John Shepard

"Dammit…" John cursed quietly as he dropped his micro solder onto the mess table and sat back in his chair. Groaning, he leaned his head back and ran his hands over his face with a deep sigh.

"Are you alright, Commander?" Miranda's voice pulled John's attention as he opened his eyes to look at the woman, upside down.

"Been better," John grunted as he pulled himself back up. Looking down, he surveyed the mess table currently covered in micro tools, small electronic parts, towels, grease….even half a sandwich that he didn't really remember making.

"If I might ask...What are you doing?" Miranda sat in the seat opposite from his as she also took in the chaos.

"Upgrading this," John answered as he held up the bulky, battered shell of the quarian omnitool. "The guts are more than a little behind the times. Besides, they took a beating, what with atmospheric reentry and all."

"Must be important to you," Miranda nodded. "When we received your...well, you. It was actually difficult to remove it from your arm. You had pulled it in against yourself, then your armor fused around it. Almost like a protective barrier."

Looking at the omnitool, John grunted and shifted his shoulders uncomfortably. "It was a gift from a close friend."

Miranda was silent for a moment before letting her gaze drop to her hands, folded in her lap. "Listen...I wanted to say I...I'm sorry for what happened with Archangel...with Garrus. I messed up, and-"

"No," John said simply as he set the omni tool down and picked up one of the tools.

"No?" Miranda frowned as she watched him. "What do you mean, no?"

"I mean, it isn't your fault. That's the way Garrus is. He is the hero. He saves people. It's what makes him my best friend," John spoke quietly as he worked, his movements were careful now, sure, as he added circuits here, and wires there.

"But, I could have taken the hit!" Miranda exclaimed suddenly as her hands curled into fists, still in her lap. "I am not a damsel that needs rescuing! I am perfect!"

"Perfect doesn't mean invincible," John nodded, still focused on his work. "You put a lot of your self worth into your being perfect. But you aren't perfect. Nobody is perfect. It would be pretty boring if we were anyway."

"I have nothing else, Shepard," Miranda growled. "My father paid a ridiculous amount of money to sculpt my genes. I am one of the most powerful human biotics. I will live more than twice as long as a normal human. Even my looks are designed to give me an advantage."

"Sounds like you have a strong starting point," John said simply. "You didn't become who you are by being designed. You became Miranda by living a life. Having your genetic advantages just gives you more tools to use in your life."

Miranda sat quietly staring at her hands as she slowly flexed them open. "I wasn't even the first."

"Pardon?"

"I wasn't the first version. I don't know how many versions he tried before me. I had so many sisters…. " Miranda's voice dropped to slightly above a whisper. "I don't even have a mother. My father just had his DNA shaped with two X chromosomes. I was carried to term in a previous version of me."

Pausing, John looked up at Miranda. His gaze lingered on her face as she stared blankly at the table in front of her. "No offense," he said, raising an eyebrow as she looked up at him. "But your dad is fucked up."

"Ha!" Miranda couldn't help but laugh as she wiped away the beginnings of tears she didn't know she was capable of shedding. "That is a serious understatement."

With a nod, John turned back to his omnitool and plugged a cable into the side of the device, checking the power load. Like that, John worked in silence as Miranda watched, mesmerized by his sure, steady movements. It was hard to picture those hands belonging to a man that wrestled with a YMIR mech, and won.

"Do you even wonder about your father?" Miranda asked suddenly, into the silence, and smirked slightly as she saw John almost fumble the placement of the micro power generator.

"That's an odd question. I assume you are not referring to Hestalia," John cleared his throat as he removed and reseated the off center part.

"No..well...She is a mystery enough," Miranda admitted, as she crossed her legs. "We couldn't find much about her before her marriage to your mother."

"You wouldn't," John shrugged slightly. "My dad isn't the person she was. Not sure how much you know about asari, but when they change stages, their personality can shift dramatically. I remember how nervous she was when mom introduced us. She was a soldier, an asari commando, trying to hold her shit together as she shook hands with a pair of five year old human demons.

