Veronica
I was able to escape my mother for three glorious hours before I had to get home and get ready for the ceremony. When I woke in the morning, I lay in bed for an extra hour, trying to avoid her exuberance for the day, but as always, my stomach got the better of me, and I had to finally give in and make my way to the kitchen. Dad had gone into the station so he could get some things done before the ceremony, so it was just my mom, sitting at the kitchen island, waiting for me. There was bacon still warm in the oven and fresh scrambled eggs and toast to enjoy as she fussed around me, talking lightly about what a wonderful day it was. She then surprised me by informing me she booked me in for a "full Union Ceremony treatment" at her salon in an hour and that I needed to stuff myself with food as I was scheduled to be occupied for the majority of the day. After I got over my shock at the unexpected luxury, I quickly showered and changed into a pair of tights and a light sweater and grabbed the keys to my mom's car, insisting that she didn't need to come with me.
When I got there, I found out the salon package was a "head-to-toe" procedure, which made me twitchy. I allowed the French manicure, pedicure, and hour-long massage, but there was no way in hell that they were allowed to come anywhere near my legs or nether-regions with hot wax, thank you very much. There was a moment, though, when I sat in the chair and the stylist asked, "what style do you want for your ceremony" that I replied with, "cut it off." That's how I walked out with a neat new bob, with long bangs and soft lines framing my face. My mother looked like she was going to cry when I arrived home without the majority of my hair, and I simply said that a new life required a new hairstyle and proceeded back to my room.
My mother was so shocked by my hair that she never even noticed the bag I was carrying from the lingerie store and when I was alone, I dumped the ten pairs of new underwear I purchased onto the bed. It had been a spur of the moment decision as I passed the store in the mall and remembered my stash of dull underwear. While there wasn't a vast selection, I did find some cute boy-cut pairs in varying colours, a few lace ones, and one thong, just because I had never tried it. Right now, I just enjoyed the idea of wearing them myself, knowing what was underneath it all.
I emerged a little later in the blue dress we purchased at the beginning of the week and light makeup, ready to sign the documents that would partner me with Logan. Since we were apparently going straight to the hotel his father booked after a celebratory dinner, I carried a small purse and my backpack. While I wore the white cotton underwear under my dress, I did choose to pack the black lacy lingerie. My mind still wavered about what Logan would see me in tonight, but at least I was prepared.
Now, once again, my father's grip steadies me as we walk down the hallway to the Union Office as my mom hurries behind us. Gone are the butterflies, though, replaced by a resolve that came to me while I sat in the hairdresser's chair, watching her cut off my long locks. The childish Veronica—the naïve Veronica— is gone. I'm about to be partnered with a man, hopefully for the rest of my life. I'm about to venture out of the security of my home and family and chart a new course in my life, set out for college to fulfill my destiny to become a lawyer and Judge. All of these things will take resolve and focus and courage to accomplish. Signing the papers to join in a union with Logan is just one of the boxes that need to be checked to achieve my goals.
"You don't have to go through with this, you know." My father's voice is so low that I almost don't hear him above the echo of our shoes as we walk down the hall. "I know that I said I would support you no matter what, and if that means we leave now, it's up to you."
"Keith! How can you…?"
His pace slows as he ignores my mother. "I'm serious, Veronica. This is still your choice."
We come to a dead stop just beyond the sight of the office and I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words to reassure my father that my one big choice in life has been made by me.
"Dad, I'll be fine. I'll be more than fine. Logan is a friend, and I know that whatever happens, he will have my best interests at heart, as my friend." I lean over and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. "And, if it ever is not fine, I know I can always come to you."
That's when I see a crack in his emotional armour, a flash of sadness wells up in his eyes before he covers, bending his head, so his service cap shades his face as he kisses my cheek then forces a tight smile.
"Good. Because you know I have access to people who can open the gates of the Southern Radiation zone so…"
"Yes, I know. No evidence. Corpse eaten by toxic waste. I get it."
"That goes for Echolls Senior as well."
"Keith!" My mother smacks his arm, catching the brass shield of his uniform, and she winces. "Those will be our relations soon."
Dad clears his throat, shaking his head. "Lianne, you know I've never been a fan of Aaron's. There's just something about him that sets my nerves on edge."
