his desk and gestured for me to take a seat, I did just that. My father stopped in front of me and leaned against his desk before continuing. ''I have thought very hard, Anastasia. I am still fighting with myself about this decision, but I know deep down it is the best one for you and for the pack.''

Was he… was he telling me to go? To leave the pack.

I knew that I wanted to leave the pack myself but the fact that my own father would tell me to just… go, felt like a stab to my already bleeding heart. I inhaled sharply and braced myself for his words. If I could get through my transformation I could get through this too, regardless of how much it was going to hurt me.

''…I know you have been struggling with you wolf, Ana. I think the whole pack knows and we are here to support, remember that. They want you to be OK, your brother, your mum and I, want you to be OK. I told you on the day of your transformation that just because you are my daughter doesn't mean that I am not going to treat you like the others. What happened out there, in front of everybody needs some form of punishment. I need to punish your wolf, so she doesn't get that much out of control again.''

I released my lip and let it tremble. I could feel my raw eyes watering again. Was I seriously going to cry about it? Apparently so, I was still high on guilt.

My father cupped my cheek and rubbed away the tear that fell on my cheek, but another immediately followed. ''Princess, this is honestly breaking me. But I must do it. Your wolf is dangerous,'' his eyes softened. ''It's not your fault that she is so strong, but she needs to understand that actions have consequences. I think it will do her good to be taken to, Jake.''

I pulled away and nearly fell over when I jumped to my feet. ''You can't do that. I can't go into the cave of control! Please, daddy!'' The tears kept on running. ''I can't go there. Just let me leave the pack. I would much rather leave then go there. I have already shown everybody that I am a failure, I don't need to add to that humiliation.''

My father's expression hasn't changed. ''I have already made the decision, baby.''

I shook my head. ''No. No!''

''Anastasia, I need you to calm down.''

Malia licked her lips and howled. No one will control me!

''I am not going to calm down! You can't do this to me.'' I rubbed at my cheeks angrily. I had to stop crying.

''I am only doing this to help you, Jake can talk to you, help you. You know he is the best person for the job. I would trust him with anything.''

''I don't want his help, I am fine!'' I walked over to the cabinet and pushed the whole content on the top of it onto the floor. Glasses crashed, alcohol spilt, and documents scattered themselves all over the floor, the liquid seeped through them. I started breathing heavily and crouched onto the floor. Ouch! Why was my head hurting again!

My father rushed up towards me and sank down to my level. ''Breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth.''

Stop tell us what to do! Malia pinned her ears back at my dad.

I fought her. I fought her harder than I fought her before. I inhaled a shaky breath and exhaled but it was too quick. I had to do it slower. I needed to do it slower. I tried again and again. By the tenth time I felt the pain seep away and Malia looked away, no longer narrowing her eyes at me. The stiffness left my body but then came the shakes. I fell forwards, curling myself into almost a ball. Making myself as small as I could possible be. What was happening to me?

''Kai! Jason! I need some help over here!'' I could barely hear my father, but it didn't feel like he was here with me, it felt like he was miles away.

Then everything around me went black.

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