Chapter Sixty-Six: A Twinkly-Eyed Explanation

…

The next time he woke he was still in pain but it was bearable and he could move, though slowly. He took several minutes to scooch himself back so he was propped up against the cushions.

"Ah, you're awake good." He jolted and let out a gasp of pain at the sudden movement shocked to find Dumbledore sitting at his bedside.

"...Umb…." His word came out slurred his tongue feeling unusually large in his mouth.

"Don't try to speak Remus you see one of the rather unfortunate side effects of the counter potion is a rather uncomfortably enlarged tongue. You wouldn't want to bite it attempting to speak." Remus blinked at Dumbledore who had responded cheerfully and was looking at him with a small smile as if he had never avoided looking at Remus before.

The headmaster unfolded a cloth bundle and held up a bottle filled with some sort of thick liquid.

"I'm sure you have lots of questions. I find it always best to start at the beginning of things don't you Mr. Lupin?" He nodded his head slightly to show he agreed and was paying attention.

"Excellent! Well, this was found under several enchantments in a one Carlyle Gorky's room. Yes, it seems Mr. Gorkey was the one behind the first poisoning." Remus felt stunned thinking back to the confusing conversation he had heard between Carlyle and Professor Blatvnik.

"Yes, I agree quite confusing if you don't have the whole story. You see Carlyle was ...persuaded over winter break to join Voldermort and due to a personal situation, a talented kind student became bitter and led astray. Even his uncle was at a loss at how to help him. When he found out, what he assumed to be the sole cause of why his nephew was serving dark forces, well Professor Blatvnik went astray himself, helped along nicely by already grown prejudices." Remus gaped slightly trying to understand what this all meant.

"Ah forgive me I forget it's not common knowledge." Dumbledore continued on with a smile.

"You see Professor Blatvnik is Carlye's mother's older brother. He has always been very protective of Carlyle and the only reason he took the position was to see his nephew graduate into a wonderful wizard." Dumbledore let out a heavy sigh sadness reflected in his eyes.

"Alas, it is never that simple. Deeds that started off as good can become sinister if given the right motivation. You see over Christmas break Carlyle went camping by himself, a show of independence I believe. But, he was bitten." Remus felt himself go cold and panicked consumed him.

"Calm down Mr. Lupin. It wasn't Greyback. Do I need to get Poppy?" Remus shook his head forcing himself to calm down if only so he could finish hearing the whole story.

"It didn't take long for Professor Blatvnik to get the truth out of his nephew. It's come to my attention that you heard a rather unfortunate exchange between the two. Before knowing what his nephew had become Professor Blatvnik was faced with quite the dilemma. He knew his nephew had poisoned the first student, a one Miss Janice. Carlyle was told that only Voldemort would accept his kind and...he did what he knew would make him one of the 'protected'. While other students who also have been persuaded to join Voldermort's side were too concerned with being expelled to do what he wanted done. Mr. Gorky believed it was only a matter of time before he was expelled." Dumbledore gave a small smile.

"I believe like another certain student first thought when he came here." Remus felt himself grow red, but Dumbledore merely smiled good-naturedly at him before pressing on.

"When Professor Blatvnik found out he was forced to either protect his nephew or turn him in and watch him be expelled. Convinced he could get through to his nephew he didn't turn him in. Then after a month in which his nephew hid in the forbidden forest during the full moon, he followed Carlyle and discovered the other part of the story." Remus was beginning to understand and felt sick remembering the small space he had recognized as a room to keep a werewolf in.

"He…..enchanted his office…." He spoke slowly and carefully, not wanting to bite his tongue.

"Quite right. However, a strained relationship became even more so. An uncle who adored his nephew began to convince himself it wasn't really his nephew. He had ...a very misguided notion that once someone was bitten they stopped being a person at all. It was easier for him to believe his nephew was gone than to believe that he was on Voldemort's side. That his nephew was hurting students and even physically attacking his own uncle." Remus recalled the slap and how broken their Professor had sounded afterward, how defeated. Professor Blatvnik didn't know what his nephew was at that point, he was confused, and as Remus felt a bit bad for the man he realized with a jolt that it was his Professor that had gotten hit, not the other way around.

Remus recalled the angry young man and the way he had smiled at mentioning his uncle, at attempting to frame him for something he had done, and shuddered.

"The...other poisonings…." Dumbledore looked sad and sighed heavily again.

"Professor Blatvnik began to…..unravel from the stress of it all. There was a time he liked teaching but he began to see all his students as potential enemies, as possible monsters." Remus shuddered again.

"And there was me…." He stammered and was confirmed as Dumbeldore gave him a sad sharp look.

