They rarely get so be around each other without the presence of others. So he made it a habit of observing her. The way she smiles when she's lost in one of her books. The way she walks avoiding the gazes of others. Silent, reserved. Shy? He knows she isn't. The way she eats chocolate. Putting a piece in her mouth, letting it melt, rolling her tongue over it. Completely oblivious to the world around her, eyes glued to the book. Slowly lifting her finger and licking of the remainder of the chocolate before flipping the page. He feels his face grow hot. She seems to notice him looking at her. Her look is questioning. Innocent.
"Is something wrong?"
"No." He shakes his head, goes back to work.
Those nights spent working in offices or the lounge when they could be alone were something both looked forward to.
He had heard the rumors, at this point everyone did. The quiet, reserved girl that turned into a sadistic monster when the testing room doors were shut. William had heard it from his wife, Annette, who was apparently on the same secret project as Alex. He knew there were new projects. He had not been told the details yet. Everyone had been working on something personal. What he didn't know was that she was part of it. That certainly explained why she was around so rarely. The testing location was somewhere in the city. It almost made him laugh hearing it. How wonderfully cruel she could be. He wished he could see it.
She is aware of it. The way they look at her when she walks past. The whispers behind her back. Her cruel little pleasure had not gone unnoticed. But it doesn't matter. Not really. She has found her footing after so many failures. Her own project, a clever little thing to excuse all the cruelty, a virus that spreads based on fear. The more they fear the faster it will consume them and spread. So, she has to be cruel, is what she says. It's the only way to know if it will work. A justification. An excuse. It's not like she really wants to be, she says. A lie. But in the end even she begins to believe it. That it's justified. That it's the only way. She is in the right.
Not every test is a success. Not all results are what she hoped them to be but she doesn't care. She knows she is on the path of proving herself, getting close to what she wants to know. But things were never made to be this easy. She should have expected it. Of course she would the only one given a partner. She should have expected the old man to find a way to rob her of the enjoyment she got.
His name was Daniel. And he stayed at her side thought the nights of testing. She hated him. He didn't seem to pick up on it. Having someone observe her while she was testing, it was unusual. She had to keep herself in check. And the constant attempts at flirting. She wished she could throw him the pit with the test subjects and the zombies and tear him to shreds herself. But instead she smiled, and answered politely, explaining her research and the process.
Spencer had her enrolled into some school. Time to get a doctorate, he said. She supposed it was a sign that she proving her worth. Or perhaps because she was the only one without one. Aside from Daniel, who was a lowly thug. He did have intelligence, but not like the rest of them. Unfortunately it mean even less sleep for her. And more time with Daniel, who despite her insisting she was fine, decided to drive her everywhere. Perhaps he was ordered. Yet, he acted as if was of his own will.
"Still, what is strange." He said in the annoying French accent. "How everyone calls you Alex."
He had been pestering her for the majority of the ride.
"That is my name. What else should they call me?" she isn't looking at him.
"You know what I mean."
They stop at the university. She hurries to get out.
"Oh, and Lord Spencer told me to take over testing for you. Since you will be busy with your studies."
Alex felt her blood boil in rage. This man taking over her research felt like a slap to the face.
"Fine" she groaned" You will the data and reports to me. I will check them and hand them in myself." She said shutting the car door.
"Oui, doctor" he says before taking off.
Was Spencer that desperate to sabotage her? To deny her the truth. She supposed she could always try to hack her way into the secret files and learn it that way. But what would happen then? Would he kill her? Experiment on her? In any case her life would be over. She was certain of it. And she was determined to keep on living.
Class. Her work for intelligence. The work on her own project, as often as she can be present herself and do the testing. Weeks all blur together. It is exhausting. It first she is determined not let Daniel interfere. It's taking a toll on her. Two hours of sleep. Not even worth the hour trip home. But at least she can spend some time with him. Albert. She knows he is doing work for Spencer, secret work he can't talk about. There are so many thing they can't talk about. But they don't need to. Somehow just being close is enough. He is the same as her. He might not have the memories of the orphanage, but was there somewhere in the crowd of boys. It's enough. When she wakes up in the lounge, book in her lap, seeing him there. She feels embarrassed. Then she feels the blanket move as she straightens herself. He gives her a half smile. She smiles back.
The rain pours without stopping. He prepares to leave for the day. There is a figure standing in the lobby. Arms crossed on her chest. Eyes gazing the rivers pouring down the window. He approaches. She turns.
"Albert" she smiles.
"Alex" he returns the smile. "Here for another night of work?"
"Actually I'm going home for a change. If my ride ever gets here. He's an hour late." She sighs.
"I could give you a ride." He says.
"If it's not too much trouble."
"None at all. If I recall, my place is closer. Why not spend the night?"
She seems to be thinking about the suggestion.
"Well. It would be convenient. If you really don't mind."
" I don't."
She is aware of the hidden intentions. A part of her didn't expect that from him. A part of her feels disappointed. In the end he is just like all other men. But she can't hold that against him.
He opens the door for her. She gets in. the car is new. Black. Sleek. Smells like leather inside. She says nothing. Listens to the slow jazz on the radio. It is a pleasant thing. Rides with Daniel were rarely quiet. They park in the underground garage. He opens the door for her again. They take the elevator.
"If you don't mind me asking, who was your ride?"
"Fabron." She says it like it was a bad word.
He had heard the rumors about them. How they work together so much. How they more than just working together. This strange man that Spencer hired out of nowhere.
They enter the apartment. It is large. Modern. Open. The kitchen and the living room joined into one spacious room. She takes it in with appreciation.
