For the second time in less than 24 hours, Catra woke to the feeling of being watched.
This time, however, the feeling came to her slower. She didn't open her eyes right away, gradually processing the sensation of being pressed against cool, unforgiving stone and curled around something warm that smelled familiar and safe. One arm was draped over the warmth, feeling a slight rise and fall that synchronized with the quiet sound of breathing from somewhere just above her head. Catra knew that sound. She'd grown up with that sound. Which is why it was very easy for her to say, with all certainty:
"I know you're awake, Adora."
Catra forced as much exhaustion and annoyance into the words as possible. It wasn't difficult; the freezing rock floor of the cave was hard as—well, a rock, so her sleep had been fitful at best.
Adora blinked slowly, like she was pretending to have just woken herself, before turning her gaze toward Catra. "Mm?"
"Nice try." Catra rolled her eyes and pushed herself upright, swallowing a groan as she pressed stiff muscles into motion. The fun thing about injuries and muscle fatigue was how everything always felt so much worse the next day, even if you hadn't slept outside, on a stone slab, waking up every few minutes with your heart pounding in your chest for fear that the nightmarish beasts out for your blood had finally found you.
Yeah. It had been a great night. Catra yawned and stretched slowly, wincing at the pull in her injured arm.
"Why didn't you wake me up instead of staring like a creep?"
One of Adora's shoulders twitched in something that might have been a shrug. "You looked tired."
Catra's eyes narrowed. "Tired of you, maybe."
Adora reached out and flicked Catra's tail, which was curled languidly across the floor near Adora's hand. Catra yelped and pulled it away with a look of indignant offense.
"I hope you enjoy walking to Bright Moon by yourself."
A thoroughly un-threatened snort of laughter was her response, and Adora shifted one arm in an attempt to push up from the ground, getting as far as putting slight pressure on it before her breath hitched and her arm shook. She sank back to the ground, and Catra made no move to help her. She deserved it.
Apparently Adora didn't care too much about her failed attempt to rise, because now she was lying still and staring at Catra with a faint smirk.
"You know something else?"
"I have a feeling I'm about to find out," Catra replied, dryly.
Adora ignored her, forging ahead with that obnoxious, satisfied expression firmly in place. "You were purring."
The side-eyed look Catra gave her could have killed from twenty paces.
"You're delusional."
"Mm-hm."
Ugh, that condescending fake agreement was even worse than outright arguing.
"You don't have to be embarrassed, you know," Adora continued, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "It's nice."
Catra's tail flicked. It wasn't embarrassment, exactly. Catra had never tried to hide her purring from Adora when they were young. It was just part of how her body worked, even if accidentally letting herself purr in public would earn a disdainful glance from Shadow Weaver or snickers of laughter from the other cadets. Right now, though, it just reminded her of how close they used to be, and Catra… didn't want Adora to get the wrong impression. After all, she still didn't like her.
Much.
Time to deflect. And after the previous night, she had plenty of material to work with.
"Nice, huh." Catra leaned closer, a dangerous smile curling her lips. "Like my ears? "
Adora's brow furrowed. "What?"
"Oh, don't tell me you've forgotten about that already," Catra purred. The crease in Adora's brow deepened. "Or how I'm so... fluffy." She had to grind her teeth to get that last word out, but the look of horrified remembrance on Adora's face was worth it.
"Oh, for the love of—" Adora lifted her hands to cover her reddening face. "I hate those pills," she groaned.
Catra leaned back and laughed, a real, genuine laugh that ended in a squeak—which she cut off as soon as she heard it, hoping Adora hadn't noticed. She hadn't, apparently, as she was busy dragging her fingers down her own face in embarrassment.
"Help me up, you jerk."
Catra did. It was a slow, careful process, but soon Adora was propped against the rock wall of the cave, a fresh, faint sheen of sweat on her face. The red of her embarrassment had yet to fade.
"We need to get out of here today," Adora said, after her breathing had mostly evened.
Catra stiffened. She agreed, vaguely, but the prospect of making Adora move again through a beast-infested forest was not particularly attractive. Adora was no help in her current state, Catra's own injuries had taken a massive chunk out of her fighting abilities, and when she factored in having to help Adora walk—well, they were both useless. Two useless, slow-moving, probably delicious targets for three probably angry, probably hungry, and definitely deadly beasts.
Staying in the cave was starting to sound a lot more appealing.
"Why? We're pretty safe here." Bow and Glimmer were bound to return in their direction sooner or later. Getting to Bright Moon would be easy, then.
Adora shook her head, eyeing the narrow entrance to the cave warily. "I'm not so sure. That smaller beast might be able to fit through the gap."
