A/N: First of all, thank you for your kind reviews :) Secondly, the next chapter after this is a tiny bit darker and not as funny as the previous ones. Also, Fornell is probably my favorite character.
Penelope Shepard loved long weekends alone. They were rare and sacred, and she would savor every single minute of the time she would get in the house all by herself. She had inherited one half of the house from her father and Jenny had gotten the other half and since affordable housing in D.C. was hard to find, they had decided to stay together. Even if it wasn't always apparent to everyone else, Penny generally enjoyed living with her sister. As dysfunctional and divergent as they might appear to the people around them, they did in fact complement each other pretty well, once you took a closer look.
It wasn't uncommon that they would be at each other's throats at work, when Jenny felt the need to exercise her professional authority, but then curl up together on the couch after hours to eat an entire tub of Ben&Jerry's, drink a bottle of wine and yell at TV detectives for not wearing gloves at fictional crime scenes. Lately however, most of their evenings had either been interrupted by the sudden and unannounced appearance of one Leroy Jethro Gibbs, who would regularly and shamelessly let himself in and then disappear with Jenny for the rest of the night, or by lengthy, alcohol induced discussions about said monosyllabic man's ulterior motives.
Ever since her girlfriend had broken up with her, Penny had, however, found a little comfort and entertainment in the fact that Gibbs' nightly visits seemed to indicate that at least one of them had an active sex life; even if she would probably never truly understand the dynamic between her hotheaded sister and her brooding object of desire. Their relationship, if you could even call it that, was defined by the two opposite ends of a very passionate spectrum, it seemed. They were always shouting at each other – in one way or the other and as much as Penny enjoyed drinking coffee with Gibbs in awkward silence after yet another noisy night, she just wanted them to finally get their shit together.
So therefore, she most definitely did not complain about the fact that Jenny had to spend the entire weekend at a security conference in Seattle and Gibbs would remain in his basement for the time being. The only possible thing that could now disturb her precious me-time was a call from work, but she simply prayed to whatever god was listening that all potential felons would also decide to start committing crimes back on Monday.
Things were looking good for her despite the minor inconvenience of her broken heating in the middle of November. The goddamn thing was old and had chosen that Saturday of all days to finally turn off for good. A call to the only repair shop in her area specialized in that exact system had ended with her annoyingly accepting the earliest appointment they could give her on Tuesday and the day spent wrapped in her grandma's old patchwork blanket. It wasn't too cold, yet, and the fireplace in the study gave off enough heat downstairs for Penny to decide that this wouldn't ruin her plans. If worst came to worst, she would just sleep there.
Besides, she was already stretched out on the thick carpet in front of the crackling flames, anyways, a steaming hot mug of tea in front of her and the book she never had had the time to read in her hands. As she was licking her index finger to turn the next page, she registered a sudden flicker in the corner of her eyes and turned her head. From her position on the floor she had a good view through the open study door and into the dark hallway and found that the flicker had been the automatic porch light that now cast a dim light though the thick glass of her front door. She groaned and put the book down. If that was her obnoxious neighbor again, complaining about the fact that her car was extending out too much onto the sidewalk, she would throw a fit. Technically, he was right, but their driveway was just the tiniest bit too small for both her and Jenny's car and the goddamn three inches her trunk stuck out on the street didn't fucking hurt anybody.
Penny pushed herself off the floor and stretched before getting up and walking towards the front door, already half prepared to arrest Mr. Lewis for harassment. Just as she was about to reach the entrance, the bell rang, and to her surprise, she saw two silhouettes through the glass.
"For the hundredth time, Mr. Lewis, I can and will not move my car –" she started, pulling the door open forcefully. She stopped midsentence, though, because she wasn't looking at her neighbor but at two very familiar faces, grinning back at her.
"Little Shepard!" Special Agent Tobias Fornell gleamed at her, mischief already sparking in his eyes, his arms outstretched, "wow, you look like a homeless person, did you even shower today?" he added, looking her up and down.
"And you look like an old raisin, Fornell," she shot back, "what the fuck are you two doing here?!"
Next to Fornell, Gibbs shifted and started to already push himself past her into the house. She blocked his way.
