Here's Chapter 7. A completely different one to the first version I had written. I'm not sure how I feel about it so I won't say anything, you can make your own minds up at the end! I still own nothing. Enjoy!

~X~

Olivia wasn't sure what had woken her, but as she rolled over onto her back she realised it must've been the discovery of the cold space on the mattress beside her. She sat up and listened, trying to figure out where Elliot had gone. He'd been holding her against him when she fell asleep and it was increasingly unusual for Grace to need them through the night. When she heard no signs of movement from either the bathroom or her daughter's bedroom, Olivia climbed out of bed and went in search of her partner.

It was barely three in the morning, she'd gotten home in time for dinner after any and all leads they had came up empty. Their evening had been relaxed, they'd spent time watching Grace try to shuffle across the floor between them. So she was surprised when she found Elliot sitting in the dark on the couch, seemingly staring into space.

She stopped and leaned against the wall, trying to work out the best course of action. She didn't want to startle him, but she also didn't want to scare him by sneaking up on him either. In the end, she didn't have to do either because without moving a muscle, Elliot spoke up.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

His voice was husky and strained and it sent a shock of worry through Olivia. She padded towards the couch and sat across from him, allowing him his personal space. "You didn't. El, what's wrong?"

There was a long, heavy pause before he answered her. Part of him knew that while she would be more concerned about him than anything, a small part of her would be hurt and potentially pissed at him for keeping this from her.

"I've been having nightmares again..." His words trailed off but Olivia heard what he hadn't said.

The nightmares were about shooting Jenna. Being back in the squadroom had brought it all back. Her heart ached for him. She wasn't sure what to say. It was just over a month ago that he'd paid them a visit at work, and it was clear now that he'd been struggling since then.

She took a deep breath and scanned his face, trying to get a better read on his emotions. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." Elliot shook his head and raised his tired eyes to look at her. "It's the same as before, instead of Jenna it's one of my girls, now including Grace. The thought of anything happening to any of them kills me, the thought that I'm capable of doing that..."

"You're not capable of doing that." Her tone was firm and she could she a flash of surprise in his face. "You didn't mean to shoot Jenna. You never meant to kill her. You're not a monster, Elliot. You would move heaven and earth to protect any one of your kids, you'd never hurt them. Sure, maybe you're not perfect and you've made mistakes. Who hasn't? Nobody is perfect. You're a good father. Every one of your kids would be lost without you." She reached over and gave his hand a soft squeeze as she let her words sink in. "Have you spoken to them recently?"

Elliot nodded quickly. It was one of the first things he'd done after he left the precinct. He'd called every one of his older kids and had a real conversation with each of them. Of course he hadn't mentioned the nightmares or anything about his time at SVU but it had been a while since he'd had a real catch up with any of them.

Olivia breathed out a sigh of relief. She was glad he'd called. It was then that her previous thoughts returned. "El, it's been over a month. Have you spoken to anyone about this?"

It was the first thing he'd done. Even before calling his kids. As soon as he sat back in his car he'd pulled out his phone and called his therapist's office. They'd been able to squeeze him in just before closing and he was beyond grateful. It may not have stopped the nightmares, but at least he was prepared. He'd seen his therapist more frequently in the past month than he'd expected, but he figured it was better than offloading onto Olivia and he got some help out of it too.

"I'm proud of you." His heart swelled at the truth in her tone. "I'm really glad you're getting help, El. But I want you to tell me if this happens again. Wake me up, talk to me, hell just ask me to hold you. I just want to be there for you. You're not alone."

Tears stung his eyes as Olivia shuffled them both so that he was lying back with his head resting on her stomach. She ran her nails through his cropped hair and smiled when he let out a long sigh. He closed his eyes and smiled up at her as one of his hands found one of hers.

Neither knew how long they stayed on the couch but when the sun began to come up Olivia stretched and tapped his shoulder before guiding him back to bed. Once under the covers, she tucked herself into his side, listening to his promises to do something with their weekend.

~X~

Elliot grinned as he sat on the picnic blanket with Grace. He was holding her on her feet in front of him, supporting her as she stomped her feet happily. Both of them had their eyes on Olivia and Eli. The young boy was running around excitedly while Olivia chased after him. He was squealing in delight every time he managed to evade her and the noise made Grace giggle loudly.

They'd had a good day so far. They'd spent the morning being shown round a handful of places in the city that were only just within their budget. They weren't seriously looking for a place yet. Instead, they were taking their time to look around and see what they wanted first, to learn what the other did and didn't want, what they were willing to compromise on, and what was realistically within their price range.

