It's the day of what would've been Harvey and Donna's 8th wedding anniversary. He took Cordelia to a playdate with Rachel and Mike's kids in that afternoon and went straight to the cemetery. As usual, he had brought flowers and a bottle of Macallan, from which he poured two doses – one for him, one for her. After drinking his, he once again sat on the grass to tell Donna how much he missed her – he could never say it enough – and how much she was missing on Cordelia's growing up.
Their daughter was strong-headed, but also amorous. Yes, he has adopted the dog she wanted – and, surprisingly, she actually helped quite a bit. Most of the work was done by him, though. She was still focused on theatre and starting to do some school plays – he thought Cordelia was as talented as her mom had been, but of course, he was biased. She kept saying she'd make Donna proud, and Harvey kept saying to her that her mom was proud of her because she was kind and happy, and it was all that mattered. And that he was also proud of her, for the same reasons.
"You know, just yesterday I found some videos of that trip we made to Leavenworth", he starts. They took the road trip with Mike and Rachel when Donna was seven-month pregnant. They wanted to get a little bit out of Seattle but wanted to still be close by. Plus, Donna couldn't stay in a car for long periods anymore, so the 2 and half hour drive to the picturesque small town where they could dine, appreciate the landscape, and even pay a visit to the theatre, seemed perfect.
"I've watched them with Cordelia yesterday, they were on my cloud. Rachel filmed so many hours… It's like somehow she knew", he continued. A couple weeks after the trip, Donna entered into premature labor. "Anyways, there's this video of the two of us in the lake, you were just sitting there, and Cordelia started to kick and kind of… pile up on the left side of your belly, so it became all… crooked".
Harvey chuckles, the memories of that day mixed up with the images he had seen. "Do you remember we were arguing about our daughter's name that weekend? You had just set foot you wanted her to be named Cordelia. I swear to God, it seemed like you'd chosen the name to drive me insane", he laughed, but tears came to his eyes, and he shook his head.
"She has asked me why she has such a unique name. She doesn't know any other Cordelias. Well, I don't know if she'll ever meet another." Harvey stood up, picked up the things, getting ready to leave. "You know you'd have it your way anyhow, don't you? You didn't need to pull this on me. I couldn't name her any other way."
Cordelia is at age 11 now. She's sitting at the kitchen table, pretending to cry. Harvey observes her as he takes a sip of his coffee, and flips the pancake. Although he's slightly irritated, he can't help but smile. She's looking more and more like Donna every single day, physically and in her temperament as well.
"Okay, that's enough", he hears himself speaking. "You can stop pretending now, and the answer is still no."
Cordelia raises her head and looks at him, a smile on her lips as well. "How did you know?"
"Oh please", Harvey dismisses her with a wave of his hand. "How many times did I see your mom pull that one, and not only with me". She's as good as Donna was, Harvey thinks. It took him a while to realize when Donna was acting. But most people couldn't tell, and he thought it'd be the same for Cordelia. She really could act, it was a gift.
Cordelia straights up in her chair, her eyes sparkling. "Yeah? Tell me more about mom, please daddy. Why wasn't she an actress?"
Harvey puts Cordelia's pancakes on a plate, and then in front of her, reaching a fork for his child. He sits across her, and takes another sip of his coffee, pondering.
"She was meant to be, you know. When I met her, she said she wanted to work for me for a while, and then go back to the theatre."
Harvey smiles, remembering the day they'd first met. He had fallen for her right there. If he wasn't so stubborn and stupid, they could've had more time together. He sighs.
"Then a lot of things happened. She was good at her work, and she enjoyed it, I think. She was an amazing COO. But she never really left the theatre, even when she was working at the firm in New York, she'd still do a few plays. You know, one time she convinced Louis to do a play with her."
"Really?" Cordelia smiles.
"I think we have the photos somewhere", he says. Cordelia jumps out of the chair, "Let's go look for them!"
"Not right now, kiddo. Finish your breakfast. I have to take you to school, and at night we can look for them, okay?"
Cordelia sits back slightly disappointed and takes a bit of her breakfast. Harvey then remembers, "Hey, isn't today the day you have an audition for your school play?"
"Yes, I'm going for Dorothy." Cordelia stays quite serious for a moment, playing with the bite of pancake in her fork. "Dad… and if I'm not good enough?"
Harvey looks at her and feels his heart sank. He knows she's talented, but he also knows it's a hard path. Maybe he shouldn't have had Cordelia used to get everything she wanted. But she's still kind and sweet, and he has no regrets about it, in the end.
Donna would be the one with more experience to deal with this situation. She'd know what to say. He's almost sorry for a second Cordelia got stuck with him instead of her, but shakes his head, dismissing the thought. Now it's not the time for self-commiseration.
"Cordelia, look", he says and waits until she looks at him before continuing to speak. "I told you before, and I'll tell you as many times as you need to hear, what is important to me is that you are healthy and happy. I know you're talented – as talented as your mom was, or even more."
She opens her mouth to cut him off, but Harvey raises his hand, asking Cordelia to wait.
"I know you'll say I'm biased, and that's… very much true. But you're still a kid – I'm sorry, preteen – and you still have lots of years to worry about what's to come. Right now, I want you to have fun with this play, alright? It doesn't matter if you're Dorothy or one of the back singers – whatever they're called – or if you're in charge of make-up or wardrobe. Promise me that nevertheless, you're going to enjoy the most of it. As your mom would, because what mattered to her the most was being part of the theatre. That's what she loved."
Cordelia smiles, her eyes teary. She's always loved the theatre, in part because that's where she felt somehow closer to the mother she's never had a chance to meet. However, she also likes dressing up and pretending to be someone else and even helping with costumes or whatever else was needed. She could be in the backstage for the whole day and never get tired of it.
She jumps out of her chair and goes to hug Harvey. "Thank you, Daddy, for remembering me of that." She looks at his eyes for one moment and then gets serious. "You know that I don't need anyone else, don't you? You're all I need. You're the greatest dad."
"How do you…" Harvey starts to ask because he was wondering – not for the first time – if it'd be better to Cordelia if she had another parent-like figure in her life. "I had forgotten you do this knowing-what-we-are-thinking thing, as she did."
Cordelia grins. "The fact that I don't need anyone else doesn't mean you don't, Daddy. You know that if…"
"I know, honey", Harvey cuts her off. "But there isn't anyone in my life."
She nods in agreement, knowing it's best to let the subject go. Donna was the love of Harvey's life and, despite the fact Cordelia knows he gets lonely sometimes, he doesn't seem to get interested in anyone. He lives for her and the firm, and, as much as she worries about him – and she knows Rachel and Mike do to because of conversations she's heard – there's nothing she can do.