6
….
"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Jack said to my reflection in the mirror on the bathroom door. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched me finish my morning routine. He was already ready, of course. Dude ran like a precision clock.
Janet lay curled up on the made bed, obviously claiming the whole thing for her daytime sleeping spot. If we didn't leave soon she'd be giving us the stink eye, wondering why we were invading her sleeping space. Jellybean sat at Jack's feet, ready for the day ahead.
"It's okay. I know you have a lot going on trying to get all your Christmas orders done," I said. Jack did custom carpentry, which usually translated into high end kitchens. You wouldn't believe how many people decide they want their kitchen redone in time for a Christmas party.
"I know, but you're more important," Jack said. I smiled pulled the toothbrush out of my mouth to peek around the corner to smile at my hunky boyfriend
"You're so sweet. It's okay. I think I wanna do this alone — it feels important somehow." I wasn't sure why, but it did. "I think they squirm more when you're there, which is good, but if they are alone I won't have their 'guest
manners' and I can see what they are really up to."
Jack coughed a reluctant laugh. "Hoping they aren't up to anything except wanting to see you."
"Here's hoping," I said, shutting down the bathroom and speeding into the bedroom.
"You're going to be late," I said as Jack stood.
"I'm never late," Jack said, grinning at me. "But you will be unless you leave right now."
Downstairs, he handed me a to-go thermos of coffee, kissed me goodbye, and I headed toward another day at work. I worked in the veterinary clinic in the next town and had a solid commute ahead of me. I would have to take a long lunch to meet with my parents and be back on time.
This was good, then I didn't have to sit through a long awkward meal. I'd show up, deliver my message, see what they had to say, and then leave. In, out, done.
A LOT of business lunches happen at country clubs. I've learned this over the years, and many old members have their favourite tables. I found my parents sitting at my dad's. It was weird in a way, like old times, no big deal, another lunch at the club.
Except this time I intended to run the meeting.
"We haven't ordered yet," my mum said.
"That's fine," I said, but inside I was glad they hadn't presumed to make any decisions for me. It would have been bad — symbolically.
My dad took off his reading glasses where he'd been poring over the menu I was sure he already knew by heart. "I'm glad you decided to meet with us again, son."
"Me too," I said. "And I've thought a lot about our conversation. You're right, a lot of talk is just a lot of talk."
My parents glanced at each other and I saw my mother visibly swallow.
"What kind of action would you like to see?" my dad said.
"I thought about that," I said. "Let me tell you a story."
Just then the waiter came by and asked for our order. I'd seen the menu on my way in.
"I'll have the special, Steven," I said to the waiter I'd known most of my life.
"Sounds good to me," my mum said. She looked at my dad, and he nodded. Steven left and I looked at my parents back and forth, habit making me dread confrontation, but history making me relish keeping them in suspense.
"All too often, teenagers are thrown out of their homes by their parents for being gay," I said. My mum looked like she was going to say something and I held up my hand. "Let me say this."
My dad took her hand and held it, and stared at me.
I continued. "A lot of these kids have nowhere to go, and end up being forced into prostitution in order to survive."
My father's jaw dropped and my mother's eyes welled up with tears.
"We are talking sometimes really young kids, but at any age this is horrible. In some places, people have started trusts and opened safe houses for these kids. They are able to continue their education, get support, and hopefully create a family who cares about them."
I stopped and looked at my parents. They simply stared at me. Then my mum said, "That is awful. Why are you telling us this?"
"That's that I want to do. I want you to start a trust and I want you to open a safe house for LGBT kids. In the UK there is a thing like this they call the Purple Door Project. I want a Torchwood Purple Door project."
My dad frowned. "That would be incredibly expensive."
I nodded. "It would. Good thing you have lots of rich friends."
My mum's lip quirked in a little smile when I said this.
"Part of my stipulation is that this be a publicly known project and that you enlist all of your fat-wallet friends. You can remind them that their donations are tax deductible," I said.
"What's the second thing?" my dad said. "You said there were two things."
"Ah, yes. The second thing is a little smaller. I want to open a pet shelter in Torchwood."
"So your theme here is shelters?" my dad said, chewing on the end of his glasses in thought.
"My theme is safe homes," I said. "I was too much of a coward to stand up to you when I was a kid, but some of these kids aren't even given a choice. It would balance a karmic debt for you to do these things."
"How does the animal shelter fit into this?" my dad wanted to know.
"Because Torchwood doesn't have one, and you get to finance one because I asked you to," I said. "Think of it as justice for holding the practice over my head."
My mother laughed, and then covered her mouth. My dad turned and looked at her incredulously, and she shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well, ask a silly question!"
"This would take quite a bit of time to get off the ground," my dad said. "How is that going to work?"