"Jen isn't here," Penny explained and moved her foot to barricade the door. She looked at the men in front of her and only then noticed that each of them had a small duffle bag thrown over his shoulder. This wasn't happening.
"We need a place to stay for a few nights," Fornell explained, nodding his head at Gibbs and then at her.
"Last time I checked neither of you was homeless," Penny said, one hand on the door, the other against the frame, still blocking Gibbs' efforts to silently walk past her.
"I have termites," Tobias continued and before he could go on further, Gibbs grumbled, "and he brought them to my place."
"Sucks to be you, I guess," she answered and moved to close the door in their faces, "I hear D.C. has excellent hotels. What's the name of the one Tony's dad always stays in? Maybe give him a call and he can get you a discount."
Gibbs took a step forward and pushed the door open towards her again, glaring at her. She closed her eyes in annoyance and opened her mouth to tell them 'No' again but before she could form the word, another voice broke through the night, "Miss Shepard! There are regulations! This is not a public parking lot!"
They all turned their heads towards the voice and Penny was about to whimper in despair. Mr. Lewis from next door was slowly approaching them, dressed in what looked like his pajamas and a bathrobe. He was heavily gesturing at Gibb's truck that he had parked right next to Penny's sedan and that was clearly reaching even further into the sidewalk.
"If this continues, you leave me no choice but to call in law enforcement!" Mr. Lewis yelled and approached them.
"Law enforcement is already here, Sir," Fornell chimed in and pulled his badge from his jean's pocket, "we were just informing Miss Shepard here, to adhere to road regulations and to respect her rightfully concerned neighbors. The FBI takes that very seriously."
"You're fucking kidding me," Penny mumbled under her breath and Gibbs used her moment of inattentiveness to push her to the side with his body and strut into her hallway like he owned the place, throwing his bag onto the floor and vanishing into the kitchen. He didn't even bother to take his shoes off.
On top of that, Mr. Lewis was still frowning at her, obviously still not entirely satisfied.
"You know, agent –"
"Fornell"
"Agent Fornell. This has been an issue for the past year. I am usually not someone to endorse punishment but since it has been such an inconvenience for me and my wife, I clearly see a reason to impose a fine"
"Most definitely, Sir," Fornell agreed with a stern voice, the corners of his mouth twitching as he tried to hide a grin.
Before either of them could say another word, Penny decided to put an end to this nonsense and pushed past Fornell and towards her neighbor.
"This is ridiculous," she started, also gesturing to the cars parked in her driveway, "Mr. Lewis, do you really believe that the FBI has nothing better to do than to impose fines on people for parking their cars three inched out of their driveway? If so, you are clearly mistaken. Also, if you don't stop tormenting me with this nitpicking every second day, I will charge you with harassment of a federal officer! And now, please, get off my porch!"
Mr. Lewis gawked at her, seemingly very outraged but also too scared to test her. He pulled the belt of his rope tight around his middle and moved back towards his own house, however, not without yelling back at her "My taxes pay your salary!".
"For the love of god," Penny sighed under her breath and watched him until he vanished into his home, making a mental note to herself to have Jenny deal with him once she got back. She was way better at diplomatically resolving these issued than Penny was.
Speaking of issues, Penny turned around to also kick Fornell off her porch, only to realize that he had used his chance and snuck into the house after Gibbs while she was yelling at Mr. Lewis. She let her head fall back into her neck and raised her eyes to the night sky, groaning in annoyance. So much for her weekend alone.
When Jennifer Shepard arrived at her home that late Saturday evening, she was tired and exhausted. The security conference had been long and incredibly tedious. Additionally, the massive accumulation of toxic masculinity of the other agency directors and politicians had made her want to shoot at least a dozen of them but all she could do was put on a fake smile and duck away from wandering hands. She was tired and she was done for the rest of the weekend and it was probably accounted to that overworked tiredness that she didn't even notice the familiar truck parked in her driveway, when her driver opened the car door for her.
She wished her security detail a goodnight and gave them the rest of the weekend off, before walking up the stairs to the front door, her briefcase lazily hanging from one shoulder. While fumbling for her keys in her coat pocket, she noticed the light in the hallway and was relieved that her sister seemed to be home. Jenny really hoped, she could convince Penny to cook her a late-night dinner. Her baby sister was a much better cook than she would ever be and would sometimes take pity on her and make sure she wouldn't starve.
