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Challenges listed at the bottom.

Word Count: 828

Dating Disaster

At least he's cute.

His wings fluttered behind him, agitated with nerves as he tried to follow the recipe. It really shouldn't be difficult, should it? He was a genius, he could cook a meal for his friend—that he really, really wanted to date and cook for all the time—without any problems, right?

"JARVIS, why doesn't this look right?" Tony asked, frowning at the mess in the pan.

"I believe you have the heat too high, Sir," JARVIS replied, sounding amused, because of course he was amused, the little shit.

"Right. Right, I can fix that. Right?"

"Turn the heat down, Sir," JARVIS replied, and yeah, Tony was donating him to McDonalds first thing in the morning.

"Tony?"

Tony turned around to see Nat walking into the kitchen, her purple and blue swirled wings steady and still behind her, so long they almost touched the top of the fridge.

"Hey," he said. "I thought the tower was going to be empty tonight."

"I'm just heading out," she assured him. "Just thought I'd come and check on you before I leave."

"Oh. Uh. Thanks? I'm fine. Mostly."

"Yeah?"

Tony nodded frantically, and he didn't even want to know what his wings were doing behind him, because he had zero control over them and they betrayed him constantly.

"Tony?"

"Hmm?"

"The kitchen is on fire."

Tony spun around to see that the kitchen was, in fact, on fire.

"Fuck, shit, fucking fuck," he muttered, even as he grabbed the fire hydrant that Steve had insisted they keep in the kitchen for… well, probably for when Tony decided that he could be a functional human and attempt to cook things.

White foam covered everything, and to make things worse, Sam appeared just as Tony was done making sure the fire was out.

"Uh. Do I want to know?"

"Tony was trying to cook," Nat said, and when Tony glared at her, she chuckled. "And I'm out."

She stepped closer and pressed a kiss to Tony's cheek. "You're cute. Just tell him how you feel. I promise, it'll go well."

Tony watched her sashay out with a wide grin at Sam.

Sam looked back at Tony. "Am I the only one that gets terrified when she smiles at me like that.

Tony shook his head. "Nope. She's terrifying all the time."

"She likes you, you're hers," Sam said, shrugging. "You're safe from her wrath."

"I'm not hers," Tony protested, eyes wide.

"I don't mean like… hers. I mean, she's claimed you as one of her people, which means that she'll snap people's necks with her thighs for you."

"Oh." Tony thought for a moment and then nodded. "Okay, I like that, that's fine."

Laughing, Sam glanced at the white foam covering the kitchen. His wings were fluttering behind him, the muted green pattern catching the light in the prettiest of ways. "So, what were you cooking? I thought we'd just get a takeaway, since we're the only one's in tonight. Or," he suddenly looked awkward. "Were you planning a date with someone? Am I gatecrashing?"

"Uh."

Tony felt his wings shift, and he watched Sam frown.

"Tony? What's wrong?"

"Well. I uh. I was trying to cook for you. For, um. Us. For a date, you know? Pep said that's what people do, cook for people they like, so I thought, but obviously it didn't go well, and uh, oops?"

Sam stared at him for a long moment, and then he grinned. "You were trying to date me, Tones?"

Tony nodded, and swallowed hard. "Yes. Yes I was. But now—"

"Now, we'll phone for a Thai, and we'll watch a movie and snuggle on the sofa, and you'll fall asleep laid all over me," Sam said, nodding his head decisively.

Oh. Tony felt his heart sink. That was what they normally did when it was just the two of them in the tower. Not that he was complaining, he loved spending time with Sam, but he was kinda hoping that their friendship could change into something… a little bit more than friendship.

A hand cupping his cheek made him jump, and he looked up to see Sam standing much closer than he was just a few seconds ago.

"And afterwards, I'll kiss you goodnight, and tomorrow, we can go out to dinner. How does that sound?"

"Um. Like a date?"

Sam nodded. "Like a date."

"I'd really like that."

"Me too," Sam agreed.

A clatter behind them made Tony jump and Sam laugh, and Tony turned to see that his wings, which had dropped when he thought Sam was friend-zoning him, had perked right up.

And knocked a pan off the side.

And a coffee mug.

And were now covered in white foam.

He blushed fiercely. "Oops?"

…

Sam helped Tony clean up and they did everything he planned. Tony was especially a fan of the kiss. And the date the following day. And the one two days after that and… well.

Tony was a fan.

Written for:

Mini golf: hole 13. Wings!au

Murder mystery: how: their bare hands: romance

Geek pride: the sims: write about accidentally starting a fire while cooking

Game of life: change (theme)