"Dad, I'll be fine," I reassure him, putting my hand on his for comfort. "Logan and I leave on Friday, and we won't return until Winter Break so I won't even see Mr. Echolls again until Christmas. Everything will be fine."
"I know you will be, Veronica. I know."
With a nod, he resumes his steps towards the office, and I fall into place next to him, right foot left foot in time all the way there.
As we approach, I can see the Echolls family milling about through the glass doors, Logan's back to the hall, but the minute my father opens the door for me, Logan turns, his eyes wide for a moment as he watches me approach. A touch of red catches his cheeks, and he looks down, adjusting the cuff of his blue suit over the crisp white shirt underneath. He doesn't have a tie on and his shirt collar is open just enough so I can catch a glimpse of his tanned collarbone underneath. When I'm a few feet away, he looks up again, greeting me with a soft smile as he runs his fingers through his hair.
"You look beautiful."
The compliment throws me and my cheeks flush. "Thank you. You look pretty great too."
"At least I get one more spin out of my graduation suit before we leave."
He offers his hand, and I place mine in his palm as his fingers curl around. A tingle runs up the length of my arm at his touch, and I momentarily think that if this is as close as we ever get, then I would be happy with this.
"Well, the suit looks good on you. And we kind of match, both of us in blue."
Those deep brown eyes of his skim down my body, and I feel exposed as he takes in everything from my hair to my sandals.
"I guess we do. I like your hair too. It's a great cut. Makes you look like a lawyer already."
"Thanks. That's exactly what I was going for." I laugh, and he smiles the kind of smile that spreads across his entire face, creating deep grooves in his cheeks and a twinkle in his eye.
"Mars and Echolls." We turn and see a woman standing at the "Unions" counter, staring at us through the plexiglass. "We're ready for your appointment."
Aaron claps his hands so loud I jump slightly, and he rubs them gleefully. "Wonderful! Let's get this show on the road, shall we?"
"You seem very excited by this union, Aaron," my father states. "Were you this excited when you married Lynn?"
I know my father is trying to make a joke, but it sounds like he's fishing for information, and I glance between the men, waiting for Aaron's reaction.
Without missing a beat, Aaron wraps his arm around Lynn's shoulder, and they flash bright white grins at everyone. "Why, yes. Marrying Lynn was the happiest day of my life, with possibly the exception of when we adopted our foundling daughter, Trina. Oh, and the day Logan was born."
Logan snorts and turns us towards the counter, pulling me with him. I catch his eyeroll in the reflection in the plexiglass and file the reaction away in my brain. The woman on the other side just grins wildly at us, and I wonder if being overly enthusiastic is a job requirement to work here.
"Veronica Mars? Logan Echolls? Do you have your I.D.'s?"
I pull mine from my purse as Logan hands his over from his wallet and the woman scans the barcodes then hands them back.
"Place your left hand through the opening, one at a time, please."
I stretch my hand awkwardly through the opening at the bottom of the Plexi, and the woman takes it, opening a pair of calipers and closing them around my ring finger. Releasing me, she nods as I extract my hand and move out of the way, making room for Logan to do the same.
"Your rings will be given to you once the papers are signed. You can go in now and proceed to the room at the end."
The mechanical buzz of the door opening alerts me to move again, taking Logan's hand as we make our way through the door, and pausing to keep it open for my parents and his to follow. Down the white hall, we continue, and I remember taking this walk behind Lilly and her family on her Union day. She was so excited that she practically skipped down the aisle, and I wondered if that would be what I was like on my day. Suffice to say, skipping is the last thing I'm feeling like doing. Possibly barfing or fainting is more in line with my emotions right now.
At the end of the hall is the room, with the door removed and we continue inside to the old oak desk with papers laid out on top. Across the back wall are a row of old pane windows, and with the sun starting to set, a beautiful pinkish purple glow fills the room. The warmth of the room soothes my nerves, and I close my eyes and take a slow, cleansing breath. When I open them, I catch Logan smiling at me, and I can't help but smile back.
"Good afternoon, everyone." An older gentleman with dark sepia skin and silver curly hair hurries into the room, tossing on a black judge's robe over his shirt and dress pants. "Sorry to keep you waiting."
