I'm hoping that this sudden burst of motivation keeps going until I reach the end of this fic but we all know I have some minor commitment issues. The good news is that I wrote the first two and a half chapters all basically in one sitting so I'm already a chapter ahead of myself. Just beware that the title of this fic might change if I think of something better, but again, not my strong point.

This is my first attempt at writing anything Bensler to post so as always I'm open to constructive criticism. My writing style has changed a little recently in that this story has a lot less dialogue than my normal, which I'm hoping is a good thing, I don't want it to come across as rambling and repetitive. There is a little chunk of smut early on in this chapter, not necessarily essential but if you want to skip it, it's the big chunk of italics :)

Thank you to at WriterKC1 on twitter for helping me with my inability to make a decision for myself, even if I did end up changing some things anyway.

I'm gonna shut it now, but as always I own nothing recognisable, please drop me a review and let me know what you think bc I'm actually a little nervous about posting this, even though I'm happy with how it turned out in the end!

~X~

Olivia couldn't help but stare down at the baby lying on the bed beside her. Six weeks later and she still found it surreal that she had made such a perfect little person. The past year had been an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. The shooting in the squadroom, Elliot's departure, and learning how to work with a new partner had been a lot to deal with on its own and when she found out she was pregnant, it hadn't gotten any easier. A small part of her had hoped that maybe, just maybe, her daughter would know her father in some capacity but it wasn't to be. She'd grow up surrounded by the squad, hearing their stories about what her dad was like, if Olivia ever told her the truth that was. Right now, she couldn't fathom tackling that kind of conversation with her baby. She lay on her side with her head propped up on one hand and as she gazed into her daughter's bright blue eyes, she couldn't help but let her mind wander back to the night it had all begun.

It was late but when she heard his voice crackle through the apartment intercom she hadn't hesitated to let him up. It had been months since she'd last seen or heard from him. She'd given up calling him when it became clear that no matter how many messages she left, pleading with him to just talk to her, or reminding him that she was there for him, he wasn't going to respond. She had told herself that when she did finally hear from him again, she wasn't going to let him off with going AWOL on her for months at a time without any contact. But now he was here, so she opened the door and let him in without a word.

She didn't put up a fight when after only the briefest moment of hesitation, he pushed her up against the wall by the door and kissed her hard. She kissed him back, bringing her hands up to his muscular chest as he pushed a leg between hers. She'd gasped when simultaneously, his lips moved to her neck and his hand gripped her thigh, bringing it up to hook around his hip. She could feel his hard length pressing into her and her stomach clenched at the thought of where this could lead. He had yet to say a word but she knew that if she asked he'd stop, maybe even explain himself a little if she pushed hard enough.

But she didn't. Instead, she let her hands fall to the button of his jeans and popped it open. In response, he hoisted her up into his arms and she wrapped her legs around his waist, kissing his neck as he clumsily carried her to her bedroom. When he dropped her onto the mattress she pulled him down with her and slipped her hands up under his t-shirt until he grabbed it and threw it off over his head. Her hands landed on his hips as he straddled hers and for a moment they were still. She was out of breath already, almost unable to believe that this was really happening, Elliot Stabler was in her bedroom, now removing her tank top to reveal her bare breasts.

She gasped and bucked into him when he sucked one nipple into her mouth, one of his hands playing with the other. She let her nails drag lightly over his skin as she worked her hands inside his jeans. She bit her lip when she discovered he was only wearing his jeans. She watched him kick off his pants before he stalked back toward her and grabbed the waistband of her sweats, tugging them down and taking her soaked underwear with them.

He moved back over her and planted his lips on hers again. She arched into him and let out a breathy moan when she felt his hand cupping her before his middle finger dipped between her folds to stroke her. She moved her lips to his ear, her teeth nibbling on his earlobe as she wrapped her hand around him and pumped him slowly.

"Liv." It was more of a hiss than anything else and she nearly missed it, but it was the first either of them had spoken since he'd entered the apartment. He pulled back a fraction and met her eyes for the first time, silently asking if she was sure she wanted to do this.

