Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.
Word Count - 7942
Pairing - SteveTonyBucky
Warning - Amnesia.
Forget You
Waking was slow. The continuous beep-beep-beep bled into his conscious first, informing him that he'd once more landed himself in the hospital. It was—unfortunately—a very common occurrence in his life.
Pepper was going to shout at him again.
He blinked his eyes open slowly, wincing at the low light in the white hospital room. Really, why did they think that white everything was a good idea? Waking up to something a little more interesting than white would be much more fun.
He vaguely wondered if he could convince Pepper to lobby for colourful walls in the private hospital he was often treated in. He thought probably not, but it was worth a try.
Tony shifted in the bed, pain shooting through his whole body when he did. Jesus, had he been hit by a train? He felt like he'd been hit by a train. This was way worse than being run over by a bus.
"Tony?"
"Oh my god, Tony! You're awake!"
Tony blinked and then tilted his head. They must have him on the good stuff if he was hallucinating this kind of realness. Rogers and Barnes looked entirely solid which was new. Usually his hallucinations were less… there.
Huh.
"Tony…" Rogers was frowning at him. "You're not hallucinating."
Oh. He'd said all that outloud. Oops?
"You're concussed," Barnes filled in for him. He was smiling fondly, and Tony wasn't sure what to make of that, because he was at least 98 percent sure that Barnes hated his very existence. He certainly didn't smile fondly at Tony.
Ever.
"Um. Pep?" he asked, glancing at the door. This was too weird, and when Tony was faced with things that were too weird, he needed Pepper. She always made things make more sense.
"On her way," Rogers assured him, pulling the uncomfortable plastic hospital chair right up to Tony's bedside.
Then he did the oddest thing.
He wrapped both of his hands around Tony's and lifted it to his mouth to press a soft kiss against the palm.
Tony stared. What the bloody hell was going on? He tugged his hand away from Rogers' gentle grip and held it protectively against his chest. Rogers watched him, a wounded look in his eyes, but Tony couldn't care about that right now.
Sure, they were all trying to get on better after their 'Civil-War' but there was attempting not to kill each other and then there was… whatever Rogers was doing now.
"Tony… are you alright?" Barnes asked, sitting down on the bottom of Tony's bed. "You're being… odd."
"Um. Pep?"
"She's on her way," Rogers reiterated, and oh, right, he'd already said that. Tony frowned. He needed her to be here now, because something was going on and he didn't like it.
Before either of them could say anything else, and confuse Tony even more, there was a familiar click-clack of heels, and then he saw a flash of red that suggested Pepper had arrived. Sure enough, a few seconds later, she swept into the room.
She looked as beautiful as she always did, and Tony smiled at her on reflex when, without even acknowledging Barnes or Rogers, she sat down on the side of Tony's bed and swept his hair from his forehead.
"You've really gotta stop face planting into buildings," she murmured, shaking her head at him. "You're going to give me grey hair."
"Sorry, Pep."
"Uh huh. You're okay? I know you have a concussion and bruised ribs, but you feel okay?"
"Sore," Tony confirmed. "But uh. Pep?"
"Hmm?"
"Why are Rogers and Barnes here?"
He'd meant to whisper, but for the silence in the room he may as well have shouted the words. Tony expected Pepper to find it as weird as he did, but when she glanced at the two super soldiers and then returned her gaze to Tony, he could see concern and worry in her eyes.
"Why wouldn't they be here, sweetheart?" she asked, and he could hear the hesitance in her voice and he didn't like it.
"I don't understand," Tony admitted, scowling as he looked down at his hands. "They shouldn't be here. They can barely even look at me most days."
Pepper tucked her fingers beneath his chin and made him look up at her. "Tony, you've been dating them for six months."
…
Steve sat outside the hospital room, his head resting in his hands. Bucky sat beside him, staring at the wall, his eyes blank in a way they hadn't been for months. Pepper was still inside with Tony and two doctors, but the serum meant that Steve had no problem hearing their conversation.
Amnesia.
Steve honestly thought that they'd had all the bad luck they could possibly get. Surely there had to be a balance to it? This might just be the thing to tip the scales entirely. After everything they'd been through, separately and together, Steve had hoped that they could just have this one good thing.
He'd hoped that he'd be able to keep it.
And now…
A tear fell from his eye and splashed onto the linoleum floor.
Inside the hospital room, he could hear Tony denying their relationship, could hear him practically begging Pepper to tell him this was all some elaborate joke, and Steve hadn't believed his heart could break any further until it did.
The last six months had been some of the hardest, but best, of Steve's life. Making Tony believe that they loved him, that they wanted him, had been difficult, and it hadn't always gone well, but he'd thought that they'd finally managed it.
Tony had finally started to relax into the relationship, believe it when Bucky went to the lab just for a cuddle, or that Steve had brought him coffee just because he wanted to see him. He'd started to realise that he was as important to them as they were to each other.