Jenny thought about maybe taking a long hot bath before dropping dead into her bed and was already excited for a quiet and peaceful night.
When she opened the door, she was greeted by the delightful scent of fresh garlic and tomatoes and thanked heaven for the fact that at least one of them had inherited their grandmother's culinary talents.
"Nelly?" she called, her heels clicking on the marble tiles as she walked through the hall, shrugging off her coat and dropping her bag onto the antique side table. She was the only person that was allowed to call her sister by that nickname, and she liked the affection that it implied, especially since she would mostly use it when they were alone.
A moment later, her sister appeared in the kitchen door, a surprised expression on her face. Her red hair was messily tied up on her head and she was dressed in her favorite pair of soft black leggings and an oversized navy cashmere sweater Jenny recognized as her own.
"What are you already doing here?" Penny asked, pulling the kitchen door closed behind her back and shooting a concerned look towards the basement stairs.
"I told you, I would be back Saturday night," Jenny answered, kicking off her heels and approaching Penny, yawning.
"You said Sunday," the latter replied and walked towards her, blocking her path to the kitchen.
"No. I definitely said Saturday. Why are you acting so weird?" she tried to walk past Penny, but she always took a step in the same direction, making it impossible for Jenny to pass her. A sudden rumble from the basement then caught her attention and a slight panic flashed in Penny's eyes. Jenny was getting confused and increasingly impatient but before she could turn to investigate the noise, Penny grabbed her by the shoulders and looked at her very seriously, "Whatever happens in the next few minutes, I want you to remember that you love me very much."
"What did you do?" Jenny arched an eyebrow suspiciously, shrugged her sisters hands off her shoulders and walked towards the basement door, reaching for the handle.
However, before Penny had the chance to explain the situation, the basement door flew open and a large male body in a horribly orange sweater almost knocked her over. She recognized the sweater before she recognized the insufferably handsome lumberjack wearing it. He caught her around the waist like he was some fucking knight in shining armor and thought she couldn't stay upright on her own and completely ignored her attempt to wriggle out of his grip.
"Pen, you gave me the wrong screwdriver," he announced and pressed a light kiss to Jenny's temple before letting her go, "that's a flat head, I need a Philipp's". He handed Penny the bad screwdriver and leaned against the doorframe, his eyes on the older sister, "'thought you'd be gone 'til Sunday?"
Jenny stared at him, torn between utter bewilderment about his presence and simple outrage. Their last encounter had ended with him smashing her office door closed like a petulant child and there he was now, standing in her hallway as if nothing had ever happened, apparently back at fixing random things around her house. He even had the nerve to grin at her and reach out to let a strand of her hair slide through his fingers, before gently placing it behind her ear. For a moment she was too distracted by the feeling of his touch to yell at him but as soon as she caught herself, she swatted his hand away and opened her mouth to demand an explanation for this absurd situation.
Yet, it was before she could even form the words, that the next door opened with so much force that it banged against the wall behind it. To her horror, Tobias Fornell appeared from the kitchen, their kitchen apron hanging from his neck. He had a wooden cooking spoon laced with sauce in one of his hands and pointed it at Penny, "I really think this needs more seasoning, taste it!"
"Oh, hey Jenny," he added, confidently using her first name instead of her title, when he realized that she was also standing in the hall, "we didn't expect you back 'til Sunday".
Jenny, her mouth still open with lost words, looked at the scene in front of her. She closed her eyes for a second, thinking this might all just be a bad dream but realized that she must be awake when they were all still there as she opened them again.
"We?!" she forced out, looking back and forth between Gibbs, Fornell and her sister. What was this? Some weird slumber party with grumpy old men?
"What – Why –" Jenny stammered, not able to form a coherent sentence. She pressed a hand to the side of her head, a sudden headache shooting through her temple. This wasn't happening. How was this happening? All she wanted was a quiet night to wind down after the exhausting weekend she'd had. Was that too much to ask?
"Is she having a stroke?" she heard Penny whisper with a concerned frown on her face, her head angled at Gibbs.
"Jen? Are you having a stroke? Can you put both your arms up?"
"Nah, she's fine," Jethro said and reached out to take her face in both of his hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks, "about to yell, though". He drew her closer and placed a soft kiss to her lips, the corners of his mouth twitching with his grin.
