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Written for Auction: Day 25: Auction 4: "My heart is someone else's."

Word Count: 1316

Working Together

"You should go on a date with her," Pepper pushed gently. "It can't hurt, can it?"

"What's the point?" Tony asked, leaning back in his seat. "It's not like I can offer anyone anything, is it?"

"Tony—"

"My heart is someone else's, Pep," Tony interrupted dramatically, resting the back of his hand against his forehead. He rolled his eyes. "But no, really, it's pointless."

"Even now? After everything?"

Tony smiled sadly. "Not even a shield to my chest can make me stop loving him, Pep. It's useless to even try."

…

"You're really just… giving up on love?" Rhodey asked, his eyebrow arched in question as he watched Tony practically prance around the kitchen making the two of them dinner.

It was weird. He'd started cooking, and sleeping and… functioning like an adult. Rhodey wasn't sure he liked it.

"I'm not… giving up," Tony replied thoughtfully. "I'm just… accepting the limitations of my current position. It wouldn't be fair on anyone that went on a date with me, Sour Patch. My heart isn't in it, and my head is on another continent as far as dating is concerned."

Rhodey twisted his lips and shook his head. "He doesn't deserve you."

"If we all got what we deserved in life, I'd be fucked."

…

"I don't understand."

"What don't you understand, Kid?"

"Pepper and Rhodey… they told me that you won't date anyone else because of Steve," Peter said, his cheeks flushing. "But Steve… he hurt you. I don't understand."

Tony sighed. "They shouldn't have said anything to you. It's not.. What happened between Steve and I is complicated. He's not… completely to blame for what happened. He's not a bad person, Pete, he just made some bad calls. Besides, I love who he is, not what he did."

Peter nodded. "I still don't like him. Not after what he did to you."

Tony smiled at the naive loyalty and ruffled Peter's hair. "Nobody says you have to like him. It's not like he's here for any of us to deal with anyway, is it?"

…

"You confuse me," Pepper said, shaking her head. "You've been waiting for him since he left and now he's back… you're still not doing anything. Am I missing something?"

"I haven't been waiting for him," Tony replied softly. "I just didn't want to date anyone else. Doesn't mean I'm going to jump straight back into it with Steve, either."

Pepper rubbed her temple. "I can't say I'm not glad about that," she admitted a moment later. "The thought of him near you makes me angry enough to want to poke him in the eye with my heel."

"When did you get so violent?"

"You bring the best out in me," she quipped with a grin. "You're an adult and you'll make your own decisions but… I'm your friend and I love you and what he did to you… it's going to take a while for me to be able to see him and not want to hurt him, okay?"

…

"Can we talk?"

Tony looked up from the gauntlets he'd been working on for War Machine and nodded. "Sure. Come in."

Steve stepped into the workshop and the door closed silently behind him. Tony turned in his seat and he waited for Steve to speak.

"I'm sorry, Tony. For… for so much, but mostly for hurting you. No matter what I should have or would have done to help Buck… I never, ever wanted to hurt you to get there. I never want to be the one to hurt you."

Tony nodded slowly. "I believe that. I've thought a lot about everything that happened, you know? And a lot of what happened… It was spur of the moment, our hands were tied or they were forced and I can forgive a lot of it. I have forgiven a lot of it."

"But not all of it?" Steve asked.

Tony shook his head. "Not all of it. Because I can't, for the life of me, figure out how you could profess that you loved me while you believed I was an unmitigated monster."

Steve frowned. "I don't understand."

"You didn't tell me about my parents to protect Bucky. Did you think, if you'd been the one to sit me down and tell me, that I'd go after a brainwashed victim? Did you think I'd blame the gun, like Wanda has with me?"

Steve's face paled. "Tony, I—"

"Because seeing it, while Barnes was right in front of me, and you knew and had known about it for two years… it's understandable that I'd lose control of my emotions, right? But if you'd told me in a calm way, let me process it over time… none of that would have happened, because I'd have known what I was walking into. But you must have thought that I'd hunt Barnes down even despite understanding the circumstances surrounding him. Which returns me to my original point, Steve. How could you lie beside me in bed, how could you tell me that you loved me, while you believed me to be that much of a monster?"

Steve was silent for a moment and then he stepped forwards, dropping to his knees in front of Tony.

"I do love you and never once did I think you were a monster," he whispered. "Tony, you're the best man I've met in this century. I didn't… I wasn't sure it was Buck at first. I had an idea, but… it wouldn't have mattered if I'd known or not. I wouldn't have told you because I'm a coward. I didn't want to be the one to cause you the pain I knew it would; I know better than most the struggle you've had with Howard and I didn't… I couldn't bring myself to hurt you with that again, when you were… you were happy, Tony. I just wanted to keep making you happy, so I didn't tell you even when i knew I should and that's on me. That's my fault, and if you never forgive me for it then it's nothing less than what I deserve."

Tony stared at him for a long moment and then turned his face away. "I don't know how I feel about… any of that. You say you were a coward but… I don't know if I believe that, Steve. What happens the next time you discover something you don't think I should know? How do I know I can trust you; even in the field?"

Steve looked lost for a moment. "I… I know that I can't ask you to trust me, I don't deserve it. Can I ask you for time to prove to you that you can trust me? Can I ask for another chance, even though I know I don't deserve it?"

Tony sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. "Here's the thing. I love you; I've loved you for so long that I don't know how to not, and don't think that I didn't try, Steve. I tried so hard to hate you, but… I couldn't. So, I love you, and I'll always love you but… love isn't always enough, is it?"

"Tony—"

When Tony looked down at Steve—still on his knees—to see tears streaming down his face unchecked.

"I love you," Tony repeated. "And I've missed you like I'd miss a vital organ. So… so I guess I don't have a choice but to try, do I?"

Steve shuffled forwards and wrapped his arms around Tony's waist, burying his face against Tony's stomach. Tony could feel him murmuring 'sorry' into his stomach almost silently.

Tony sighed and let his hands fall into Steve's hair, playing with the soft, blond stands. It would take a while, he knew, but he knew that they could fix it. Between them, there was little that they couldn't do when they worked together.