Now that was all gone and they were back at square one.
Steve didn't know if Bucky could go through it all again—especially when Tony was such an important cornerstone of his continued recovery.
Pepper stepped out of the room and in front of them. Steve looked up and felt Bucky do the same beside him.
"I'm going to assume you both heard most of that?" she asked, nodding to the room.
Steve nodded.
"They don't believe it's permanent," she said softly. "But these things are tricky. He might not remember everything ever, and there's a small possibility that he'll never regain any of his memories."
Steve swallowed hard and nodded.
"He's scared," Pepper added quietly. "He'll never admit as much, but I know him better than he knows himself, and he's terrified that he's missing almost an entire year of his life. You both need to take it easy with him, and let him come to you at his own pace. If you try and push him, he'll run, and he'll never stop running."
Steve knew she was right, but the thought of just waiting was almost as bad as the idea that Tony might never regain the memories he'd lost. Bucky shifted beside him and ran his metal hand over his face.
His metal hand that Tony had lovingly built for him.
"Is there anything we can do for him?" Bucky asked, his voice gravelly with emotion. Steve reached out and gripped his flesh hand tightly.
Pepper shook her head. "For now, just let him be. They're going to keep him for observation until his concussion is gone, and for once, he's not arguing. I'll stay with him until Rhodey gets here, and we'll take care of him between us for now. If he gets his memories back, I'll call you."
Steve closed his eyes and leant back against the wall. "We'll stay out here for a while," he managed to force out. "I know—I know he doesn't want us in there, but… it doesn't feel right to go home without him."
Pepper seemed to soften. Steve knew that she struggled with the pair of them sometimes, her anger over the Civil-War hadn't abated—Steve didn't believe it ever would fully and he didn't blame her for that—and the fact that she was even keeping them in the loop was something he was infinitely grateful for.
"I can't stop you from staying here, but you know he'll be mad that you haven't looked after yourself when he gets his memories back. You both look terrible. Food and sleep is definitely something you both need."
Bucky chuckled wetly and when Steve looked at him, he could see the tears brimming in his eyes. "You're right. He would be mad about that."
Tony was always ragging on them to eat, especially after a battle. Their metabolism being what it was, they did require a substantial amount of calories after the adrenaline wore off.
Pepper's lips quirked up and she nodded. "Then go home and take care of yourselves. I have access to JARVIS, he'll alert you if there is anything new or if anything changes, okay?"
Steve sighed but nodded. She was right, as much as it pained Steve to even think about going home while Tony was laid up in a hospital bed.
At the mention of the AI, Bucky perked up. "Have you told him about JARVIS yet? Because the timing… I don't think he'll remember that he managed to fix him, and it'll be a bit of a shock to him if—"
"If he hears the voice of the AI that he thought was gone. Good call, I'll make sure he's told about that before he leaves here. Thanks, Barnes."
Pepper nodded back and then stepped away, returning to Tony's room. Steve looked down to where his hand was still joined with Bucky's and he squeezed it gently. "Come on, Buck. Let's go and eat and shower. We can come back later and sit out here, okay?"
Silently, Bucky let Steve prompt him to his feet and lead him down the corridor. Steve's legs felt like they were made of concrete, and every step away from Tony only made them feel heavier.
Nothing about this was right, and he could only pray to all the gods that Tony would regain his memories—and soon.
…
Tony lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. He was still trying to make sense of what had happened, and his concussion wasn't helping.
He just… couldn't imagine any situation in which he'd be dating the two super soldiers. Not least because the last he could remember, they avoided him like the plague and he returned the gesture with bells on.
They only really ever interacted during a battle, and then it was only in short, clipped sentences over the comms.
And now they were dating?
Tony couldn't help but wonder if he'd fallen into another universe. The multiverse—once something he didn't believe in—would definitely make more sense than any of this. Maybe Reed had been playing with things best left alone again.
Logically, Tony knew that hadn't happened, but he couldn't help but wish it had. It would be a better, clearer explanation at least. He hated feeling so confused and wrong-footed.
Sighing, Tony closed his eyes. While he usually hated being stuck in the hospital, he had to admit that he was grateful for the reprieve.
At least here, he could ensure there was a door and a wall between himself, Rogers and Barnes. He didn't know a lot about Barnes, but he knew that Rogers had a stubborn streak a mile wide.
If Rogers wanted to be around Tony, if he wanted to continue pushing this… whatever it was… then nothing would stop him.
Just before he fell asleep, Tony wondered if maybe a tour of SI's international setups wasn't a good idea.
He just wanted to be anywhere but here.
…
Apparently, Tony's goodwill towards Rogers and Barnes had extended to the rest of the Avengers' who'd sided with Cap in the Civil-War. During his time in the hospital, each one of them had visited at least once.
