Chapter Thirteen

The wicker coffin sat at the end of the church draped in the union flag. Ana stared at it, her heart hammering inside her chest. This was the first funeral to be taking place after the Islington Bombings and it happened to be the funeral of John Flynn. Sitting beside Christian his hand in her own, Ana shook softly on the cold wooden bench, her shoulders drooping, and her spine arched. Her face was puffy and red, obvious beneath the make up she had worn to try and make herself look presentable. Christian knew she wanted to be anywhere other than here, having to say goodbye to a dear friend.

The atmosphere was heavy. Hundreds of mourners filled the church while speakers had been placed outside for the hundreds who had made the journey to pay their respects to a well-loved politician. Soft sobs echoed from every corner of the Church, people grieving openly and honestly. It was raw.

As the Vicar spoke of courage and bravery, Ana's mind was on the memories she had shared with John. Two years he'd been by her side, guiding and teaching her. They'd shared some highs and lows over those two years too. Ana looked at the back of Rhian's head, she was sobbing uncontrollably, and Ana wished she could do something to take away the woman's pain and bring John back.

She wiped at her tears, unashamedly she was allowing them to fall today. There was no reason to hide them, no one would judge her. Not that they had been anyway, not negatively. It had been a whole two weeks since the bombs had gone off and she still had love and support from the public. In her sorrow, she felt so blessed too.

They stood and sang 'All things bright and beautiful' and then Emma Phillips stood to say a piece. She along with Ana had been asked to talk at the funeral. Ana had almost turned Rhian down but seeing the grief on the woman's face she knew she couldn't say no. Her hand shook as she wiped her forehead, she knew her moment was coming, and she wasn't sure she had the strength to do it.

Shakily, she stood. Her heart hammering in her chest echoing in her ears drowning out the noise of the congregation. This was something she didn't want to have to do, something she didn't want to have to face. Would this make it real?

She hadn't been in her wheelchair now for a few days, but her feet were still incredibly sore. There just wasn't the same risk that the wounds would open now as there had been. Christian released her hand as she stepped out of the pew. He swallowed hard, he wasn't sure if she could do this either. Her walk was slow and shaky, every step taking an effort. Taking to the podium on the left-hand side of the Coffin she looked out at the congregation then back to the coffin.

"John Flynn was an incredible man." She started as she unwrapped the piece of paper she'd written her piece on, though she didn't think she'd need it as she'd been going over it so much it was practically memorised. "When he took me under his wing when I joined the Labour Party I didn't quite realise that I was getting a second father figure in my life… Dad jokes included." A small chuckle rippled through the congregation which helped Ana relax. "He was so passionate about everything he did. He was a passionate husband to Rhian and a passionate father the boys, he was a passionate member of parliament and he was a passionate friend. If John liked you and cared about you, he cared about you hard and you knew you meant something to him." Ana smiled sadly as she remembered the good times with John, he'd really taken her in and taken care of her, she'd cherish those memories forever.

"At conference at the start of September, I think it's safe to say he won the award for the funniest speech, as he did every year. It was eye wateringly funny and it wasn't that he was making light of the social problems our society faced, oh no, quite the opposite. John could make you think, he could open your eyes and really make you think about things while making you laugh. It was an incredible trait. Though, he was a bit of a troublemaker too." Ana smiled softly as she recalled some of her more favourite moments. "In particular when it came to calling out the Government and the result often leading to him getting kicked out of the Commons Chamber. My favourite had to be when he referred to the Prime Minister as Egotistical and there was no way he was going to withdraw even though he was given ample opportunity to do so. But he didn't call people names for the sake of it, he always did it in order to draw attention to the point he was making, knowing it would be mass-shared but buried in there was always a fight for justice for the working-man and woman. I think we can all say he did a great job at fighting for the little people and I hope we can continue his work, in honour of his legacy. I will miss you John, as will so many others here. Thank you for opening my eyes, my heart and most importantly my mind to the injustices of the world and for giving me faith that with hard work and dedication there are solutions to the problems we face. Rest in peace, my friend and mentor. Thank you." As she walked from the podium Rhian stood to meet her. They shared a warm embrace, Rhian silently thanking Ana for her words and Ana apologising for Rhian's loss. She couldn't imagine what Rhian was going through, to lose John as a friend was hard enough, she couldn't imagine if it had been Christian.

