"I can't believe this." Ash glared at Shorter.
"Come on man!" Shorter waved the list in front of him "It's foolproof." Ash growled and snatched the list out of Shorter's hands.
"I'm not following your stupid Ten Ways to Get Your Crush to Go Out with You list. These are just ridiculous!" Ash tossed the list on the table and flopped down on a chair. "There's no way Eiji's going out with me anyways. You know my reputation. I'm lucky enough that he considers me a friend. I shouldn't ask for more."
"But you want more." Shorter sat down across from Ash. "We both know you want him."
"Of course, I do! But there's no way I could ever ask him out."
"That's why I wrote the list." Shorter confidently crossed his arms, "It's going to work trust me."
"What's going to work?" Both boys turned to see Eiji standing at the entrance of the dorm room. Ash jumped to his feet in shock. Eiji didn't leave in the dorm so he wasn't expecting him to walk in.
"How did you get in here?" Ash asked trying to calm his nerves.
"Bones let me in." Eiji suddenly noticed the paper on the table. "What's this?" Before Ash could stop him, he picked it up. "Ten ways to get your crush to go out with you?" Eiji rolled his eyes and turned to Shorter. "Who's it this time?"
"Now that's not fair. Don't just assume it's mine."
"It's in your handwriting!"
"Ok I wrote it, but it's not for me!" Shorter pointed at Ash. "It's for him.
"Shorter." Ash hissed angrily. Eiji's face fell slightly before he pulled himself together and smiled.
"I see." he paused looking thoughtful. "Maybe I could help you with this. Between Shorter and me we can get you ready to confess to your…" he paused again and his smile became forced "crush."
The room was silent for a moment then an evil grin started slowly growing on Shorter's face. Ash sighed. He knew that could only mean trouble. Before he had time to say anything Shorter threw his arm around Eiji's shoulders.
"Great, we could use your help. How about you pretend to be Ash's crush so he can practice on you before he" Shorter cleared his throat and shot Ash a look. "Attempts to do in real life." Ash shot him a death glare. Shorter was a dead man.
"Ah that's not…" Eiji seemed really reluctant. He paused then sighed. "I mean sure."
"Great!" Shorter threw his other arm around Ash and matched the boys to the door. "Let's get started!"
"Ten Ways to get Your Crush to Go Out with You"
Rescue scenarioA friend plays the villain and pretends to rob your crush. You step in and acts the hero. Crush is grateful and takes up the offer for a date.
"I can't believe you're making me do this." Ash hiss angrily. "Have you actually tried this before?" He was hiding behind a row of trash cans with Shorter. Eiji was waiting in the ally.
"Nah, but it works in movies, so I wanted to test run it with you and see what happens."
Ash shot him a furious look. Shorter ignored it and stepped out from behind the trashes. He sauntered over to Eiji.
"Hey there." He said slamming his arm against the wall and staring down at Eiji. "I'm low on cash." He smiled smugly and loomed over him. "Got any." Eiji looked up and Shorter and put on a fake scared expression.
"Oh no I'm being robbed someone help." Eiji monotoned. Ash took that as his que and stepped out into the open.
"Leave him alone." Ash's voice was just as stilted. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be in his room with his head buried under a pillow in embarrassment. Ash half-heartedly pulled Shorter away. Shorter stumbled back and pretend to fall over.
"Ahhh you got me!" he cried dramatically flaring his arms. Ash rolled his eyes. Eiji took a deep breath.
"You saved me!" He walked closer to Ash. "How can I ever repay you." Ash looked at Eiji his mind going blank. Eiji noticed his hesitation.
"You're supposed to take hold of my hand."
Ash didn't answer. He KNEW what he was supposed to do the problem was doing it. Ash took a deep breath and picked up Eiji's hands. They felt warm in his. He could feel the calluses from years of Pole Vaulting. Ash stood there enjoying how nicely they felt in his hands.
"Ash." Shorter hissed. "Say the lines."
"You could repay me by going on a date." The instant the words were out of Ash's mouth he felt his face turn red. It felt too real saying that to Eiji while holding his hands. He let go and turned away.
"Let's move on."
"Ok then!" Shorter was clearly enjoying himself too much. Ash debated if he could get away with hitting him over the head with a shovel and burying him in Eiji's backyard.