"There was a dedicated student with lycanthropy in one of his classes, yes but that doesn't excuse any of his behavior Mr. Lupin." Remus nodded as if he didn't believe Professor Blatvnik didn't have a point in attacking him. Dumbledore continued eyeing him sharply for a moment then continued.

"He started trying to poison his nephew, or who he no longer felt was his nephew, with the same poison he first used. Only there was a failed attempt which made Carlyle very angry. They both backed off one another for a while except for at the full moon. Then Carylye started bragging to his uncle about how pleased Voldemort was and how he'd be helping him this summer. So Professor Blatvnik tried again this time poisoning who he intended." Remus nodded again looking at the spot where his Professor had crumpled.

"Then he went after me."

"Yes, his guilt at attacking his nephew manifested itself into sheer hate. There is nothing more dangerous than a man devoid of hope, whether truly hopeless or only perceived as such. Knowing it was only a matter of time until he was fired, especially once I discovered Carlyle had lycanthropy he became reckless. He went after you attempting to prove something to himself." Dumbledore gave a sad little smile.

"I believe the fact you got top marks in that class was simply too much for him to handle." Remus would have apologized for this, despite how ridiculous apologizing for top marks seemed to be. But Dumbledore sounded amused and winked at him sounding quite proud of this fact so he kept his mouth shut.

"Now I suppose you are wondering what has happened since? Well, Professor Blatvnik has been quietly fired. Having been finished with his classes anyways no student will know the truth. Well, all but you and Carlyle. As for Mr. Gorky, he has been expelled and it has been announced that he was behind all the poisonings and had accidentally poisoned himself in the end. I believe you are now caught up." Remus gestured to the bottle in Dumbledore's hand who followed his gaze and smiled.

"Evidence to be sent to the Ministry of Magic. I must leave soon to explain the version that doesn't reveal anyone with lycanthropy has been to my school." Remus suddenly felt stupid realizing he had nearly forgotten about a very important and dangerous detail.

"Blatvnik?" He asked fearfully.

"His memories have been erased. It appears he had a rather unfortunate accident himself during one of his classes with the older students. He will remember dropping out of the school halfway through the year and as he has taken the suggestion to return to Russia I suspect he will never be the wiser." Dumbledore said pleasantly though he was now looking at the bottle, not Remus. This reminded him of another question he wanted to ask, he just wasn't sure he could.

"Now I must head off soon. Any other questions?" It was now or never Remus realized.

"You ...aren't mad at me?" He asked hoping Professor Dumbledore knew what he meant, as he always seemed to without needing much clarification. This time was no different and the headmaster stared at the bottle a moment longer before looking back at Remus with a smile.

"Well as I have mentioned before, my duties as Headmaster can keep me from more important things. Missing the attack on the Gryffindor students was certainly one of those days. I wasn't meeting the eyes of all the students I felt particularly close to and that includes you. I apologize if I gave you the wrong impression Remus but I was not mad at you. I have been nothing but impressed if not at times concerned with your welfare all year. You are an exceptional student who should be focusing on acing his last two exams."

"Two?"

"Oh, Three that's right. Professor Sprout has kindly agreed to let you make up the exam along with Professor Slughorn and Professor McGonnal. They were all most agreeable." Remus felt a stab of panic he was only supposed to miss Professor Slughorn's exam which was the Monday after the full moon. How many days had it been? Dumbledore must have noticed the panic for he clarified.

"No one minds. You have been out for a number of days and while your friends are concerned I believe they are quite worried but are under the impression your mother is very close to dying. While it is up to you what you tell them I ask that you don't say anything about what we have discussed. I don't want to add another secret for you to keep from your friends but I'm afraid I must as the safety of this school rests on it. Currently, the situation is controlled but should anyone else find out, I believe, especially with the current state of things, Hogwarts would be under the control of the ministry. And that Mr. Lupin would be a bad thing indeed."

"I understand."

"Good I had no doubt you would. Now do not worry about inconveniencing your Professors as I assure you it is their job. You just study and let them know before the 29th when you are ready to take them." Remus nodded feeling tired and heavy.

"Madam Pomfrey has agreed to release you when you feel ready under a few strict restrictions she has for you, among which is not running or walking too fast." He chuckled then got to his feet looking at his wrist which didn't have a watch on it.

As Dumbledore was about to leave he stopped quite suddenly and turned to Remus with a smile.

"Oh, and once you are done with your exams do try to have some fun, Remus." He had the feeling Dumbledore knew exactly what type of fun he and his friends were likely to get up to and he had to stop himself from looking guilty. But if anything Dumbledore seemed amused he winked at Remus and then was walking out of the door with a smile and a twinkle in his eye.

Remus watched him go wanting to go back to the dorms now feeling dread at yet again how much of school he'd missed but before he could call Madam Pomfrey he was sinking into sleep again.

…..