Their first outing had been successful. Olivia been surprised to learn that while there was a few specifics that she wanted - the kids' rooms absolutely could not be on the opposite side of the place to the master bedroom - and things that Elliot wanted - ideally a dining room, or at least somewhere they could put a table large enough for a family meal - generally they weren't too fussy. They agreed on the basics, good security was a must.

Olivia had floored him when she said that she'd happily consider moving out of Manhattan, but only on the condition that they both loved their new home, it was in a safe enough area, and that the schools around it were good. When he thought about it though, he realised that while she loved Manhattan, never having lived elsewhere, she was being realistic. They already had two children who couldn't easily share a room. If they wanted more then while room sharing may be necessary, today had taught them that they'd be hard pressed to find what they needed for the money they had in the city.

An excited babble from Grace brought him back to the present and Elliot laughed when Olivia collapsed in a heap beside him, complaining about not having enough energy to keep up with a five year old. He congratulated Eli when he ran over to the blanket and happily announced that he was faster than Livia.

The relaxation was broken by the sound of Olivia's ringtone and she sighed when she saw Nick's caller watched her face as she spoke to her partner and was confused when she didn't seem frustrated or disappointed when she hung up.

"How do you feel about going to Nick's place for a little bit before we head home?" Olivia asked. "It's his daughter's birthday and she apparently begged and begged until he agreed to at least call me."

His confusion at the statement must have been obvious because Olivia was quick to offer up an explanation. "While I was pregnant, he helped me out a lot. He was going through a divorce from his daughter's mother and sometimes needed help with childcare. So I'd watch Zara sometimes while he was dealing with lawyers or if he was on call and I wasn't. I haven't seen her in a while but it was nice spending time with her, almost like a glimpse into the future. And she was obsessed with all things baby related so she'd spend hours talking to my belly. Nick brought her to the hospital to meet Grace and her little face lit up. I wasn't so popular when she asked Nick if they could get a baby for Christmas."

Elliot laughed and his mind flashed back to when Maureen was little and she'd put a baby on her list to Santa. Kathy had nearly passed out. He quickly told Eli to start packing up his dinos as Olivia announced they would need to stop on the way to pick up a card and present for Zara.

It was just under an hour later when Nick opened the door to see Olivia standing on his porch with her family in tow. The sight made him smile and he stepped back to let them in, quietly informing her that Zara didn't know she was actually coming. Olivia grinned before she passed Grace to Elliot and turned towards the living room, listening to Nick call for his daughter.

The little girl froze in the hallway when she saw her visitor before she let out an excited squeal and sprinted towards Olivia. "Auntie Livia! You came!"

"Of course I came, sweetheart. I'd never miss your birthday. Look how big you are!" Olivia beamed as she held the girl on her hip. "How about we go through to the living room and you can open my present?"

Zara nodded excitedly and wriggled out of Olivia's hold, taking her hand to pull her to the couch. Olivia followed happily as she heard Nick welcome Elliot and introduce himself to Eli. It wasn't long before Zara was planted on the floor in front of the couch, tearing into the pink sparkly wrapping paper that covered her gift from Olivia.

She did feel a little guilty at leaving Elliot on his own with Nick and the kids, but it wouldn't belong before Zara was too engrossed in her new toys to be bothered with the adults.

Sure enough, after hugging Olivia and thanking her for her new barbie, Zara dragged Eli off to the other side of the room to find a way to include his dinosaurs in her new games.

Olivia turned back to her boyfriend and her partner, finally able to give them her full attention. It was a little late for introductions but she did it anyway, chuckling when the two men shook hands as though they had never met.

She couldn't help but sigh as once again, their attention was diverted away from conversation, this time by a knock at the front door. She wasn't sure who - if anyone - Nick was expecting but she found herself praying that it wasn't his ex-wife. If there was one thing she never wanted to encounter again, it was Maria's suspicious mind.

To her relief, she heard the voice of Cesaria Amaro from the front door as she let herself in. Olivia cast a glance to Elliot, trying to assure him they wouldn't stay too long if the questions got too intense. She loved Nick's mother, but the woman was nothing if not inquisitive and she often forgot how to filter herself.

Olivia scooped Grace from her place on the floor as she, Elliot and Nick stood to greet Cesaria. The older woman gasped when she saw the brunette and the baby and after she greeted her son, she immediately turned to Olivia and held her hands out to take Grace.

"Olivia, darling, it's so good to see you. Nicky didn't tell me you were coming. It's been so long, I can't believe how big my grandbaby is! You look amazing by the way." Olivia smiled genuinely at the happy greeting and bit back a laugh when Cesaria finally clocked Elliot behind her. "And who is this handsome man?"