"Hey." Eiji gently patted Ash on his back pulling him from his thoughts. "it's ok to feel embarrassed." He smiled "Look at the bright side. At least you're practicing with me and not your crush."
Arm around crush's shoulder during a movie.Go to movie with crush. Pretend to be stretching and wrap your arms around their shoulder.
"Now this one's a classic!" Shorter said confidently looked around Eiji's living room. They had all trooped to Eiji's house so they could use the couch and TV as a fake movie theater. Currently Eiji and Ash were sitting stiffly on the couch.
"Ok, I'm turning on the movie. I'm going to skip to about halfway through. You don't want to do it to soon or you look too eager. Too late and there's not enough time from them to sort their feelings. Romantic scenes are the best ok?" Both boys nodded mutely. "Great!" Shorter pressed the button and Titanic started up "Ok Ash it's all up to you now."
Ash shot a side glance at Eiji who was pointy not looking at him. The blond took a deep breath and tried lifting up his arm. He never realized how heavy it was. How did one move their arm normally? He couldn't remember. Ash gulped and with all his straight lifted his arm over his head and stretched. He paused there.
"Ash, come on the scene is almost over." Eiji looked extremely tense. Ash couldn't think why that was. Even so he felt bad leaving him hanging. Slowly he forced his arm down.
Eiji's shoulders were thin and narrow. He could feel Eiji's heart pounding against him. He could hear every breath the Japanese took. Ash closed his eyes. This was bliss. Even if he never got a chance again, he would remember this moment.
"And cut!"
Shorter's voice pulled him back to reality. Eiji pulled away fast and charged out the room muttering something about using the bathroom. Ash watched him leave startled.
"Is he ok?"
"Hmmmm." Shorter grinned knowingly, "I wonder…."
Fake drowningJump into a poll and fake drowning so your crush will save you and give you mouth to mouth.
"Well that was a total failure." Shorter grumbled. "Stupid lifeguards. Who told them to bud in anyways?"
"It's their job" Ash's irritation prevalent in his voice. He felt like an idiot. He had jumped into the pool and thrashed around until a lifeguard pulled him out. "I don't even know why that on your list, you know it doesn't work. I was there when you tried it. All you got was a slap to the face."
"It could have worked…."
"Let's just get in some dry clothes. I didn't get to chance since they kicked us out for causing a ruckus." Ash gave one last glare to Shorter. Behind him Eiji sneezed. Ash glanced back at him his expression softening. The Japanese was walking a little behind clearly deep in thought. He looked kind of relieved. Ash shared that feeling. He wasn't sure if he was quite ready to kiss Eiji yet.
Locked in the closetYou and your crush get into a closet that mysteriously locks….
"Shorter watches too much anime." Ash seethed as he tried to get comfortable. Eiji and him were currently locked in the dorm's cleaning supplies closet. It smelt strongly of chemicals and wet mops. It was making him feel queasy. Of course, that could just be his nervous acting up from being too close to Eiji. He could feel the Japanese pressed against his chest. He hoped Eiji couldn't feel how fast Ash's heart was beating.
"Um." Eiji shifted a little, "Should we start Shorter's script?" Before Ash could answer the closet door opened and Bones' face peered in. He saw them and jumped back in shock clutching his heart.
"What the hell." He gasped. "Why are you two doing in there?! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Ash glared at him and elbowed his way out of the closet.
Throw a party and ask your crush to dance.Self-explanatory.
"Now I know this one actually works." Shorter smiled encouraging. "I got a few dates from people I've danced with. Ready?" Eiji and Ash nodded. They were standing in the middle of Eiji's living room again. Shorter and Eiji's little sister Yumi had decorated the room with streamers. Party music was playing in the background.
"You got this o-ni-chan." Yumi gave Eiji two thumbs up. "Enjoy your "fake" romance." Eiji growled a little and turned to Ash.
"Let's just do it."
Ash nodded mutely and held out a hand to Eiji.
"Hey there. I noticed you dancing alone. You don't have a partner?" His voice sounded small and unmotivated even to his own ears.
"No." Behind Eiji Yumi sniggered. He glared at her. "I'm free."
"Do you want to dance."
"Sure."
Ash put his arms around Eiji and Eiji shuffled closer. The second the Japanese was in his arms his heart started pounding again. He was holding Eiji. This was something that only happened in his dreams. Eiji fit into his arms as if he was meant to be there. Ash felt like Eiji was surrounding him, his warmth, causing him to relax.