She said nothing in response but lined him up with her entrance. She let out a soft cry when he finally pushed into her. He stilled of a moment, breathing hard before she started to move, thrusting slowly at first until they both realised that they wanted more. Much more.

Olivia was the one to speed things up. She began thrusting up to meet him harder, silently challenging him to take control again. He did as she expected. He leaned up on his knees and gripped her thighs, pulling her into him harder and faster than she expected. She couldn't think straight anymore and gripped the sheets beneath her as she cried out, writhing at the sensations spreading through her body. They were both breathing hard and it wasn't long until Olivia's whole body was trembling.

"El..." It was barely a whisper and she didn't know or care if he'd heard her, but it was all the warning she could give before she clenched hard around him, her eyes rolling back as she came hard, her hips bucking involuntarily into his.

He grunted her name, squeezing her thighs tightly as he unloaded inside of her. He thrust into her a few more times before he pulled out and collapsed beside her.

Olivia sighed at the memory. They had gone all night, alternating between a hard fuck and being gentle, almost loving. She'd woken in the morning to an aching body and an empty bed. She wasn't surprised that he'd gone before she woke up but she couldn't say it didn't hurt like hell. She'd gotten showered and ready for work and had wanted to punch something when she saw the note he'd left beside her keys.

I'm sorry

She didn't care anymore if he was sorry. He had no right to abandon her for months and then use her for a good fuck before leaving again. She knew she'd be lucky if she heard from him again. He probably needed stress relief and knew she could take more than Kathy could. She wanted to kill him.

Nick had steered clear of her for the rest of the week at work. She'd arrived at her desk to find an envelope containing yet a medallion and a mini version of Elliot's old badge, another note from him accompanying the items.

Semper Fi

She had nearly launched her phone across the room when she read it. Instead she'd settled for throwing the note in the trash and burying the medallion and his badge deep in her locker to deal with another day. The hurt and the rage had stayed with her, though. For longer than she cared to admit.

Now, looking at their daughter, she felt the hurt and anger begin to surface again. He had never responded to the multiple messages she'd left when she found out she was pregnant. In the end she assumed he had changed him number and she really had no idea if he was aware that he had another daughter or not.

A sharp knock at her door snapped her out of her trip down memory lane and she sighed before she stood. She moved the baby to the bassinet by the bed before she made her way to the front of the apartment. She wasn't sure who it was, probably one of the squad coming to bring her food or something she'd left at the precinct in her rush to get home to her baby. Nothing could have prepared her for the man she saw when she looked through the peephole.

She backed away from the door silently, every moment of hurt from the last ten months burning inside of her at the sight of Elliot standing in the hallway awaiting her answer. She wasn't even sure how he'd gotten in. She hadn't buzzed him in and there was no doorman to speak of. What was he doing here? What did he want from her? Did he know about the baby after all? She stared at the door as if trying she could get him to leave by sheer will power alone.

No such luck.

"Liv, I know you're there." His tone was flat, almost dejected and she knew he wouldn't leave without at least talking to her.

She steeled herself and ripped the door open, glaring at him as he lifted his head to look at her. "What do you want?"

Elliot took a deep breath and looked her over. She looked good. "I just want to talk. Please, Liv. I won't take much of your time. I brought Italian food, I'm assuming you've not eaten yet."

The comment made her blood boil. All this time and he had the nerve to act like nothing had changed. She took a steadying breath before she moved aside and let him into the apartment. She saw him looking around as he placed the food on the coffee table, taking in all of the baby furniture that hadn't existed the last time he'd been there. Before he could speak, the sound of the baby beginning to stir filled the apartment and Olivia sighed. She'd been hoping she could hear Elliot out and send him on his way without going having to see him meet their daughter.

"So it's true?"

"What's true?" Olivia replied bluntly. She knew she was being awkward. It was perfectly clear what he was talking about.

"Don't play dumb, Olivia." He snapped. "The twins were out for lunch the other day they saw you in the diner with some guy and a newborn. And Lizzie, she works in that baby store in the mall. She saw you a few months ago. Never mentioned it then because she assumed you were undercover. But you weren't, were you? You really had a baby." He paused and looked away for a moment. "Is it mine?"

