-Logan -

My bags are already by the door. Three days—four if you count living through today—and I am gone. Out of here. Vamoose. Sayonara. Don't let the door catch my ass. Plane leaves Friday at 9:00 p.m. to take me all the way across the country and away from this lunatic house.

Part of me feels bad to leave my mom with Aaron but really, she's part of the problem too. He hasn't beaten me in a year, but it's been no thanks to her. Put on a little more bulk lifting weights at the gym and got the upper hand on him the last time he tried. Threatened to break that movie star nose of his next time he tried and now he leaves me alone. At least he leaves my mom alone, physically anyway. Mentally is another matter.

When we were sixteen, the whole Union Ceremony was explained to us in class and we all filled out our forms for Orwell soon after. That's when I realized that my mom could have stopped this all just by threatening to leave him. One mention of abuse to the government and she would have been granted an instant divorce. But she didn't. She won't. And the one time I tried to report him to a teacher in sixth grade, the teacher disappeared and we moved to Neptune that summer. The government says that every person is taken care of now. The problem is that humans are still humans, motivated by the same things: greed, lust, success. I once asked Lilly to look up what happened to the teacher I reported it to, when Lilly was up in Canada using their resources. She said the woman was made the principal of a school in the northern region. That was greed and success. Wouldn't be surprised if Aaron slept with her too for good measure.

I roll over and glance at the clock. Almost 10:00 a.m. Wonder how much longer I can lay in bed before anyone notices? Plans for the day include a shower and a tug, then get dressed and head over to Duncan's to help him pack since he still can't decide what to bring with him to college. The downside to polyamory is three parents hovering over you. Duncan didn't tie his own shoelaces until he was ten. The decision as to what sweaters to bring across the country is killing him.

Need to remember to swing by Veronica's today as well. It's her birthday and she was going to find out who she was partnered with today. Figured a bottle of champagne and flowers were a fitting gift for today.

I gotta say, I'm really curious about who she'll be partnered with—have been for a while now. Veronica is this strange combination of someone who is very naive and still super smart. Book smart, I guess. If it wasn't for Lilly's influence, I'm pretty sure she would have never tried the few vices we've convinced her to over the years. A little bit of pot. A little bit of alcohol. But when we all decided to go skinny dipping one night on a deserted stretch of beach, she stayed on the shore. Even Duncan got in with his underwear on. She likes to think of herself as very open minded, but she has a prudish streak. Which is why when Lilly and I were fooling around, we kept it a secret (and truthfully, it made it even hotter.)

Who am I kidding? I'm really going over to Duncan's so I can be there when it's announced that Veronica has been paired with him. Duncan Kane, that's who my money's on. I can just see both of them working together, side by side, to make this world a Better Place™.

I mean, I kind of want to make this country better, which is probably why Orwell put me on a political path, but I'm not so overt about it. Subvert from within is my style. Duncan and Veronica always made a big deal about the clubs and volunteer organizations they belonged to in high school. Meanwhile, every Wednesday night, I quietly went over to the veteran's hospital and read to the old guys or listened to their stories about life before the war. My mother once pointed out it was Aaron who likes to make a big deal about helping others, while she preferred a quieter approach. I tend to agree with her.

Duncan's a pretty lucky guy. Veronica is smart and hot, a winning combination in my books. Guess I'll have to take her out of the tug rotation once she's partnered. Lilly is still fun to think about, especially when I throw Sabrina in the imaginary mix, but Veronica's going to be married to my best friend so will definitely be off limits. Eventually. Maybe one more round of fantasy sex in the shower this morning, before that happens. Scenario Veronica-B2: that's the one where she steps into my shower in that pink bikini she borrowed from Lilly one day at the beach. The way it rode up in the back just enough to show the beautiful curve of her ass. She kept trying to pull it down but every time, it just rode up, so eventually, she just left it.

Fuck. And just like that, I'm hard. Guess it's time for that shower…

Just as I'm sitting up, I hear the doorbell ring. Kind of early in the day for someone so probably some sort of delivery for my parents. Stretching, I yawn and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Wonder how long it will take before my tan fades?

My mom calls out my name, high and excited, although muffled past the door, and I frown at my reflection.

"LOGAN!"