They stood there swaying a little in the middle of the room.
"God this is awkward." Yumi complained. "Just kiss already."
"Yumi." Eiji pulled away and turned on her. "We talked about this."
"About what?" Yumi said innocently. Eiji rubbed his temple.
"Can I talk to you for a moment." He grabbed his sister's arm and marched her from the room. Ash watched them leave. He felt a little disappointed. The world was suddenly cold and uncaring without Eiji's presents. He mentally scolded himself. Eiji was just helping him. He didn't know how Ash felt.
Love poetrySing or recite love poetry.
"No"
"You're no fun." Shorter grumbled.
Offer them a ride.It's a hot day and your crush needs to get somewhere fast. You show up and offer them a ride.
"Ready?"
Ash was on Shorter's motorbike. A little down the road Eiji was in front of his house pretending to be going somewhere.
"Go!"
Ash put on his helmet and started down the road. He was mentally preparing himself for what was going to come. Eiji would get on the bike behind him and wrap his arms around his waist. Ash wasn't sure if he would be able to take it. His heart already felt like it was going to explode. Any more contact was going to kill him. Ash pulled up in front of the house and paused. Did he take his helmet off first? Did it even matter?
"Yes?" Eiji pressed. He seemed nervous. Was he afraid of riding the motorbikes? Ash couldn't remember if the Japanese had ever been on one before.
"You look like you need a ride." Ash held out a second helmet. "Hop on."
"Ok." Eiji took the helmet and put it on. He disappeared for Ash's sight and Ash could feel the motorbike shift as Eiji got on. His heart started pounding even faster. Any second now Eiji's hands would slink around his waist. Fingers brushed against the blond's shoulder and he tensed. Then he felt Eiji's hand on his back…
"Eiji Okumura what the hell are you doing?!"
The hand disappeared as Eiji fell off the bike. Ash whipped around to see Mrs. Okumura standing at the door, a broom in hand.
"How dare you lure my son to ride on that deathtrap. Who are you?" She snarled at Ash as she marched towards him. Ash leaned back a little, grateful he had the helmet on. Mrs. Okumura had mixed feeling about him. She knew he was a troublemaker but whenever he came over, he was polite and helped Eiji with his homework. Eiji's mother stopped inches away from him and glared at the motorbike. Recognition dawned in her eyes.
"I've seen that vehicle before. You're Shorter Wong aren't you?" She swung the broom at Ash, smacking him repeatedly with it. "Get out! And take that horrible purple mohawk with you!" Ash covered his faces as he started the engine and sped away. Behind him he could here Eiji's cries of protest. In the distance he saw Shorter bent over in laughter. For get a painless death Shorter was going to suffer.
Ferris wheelGet a private cart in a Ferris wheel with your crush.
"Shorter we are not going to go an amusement park to practice this."
"Why not?!" Shorter practically whined.
"Because it's a waste of money and time to practice something this stupid. Besides." He glared at Shorter. "You just want to dich us and go on some rides."
"I'm with Ash on this one." Eiji sighed. "It's too late in the afternoon. By the time we go there and come back it'll be almost midnight. I have pole vaulting early tomorrow."
Love letterYou write a love letter and send it to your crush.
Ash looked down at his letter. It was pretty awful. He had refrained from putting any of his real emotions in it. This was a practice after all, and he didn't want to shove his feelings on Eiji when the Japanese wasn't expecting it. If he ever got the nerve to give Eiji a love letter in the future (which he wasn't going to), he would put more thought into it. The letter went like this.
Dear Eiji,
I like you a lot. I think you look cute. I admire the way you pole vault. Meet me after school and I'll tell you who I am.
Sincerely,
Your crush
"What's this?" Shorter looked absolutely horrified. "It sounds almost threatening. I've seen you sweet talk your way out of detention before. What's this mess?"
"It is kind of…stilted." Eiji ran his eyes down the letter. "You need more details. Say what you like about them."
"Yeah," Shorter smiled evil at Ash. "Like, when you borrow my sweater shirt and it's too big for you, you look extremely cute. Or I love the way you pout when I tease you, it makes me want to tease you more. Or even, your laughter is the best sound in the world. Nothing can compare." At that moment Ash realized just how horrible Shorter was. He doubted that there was any way to make him truly suffer for his crimes. He knew why Shorter was doing this. It was payback for all the times he had moaned to him on how attractive Eiji was.