But then...then she got pregnant with Kelly and everything changed. It was like a butterfly pulling itself out of a armed and armored cocoon. Her patience increased, she became much warmer and kind. It's hard to describe."

"You...refer to her as him at times," Miranda tilted her head slightly. "You also refer to her as father."

"Yeah?" John looked up at Miranda, puzzlement in his eyes. "Never noticed, but I suppose you're right. Asari aren't really male or female anyway. They are monogendered. They look feminine to a lot of species, so they just kinda roll with it for convenience. Some prefer pronouns from one, the other, none, whatever." John frowned for a moment before shaking his head. "I feel like I've had this conversation with somebody before."

"I actually didn't know that," Miranda smirked slightly. "But I meant your biological father."

With a dramatic sigh, John shook his head slightly. "Yeah, I know what you meant. I was trying to deflect with a combination of humor and information."

"And now?" Miranda teased.

"Ugh…" John turned back to his work with a groan. "He was a merc that my mom met. It was a whirlwind romance. It ended badly after some sort of falling out in his group. From what mom told me, it got dark and she left when she learned she was pregnant with me and Jane."

"You...didn't try to find him?" Miranda asked. Her voice had an intensity that John hadn't heard from her before.

"Nope," John admitted as he closed the omnitools outer casing. "I assume he had his own circumstances. Everybody is a person, a universe of their own. He had his reasons, good or bad. If he wants, he can find me."

"That's...really rather deep…." Miranda's eyes widened with...was that respect?

"Jane though….Jane has always held an axe, just waiting to grind it everytime it got brought up," John chuckled. "Goddess forbid she ever find him."

"Your mother would have her own words for him as well," Doctor Chakwas cut in as she exited the medical bay, wiping her hands on a towel. "I would say that Hannah was a bit bitter, but that would be too much of an understatement."

"Karen," John said as he stood. "How is…?"

"Garrus is fine," Chakwas smirked. "He's a tough bird. Doctor Solas is extremely talented. It was a good thing you brought him. Having an expert on xeno-medicine is probably what saved Garrus's life. Well, that and that nurse he brought with him."

"Nurse?" Miranda had leapt to her feet when Chakwas had come out, and now looked puzzled.

"Ah, yes," Chakwas shrugged. "I suppose it was a bit of a blur." Pausing, Chakwas thought a moment. "Barbara, I think her name was? Yes, that's it. Little human girl. Looks like a stiff breeze could knock her over. Rather deadpan and emotionless. Carried a rather large gun."

"Oh, right," John nodded as he also stood. "I remember her. But Garrus…"

"Garrus is fine," the dual toned voice said from behind Chakwas as the medical door opened, letting the turian out.

John frowned, but couldn't help but notice the wince in Miranda's gaze as they both saw the large bandaging along the right side of Garrus's face. There was also the glimpse of metal cybernetics beneath his plates.

"Solus and Chakwas were telling me that they repurposed some of the stuff they had stuck in you to put my face back on. So I guess that makes us brothers now?" Garrus tilted his head, his left mandible lifting in the turian smile. "Can't wait to take you home to meet mother."

"Ha!" John laughed, shaking his head. "Should be interesting taking you to meet my mother. Dad will have some words as well. Mostly about how you aren't eating enough, and to put on a sweater."

"Heh...ow!" Garrus half laughed before wincing. "Aw spirits, don't make me laugh!"

"Yes. Patient should not be up yet," Doctor Solus said, his voice dripping with disapproval. "Severe head trauma. Medi gel can only do so much. Body needs to heal, even with advanced cybernetics. Truly a marvel, by the way. Looking forward to examining yours in depth Commander."

"Umm….yay?" John squirmed under the scientist's gaze. "But, before that...maybe you should check the lab we have set up. See if there is anything else you need?"

"Ah! Yes!" Solus smirked. "Lab, should be interesting. Working on a ship should be interesting. Been a while since project this important. Interested in resources. Will send list to the XO when I finish stock check."

"Looking forward to it…" Miranda said apprehensively. "Well...I was just curious if Archangel was still to be useful. Now that I see he is not too badly damaged, I'll be in my office."