It was weird. Really weird. And uncomfortable. Tony wasn't quite sure what to say to any of them, given the way avoidance had been the whole sum of their relationship the last he remembered.
Thankfully, once Rhodey had arrived, he hadn't left, so Tony hadn't had to deal with any of the visits alone.
His Honeybear had been a lifesaver, especially when Bruce appeared.
Tony hadn't known what to say to the other scientist. He had no memory of Bruce's return at all, so seeing him had been a shock he hadn't expected.
Honestly, apart from Rhodey, Carol, Pepper and Stephen, the only person Tony had been comfortable with was Thor. The God of Thunder was consistently himself; a wonderful thing for an amnesiac.
While for Tony, he hadn't seen Thor for a long time, they still fell back into the familiar pattern of their friendship as though no time had passed at all—the same way they always did.
Tony focused on not being an asshole too much, and looked for Rhodey to fill in the awkwardness with the rest of the team, and it seemed to work. Thankfully, Rogers and Barnes didn't try and come back, though Rhodey did say that they were at the hospital almost the entire time Tony was.
Which was… something. Tony didn't really want to dwell on it.
…
"They're letting him home today," Rhodes said, leaning against the wall beside the cafeteria table Steve and Bucky had claimed as their own. "His concussion is all but gone, and his ribs are healing well."
Steve smiled. No matter that Tony's memories hadn't yet resurfaced, it was still nice to hear that their genius was on the mend.
"Any progress with his memory?" Bucky asked, meeting Rhodes' eyes and practically pleading wordlessly for Rhodes to give him some hope to hold onto.
They both knew the answer, though it didn't stop them from deflating when Rhodes shook his head. "Not yet, but it's only been a few days. These things can take time, you know? Try not to take it too hard."
"Not sure there's any other way to take it," Bucky admitted, looking down at the food he'd been pushing around his plate. "How is he doing though? I know that losing memories is… hard to deal with."
Steve swallowed hard. He knew that this kind of situation had to be really hard on Bucky, who had personal, if different, experience with amnesia and missing memories.
"He's okay," Rhodes replied, with a huff. "Slowly getting himself back together enough to annoy the shit out of the hospital personnel."
The two of them smiled, because that was their Tony.
"Anyway," Rhodes added, "I know what Pepper said about not pushing him, and I agree with her for the most part, but I think you should both be there when we take him home. You know that I wasn't… happy, when the three of you got together, and honestly, I'm still not completely convinced that you two are good for him."
Steve opened his mouth to protest, but Rhodey held his hand up to stop him.
"However, I can't deny that the two of you made him happy, and I want that for him more than anything. Maybe seeing you in a familiar setting will help him start to remember what he's missing."
"It's worth a try," Steve agreed.
At this point, he was willing to try anything that might help.
…
Tony had quite the entourage when he left the hospital. He'd expected Rhodey, and maybe even Pepper, but Clint, Natasha and Bruce were an unexpected addition when he finally stepped out of the hospital room.
He didn't say anything—unsure if there was anything to actually say—but he quirked an unimpressed eyebrow at Rhodey.
Thankfully, there were two cars waiting, and while Tony, Pepper and Rhodey slid into Happy's car, the others climbed into the one parked behind it.
"We're not going to the Tower?" He asked, when Happy pulled into the traffic in the opposite direction.
"The Compound," Rhodey corrected. "We all live there again, now Tones. I told you that the other day."
"I, uh. I guess I just thought that given, uh, my memory being swiss cheese and all that we'd maybe, you know, stick to the Tower for a while?"
"The doctor recommended keeping things as they were before the accident in the hopes that it will help you remember. So, Compound it is. I'll be there, Tones, and the bots are there waiting for you. DUM-E has been insufferable while you've been in hospital. He misses his daddy."
Tony nodded and smiled slightly at the mention of his oldest bot. DUM-E never handled it well when Tony was away, and he knew that the bot would be clingy and needy in the coming days. It was sweet.
"The whole team lives there full time?" He asked, just to be sure.
Before, he'd spent as little time as possible at the Compound, usually only one or two days a week unless there was a battle that required him, so spending all of his time there seemed like a big jump.
It was still hard to believe that he could be around the team without feeling awkward and wanting to escape.
"Most of us," Rhodey confirmed. "Stephen only drops by occasionally, and Thor splits his time between us and Jane, but other than that, everyone is there most of the time."
"Right. I uh."
He cut himself off, and Pepper squeezed his hand. "It's going to be alright, Tones. You'll settle back in, and hopefully, the memories will start to resurface once you're somewhere familiar."
"I just… how did any of that, I mean. I don't—" Frustrated, Tony shook his head. He'd been having problems putting his thoughts into words, especially when the subject of Rogers and Barnes came up. "I don't understand how everything changed so much. I mean… Why did I think a poly relationship was a good idea? I can barely handle one person, Pep! You know that! And with those two? Barnes—okay, I know he didn't have a choice, and it wasn't really him, I get it, but like… his hands were still the ones that killed my mother. What the bloody hell was I thinking?"