"It's absolutely lovely." She says, without flattery and lies.
"Thank you."
He takes of his jacket. She keeps hers on. Steps out of the shoes onto the soft carper.
"Care to join me for a nightcap?" he takes a bottle of wine and two glasses from the shelf.
"I'd be glad to." She sits on the large black leather sofa.
It faces the large glass windows that overlook the city. He pours the wine. Sits down next to her. This the closest they have been since the dance.
"The view is gorgeous" she takes a sip.
"It gets old after a while" he says looking at the city lights.
His dark glasses reflect the lights.
"I can see how it would" she says.
"Does Fabron give you rides often?" he asks.
"As much as I wish he didn't, he does."
"Well then I' m going to have to teach him some manners."
She tries to suppress a laugh.
"You believe them, don't you?"
He looks at her puzzled.
"The rumors. There is nothing between me and him." she says.
"Alex..."
She puts a finger to his lips.
"Please. I know you didn't ask me to stay over just to talk."
She moves jacket down slowly, exposing her shoulders. He moves closer. Embracing her from behind. Planting kisses on her neck. Arms sliding up the silky material of her top. Stopping at her breasts. How soft they feel in his hands. She sighs. He kisses her shoulder. Hands moving the jacket lower until it off. She shivers in the cool air. Her back is exposed down to the middle by the top. Two dark long bruises mark it.
"Spencer did this." He says it as if stating a fact, but there is something else in his voice.
She laughs. The mere mention of him. and the thought of what they are about to do.
"The old man would have an aneurism if he saw us now. You know, he think of you as his son. I guess in a way that makes us siblings "there is a sinister smile on her lips.
She turns, returning his embrace. Pressing herself against him. She kisses him. She doesn't really care if he's good. For him she would pretend, and praise him, and say he was the best. She would let him use her. She knew she was supposed to be jealous of him, to hate him, want to surpass him. The old man made it clear who his favorite was. But it just so happened that he was also her favorite.
He returns her kiss. She moves her hands to undo his shirt. Fingers touching bare skin. She pushes him down on the leather of the sofa. Straddles him. Breaks away from the kiss. Snatches his glasses away. He looks surprised. Then he smiles. Pushes her down on her back. Lifts up her top. She is wearing nothing underneath. He kisses up her stomach to her breasts. Hand caressing her sides, moving up her back. Hot mouth enveloping her breast. Her hands move to his hair. He pulls away. Takes her in. Eyes closed, mouth open slightly. She opens one eye. Questioning why he stopped. He grins and moves to her other breast. She moans a little. Biting her lip.
His hands move to her hips. Undoing her pants. She moves to help him. He is somewhat surprised by how eager she is. She lays there before him in nothing but her black lacey underwear. Breath fast, eyes half closed, a sinful smile on her red lips. Her legs wrap around his waist, pulls him down on her. Hands caressing his chest, moving down to his hips, undoing the belt. He stops her. Pins her hands above her head.
"So eager." He chuckles.
Her face flushes a deeper shade of red.
"It's been a long time." she breathes, now a little more self-aware.
He touches her thought the fabric. She already quite wet. He believes her. Takes of his clothes. He takes off her under wear. She spreads her legs for him, shameless. He gets into position. Enters her. She wraps her legs around him. Sets the pace. Fast and hard, he matches her. She comes. He follows.
He was actually not bad. But she needed more. It was too short to be an escape. Too little to make her feel free. It did make that feeling she felt whenever he was around grow. That fondness for him that had since the party. But there was another feeling flowing restlessly inside her. The desire to cause pain, to shed blood, to release her frustrations with everything bad in her life onto someone. But not him. She could not do that to him. He was the only good thing in this cage of misery she had trapped herself in.
He kisses her again. She returns it with a passion even fiercer. Pushes herself up. Flips him on his back. He didn't see it coming.
"Round two." She says pulling from the kiss.
She isn't the quiet, shy girl she pretends to be. She isn't the cruel woman that people claim her to be either. He looks at her, studies her. She gets of him. Hands touching him. He is sensitive, each touch is sending waves of both pain and pleasure. But it passes soon. He smirks at her. She didn't seem to notice yet.
"You'll find that I don't tire easily, dear heart" he says.
She feels him grow fully hard again. Smiles a smile that is teeth and sinful desire. Descends on him. He holds her hips, adjusts so she is in his lap. He moves matching her. Mouth sucking on her small round breast. Another orgasm hits, more intense than the last. She cries out, unrestrained. Tears welling up in her eyes. The feeling of pleasant numbness settles in her bones. She rest her head on his shoulder. He puts his arms around her. A moment passes of blissful silence. The gnawing feelings returns albeit weaker this time.
"Ready to go again?" she whispers questioningly.
He burst into laughter. She looks at him puzzled. He picks her in his arms. Heads to the bedroom. Places her on the bed. It's different this time, gentle, almost loving. She falls asleep next to him.
Morning comes and she feels the light on her face but her don't want to open. It's warm. It smells nice. His scent. She hears somebody else move and the memories of last night surface. She is awake now. Face burning red. She turns her back to him. Suddenly afraid. She had never done this with someone who was close to her. Someone who would be around after. It was always someone who would be gone. Someone she didn't care for. Some poor boy she left broken and bruised and scared. Somebody who would never go near her again.
He gets up. She hears the shower running. He leaves the room. She gets out of bed, showers. Her clothes are on the bed, not where she left them last night. She dresses. Exits the room. He greets her with a cup of coffee and a smile, same one he always does. And she feels that this time she doesn't need to be afraid.