"I'm a reasonable man," I said. "We can meet with your accountant and your attorney, and get a signed notarized contract that you will do these things. You will put the teeth in the contract so that you show me in good faith that you will do it."
My father raised his eyebrows and sat back in his chair, just as the salad course arrived. "I'm impressed by your straightforward demands, I have to admit."
"Good. Then you'll do them?" I felt my heart pound as I stared into my father's gray blue eyes.
"Absolutely," he said, and extended his hand to shake mine. I looked at him for a moment to gauge whether he meant it, and then shook his hand.
My mum jumped out of her chair and pulled me up for a hug. "I missed you Ianto," she said, sniffling into my ear.
"I hope you're ready for a new hobby," I said loud enough my dad could hear.
"We are," he said. He picked up his fork and regarded his salad. "We could get the shelter moving quickly, especially since it sounds like you want to spearhead that."
I nodded, he was right.
"The other would require more fund raising and more legal structuring in order to do the most good. It might take a year before we could get a house going, but we can have the meeting you want right away. "That works for me," I said. I felt numb, after so many years of working under the conforming pressure of my parents, and then these last few months of zero contact.
"You just have to give me time to acclimate. Most people don't change overnight," I said.
"This isn't overnight," my mom said. "We've done a lot of soul searching in the last few months. Nothing is more important to us than righting the past."
I knew she was right, and I also knew that while this would take some effort on their part, I wasn't asking for the impossible. My mother came from a lot of money, and my dad's family were decidedly well off.
"The most important part for me is that you would undertake these projects publicly," I said.
"Absolutely," my father said. "I'd name the trust after us, but I don't think you want us to do that," he chuckled.
For the first time in a long time, I felt my humor lift in the presence of my parents. "Heh, yeah no. But thanks for the smile."
Steven appeared with the entrees and I realized I'd barely touched my salad.
"Can you box all of mine up for me?" I said. "I have to get back to the office."
"When are you going to eat lunch?" my mum wanted to know. She seemed aghast.
I laughed. "I'll find fifteen minutes somewhere." I stood up to leave and looked at both of my parents. "I'm glad we had this talk."
"I'll call the attorney today and keep you in the loop," my dad said. He seemed energized by this already. I thought about reminding mom this would keep him out of her hair but thought better of saying it. This was going to give him an excuse to call me with constant updates.
I sighed. I guess I'd get to find out if he really meant all this or not. As I stood, Steven appeared with my take-out boxes. My dad stood and shook my hand, and my mom hugged me.
I decided to go for it. "We're having a party on Christmas eve, if you aren't doing anything else."
My dad's face lit up and my mum clapped her hands.
"Oh goody!" she said. "I love your Christmas eve parties!"
"The girls asked if we were going to sing the 'Nos Galan' song," I laughed.
"What did you tell them?" my mom said.
"What do you think he told them?" my dad boomed, a big grin breaking out on his face.
"Of course we are!" I said, unable to control my smile.
"And the girls want to dress like Santa Lucia," I told my mum. "I haven't done anything about that yet."
"I'll get the dresses!" she said, clapping her hands. "And the crowns!"
"Good plan," I said. "Electric please."
ALL THE WAY back to the office I had the "Nos Galan" song in my head. My dad would start the song on this old record, and we held hands and circled the Christmas tree around and around, and then he would lead us through the house. We would sing along as best we could.
I found out years later that the lyrics go something like, "Christmas is here, Christmas is here and it will last until Easter. No it won't, because first there's Lent and fasting." These repeat over and over, as the song goes faster.
I laughed out loud to myself at the absurdity and fun of it all. Maybe Christmas could last all year. Or at least until Lent.
1. Oer yw'r gwr sy'n methu caru,
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
Hen fynyddoedd anwyl Cymru,
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
Iddo ef a'u car gynhesaf,
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
Gwyliau llawen flwydd nesaf,
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
2. I'r helbulus oer yw'r biliau
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
Sydd yn dyfod yn y Gwyliau,
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
Gwrando bregeth mewnun pennill,
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
Byth na waria fwy na'th ennill
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
3. Oer yw'r eira ar Eryi,
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
Er fod gwrthban gwlanen arni,
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
Oer yw'r bobol na ofalan',
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
Gwrdd a'u gilydd Ar Nos Galan,
Fal la la la la, la la la la.
My parents taught me it was this traditional Christmas song and maybe it was, but I realized when I got older that it was probably also a drinking song. It was one that was the origins of 'Deck the Halls' so it wss all about being merry right?
If I could have a good relationship with my parents, believe they have changed, and create safe havens for animals and kids, I couldn't think of anything else I wanted for Christmas.
Well, maybe one thing. I'd have to wait until Christmas to find out if I got it.