That was what made her snap out of her stupor.
"JETHRO?! AM I A FUCKING JOKE TO YOU?!" She pushed him away forcefully and angrily pointed a finger between all three of them.
"What is this?!" Jenny now focused on Penny again who looked very guilty, one of her hands anxiously rubbing at her neck.
"Look, I didn't –" she started, but Jenny immediately interrupted her again,
"I leave this house for five fucking minutes and you decide to invite over these two clowns to have a sleepover with?!"
"Rude," Fornell chimed in but she ignored him.
"All I wanted was one goddamn night in peace and what do I get? This one," she pointed at Jethro, "poking his fucking screwdriver at things that don't need fixing –"
"Actually, the heating –" Penny tried but then stopped again when she saw the look in her sister's eyes.
"And this one," Jenny continued, focusing her attack on Fornell now, "looking like the ugly old man version of Martha Steward, dripping sauce all over my tiles!"
"I am a bit offended right now. I see myself more like the Gordon Ramsay type, actually" Fornell said to Gibbs, checking if he actually dripped sauce onto the floor.
"Jen –" Jethro started again, carefully approaching her, his hands held up in defense.
"No!" Jenny kept on yelling, "No! You do not get to waltz into this house like you own it and ambush me like this."
She saw Penny shift towards her hesitantly, and she knew that she was maybe a little overreacting, but lack of sleep combined with an empty stomach usually tended to make her less patient with Jethro's nonsense.
"Jenny," Penny started and this time she let her finish, "I know, I should've called but we really thought you wouldn't be back until tomorrow. Now, since Jethro fixed our broken heating and FBI Agent Dumbass over there is actually a pretty decent cook, why don't you calm down, have a hot shower and come have pasta puttanesca with us afterwards? How does that sound?"
Jenny considered her for a moment, the angry frown on her forehead relaxing just a little bit. She knew that even while they were constantly fighting, Jethro knew that she would always have his back and help him out without him having too ask. Needless to say, she would have appreciated a warning, but she had to admit, reluctantly, that Penny was right, she should take a shower and try to relax. It didn't seem like Jethro and his obnoxious sidekick were leaving anytime soon.
"Fine," Jenny gave in and she couldn't help a little smile play around her lips when she heard her sister sigh in relief.
Obviously deeming it safe to move, Penny eventually took the cooking spoon from Fornell and put it in her mouth, tasting the sauce and then shaking her head at him.
"Yeah, you're right. This needs salt. And probably more thyme," she concluded. With another final look at Jenny, she ushered Fornell back into the kitchen with the spoon, following him inside. She could hear them bicker about the right amount of seasoning just moments later.
Jenny shook her head in amusement and drew a hand through her hair, untangling the ends with her fingers, tilting her head at Jethro. He was watching her carefully, his eyes boring into her hers. He reached out again and took her hand in his, interlacing his fingers with hers, his thumb stroking the inside of her wrist.
"If it makes you feel any better," he said, "you were only second choice. DiNozzo wasn't home."
"Liar," she grinned and playfully pushed his shoulder with her free hand.
"Yeah," he laughed and grinned back at her, pulling her closer by her hand.
"About that shower …" he trailed off, one of his eyebrows raised suggestively. She let go of his hand and raised her arms to his neck, locking her hands behind it and lifting herself up on her tiptoes, "Will you apologize for disrespecting me by smashing my office door and ambushing me in my own home?" she asked sweetly.
"Whatever you want, Jen," he answered sincerely, and leaned down to kiss her on the mouth, his arms wrapping around her, holding her to him.
She was just starting to finally calm down after the stressful events of the past few minutes, allowing herself to get lost in the comfort of his touch, when Penny's head reappeared from the kitchen, interrupting them,
"Oh, I almost forgot," she said a grin spread across her face,
"Mr. Lewis might sue us. Could you deal with that tomorrow?" she pulled her head back out of view and Jenny turned back to Jethro, who just shrugged. She did the same and took his hand back into hers, pulling him with her towards the stairs. Whatever it was, she decided, she could still deal with it later. Right now, she would finally enjoy the hot shower she very well deserved, and, since he was already there, the best stress reliever around.