"Oddly enough, Barnes was the one you struggled with least," Rhodey replied softly. "I think because you realise that almost all of what he did was without agency, you found him the easiest to deal with. It took longer with Rogers."
"I guess I just don't really understand the why, and I don't even want to contemplate the how. And yet…" Tony shook his head. "There's something deep inside of me that… wants them. I keep looking around and part of me just expects them to be there, and I'm disappointed when they're not."
"That's a good thing, Tones," Pepper said softly. "Means the memories aren't completely gone. A part of you knows how you feel about them, even if you don't quite remember it yet. It'll come."
Tony nodded and looked out of the window. The worst thing, that he hadn't articulated to anyone, was that he wasn't sure if he wanted it to come back.
…
Stepping into the Compound was both familiar and not. Hearing JARVIS' voice was incredible and slightly overwhelming, because while Pepper had told him about it, it was still a lot to hear the familiar voice again.
"Welcome home, Sir."
"Jay," Tony breathed out. "It's so good to hear your voice."
"I'm glad to see you too, Sir."
Tony grinned at one of the camera's, and then frowned. "What about FRIDAY? Is she still installed too or-"
"You gifted her to me," Pepper said, smiling at him. "She's connected to JARVIS, and she handles the SI side of things, while JARVIS is, as always, your babysitter and a helping hand for the team."
Tony rolled his eyes but nodded. He was glad he hadn't just left FRIDAY to fester. She wasn't as advanced as JARVIS of course, but she'd been getting better everyday and he'd been proud of her.
They stepped into the common area, and Tony stopped when he saw Barnes and Rogers sitting on the sofa. The two of them were clearly attempting to be casual, but Tony could see the tenseness in their bodies, could see the longing in their eyes when they looked at him, and he noticed the way Barnes seemed to reach for him before his arm fell back into his lap.
It made Tony feel uncomfortable, knowing that the two of them had apparently been dating him, had cuddled him and kissed him and probably done much more than that with him, while Tony had no memory of any of it.
It was a strange situation, although Tony had to admit that it must be strange for them too. He nodded to them hesitantly, unsure of what to say.
"I'm glad you're home, Tony," Rogers said quietly. "You're looking better."
Tony nodded. "Uh. Thanks."
"Have you been down to the workshop yet?" Barnes asked, eyebrows raised. "DUM-E has been hyper since we told him you were coming home today, he's excited to see you."
"You, uh. You've been down to see my bots?" Tony asked, brow furrowing slightly.
Barnes nodded. "Of course. They get lonely without you, I didn't want them to be alone for too long."
The simplicity of the sentence was almost too much for Tony to bear. That Barnes would go to the lab, strictly so that the bots didn't get lonely… it made Tony's heart ache in an unfamiliar yet familiar way.
"I uh. I should go and see them. Excuse me," he murmured, stepping with purpose over to the elevator that would take him down to the workshops. Rhodey and Pepper offered to go with him, but he shook his head.
All he wanted to do was see his bots, talk to JARVIS and pretend, just for a while, that everything was normal.
…
Bucky stared at the elevator long after the doors had closed and hidden Tony from them. Steve sat beside him, knowing that there was nothing he could say to make either of them feel better.
"You know what we have to do, right?" Bucky offered eventually, his voice livelier than it had been since Tony had first been knocked into the building.
"Hmm?"
"He fell in love with us once," Bucky said softly. "We can help him do it again."
"Buck, he might get his memories back," Steve replied. "We don't—"
"And what if he doesn't?" Bucky demanded, sitting up straighter. "I won't lose him to this, Stevie. We love him, and even if he doesn't remember it, he loves us too."
Steve nodded, because he knew that. "We shouldn't push him, Buck. Pepper was right about that, we'll only end up chasing him away."
Bucky turned to look at Steve, his eyebrow arching. "I'm not going to sit around and wait for memories that might never return. I'm going to make my genius love me again. I miss him, Stevie, and I know you do too. He's ours as we're his and… I need him."
Steve bit his lip, thinking. He knew that Bucky was right, but he also knew that Pepper hadn't been wrong when she said that Tony would run if pushed. He hated the conflicted feelings but this was too important to get wrong.
Tony was too important for them to make mistakes. Steve had promised him, pressed the words into Tony's bare shoulder, that he'd never hurt him again.
He refused to go back on that—even if it meant hurting himself in the process.
"We can't push him," he said eventually, hating the way it made Bucky's face fall. "But we can be there with him—for him—as much as he'll let us."
"What if he won't let us?" Bucky asked, the fight leaving him as quickly as it had arrived.