"L-l-let's move on to the last one." Eiji looked embarrassed. "There's no need for Ash to make up things about me in a letter. He gets the idea."
Unexpected kissEither do it Lady and the Tramp Style with pasta or play the Pocky
Ash gulped as he sat across from Eiji. In between, them was a container of Pocky. It felt like he left reality behind the second he sat down. This was not a fantasy. He was going to really do it. He was going to kiss Eiji Okumura. It didn't matter if he was ready or not. It was now or never. He'd never get another chance like this. Eiji licked his lips nervously and picked up a Pocky. He put one end in his mouth and looked expectedly at Ash. The blond hesitated and bit into the other end.
"Alright start!" Shorter said from the side. Ash could hear the excitement in his voice. He didn't have energy to be annoyed. He was too busy concentrating on eating the Pocky. Eiji's lips were coming closer and closer. This was it. The moment he thought would never come…
A suddenly thought occurred to him and he turned his head, breaking the Pocky in half. Next to him Shorter gave a disgruntled sound.
"Why'd you stop? You were almost there!"
"I can't do it." Ash's voice trembled. "Shorter, this is Eiji's first kiss. I can't take that away from him! His first kiss should be someone he loves not…" he gulped. "Me."
"Ash." Eiji's voice was barely over a whisper. "It's ok."
"No it's not!"
"Yes, it is!" Eiji looked Ash straight in the eyes his face set in determination. "Because I am doing it with someone I love…." He lost his nerve and buried his face in his hands.
Ash stared at him. He was doing it with someone he loved. Didn't that mean….Eiji liked him? The thought was so alien, so out there that he could hardly believe it. Eiji was out of his league. How could someone like him ever love Ash? He must have heard wrong.
"I'm sorry." Eiji's voice broke slightly. "I know it must be weird. You're so out of my league it's not even funny. I-I didn't practice with you to try to try to get with you. I offered to help because I wanted to be a good friend, and when Shorter said I would practice with you I couldn't back out without revealing my true feelings." Ash stared at him his mind catching up with Eiji's words. Eiji thought he was out of his league? That was absurd. Ash wasn't a Pole-vaulting star. He was a troublemaker.
Shorter suddenly stood up and stretched. The movement caused both Eiji and Ash turned towards him in surprise.
"Well then, it seems like my list works after all." Shorter beamed at them. "You're welcome."
"W-what are you talking about?" Eiji asked confused taking his hands away from his face. "Ash hasn't tried anything on the list on his crush yet. We won't know if it worked until then."
"You think so?" Shorter's grin grew. "I just watched him try most of the things on the list on his crush and do you know what happened?" Shorter's smile was practically reaching his ears. "His crush confessed to him. I say that's mission accomplished." Eiji frowned and Ash could practically see the wheels turning in his head. Finally, his eyes widened, and he turned towards Ash.
"You mean…."
"Yeah. " Ash looked away embarrassed.
"Really?" Eiji's voice trembled a little, "Do you mean it?" Ash turned towards Eiji and picked up his hands. He looked him straight in the eye.
"I love you Eiji Okumura."
Eiji gave a cry of joy and leaned forward burying himself in Ash's chest. Ash put his arms around him.
"Have fun lovebirds." Shorter saluted them before leaving. Ash ignored him, his attention completely on Eiji. After a minute Eiji pulled away.
"Ash do you mind if we…uh kiss?" his checks turned pink. "Without the Pocky…I mean if you want to-" Ash cut him off with his lips. He could feel Eiji stiffen in surprise and then melt against him. Ash closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy paradise.
Finally, though too soon for Ash's liking, Eiji pulled away. He glanced around the room confused.
"When did Shorter go?"
"You didn't notice?" Ash laughed. Eiji shook his head embarrassed.
"I was too excited that you loved me back to pay attention to anyone else" Eiji frowned slightly. "I don't know if I should be angry at him or thank him. That list was so awkward, but we did end up together…"
"How about this." Ash pulled Eiji closer, so he was practically on his lap. "First we buy Shorter a nice gift as a way to thank him, then." An evil grin spread across his face. "We steal his bike and go to the theme park without him." Eiji laughed. It was music to Ash's ears.
"That can be our first date." He leaned in closer to Ash. Ash looked down at him wondering how he got this lucky.
"Yeah."
And their lips met again.