Again and now footsteps coming from two directions. Grabbing the blankets, I cover my boner, keeping my eyes on the door.

She doesn't even bother to knock, bursting in and nearly tripping on her four-inch heels. Aaron is right behind her, looking angry and confused.

"What are you yelling about, Lynn?"

"This!"

My mother raises a shaky hand containing a blue and green envelope with the official Government seal embossed on the front.

It's a match. For a second, I can't move. I turned eighteen in March and from that point, I've been waiting to hear who I've been paired with. Guess today must be the day.

"Give that to me." Aaron reaches out and snatches the envelope from my mother. Before she can argue, he steps into my room, sneering at me as he approaches. "Well, well. Looks like we're about to see what boy our son got placed with."

I try not to roll my eyes. Aaron plays the supporter of all genders and pairings in the limelight. Behind the scenes, he's still an old fashioned bigot. Mercifully, school has taught this generation better than his.

He waves the envelope closer and I grab it, keeping my eyes on his. The twinkle in his eye tells me he's amused by my reflexes, probably taking credit for them by keeping me on edge for most of my life.

Glancing at the document in my hands, I flip it over and read my name, hand-written with my address. It's crazy to think that my life will change in this instant based on what is on a piece of paper. But during the war, millions of people woke up on the edge of the eastern zone one day and went to work, never knowing that at 11:30 a.m., their lives were going to be obliterated by a nuclear bomb. Shit changes in the blink of an eye all the time, why should I be immune?

"Open it, Logan." My mom sits on the edge of the bed and leans over, placing her hand on my shoulder.

Taking a cleansing breath, I flip over the envelope and slide my finger under the seal, opening the flap. Pulling the white piece of paper out, I unfold it, surprised at the amount of words in the letter. Scanning quickly, I find the name…

"Veronica. Mars."

My stomach tightens and for a second, I think I may throw up on Aaron's shoes.

"Oh my god!" My mother gasps. "Keith Mars' daughter."

Aaron's chuckle starts small and I'm not sure if it's good or bad until he slaps me happily on the shoulder.

"You son of a bitch, you lucked out, Logan." Aaron continues to laugh, puffing up his chest. "Do you know what this means? Our family is now connected to the man in charge of the Safety System! This is fantastic! One of the most powerful men in the Western Region is now going to be family."

My mind is turning faster than it's ever moved trying to comprehend it all. Not Duncan. Me. Veronica Mars was paired with me. Logan Echolls and Veronica Mars. Forever.

"Fuck."

I go limp and drop back onto the bed and stare at the white ceiling, trying to make sense of it all. Why would she get paired with me? We're totally different people. There was no way this would work. But somehow, it's supposed to…

The phone rings and Aaron claps his hands. "Ah! Maybe that's the Mars family now?" He nearly skips out of my room and relief rushes over me, momentarily disrupting the numbness.

"Logan? Are you okay with this?" My mom places her hand gently on my chest. I can smell alcohol on her already and wonder if it was in her coffee or orange juice.

"Am I okay with this?"

Aaron lets out a boisterous laugh from the other room and I know he's probably talking to Veronica's dad. The sound of his tone as his voice drops is the same one he uses for voice overs of his documentaries.

I close my eyes. Veronica in braids and her soccer uniform, covered in dirt, bounding up to me after a game. Veronica trying to control her emotions during debate club, but unable to hold back the fire in her eyes as she looks at me, her opponent, with silent rage. Veronica laughing until she has the hiccups when I start doing my impression of Ms. Shultz, our uptight algebra teacher.

Then there's Veronica, the one from my fantasies. The role she plays in my head, not of my partner, but only as a lover. My heart aches as I realize the girl I have lusted over in my mind is about to become my partner in life and for some reason, all the dirty things I've ever thought about her make me ashamed.

"I'm...I'm fine with this, mom."

Opening my eyes, I see her smile down at me. She pats my arm and rises.

"Good. Then I'll let you get dressed for the day."

I nod and she leaves, closing the door and blocking out Aaron's voice completely. Staying in place, I continue to stare at the ceiling, controlling my breathing as I focus my eyes on the bumpy stucco.

That's when it comes. The terrible thought.

What if she doesn't want me?