"Then we wait. He'll get his memories back, Buck. I have to believe that, and so do you. He'll remember that he loves us. He'll remember we love him."
Bucky buried his face against Steve's chest, his shoulders shaking slightly as he let go of the pent up fear and pain from the last few days. Steve held him as he cried, rocked him slightly and ignored the tears falling down his own face.
"He'll remember, Buck. He has too. I don't know what we'll do if he doesn't."
…
"Hey honey, think you can take a break?" Bucky asked, his hands settling on Tony's shoulders. "We're going to watch a Disney movie with Thor, and I know how much you love his reactions."
Tony leant back against Bucky's chest, twisting his neck to look at his soldier. "Hmm. Can you give me… twenty minutes?"
"Of course," Bucky agreed, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Tony's lips. "We're not starting for half an hour, but I wanted to give you a chance to finish up whatever you're doing."
"Just when I think you can't get any more perfect," Tony teased, and Bucky smiled down at him and it was—
A hand on his shoulder broke Tony out of the—memory? Flashback? He didn't know—and Tony looked up to see Rhodey standing beside him, a small smile on his face.
"I uh, I think I saw a bit of a memory?" Tony said quietly, rubbing a hand over his face. "I don't know? It was Barnes, and me, here. He uh, we seemed comfortable?"
Rhodey took a seat on the battered sofa in the workshop and nodded. "I'm not surprised, he spent quite a lot of time in here with you. Is that the first memory you've got back?"
Tony twisted his lips slightly. "I'm not sure. I had… dreams last night that could have been memories, in context. I just… it's hard to believe that they're real. It just doesn't make any sense."
Rhodey sighed. "I wish I knew how to help you with this, Tones."
"Can you just… how did it start? Because I'm very stuck on that, you know?"
Chuckling, Rhodey nodded. "I can see that. It was slow, and I don't know the exact moment it started. You know my rules on romantic gushing, Tones, there are some things I just really don't need to know."
Tony snorted.
"You saved Barnes' life—pulled a stupid stunt to do it too—and he yelled at you for it. It was quite a sight to see actually."
"He yelled at me for saving his life?" Tony asked, brow furrowing. "Why?"
"Because you put yourself in danger to do it. He was fuming that you'd gotten hurt to save him, and he wasn't shy about letting you know that. He stayed with you the whole time the medics patched you up, to make sure you didn't try to escape."
"I bet Rogers loved that," Tony muttered, wincing when he realised how bitter he sounded. "So then, he what? Decided to court me and dragged his boyfriend along for the ride?"
"I don't think it was a conscious decision at first," Rhodey admitted. "But after that, Barnes made more of an effort to seek you out, and you let him. You didn't turn him away from the 'shop, and he never stopped coming. After a while, Rogers started tagging along with him, and you never said he couldn't."
Tony nodded and leant back in his seat. He supposed it made sense that it had been a gradual thing. He often got so distracted that it wasn't beyond belief to think that they'd just… slipped into his life like that.
"Okay, so that's how the avoidance stopped," he agreed after a long pause. "We were friends?"
"I think it built into a friendship," Rhodey replied. "You and Rogers, it's always been all or nothing for the two of you. It wasn't really a surprise that you went from avoiding each other to spending so much time together."
Tony blinked at his best friend. He supposed he could see the point, but the extremes between himself and Rogers had always seemed to edge more to the bad extremes than the good. Not that Tony could or would blame that solely on Rogers—Tony had made plenty of his own mistakes—but Tony had to admit that he struggled to think about being on good terms with Steve.
Even when they'd been friends, there had always been an edge of something darker to their relationship.
"You'll get your memories back, Tones. The fact that you're already seeing flashes of them is a good sign, you know?"
Tony looked up at Rhodey, twisting his hands together. "What if I don't want to?"
Rhodey sighed. "Nobody can force you to do anything you don't want to do—even if you do get your memories back. You know that I'm here for you right? I'm on your side, Tones, I've always been on your side."
"I know that," Tony admitted. "I love you, Honeybear."
"I love you too, Tones. Anyway, I came down to get you for movie night. You up for it?"
Tony hesitated. "I uh."
"You can sit with me and we'll heckle Clint's movie choice," Rhodey cajoled, smiling. "I'll even let you have salty popcorn, you heathen."
Chuckling, Tony nodded. "You've convinced me."
…
The room was full by the time Tony and Rhodey stepped inside, and Tony's eyes seemed to automatically zoom in on the sofa Rogers and Barnes were sitting on.
Tony giggled throwing another piece of popcorn for Steve to catch in his mouth. Tony was leaning back against Bucky, pressed between the two soldiers on the sofa.
Clint made gagging sounds from his own seat, and Bucky threw a pillow at him, his sniper aim meaning that it hit right on target.
Still laughing, Tony snuggled down between the two soldiers and gestured to the TV. "Come on then, Legolas, horrify us with your movie choice."