Christian took her hand in his own once again when she sat. He gave it a gentle and reassuring squeeze and he gave her a tense smile when her eyes met his. They looked so sad and he knew nothing he could do would take away the pain she was feeling. It broke his heart to see her so lost. Truth was, he didn't know how well he was being an emotional support to her, though he was trying his best. He'd never had to be an emotional crutch for anyone the way he was having to be for Ana right now. They'd had their tough times over the last couple of years, but nothing anywhere near this scale. Though Ana seemed to be taking so much of it in her stride, showing a confident front more often than not.

When the service came to a close, everyone stood for the Labour Anthem 'Red Flag' it would have been exactly what he would have wanted and they knew the same anthem would be played at Douglas' funeral too. Ana and Christian had been invited to the graveside, where only family and selected few were to attend but Ana had made her apologies instead. Her feet were burning, and she just needed to sit down, she felt bad for letting down Rhian but hoped that in her grief she wouldn't notice that she wasn't present. Instead, they made their way to The Tavern where the wake was taking place.

They had made the right choice, it was already busy and after fighting their way through the press Ana found them some seats while Christian went to the bar to fetch them some well-needed drinks.

"Your speech was lovely Ana." Emma smiled sadly as Ana slid into the booth that some of the Labour MP's were sitting at.

"Yours too Emma." Ana replied politely, though the truth was she didn't know what Emma's speech had been about because she'd barely been able to listen as had spent the entire funeral remembering happier times with John.

"You meant the world to him you know." Emma said softly. Ana gave her a tense smile. Emma was a lovely lady, older and she came from a better background than Ana which was unusual in the party. They got on well because of their backgrounds, and Ana knew Emma was just as passionate as she was about getting social equality for all.

"He meant the world to me too." Ana sighed as Christian returned with a glass of wine each for them. "Thanks."

"I know this may be really inappropriate. But do you have any idea what's going to happen now?" Timothy Jones the Shadow Health Secretary asked, his eyes glancing around as though ensuring no one was listening in to their conversation.

"What do you mean?" Ana frowned, not sure she understood where he was going.

"Well…" He bit his lip as he tried to find the right words to say. "With by-elections and a leadership election."

"Jesus let them be cold first." Emma replied the same words Ana was thinking.

"The NEC will have been working on it on the DL the moment they had confirmation of the deaths." Rebecca Jones another MP for Labour said quietly. "You know they'll be ready when the right time comes."

"Are you going to go forward for leader Emma?" Timothy asked earning himself a scowl from the deputy.

"No." She said pointedly. "Ana here gets my vote."

"What?" Ana gasped. "No, I'm not going for it."

"No one goes for Labour leader." Rebecca scoffed. "You get nominated, nominations then you can accept the candidacy."

"No one better put me forward." Ana muttered. "Now can we drop it please, we haven't even buried Doug yet." She didn't want to think about anyone replacing him, he wasn't even cold. His funeral was in a week's time and after that, it might have been appropriate to start thinking about who was going to replace him but until that point it was inappropriate.

"They're still protesting outside Downing Street." Timothy said, agreeing with Ana that it was better to change the subject now.

"It's getting busier by the day." Christian said, he felt at home with Ana's Labour friends, unlike the Conservatives, they went out of the way to make him feel comfortable with them.

"I noticed." Emma smiled tensely. "Best thing she can do now is quit, she's truly made a mess of this."