Catra stared at entrance as well, gauging the width. It was narrow, yes, and the smallest beast was still terrifyingly large… but then, it was also catlike. Cats, as she had learned after the Horde brought in competition for the rats she sometimes had to hunt for food, could fit through impossibly small spaces.
"Maybe. Maybe not."
Adora arched a brow. "Do you really want to find out?"
A vision came unbidden to her mind of the beast squeezing through the entrance, eyes and teeth glistening in the firelight as the two of them pressed helplessly against the back wall of the cave.
The only thing worse than being out in the open with these beasts was being trapped in a small space with one.
"Whatever," Catra forced out through clenched teeth. "We'll move. After you eat." She reached into the supply bag and pulled out the remaining ration bar, wishing briefly that the prior night's hunt had been more successful.
"Here." She tossed the bar toward Adora, realizing too late that she would probably try to catch it instead of letting it land nearby as Catra intended. Adora did, of course, hand jumping up to intercept the bar, falling short, and then flying to her side as she drew in a sharp, hissing breath.
"Idiot," Catra muttered for what felt like the hundredth time. She crossed the short distance between them and knelt, pushed Adora's hand away and lifting the edge of the bandage. What had been clear discharge the night before was yellowish now, and there was a hint of an unpleasant smell. The edges of the blacked wound were starting to take on a pinkish tinge.
Icy fear crawled up Catra's spine. Oh, wonderful. This was just what they needed.
Suddenly, Adora's insistence that they leave sooner rather than later made sense.
"How's it look?" Adora asked, breathing through her nose as she stared at the opposite wall.
"See for yourself."
Adora glanced down, the red tinge finally leaving her cheeks as her face paled at the sight of the wound. "Ugh." She swallowed.
"Yeah. Nasty, isn't it. Makes you think maybe you shouldn't pull crap like this in the future, doesn't it." Catra said in a low, sarcastic tone.
"Crap like saving you?"
Catra finished replacing the bandage and tightened it, cutting off Adora's words.
"Don't start that again." Catra picked up the ration bar from the ground and shoved it into Adora's hand. "Eat."
Adora pushed it back. "You need it more than I do. You've practically been carrying me."
Catra fought the urge to growl, pushing the bar back again. "And you spent the last day bleeding all over Etheria."
"So?
"So eat the bar. Water replaces blood volume, but you need the iron and vitamin crap they pack into field rations to help your body make the actual 'blood' part of blood."
Adora blinked. "I—yeah, I guess. How'd you—"
"You just assumed I slept through all our classes."
"Okay, fine," Adora sighed. "But you're splitting it with me. You need to keep up your energy." Catra's mouth opened in protest, but her words were cut off by a growl from her own stomach. Her face reddened.
"Fine," she seethed. Adora's lips trembled as she tried to suppress a smile.
"Fine."
"So," Adora said, much later, flushed with exertion they continued their slow, careful climb to what Catra desperately hoped was the exit of this cursed canyon. "Have you seen any sign of Glimmer or Bow?"
Catra stopped counting steps—somewhere around 872, after she'd started counting to try and keep her mind off the way Adora's weight over her shoulders made her ribs feel someone was stabbing her with every inhale—and startled, accidentally yanking on Adora's arm. Adora stumbled and grunted in pain.
"What?" Catra demanded.
How? How could Adora possibly know? She was in the cave, unconscious when Glitter and that stupid Arrow boy showed up. Unconscious when Catra let her own selfishness blow their one good chance to get out of here, quickly and safely. There's no way she could have known.
Right?
"No." Catra bit out the reply. "Of course not."
Adora shot her an odd look. "It was just a question."
Every muscle in Catra's body was turning rigid, intensifying the ache of her injuries—but that, along with every other sense, became distant as she focused intently on the ground before them.
"Stupid question," she muttered.
"'s not—" Adora's breath hitched as they went over an uneven patch of ground, "—a stupid question," she finished, defensively. "I just thought they should've come looking by now, it's been a long time since the battle."
Guilt rose in Catra's throat, threatening to choke her. "Yeah, well. I guess friends don't always live up to our expectations, huh."
Adora stiffened and stopped moving, dragging them to a halt. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Catra couldn't stop the words from coming, like she had thrown herself down a hill and lost all control as she tumbled downward.
"You know exactly what it means."
Well, she thought, wincing as the words fell from her tongue. Guess we're doing this now.
Adora pushed away from her and stood unsteadily, curled slightly over the arm she braced across her stomach, but her eyes focused on Catra. Bright. Confused. Angry.
Catra fought the urge to look at the trees, the ground, the sky—anywhere except Adora's gaze.
"What's gotten into you?" Adora demanded. "I thought…"
Catra crossed her arms. "You thought what?"
"I don't know. I thought we were past this. Getting past it," she amended, too late.
The dying flame of anger in Catra's chest flickered back to life. "I guess that would've been nice and easy for you, huh."