"Tony?" Bucky asked, watching the genius through concerned eyes. "You okay?"
Tony swallowed hard and nodded, letting Rhodey lead him to a wide armchair. Rhodey sat first and held his arms out so that Tony could flop down on him, legs over the arm of the chair, head pillowed on the other.
"Another memory?" Rhodey asked quietly, although Tony didn't doubt that both of the supersoldiers heard him.
Silently he nodded, leaning heavier against Rhodey as he kept his eyes trained on the TV.
…
Steve watched with barely concealed jealousy as Rhodey helped a sleepy Tony from the living room. Usually, it would be Steve's job to carry his boyfriend to bed when he inevitably fell asleep watching a movie, and he hated that he hadn't been able to do it.
"At least he turned up, right?" Clint asked, breaking the silence in the room. "That's progress."
"He's starting to remember," Steve said, finally turning away from the door Tony and Rhodey had exited through. "He remembered something when he came into the room earlier."
"He'll get there, Steve," Nat said quietly. "Hopefully sooner than later. It's hard for everyone to see him like this."
Steve nodded, ashamed that he hadn't really thought about how hard it was for their friends to once again have Tony avoid them. They'd all worked really hard—Tony included—to rebuild the family that they'd been, and it was hurting all of them to have Tony retreat away from them, even if they understood why.
Bruce especially had been watching Tony with the look of a kicked puppy on his face whenever Tony didn't automatically sweep over to talk to him when they were in the same room.
"Have faith, my friends," Thor said, gazing over them all. "The memories of the Man of Iron may have been lost, but our friend is still with us. Should his memories not return, we can recreate the bond between us once more."
Steve saw Bucky nod from the corner of his eye, and he wondered if he actually believed that they could. Steve wasn't sure.
…
Stepping back into the Tower brought a wealth of relief to Tony. There was just something so right about being back there, and he relaxed properly for the first time since leaving the hospital as the elevator rose up through the floors.
He'd come to the city to see Pepper, and to take a look at what R&D had been messing up in his absence, but the overwhelming relief of being away from the Compound had made those reasons secondary to his just having a little bit of peace.
Stepping into the penthouse, Tony froze. There weren't a lot of differences to the last time Tony remembered being there, but the differences that he could see were enough to make him pause.
A jacket that Tony knew was Steve's hung amongst Tony's own, and there was a design photo on the wall of Bucky's metal arm.
Tony stepped forwards cautiously, looking around. His heart was stuttering in his chest with every new visible change, and he swayed on his feet.
Tony leant into Steve's side, watching Bucky pottering around in the kitchen.
"You know you didn't have to come up here, right? I'm only going to be here for a few days, you could have both stayed home."
Steve kissed the tip of Tony's nose and smiled down at him. "Wherever you are is our home, Sweetheart."
Tony blinked and put a hand out to steady himself against the wall. He'd thought the Tower would be free of the memory flashes. He hadn't realised that they'd been here with him, and it was unnerving to know that even here, he'd let them in.
He staggered over to the sofa and sat down, leaning back into the plush cushions.
It didn't seem to matter where he went, they'd moved into his life at every turn, leaving him floundering without his memories to give him the context to trust anything.
They looked at him like they loved him, and something deep inside him told Tony that the feeling was entirely mutual, but he couldn't bring himself to open up to them. He didn't know how he'd found the strength to do that the first time around.
"Sir, your meeting with Miss Potts is due to start in twenty minutes," JARVIS intoned, his tone soft.
Tony nodded. "Okay, Jay. Tell FRIDAY I'll be there in fifteen."
…
Tony woke to his phone ringing, and he clumsily reached out for it, answering it without checking the caller ID.
"H'lo?"
"Tony?"
Tony nearly dropped his phone when Steve's panicked voice sounded in his ear. "What's wrong?"
"Bucky was in the gym, and I don't know what happened, but he's in so much pain with his arm. I wouldn't have phoned you, but nobody knows what to do to help him and he's crying, Tony, and I just—"
"Hey, it's okay," Tony interrupted. "Is he there with you right now?"
"Yes."
"Okay, in the panel on his forearm, there's a deadswitch. Bucky has a small set of tools he keeps with him at all times, get that from him."
Tony could hear muffled conversation and the sound of movement, and then Steve was back, confirming he had the tools. Tony talked him through opening the panel up and switching the nerve connections off so that the pain would stop.
In the background, he could hear Bucky's gasps of pain and then relief when the arm was turned off.
"Tony, thank you," Steve said, his tone calmer now that he wasn't listening to Bucky in pain. "I'm really sorry for waking you up, I just… I didn't know what else to do."
"It's fine," Tony replied automatically. Now that he wasn't working on autopilot, he was stuck on the way that he'd known exactly what to do. He had no memory of making that arm, and he certainly didn't have a memory of giving Bucky a set of tools for emergencies, so how had he known?