"She won't go unless she's forced." Ana replied, she'd worked under Elena Lincoln and knew exactly what type of woman she was, there was no way she would ever accept she'd done anything wrong.

"Did you notice they hadn't sent anyone from the Government today?" Rebecca whispered, she was aware of more of the funeral-goers arriving and didn't want to be overheard.

"I did." Christian said while Ana shook her head, she hadn't been paying that much attention.

"Well I'm just hoping someone turns up to Doug's funeral, otherwise PMQ's after the funeral I'm going to ask for her to resign. Call her out on it publicly. He's the Leader of Her Majesty's Opposition which means a member of the Royal Family will be there, the least she could do is turn up or send someone from the Government." Emma said before downing her pint, damn she needed that drink, the conversation was heavy, and it had been an extremely tough couple of weeks.

"Did you go to the memorial gathering yesterday?" Rachel asked looking at Ana and Christian, there had been a public gathering in Paradise Park where prayers had been said and speakers had spoken about the tragedy.

"No." Ana replied. "I know they're working on a big memorial for in a few months' time though so I'm planning on going to that." Ana sighed, she knew there would be no escaping this tragedy for a long time coming, even though a part of her wanted to follow in the Government's footsteps and bury her head in the sand. She'd never be able to do that though, this would forever be in her head.

After spending a good hour at the wake making small talk with those in attendance Ana and Christian made their excuses. Ana's feet were hurting quite bad and she wanted to go home, take her pain killers and sleep. The coming weeks were going to continue to be an emotional rollercoaster and she needed to rest as much as possible.

She had decided that for the time being she would stay away from Westminster though. Trying to cope and come to terms with what had happened was hard enough without having to deal with a Government who was denying the attacks had even happened.

"Oh Ana, while I remember. I don't know if you heard but they've made arrests." Taylor said as they made their way up the rhododendron driveway towards the house.

"They have?" Ana asked, she was surprised because other than appealing for information on the seven suspects from poor CCTV images there hadn't been much talk about who was involved.

"Three individuals from Sheffield." He replied. "They're not saying much more than the fact the arrests have been made though."

"Thanks Taylor." Ana said quietly, she wasn't sure if it was good news yet because they didn't know who these individuals were and if they were, in fact, a part of the events of September 26.

Once in the house, Ana went straight upstairs to get changed out of her formal funeral attire. Christian joined her in the bedroom, also needing to get changed. Ana sat uncomfortably at the end of the bed in just her underwear, looking upset.

"What is it Ana?" Christian asked coming to stand in front of her as he removed her tie.

"I just want to forget all this." Ana said quietly. "For a little while." Christian's head cocked to one side, unsure where this was going. "Make love to me Christian." Ana whispered, her eyes sinking shut.

"What?"

"It's been two weeks since you touched me." Ana explained quietly. "I just want to disappear with you for a bit."

Christian knelt in front of her, his hand going to her cheek. She looked desperate at him, her eyes silently begging him to touch her and not reject her.

"Of course I can if that's what you want." Christian said quietly. Ana smiled and nodded, not her usual bright smile but one that confirmed it was exactly what she wanted.

He stood up and immediately started to kiss her. His kisses were soft and gentle while her arms went around his neck, hungry for him. He didn't want to rush it though, she may have changed her mind and he wanted to know the moment she did so he could stop.

But she didn't have any plans on stopping. As Christian's lips continued to litter her own with sweet kisses, her fingers went to his crisp white shirt and desperately started to claw at the buttons. She wanted to disappear with him, escape the pain and heartache of the last two weeks and be at one with the man she loved.

Christian fought against her desperation, taking his time with her. It had been two incredibly long and difficult weeks, but Ana needed to remember she was still injured and that if they went too hard or too fast she could hurt herself. His job was to be in control and while he allowed Ana to work on his shirt as desperately as she wanted to, he would take his time with her in pleasing her and worshipping every inch of her like she deserved to be worshipped.