Garrus raised an eye plate as he looked at John. "I looked at the schematics of the ship when I had a moment. I'm going to look at the main battery. I know of a project that we might be able to take advantage of. Give us a bigger bite."

John shook his head for a moment before stepping in line beside Garrus as the turian made his way to the forward battery. "Don't let Miranda's attitude fool you. She was pretty torn up by you getting your face shot off. 'I'm not a damsel that needs rescuing' were her exact words."

"Ugh…" Garrus grunted as he opened the battery door and stepped inside, closing it after John followed. "Seemed like a good idea at the time. Might not have done it if I had known she was Cerberus."

With a snort, John leaned back against the wall as Garrus began to look over the ship's main guns. "Yes, you would have. You were always a sucker for pretty girls."

"Got me there," Garrus chuckled, then winced again. "It's the real reason I jumped in front of a missile. I was getting tired of all the ladies throwing themselves at me. Thought maybe you should have a shot at some of them."

"Really now," John laughed while shaking his head. "I do pretty good."

"Right," Garrus paused to look back. "You didn't even know who you liked on the old ship. Everybody else knew. But you didn't."

"Okay, look," John said with exasperation. "I don't know why everybody thought I was with Liara, but apparently it even made it into that stupid Blasto movie. She and I were just friends!"

Slowly, Garrus turned to look at John fully. "Shepard…." he began, his voice was surprisingly intense. "I'm talking about how you feel about Tali."

Garrus Vakarian

"Well….that could have gone better," Garrus sighed to himself. His simple statement had devolved into a short, yet loud argument. The Shepard stormed out, yelling something about robbing cradles.

Normally it wasn't something Garrus would involve himself in, but he had watched the two idiots pine over each other while on the original Normandy. He had seen the sadness in Shepard's eyes when he mentioned how Tali was going to leave the ship. He had heard the pain in Tali's voice when she said she was going to stay.

Ha had also seen how Shepard's death had nearly destroyed the quarian girl. Garrus would be damned if he let anything like that happen again. Not on his watch!

To: Tali'Zorah vas Neema

From: Blue_Boshtet

Subject: Contact

Alright. As per our agreement, I changed my infonet handle. I hope you're happy.

Anyway. Found our errant boy. He got me blown up, but it's kinda part of the package. You weren't kidding about the Cerberus thing, but I gotta tell you, they built one hell of new Normandy. You are probably going to blow a suit seal when you see it.

I'll keep an eye on Shepard while you finish up what you need, and can join us.

I know you can't say what you are doing, but be careful. Shepard needs you, and I can't watch him by myself, you know how he is.

Oh, fair warning. Joker is here. So is Gerald.

Blue Boshtet

Tali'Zorah, Neema

With a warm smile, Tali closed her omnitool and sat back on her small sleeping mat. It was good to know Shepard had some people he could actually trust with him. Even if Gerald was one of them.

"Ugh…" Tali couldn't help but let out a quiet groan. He was probably going to badger her about playing Galaxy of Fantasy again. Well, there are worse pastimes, she mentally shrugged as she stood and tidied her small bunk.

"Hey, Tali, you ready to go?" Xera popped her helmet into the sleeping area Tali shared with 9 other quarians. Several of whom groaned and cursed Xera for waking them.

"YEAH, LET'S GET GOING, TALI," Xera nearly yelled. "WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR THE MISSION BRIEFING!"

"Shut up!' "Ancestors strike you down!" "Det kazuat!"

"Okay, Xera," Tali snerked, trying to keep her laughter in. "Let's leave the poor people alone. They need rest too."

"Beh," Xera, snorted, making a rude gesture with her metal hand, before allowing herself to be pushed along by her best friend. "Oh! Hey! Did you see? I got the casing put on the arm! It's not a weird skeleton thing anymore!"

Letting her laughter out now, Tali shook her head. "I hadn't seen it, but it looks good." And it actually did. The odd shiney components that had made up the structure and servos of the arm were now concealed in a housing of marine red. In fact, it almost looked like a normal arm, except for the joints. "Didn't put a sleeve over it?"