"I'll get myself sorted and then fly back to the Compound and take a look at it," Tony added, when he realised how long he'd been silent for. "I'll be a couple of hours."
"Oh," Steve sounded surprised. "That would be great. I know you're not due to come back until tomorrow, I'm sure Buck can manage until then if you—"
"That arm weighs a tonne," Tony replied, rolling his eyes. "I won't leave him to heft it around as dead weight, Steve. I'll see you in a couple of hours."
"I… okay, Tony. Thank you."
Tony ended the call and threw his phone on the bed, slumping back against the pillows. He didn't question the warm feeling in his chest and instead just pulled a pillow over his face and groaned.
Bloody supersoldiers.
…
"He called me Steve."
Bucky looked up to see Steve staring at the phone in his hand, a look of surprised wonder on his face. "What?"
"Tony. He called me Steve! And he called you Bucky!"
Bucky blinked. "Those are our names, Punk."
"He's been calling us by our surnames," Steve replied, rolling his eyes. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed, because I've seen you flinch every single time."
Bucky's eyes widened, and his cheeks flushed slightly. "Did you, uh, notice that he knew exactly where the deadswitch was too? He shouldn't have known that."
Steve nodded. "And he knew that he'd given you the mini toolkit."
"Did he, uh, say if he could fix it for me?" Bucky asked, shifting and wincing at the weight of the arm.
"Oh," Steve blushed. "Sorry. He's flying back tonight. Said he'll be a couple of hours. I, uh, I got distracted because he didn't call me 'Rogers', sorry, Buck."
Huffing, clearly amused, Bucky couldn't help but smile widely at Steve. "You know what this means, right?"
"Hmm?"
"He still cares, Stevie. Even without his memories, he knew exactly how to ease my pain, and he's coming home early to fix me up. Even without knowing how much he loves us, he still cares."
…
Tony stepped into the workshop, unsurprised to find Steve sitting with Bucky on the sofa. He'd had JARVIS alert the supersoldiers when he was almost back and asked them to meet him down there.
What he didn't expect was to see DUM-E and U with them, apparently carefully wrestling over a spanner.
Tony stood close to the door for a long moment, just watching, until DUM-E realised he was back and immediately abandoned the spanner to spin over to Tony, greeting him cheerfully, his claw carefully gripping at Tony's shirt.
It was gratifying to know how much his bots loved him, as he ran a hand along DUM-E's strut.
"You been entertaining our guests, Dum-Dum?"
DUM-E beeped enthusiastically, spinning around on the spot.
"Alright, alright, how about you let me get some work done now, huh?" Tony asked. "Are you going to be my helper bot?"
DUM-E beeped again, and Tony grinned. "Okay, first thing first then, how about you go and help U and Butterfingers clean up, hmm? And then you can help me."
DUM-E joined his siblings and Tony glanced over at the soldiers to see them both watching him with warm fondness evident in their expressions.
"Come on then, Snowflake, let's have a—"
Tony cut himself off when he realised what he'd said, and he felt his cheeks heat up. To his credit, Bucky didn't smile too wide, as he clambered off the sofa and sat down in the chair beside Tony's own, his arm setting down on the table with a clunk.
Shaking himself out of his embarrassment, Tony joined Bucky by the table and arranged some tools as JARVIS pulled up the specs for the arm. As much as Tony seemed to remember the details, he didn't want to mess anything up as he worked because he thought he knew what he was doing.
The silence he worked in was comfortable, and Bucky seemed utterly relaxed under Tony's careful fingers, which was a revelation in and of itself.
Tony's memories of Bucky flinching at the mere thought of being in a workshop were fresh in Tony's mind, after all.
Finally, hours that felt like mere minutes later, Tony closed the last panel up and gestured for Bucky to do a series of arm movements. Glancing over at the sofa, Tony realised that Steve was fast asleep, his mouth open slightly and a thin trail of drool at the corner of his lips.
It was oddly adorable.
"He hasn't been sleeping very well," Bucky said quietly, following Tony's gaze.
"I know the feeling," Tony replied softly, watching Bucky's arm movements critically, checking for any sticking or grinding.
"How are you doing, sweetheart?" Bucky asked, turning his attention back to Tony. "I know that missing memories are never fun, how are you holding up with it?"
Tony stared at Bucky for a minute. "I uh. I guess you can empathise more than most."
Bucky's lips tilted up when he nodded.
"I can. The situations are also very different though, and I can't imagine how hard it is for you to have to be around all of us, knowing that you're missing the last year."
"I started remembering things," Tony offered. "It's just flashes, and they don't… I guess they don't really make sense to me, but I'm getting them."
"Yeah? You wanna tell me about them?"
Tony bit his lip. "It's just… little moments. I remembered sitting on the sofa between the two of you, throwing popcorn into Steve's mouth, and I remembered you coming down here. I have flashes of us eating together, and uh, I had one at the tower of you coming up with me for a weekend."