"Excuse me?" Olivia felt the rage bubbling just below the surface. She didn't have long before the small noises turned into an angry cry from her daughter, but she wasn't about to walk away from Elliot and make him think he'd won.

"Is it mine?"

That did it. "She, Elliot. She is yours. And if you had bothered to pick up your phone, acknowledge my existence even once in the last nine or so months, you would know that. I called so many times, left voicemail after voicemail for you, to tell you I was pregnant. Not once did I get a response. What else was I supposed to do? Call Kathy?" She chuckled humorlessly. "I never expected us to settle down and play happy families, Elliot, but I at least thought you should know about your kid!"

He was silent as the baby he now knew to be his began to cry, and his moment of hesitation was all Olivia needed to bolt in the direction of her bedroom. He debated following her but almost immediately realised that was not a good idea. He'd been half expecting to turn up and find Olivia was either at work or have her tell him it was all bullshit, there was no baby. But no. He had another daughter.

~X~

Olivia took in a shaky breath as she scooped the baby into her arms. A brief glance at the clock told her it was already time for her next feed and she sighed when she realised that once Elliot laid eyes on the baby, there would be no chance of just kicking him out and getting on with her evening. A frustrated groan fell from her lips as she grabbed everything she'd need before returning to face the man in her living room.

She watched the flurry of emotions cross his face when she reentered the room, it wasn't long before he managed to school his features, but it was too late, she'd already seen it all. She held in yet another sigh as she dropped onto the couch and focused on getting the baby settled on her breast. She knew he was watching her every move but she didn't care, the baby was most important right now.

Elliot couldn't take his eyes off of the pair in front of him. The baby was still tiny but Olivia already seemed to be a natural mother, as if she'd been doing it her whole life. He watched as the baby latched on immediately and Olivia rubbed her back soothingly, staring down into the face of her daughter with so much love in her eyes that he felt tears burning his own. The room fell silent and he had so many questions he wanted to ask her, probably had some explaining to do, too. But he couldn't bring himself to interrupt the peace.

Olivia was the one to speak first. She eyed the bag of takeout on the coffee table and told him not to wait for her, she'd be a while with the baby and the food was likely already freezing cold. He faltered for a moment before he took the bag to the kitchen and she listened as he moved around effortlessly to reheat and plate up their food. The entire situation was so domestic it stung and she was thrown back to all of the times they'd gone undercover as a couple. It was the same feeling then, she'd get a taste of what life could be like only to have it ripped away from her when they closed the case. He'd go home to his wife and kids, and she'd go home to leftover takeout and an empty apartment.

She hadn't noticed Elliot return until he sat down on the opposite end of the couch and placed two full plates on the table. She thanked him quietly as he began to pick at his food. She looked down at their daughter as she finished nursing and rearranged her tank top before lifting the baby to her shoulder.

"She has your eyes."

Olivia's statement caught him off guard and all he could do was watch her burp their baby. He finally kicked his brain into gear and he dropped his fork and turned to look at her properly. "What's her name? When was she born?"

"She was born six weeks ago. October 20th. She's called Grace. I call her Gracie sometimes." Olivia took a deep breath before she turned to look at him. "Her full name is Grace Ella Benson. After her dad."

Elliot couldn't stop the tears that spilled over at Olivia's words. After everything he'd put her through recently, she still named her baby after him. He didn't deserve it, he realised. It almost would've been easier if she'd yelled at him, turned him away when he'd shown up unannounced. That was what he deserved, but as always, Olivia forgave him. For the most part at least, he knew he still had a lot of making up to do, but he hoped she'd be willing to let him in a little. He wanted to be there for her and Grace in whatever capacity she would let him.

Olivia saw him struggling with his emotions, it wasn't a common sight when it came to Elliot Stabler, and she spoke up once again. "Here, you wanna hold her while I eat? She usually falls asleep right after she's eaten."

Elliot nodded and allowed Olivia to carefully place Grace in his arms. He felt his heart swell as he gazed down at her, taking in her tiny features. She was the perfect mix of both of them with his blue eyes and Olivia's dark brown hair.

Thanks for reading! Please drop me a review and let me know what you think of this so far.

My twitter is at Mhargibenson :)