"Mrs Amaro, this is Elliot. He's my boyfriend, Grace's father. El, this is Mrs Amaro, Nick's mom, she was one of the many people who took good care of me when I was pregnant. I think she must've cooked me months of food after Grace was born, too."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am." Elliot offered his hand to shake. "I guess I should say thank you for taking such good care of my girls."

Cesaria brushed his hand away and pulled him in for a hug instead. "Nonsense. Call me Cesaria, both of you. And, please, don't thank me. It was a pleasure. You guys made one beautiful baby."

Once everyone was seated again, Nick moved toward the kitchen to grab coffees and nodded for Elliot to follow him. With a deep breath, Elliot stood and went to the kitchen, he was sure he had an idea of what Nick was going to say - everything he couldn't in the middle of the squadroom - and he knew he deserved it all.

Alone in the kitchen, Nick turned to face Elliot, keeping his voice low as he spoke up. "I know you're a smart man, Stabler, so I'm not gonna lecture you. All I'm gonna say is that you didn't see the aftermath of you abandoning Liv. You didn't see the absolute devastation you caused. I'm not gonna go on and on trying to make you feel worse about that than you already do. But if you hurt her, even a little, if you hurt her or Grace even slightly, there will not be a safe place on earth for you. I know in the grand scheme of things, you've been her partner longer, you've been with her through more than I have. But she's my partner. She's like my sister, my mom looks to her like a daughter. It's my job to make sure she's taken care of, and I will always, always, have her back. No matter what happens."

"You threatening my boyfriends again, Amaro?" Olivia interrupted from her place leaning in the doorway.

Nick's eyes shot to hers and he tried to hide the obvious guilt in his expression, searching his mind for an acceptable excuse. It wasn't until a smile graced Olivia's face that he relaxed, he still hadn't lived down the way he'd wanted to go after Haden until Olivia had finally talked some sense into him. He took the hint Olivia was sending him and grabbed two of the coffee mugs, leaving Elliot to grab the other two before they returned to the living room where Cesaria was entertaining Grace.

It was almost an hour later that Elliot noticed Grace was starting to get cranky. Zara and Eli were still playing in the corner though it seemed it wouldn't be long before they fell out over something. Whether it was Eli's dinos killing too many of Zara's barbies, or the barbies fighting the dinosaurs too much, it was going to end in tears at some point. One look at Olivia told him she'd clocked it too, and they simultaneously decided to put an end to the evening before it turned sour.

With a promise to get together again sometime soon, Olivia and Elliot bid goodbye to the Amaro family and carried the kids to the car to head home.

~X~

"You know she absolutely cannot sleep in here tonight, don't you?"

Elliot's voice broke into Olivia's wandering thoughts and she smiled as she tore her gaze away from her sleeping daughter to meet his eyes. She was lying on her side with Grace lying on the mattress in front of her, sound asleep. It seemed like just yesterday she'd been in almost this exact position, staring down at her six week old baby when Elliot showed up at her apartment. But at the same time, so much had happened since that it felt like an age had passed. In reality, it had been just under five months and her tiny newborn was now an active six month old, determined to start moving under her own steam sooner rather than later.

"I know. She's so peaceful when she's sleeping. When she was tiny I would spend hours like this, just watching her sleep. I couldn't believe she was actually mine. I made her. How insane is that?" Her voice was quiet but she smile lit up her face.

Elliot was inclined to agree. Sometimes he'd wonder the same thing. He'd watch Grace in her bouncer and struggle to wrap his mind around the fact that she was half him and half Olivia. As she grew and developed her own little personality, it was more than obvious that Grace was going to be a miniature version of Olivia. If it wasn't for the bright blue eyes he'd wonder if there was any of him in her, but he wouldn't change it. There were times he'd dreamed of what their baby would look like, long before anything had ever transpired between them. When they dealt with babies or children at work, or when they went undercover as a couple, the few times others had insinuated that something had happened between them. Every time he had gone home to Kathy, wondering what it would be like to have a family with his partner. And now he did. He didn't have to wonder any more.

It was only when Olivia let out a long yawn that he was prompted to move. He carefully lifted Grace into his arms and disappeared to put her to bed. When he returned, he found Olivia already curled up under the covers. She patted the spot in front of her and held open the duvet, inviting him in. Elliot wasted no time in joining her and once settled, he pulled her close and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Today was a good day."

Olivia nodded in agreement. It had been a busier day than they planned and the exhaustion of a long week and busy weekend was catching up on her. She sighed in contentment when she felt Elliot's fingers start playing with her hair. It was only moments later she was asleep with her head tucked into his side.

I have really mixed feelings about this chapter. I liked the first section and I like the end section, but the middle just seems messy.

You can find me on twitter at mhargibenson :)