Adora's face twisted, whether in anger or guilt, Catra wasn't sure. "Catra, don't. You know why I had to leave."
The flame of anger leapt higher, warming her from the inside out. Burning her.
"Yeah." Catra's tone was low, dangerous. "Yeah, I know. Because after watching Shadow Weaver torture me our entire lives, you saw some random strangers get their houses blown up—and that was what finally convinced you the Horde was evil. Because I—" her voice threatened to break, and she steadied it. "I wasn't enough."
Adora flinched. "I didn't—"
"No," Catra interrupted. "You didn't."
There was silence for a moment.
Adora's gaze dropped.
"I didn't want it to happen. I didn't want... this." Her voice was quiet, almost sad, and Catra hated the way she bristled in response. Adora shouldn't get to be sad over what happened. Not when it was her fault.
"Oh, I forgot. You're a princess now. You get everything you want."
Adora stiffened, hand falling from her side, eyes blazing with anger. "No, Catra, I don't!" She took a halting step closer. "You think I wanted us on opposite sides of a war? I wanted you to come with me. I didn't want to fight you! I didn't want us to grow up the way we did, and I didn't want to be Shadow Weaver's favorite."
"Right," Catra scoffed. "It must have been terrible for you."
Adora went red with anger, taking a step closer before suddenly halting and curling forward, her arm shaking as it pressed into her side. She stumbled a few steps back to lean against a nearby tree, and Catra fought the urge to reach out to her.
"You know exactly what it was like," Adora said. "I know you had it worse than me, I know. But if you think for one second that it was fun for me, or what I wanted—" she broke off, then gave a shallow sigh. "Don't you remember anything?"
Catra bared her fangs. Of course she did. She remembered everything.
She remembered Adora stumbling into the barracks late at night, too exhausted to speak, covered with bruises from training with cadets nearly twice her size. Remembered how Adora's back went rigid—remembered the smell of her fear—when Shadow Weaver's hand caressed her face, even though Catra could only dream of a touch that gentle. Remembered the first night that Adora's breathing became faster, shallower, heartbeat thundering so loud that Catra thought it would deafen her as she swung down from the bunk overhead and coaxed, begged Adora to breathe with her. How when her breathing finally slowed, she collapsed against Catra's shoulder, exhausted. How it happened again, and again, and again, until finally Catra stopped sleeping on the top bunk and stayed with her every night.
They both slept easier, then.
"Look, I…" Adora said, her voice startling Catra back to the present. She grabbing absently at a nearby vine and yanked a leaf off it as she spoke. "I know I screwed up, okay? I hated how Shadow Weaver treated you, but I was too much of a coward to acknowledge it, let alone do anything about it, so I overcompensated. I kept trying to protect you everywhere else, everywhere you didn't need protecting. And I know you can take care of yourself, I know! I just…" she pulled off another leaf, "thought the teasing would make you feel better. Like I wasn't pitying you."
Catra blinked, mind spinning as she tried to reframe years of anger and frustration in light of this revelation.
"Wow. That was…"
"A terrible idea, yeah, I know."
"The worst."
"I know. I'm shit at communicating properly."
Catra could feel the mood lightening, her own anger fading. It came with a strange sense of relief.
"You really, really are."
Adora narrowed her eyes, ripping more greenery off the vine and throwing the whole handful at Catra. The small leaves fluttered down between them disappointingly. "Like you're any better."
"Please, Adora. I've always been better."
Adora scoffed. "You wish."
Catra raised an eyebrow.
"Sorry. Reflex."
"Whatever," Catra replied, feigning disinterest. "You're injured. I'll let you find comfort in your delusions."
Adora's eyes narrowed. "You're the worst person I know."
"Flattery will get you nowhere," Catra said, airily, stepping closer and offering Adora a hand. "Now. Can we get going?"
"Yeah," Adora replied, and Catra heard a hint of her own relief in Adora's voice as she settled one arm back over Catra's shoulders, the other still held loosely but protectively over her wounded side. Her face was flushed again, and Catra tried not to notice how the warmth she felt radiating from Adora's body was noticeably more intense than it had been the day before. A muscle in her jaw tensed as her gaze fixed resolutely on the faint path before them.
"Let's get out of here."
A/N: I'm back! (ish?) I feel like I should apologize that this was relatively short and essentially nothing happened again... aheh. I have a much more eventful chapter outline, but when I hit 3k words and only like halfway through the outline I realized I'd better split it up, lol. I've already started the second chunk though. :)
Let me know what you think (or if you're dying waiting for the season 4 release because I SURE CAN'T WAIT TO GET EMOTIONALLY DESTROYED AGAIN)
(come hang with me on tumblr at adoras-last-braincell if you want dumb she-ra stuff and occasional fic updates!)