Surprisingly I didn't abandon this story even though it's been literal years.
Percy's P.O.V.
So I landed my TARDIS outside some motel thing I wasn't sure what it was, but Gabriel and presumably Lucifer are there so I do need to go in. I turned to Theta. "Hey, Theta should we burst the door open dramatically or sneak in and then dramatically reveal ourselves?"
"I think we should burst the door open dramatically. Let's improvise after that as usual."
"Just like the old times."
"Just like the old times." we both smiled at the same time. You should have seen us. We looked awesome and totally not like dorks.
BAM we both simultaneously kicked down the door, probably looking awesome as heck doing so. Lucifer and Gabriel turned to us. Gabriel smiled as he recognised me. He said: "Water, it's wonderful to see you after all these years and all, but the timing could have been better. I'm kinda in the middle of fighting my brother to the death. You know business as usual." He said with his i'm-so-funny face
``Also, who is that guy next to you?"
"What are you talking about my timing is always perfect, it's only been like a day for me at best. And that idiot over there is the doctor."
"Oi, who are you calling an idiot! Remember that time on Jalian 17-"
I cut the doctor of before he could continue. "Hey, we both agreed never to speak of that again." The doctor looked like he wanted to say something else, but Lucifer spoke before he could answer with what would have probably been some petty and probably sarcastic retort.
"Alright, this has gone on long enough. I don't know who you idiots are, but I won't be distracted like this." He ran towards Gabriel, who had previously just been watching the Doctor and me with an amused look on his face. Well, sh*t. Quick, Water think of something to do! I thought to myself, however, it seemed that the Doctor already had an idea of what to do.
The doctor threw his sonic screwdriver at Lucifer's head!
…..
THUMP
CLANG
"OW YOU BASTARD I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THAT!"
… Well I never said he had a good idea
Before Lucifer could lunge at the Doctor to presumably act on his threat, Gabriel took advantage of his brother's distracted state and stabbed him in the heart.
And then Lucifer died.
"Well," I said "That was rather anti-climatic"
"Water, no offense or anything, but literally everywhere you go you solve problems in like one chapter, while normally it would take multiple seasons." The Doctor said
"Hey! I know that I'm not exactly the best at dramatic battles or speeches, but that doesn't give you the right to break the fourth wall!" I responded
"Alright," Gabriel interrupted "If we could all calm down a second. The Doctor was fully in his rights to break the fourth wall this is a crack fanfic after all, but on the other hand anti-climatic or not we did save a lot of innocent people and isn't that why you guys are doing this to spare people the angst."
"I know, I know I'm just used to last minute rescues, over the top villains and clever plans while here I just threw a screwdriver at satan. I mean the last time I battled a satan it looked way cooler." The Doctor replied
"Alright Damn we'll do something epic and dramatic, Gabriel wanna come with us?"
"Eh, normally I'd say yes, but I recently got a speech from a Winchester and now I kinda feel motivated to fix shit and although Luci over there," Gabriel pointed to the corpse of Lucifer where imprints of six large wings were now burned into the ground. "is dead. I know my dumbass siblings will probably try to start the apocalypse some other way. So yeah I'll stay here and attempt to prevent that for a while."
"Alright then good luck Gabriel" I said.
"Byeeee Gabriel it was nice meeting you." Said the Doctor
"Same and good luck to you too."
The Doctor and I stepped into the TARDIS and went off.
"Well, despite the anti-clamatic ending that was pretty fun, Water."
"Well if you liked that I have some other ideas of what we could do."
The doctor smiled: "Go on"
"You know how TARDIS stands for time and relative DIMENSION is space."
"Yeah obviously, why did you put emphasis on the dimension part though?"
"Because, we're gonna be travelling to alternate dimensions!"
"... You do realize that the dimension part stands for dimension as in the third dimension, you 3D and all that."
"..."
"Stop laughing"
"I'm not."
"You're laughing with your eyes"
"Although this does explain why I had such a hard time making it go to alternate dimensions."
Aaaand now the Doctor is actually laughing. Maybe I should just throw him in the nearest black hole instead.