After about another day he found himself fully healed, his tongue no longer swollen. He had spent all his waking time studying, with the help of Madam Pomfrey who somehow obtained copies of his textbooks, once he pleaded with her not to send someone to fetch his as then his friends would know he was here.

"Madam Pomfrey am I ready to be cleared?" He asked patiently for the fifth time. She looked up from quizzing him on the rules of Transfiguration and looked him over clearly wanting nothing more than to say 'no'.

"Yes, I suppose Remus but goodness, if you are going to in the middle of so much danger next year you best just make yourself at home because I will be keeping you even longer if this persists." She scolded absentmindedly as she straightened the sheets on his bed. He sat straighter in the chair he was in and blushed.

"I'm sorry."

"Hm? Oh no dear this isn't your fault. You didn't ask to be attacked multiple times did you?" She eyed him sharply as if realizing he may be a bit at fault but her gaze softened as he quickly and sincerely shook his head no.

"Then just be careful to keep your head down better next year. Though I suppose next year I'll have your friends in here more often." She sighed looking weary at the very thought.

"Why?" He asked feeling a stab of panic. It's not like they would take turns being attacked all year by professors and Slytherins, at least he certainly hoped not. Next year would be boring and uneventful if he had any say in the matter. Madam Pomfrey looked startled then laughed.

"Why Quidditch of course. If that Black and Potter boy aren't in here at least once a month themselves at the beginning of next year then it will only be a matter of time before those reckless boys are." She seemed to realize her comment was distressing him, and it took her a second but she realized why.

"Not that they will interfere with anything. Next year will go even smoother than this one. I won't take any nonsense and when those two are in here you better believe I will be watching them like a hawk." Remus had to admit he felt a bit better at that, he even almost smiled picturing James and Sirius trying to come up with some distraction, no doubt involving Peter, in order to get past Madam Pomfrey to see him.

He was about to tell Madam Pomfrey she'd do well to expect them here with various Quidditch related injuries more than every month, with how recklessly those two flew, when the Matron straightened to the sound of the Hospital Ward's doors opening and bustled out with a loud "coming."

Remus relaxed into his chair once more and picked up his Transfiguration textbook trying to better understand the Switching Spell when his door opened. He looked up a smile on his face about to question once more, very respectfully if he could please leave. He had several books he wanted to look up further information about the Fire-Making Spell before his exams Then, of course, he had to talk to the Professors to schedule them. But all thoughts about exams fading as quickly as did the smile on his face.

"D…..dad?" He spluttered surprised jumping to his feet feeling shocked, and a bit fearful. Was his father here to take him away from Hogwarts forever? Was he that mad at him?

"I will leave you two alone Mr. Lupin." Professor McGonagall said her voice sounding tighter than usual. He hoped it wasn't because of the Transfiguration textbook that had fallen to the ground in his haste. But he couldn't make himself look away from his father's face to get it and then his head of house was closing the door, leaving him alone with his father.

"How are you?" Remus jumped at his father speaking softly, sure he was going to be yelled at. Instead, his father sounded unusually meek and concerned.

"G ...Good." He choked out forcing back the tears. His father had lost a lot of weight and his hair was thinning in places. He looked pale and had dark bags under his eyes. A long silence stretched between the two Lupins neither daring to move. Remus took short steady breaths trying to stay calm. He wanted to yell at his dad, to demand answers to the many questions swimming around his head. But at that moment he was just so glad he came. Because he realized finally that his dad was here, not to yell at him but to check on him.

"Dad I…" He began just as his father started saying "Remus I..." Another silence stretched.

"You first." His father gestured toward him and frowned as Remus jumped again.

"I'm glad you're here."

"Are you?" The question honestly surprised him almost as much as the strained sad grimace on his father's face.

"What?" He asked wondering if this was some sort of trick. Had his uncle said something to his father that convinced him to play mind games too. Remus felt dizzy from the vast confusion sweeping over him. He wobbled slightly and flinched as his father made a move to rush over. Lyall Lupin froze and unmistakable anger washed over his face.

"I'm sorry." Remus squeaked brought back to months of his father drunk and screaming, of him pushing him out of the way or even hitting him aside if he did something wrong.

"No. No not ...I'm not mad at you." Remus watched his father unsure. He certainly felt like he was missing something like this was a chess game and for once he was going to lose.

"You ...aren't?"

"Remus I ...your uncle went too far. I never should have left you in his care." His dad explained in a tone as if this cleared everything up.

"You didn't know. I shouldn't have pushed him."

"No that's no excuse for him to raise his hand against a child." Remus almost, almost pointed out his father had done the same, if with different provocation. Then he realized his father didn't smell of any alcohol, neither fresh like he'd just been drinking nor even a musty old smell.