Bucky smiled fully, and Tony couldn't help but think it was beautiful.
"It's weird, you know? Like, I still… I have feelings that don't really make sense, even though I know that they'd make sense if I still had my memories? I keep looking around and just… expecting you to be there, and it feels really weird when you're not. I don't—" Tony shook his head. "It's just a lot."
"We'll wait as long as it takes, you know?" Bucky offered quietly. "And we'll take whatever you can give us. This situation, it sucks so hard because all we want to do is gather you up between us where you belong and keep you there, but even without the memories… you're still ours, Tony. We're still yours. We'll be yours until you can tell us unequivocally that you don't want us."
"I feel bad," Tony admitted. "I can see how much it hurts you when I don't… I can see how much you're hurting too. I don't want to be the cause of that. I think… sometimes I think it would be better if you just gave up."
Bucky arched his eyebrow. "Would you?"
"Would I what?"
"Give up? If, say, Pepper or Rhodey lost their memories of you. Would you give up, or would you wait as long as it took to get them back?"
"I understand what you're saying," Tony admitted, leaning back in his chair. "I just… I don't want to be the cause of more hurt, and if I don't get my memories back, you're just going to be hurting all the time and it'll be my fault."
Bucky reached out and squeezed his hand. "Don't worry about us. We're big boys, and we can handle it, okay. Just… focus on yourself, Tones. We're not going anywhere."
Tony wasn't really sure what to say to that, but it turned out that he didn't even have to try and think of something.
The Avengers alarm sounded through the Compound, startling both Tony and Bucky.
Steve, on the other hand, simply fell off the sofa.
…
"Okay, seriously, why is it always him?" Clint complained, stretching himself out in the uncomfortable chair.
"Because he's a reckless asshole," Rhodes grumbled from his own seat in the waiting area. "And because even without his memories, when he loves, he loves hard."
Steve swallowed hard, and stared down at his hands. He knew that Rhodes wasn't trying to make him feel guilty, but he was feeling it anyway. It was his fault that Tony was, once again, laid up in a hospital bed.
He'd gotten distracted and almost paid the price for it. Tony had noticed and flown in to save him, only to be blasted back into a wall. The way Tony had screamed his name was on repeat in Steve's mind, and he knew that the panicked tone would feature in his nightmares for a long time to come.
Raised voices came from the corridor and Steve looked up in time to see a doctor appear in the doorway.
"Mr Stark is awake and demanding the presence of Steve and Bucky," the doctor said flatly, clearly annoyed.
Rhodes snorted, because the doctor was new and clearly was not used to dealing with superheroes who didn't do so well in hospitals.
Steve and Bucky were on their feet and herding the doctor towards the room, stepping around him when he didn't move fast enough.
As soon as Steve stepped into Tony's room, the genius reached out for him. "Are you okay? Were you hurt?"
"I'm fine," Steve replied, squeezing Tony's hand comfortingly. "I promise. Not a scratch."
Tony eyed him critically but nodded and then looked at Bucky over his shoulder. "And you, Snowflake? You're okay?"
Bucky stared at him for a long moment, and Tony blushed.
"You got your memories back?"
Tony nodded sheepishly. "Turns out I just needed another knock to the noggin?"
Steve laughed, relief and quite possibly mild hysteria running through him, and he shifted forwards to press a kiss to Tony's lips, smiling when Tony kissed him back without hesitation. A whine behind him made him move out of the way so Bucky could repeat the action, his metal hand reaching up to stroke through Tony's hair.
"We missed you, sweetheart."
The two supersoldiers sat on each side of Tony, crowding him in the bed as they each took up one of his hands in their own.
"M'sorry," Tony mumbled. "I know it must have been hard for both of you. I know how hard you've worked to make me believe that we could work."
"Hey, no need for apologies," Bucky chided gently. "I told you that we would have waited as long as it took, didn't I? I meant it, Kitten. You're a little bit stuck with us now, I'm afraid."
Tony smiled shyly and Steve couldn't stop himself from leaning over to press a soft kiss to his cheek.
"I'm so glad you're okay."
Nodding, Tony glanced at the door and then grinned. "So… are you gonna break me out, or what?"
…
Steve shifted on the bed, careful of Tony's bruises.
The genius was lying between him and Bucky, fast asleep despite his assurances that he would have been absolutely fine to go straight to the workshop to get some work done.
Bucky smiled at him from the other pillow, before his own eyes closed, an air of contentment about him that had been missing.
Steve smiled to himself.
"I love you," he whispered against Tony's hair, pressing a kiss to his temple.
Tony wriggled slightly, and pressed himself more against Steve, his hand gripping Steve's t-shirt.
With their genius back where he belonged, Steve let himself drift off to sleep.