Xera shrugged as she wiggled the three fingers on her hand. "Nah, it would just be more suit that could get a puncture and let something in. Last thing I need right now."

"True," Tali nodded sagely. "It would make going to the observation deck with Kal'Reeger kinda awkward, if you were sniffling."

"Oh for the love of…" Xera shook her head as she punched Tali on the arm. Kinda hard, actually… " I am not on the Path with Kal. He and I are just good friends. My Path is hopeless and I know it. Besides. The word around the Fleet is that you are the one on the Path with Kal."

Tali froze then, with shock. She slowly shook her head as words tried to come out, but they just couldn;t. The idea of being alone...of not being with the one her soul yearned for her crushed her heart so hard that she couldn't breath.

"Tali?" Xera asked when she realized that her friend had stopped, and turned. "Oh, ancestors! I'm sorry! I didn't mean...I was just teasing you back! Tali?"

Holding up a hand Tali took a slow deep breath before laying her hand gently on Xera's arm. "No...I know," Tali swallowed, slowly opening her eyes. "It's nothing, Xera."

"Nothing my ass!" Xera growled. "I can't even begin to understand how hard it is for you right now. It's...it's getting harder, isn;t it?"

"I…" Tali looked down before nodding. "Yes...I don't know how long I can be without him. My soul hurts so much Xera! I..I think I'm...I think I might...:"

"Hecs'tiyl," Xera said quietly as Tali nodded. "You are a much stronger woman than me, Tali. I don't think my soul would last."

"Heh," Tali stood fully and ran her hands along her realk, smoothing out the lines. "You can Xera. Because knowing I will be able to be by his side gives me the strength. Even if I won't be able to have the full bonding, just being there will be enough for me."

For a moment Xera stood there, in front of Tali, looking up into her eyes. "You should tell him, Tali. If he's anything like what you have said. If he's anything like what I have seen, he will understand."

"I...No," Tal;i shook her head violently. "There is no way...What if..what if it disgusts him! I'm just a filthy quarian! To have somebody like me say…AH!"

Tali's words were cut off as Xera's hand smacked into the side of her helmet, stunning her for a moment. Then, with wide eyes she slowly looked back to Xera as the smaller quarian trembled with barely contained anger.

"Don't you dare say that!" Xera snarled, taking half a step forward and roughly grabbing Tali's realk, pulling her down to Xera's eye level. "You are perfect, Tali. You are the best engineer. You are the kindest person. You are perfect. He knows that. I've seen him look at you. I know it isn't my place, by I am not going to stand here and listen to you say things like that about yourself."

Then Xera pushed Tali back, releasing her realk and turning away. "Now, come on. We have one last mission to do before we can go meet up with Shepard."

For a moment, Tali stood blinking away tears. Xera was right as usual. Shepard wasn't the kind of man that would mock her. He wouldn't drive her away. He was always understanding. He would listen, then he would let her down gently. It would be enough. It had to be. It was all she had.

"Wait…" Tali jogged lightly to catch up with Xera. "You said we were meeting up with Shepard?"

"Of course!" Xera laughed lightly. "I'm not going to let you go along and fuck it all up! You are great with engines, but you are shit when it comes to people."

"Xera!"

"Ha ha!"

Quarian Lexicon

Det kazuat: Term of curse, considered especially crude. Literal Translation: Living sack of excrement. The Otquer, a large predatory lizard, will pass its meal neatly wrapped in a membranous tissue. Inside the sack, the enzymes used to break down the meat of the prey while still in the lizard continue to act as a stimulant keeping the indigestible brain synapses of its last meal still working until the sun dries the sack out.

Hecs'tiyl: Term of courtship. Literal translation: Pathway to the heart. Second of three: Signifying the period where the needs of both begin to overrule the needs of self. Almost always leads to bonding though this phase is usually the longest of the three.

Realk: Cloth covering used by the quarians. It is used to describe not just the hood seen on most but any material adornment.