"You're sober." He said instead surprised by this and trying to remember the last time his father had been. Certainly not since it was clear Hope Lupin would eventually die. That had been about a month in of his mother getting sick. Remus still remembered the first time his father came home drunk and his mother had yelled at him, angrier than he had ever seen her.

"I drank too much and ended up in muggle jail…..that's why I couldn't be with you over the break." His father sounded upset again, but it was more like he was ashamed. Remus was struggling with the emotions storming inside him. Finally, relief won out, relief that his father would have had him over break, relief that he didn't think Remus a burden, at least not at the moment.

Tears filled his eyes and he quickly blinked them away but he knew his father had noticed.

"We…..I shouldn't stay long. I've been told you have exams to study for."

"Will…... I be coming home for the summer?" He asked hesitantly, unsure if he even had the right to assume he would be anymore.

"Yes of course." His father sounded surprised. "Remus I explained why you were with your uncle and you can be assured that won't happen again. I've talked to my brother and he won't hurt you again."

Remus highly doubted that but at the moment he didn't care instead his heart soared with happiness. He'd be going home, not to his terrible uncles but home to his bedroom and book collections and favorite tree to climb up and read in. To ...making his father meals, cleaning up his messes, and worrying if he'd even come home.

"Are you….." He didn't know how to ask and he felt his cheeks go red. Are you done drinking? Are you done blaming me for Mom's death? Do you look at me as your son or as a monster? How long is this going to last? His happiness was dampened as he realized after the next full moon his father would go back to seeing the monster over the boy. It was simply after a year apart his father had forgotten. He was certain of this and a few tears he couldn't suppress ran down his cheeks.

"Am I what Remus?" Lyall Lupin was never a man good with emotions, and even less so with dealing with other emotions. It had always been Remus' mother who knew how to handle his crying. He tried hard to stop the tears wiping his eyes knowing they weren't going to stop falling anytime soon.

"Are you eating enough?" He asked instead ducking his head since he couldn't stop the flow of water running down his flushed cheeks.

"Yes ...well for the most part. I...miss your cooking. Maybe...we can cook together sometime?" Remus nodded wanting more than ever for his dad to leave, as much as he also desperately wanted him to stay.

"Well, we will talk more when you come home. I just had to see you...you were ok. It seems you had an eventful year." There was a strong tone of frustration as he continued. "I expect to hear about how all this happened later. I think for next year you and I need to go over some ground rules...again!" Remus just nodded not trusting himself to speak.

"Agreed...well alright then…" His father sounded more awkward still and there was a silence in which Remus almost looked up and would have been unsurprised if his father had just left.

"I wish you luck with your exams. You…..seem to have gotten good grades this year. Good job." It sounded like the words pained his father and Remus nodded again. He was told a curt goodbye from his dad who seemed far too hasty to leave. As soon as he did Remus collapsed into his chair and sobbed into his arms.

He was vaguely aware of someone trying to talk to him and he flinched as a hand touched his shoulder. It wasn't Madam Pomfrey and for one terrible second, he thought his father had returned to rebuke him for crying.

"Mr. Lupin I apologize. I wouldn't have left you alone if I knew your father was going to upset you so." Professor McGonagall sounded a great deal more gentle than he ever heard her sound in class. He was surprised to hear a great deal of concern in her voice. He wondered how much she knew about all of this as he forced himself to calm down.

She kept a consoling hand on his shoulder not seeming to know why his dad visiting had upset him but assuring him he was gone now. She didn't ask if he wanted to talk about it and though she seemed a bit awkward herself he found she was in no ways inept at calming someone, at least at calming him down. She didn't have a motherly way about her, but her continued calm and rational points on his father now being gone and her examples of a great many mistakes parents were likely to make with their children actually got him to smile.

He finally looked up at his usually stern Professor and it seemed she was fighting a small smile herself at the rather embarrassing story she was telling him about one of her past students.

"Oh yes, Mr. Lupin quite so. I dare say the woman was more mortified than her son. But it all worked out in the end though I believe a consensus was reached not to speak of it again."

"Sorry for crying." Her smile slipped into a frown that he somehow got the feeling wasn't directed at him before her neutral somewhat stern look was back.

"Now none of that Mr. Lupin. I assure you as Head of House I have had more than one Gryffindor bawl their eyes out to me and I confess over a great deal less than family matters. While I admit it is not the fondest part of my job it is still one I take seriously. You can come to me with any problems you may have. Now Mr. Lupin." Her smile grew and she held up the textbook he had dropped.

"As it so happens I have some time and I would not be opposed to helping you with some techniques before your exam if that's alright with you?" Remus blinked a few times then grinned broadly.

"Thank you Professor McGonnagal." He said sincerely after all someone would have to be a fool to pass up her instruction, and even though he was tired he was relieved as she flipped to page 157 and began explaining in wonderfully helpful detail the transformation formula.