-Veronica -

I know it's Lilly. The phone rings again and my hand shakes over the receiver. I put her off once today and I know she'll probably be pissed, but I just needed time. Guess my time's up now.

"Hello?"

"Ver-on-I-cahhhh!" Lilly coos. "Happy birthday, best friend! So...what's new?"

Ugh. The tone of Lilly's voice and the fact that she isn't giving me shit for not calling means she knows. I imagine her dramatically flipping her long blond hair as she prepares to slowly torture me in the way that only best friends could.

Now the real question at hand...did she find out from Logan? Or Duncan? Or did her mom's gossip channels really move that fast?

"Oh, you know. This and that."

"This and that, huh?"

She seems satisfied to play this game for a moment or two, so I go on.

"Yep. Packing for college. Cleaning my room…"

Neither of which is true. In fact, I was just lying on my bed in a makeshift nest between all the scattered clothes, absently staring at the ceiling, trying to process everything as the bubbles from the two glasses of champagne still tickle my brain.

"Well, how nice. A little advice? When you're packing, be sure to pack that pink bikini I gave you. I'm sure Logan will love to see you in it again."

And there it is.

"Thanks for the advice, Lilly. Since you slept with him, I guess you'd know what he likes best." The snark in my voice surprises me, but I don't take it back.

Lilly just laughs. "He told me he told you."

"I was wondering how you found out."

"Well, I thought I would find out from my best friend, but instead, I had to chase down an ex just to learn that you had been matched."

Ouch. There's the anger I was initially expecting. I shove some clothes off my bed so I can roll onto my stomach and prop myself up on my elbows.

"I'm sorry, Lilly. It was all just a lot to process. I mean, this is Logan. He's the last person in the world I thought I would be compatible with."

"You're not overthinking this, are you?"

I bite my lip. She knew me too well.

"Shouldn't I be? I always thought I would be paired with someone smart and conservative, someone driven and serious…."

"Boring! You thought you would get someone boring. Like Duncan."

I mean, she wasn't wrong.

"Maybe."

"Well, Logan is definitely not boring, inside the bedroom or out."

I wince. Here it comes. The thought that has slipped in and out of my head since Logan left. What exactly happened between Logan and Lilly?

"Really, Lilly? If he was so great, then why didn't you ever tell me about him?"

She makes a gagging sound. "Oh 'Ronica. Jealous is not a good look on you."

"Wait? What?! Jealous of what?"

"I don't know. Jealous of Logan and me? Jealous that I had something and you didn't?"

"You're out of your mind, Lilly." I flip back around and sit up, raring for a fight. "I'm not jealous. I'm confused and hurt that two of my friends didn't think I would understand that they had a relationship. I'm mad that I had to find out this way. And I'm upset that I'm going into this union with my partner already more experienced than me!"

I take a breath to try and control my anger, but find myself vibrating nonetheless as I continue, trying to form coherent thoughts.

"Lilly, I always imagined that when I got to know my partner that we would be strangers but we would learn about each other and laugh and talk and figure all that out together and that's what would solidify our bond. With Logan, I don't have that. I know him already. But he also knows you in a way different way than just knowing someone as a friend. And there's something about it that is just so incongruent with what I always imagined this would be like that I just don't know what to do. You know?"

There's a soft sigh on the other end of the phone and I feel like Lilly is gearing up to 'big-sister' me with one of her lectures. The downfall to being one year younger than my best friend.

"Veronica, I am sorry that it didn't turn out the way you thought it would, but please don't let my relationship with Logan be a hindrance to your union. I want you to have the experience of learning all about Logan, just like you said, so all I'll say is that there is so much more to him than what you saw at school. I could go on about how and why, but that's still for you to discover, so please, don't let go of what could be quite yet. Just be happy that you were paired with someone who I know truly cares about you from the start, okay?"

God, I hate when she's right. Lilly always assumes she was right, even when she's disastrously wrong. Her actually being right makes her incorrigible.

"Okay. I will."

"Okay, you will...what?"

"I will be happy I was paired with Logan. For now."

"That's my girl! Now I promised Logan I wouldn't talk about it but whatever…" she pauses for dramatic effect, letting out a deep sigh and I roll my eyes safe in the knowledge she can't see me. "...so what's with this plan not to have sex with him?"

"I...wait...is that what he said?" My blood pressure spikes like I'm an old lady on a treadmill. "Because he's the one that said we could have a chaste relationship."

"So you do want to have sex with him."

The memory of Logan making fun of my pink unicorn t-shirt at school last year floats through my head. Logan putting Duncan in a headlock and making him admit he's seen his sister naked. Logan giving Dick a joint after he took Logan's "dare" and lit his fart on fire outside in the quad during lunch.

"I...don't know...maybe?"

"Pfft. What kind of answer is that?"

"The answer of someone who's watched him be the school jackass most of his life."

Another deep sigh from Lilly. "Veronica...he's so much more than that."

"I'm sure he is, Lilly, but right now, I just want to take it slow and if he's offering that, then I'm accepting. I mean, really, we're stuck together for life, so it's not like we can leave."

"Well, you can, you know."

My face contorts. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, there are ways," she starts slowly, hesitantly. "You can cheat and get an automatic divorce. You can lie and tell the authorities he hit you. Or you can just leave and go to Canada or Mexico and let him divorce you."

"But...I…who does that?"

"Some people, Veronica. Some people do." She pauses and I wonder what is going on with her and Sabrina. "But the government covers it up. That's why the therapy...to try and save their numbers and make it seem like Orwell is perfect."

I don't know how to respond with anything more than silence.

"So if it is truly terrible for you at some point, there are ways to quietly get out. I only say that, though, just in case."

"In case...?"

"In case he turns out to be more like Aaron than Lynn. I love you, Veronica, and that is the only reason I'm saying this now."

Wait...what? More like Aaron, how? Whenever I encountered the Echolls in their home, they were always pleasant enough. Today was the first time I ever really noticed an underlying creepiness—an air of dominance—from Aaron, but when I was thinking about it after, I just chalked it up to the strange situation we all found ourselves in.

"Lilly...what are you saying?"

"I can't say anymore more, but I want you to know that the Logan I knew...intimately...was passionate and caring and funny and smart, and I hope that's the Logan you get to know."

I open my mouth to question her, but a knock interrupts and Dad sticks his bald head into the room, grinning. "Hey, birthday girl! When you're done... we're ready to head out to Mama Leone's for a celebratory dinner."

"Okay, Dad, just give me a…"

"...I'll let you go. Happy birthday and good luck at the signing ceremony tomorrow, Veronica! I love you."

The phone disconnects before I can answer and I'm left holding the receiver, staring at it as the dial tone fills the room.

"We'll be waiting for you in the kitchen." My dad nods and closes the door and I'm left alone again.

It takes me a second to regain my senses. If I ever believed that talking to Lilly would make things seem clearer, it was obviously a mistake because now, I'm just more confused. I thought that I was paired with someone I knew.

But maybe I don't know Logan at all.