"Not a problem, Judge Simon," my father says, and I realize, of course, my dad would know him. My father seems to know everyone.
"Ah! Keith! Yes, I was wondering if this was your daughter when I saw the paperwork this morning." Judge Simon pulls two rings from his pocket and sets them on the table in front of the papers. "Not many people named Mars in town."
They continue to talk as the Judge readies himself, but I don't hear a word of it. All I can focus on now is the simple gold bands that sit on the desk. A leftover from the old days. Before, there were expensive diamond rings, given as promises that women would eventually marry the person who gave it to them in a lavish ceremony witnessed by hundreds of friends and family. Mrs. Echolls is one of the few women who I've seen who has such a ring. There was no money for such things after the war and the government began handing out what were once called "wedding bands" as a visual representation that the person was partnered. This was a symbol of Logan and my union, in delicate gold.
"Veronica?" Logan's voice takes me out of my own head and back into the room. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah. I guess. Sure."
"That doesn't sound very confident," Logan mutters, frowning at me.
"Of course she's confident, son." Aaron leans in, his hand clamping down on Logan's shoulder. "Why wouldn't she want to marry you?"
"Veronica, if there's something…" My dad steps towards me and rests his hand between my shoulder blades.
"I'm fine!" Shrugging, I pull away from my father's touch and shift closer to Logan. "I was just caught off guard by the question. That's it."
"It's normal to have some nerves, Ms. Mars—" Judge Simons nods from the other side of the desk. "—but it will be over with the stroke of a pen and then you can get on with your lives together."
That's supposed to reassure me?
Keeping my thoughts in my head, I give Logan's hand a tug, and we approach the desk, both now focused on the task at hand.
Judge Simons turns the two sheets of paper towards us. Gold pens are lying near each document, and I pick up one while Logan picks up the other. The Judge takes his black pen and makes three x's on each page.
"Ms. Mars, please sign where I have indicated by the x's."
With a small nod, I release Logan's hand and bend slightly to start the signing process. My hand shakes as I make a large V on the line, pausing for a split second to steady myself before continuing. As I sign, the Judge begins to speak again.
"The act of partnering is a long-held tradition in Novo Terra, sanctioned by the New Democracy through the guidance of science and technology, for the betterment of our society. Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls, may your union be a benefit to your lives and the lives of others."
They used to say "happily ever after" in the old days. I feel like that was a lie even back then too.
I finish the last signature and nod to Logan. He flashes me a tight smile as Judge Simons makes x's on the pages for him, and he starts signing one of the pages as soon as the Judge is done, leaning over and resting one elbow on the desk. As I watch, I focus on the muscles on the back of his neck, long and lean as he moves slightly, the bones of his spine pushing against his skin. A shiver runs over me as I realize I'll be looking at him, analyzing him, memorizing him, for the rest of my life.
He pulls himself straight and places the pen on the desk near the rings, his eyes still focused on the desk.
"Logan, please pick up Veronica's ring and repeat after me…"
Logan does as he's told and I offer my left hand to him. When he takes it, his hand is cold and clammy and it makes me feel better that I'm not the only nervous one in the room.
"...Veronica Mars, I take you as my partner, now and forever."
Clearing his throat, Logan focuses on my eyes. There's an intensity in them I've never seen before and my breath hitches as I try not to look away.
"Veronica Mars…" his words are soft and slow and a calm settles over me at the mention of my name from his lips. "I take you as my partner, now and forever."
For a second, I can't move, focusing on the feeling of him slipping my ring gently down my finger. When it reaches the end, I look down as it shimmers in the light.
With a smile, I reach for his ring on the desk, and we shift our grasp, so I'm now holding his hand, his ring positioned near his clean-cut nails.
"Veronica Mars, please repeat after me," the Judge continues. "Logan Echolls, I take you as my partner, now and forever."
"Logan Echolls…" My mouth goes dry, and I cough a little to get myself going again. "I take you as my partner, now and forever."
As I slip the ring over his muscular fingers, I take in the lines on his knuckles, the tan of his skin. Someone in the room gasps as a small sob and I wonder whether it's my mother or Lynn who has started crying, but I don't change my focus. When I'm done, I keep Logan's hand in mine, and he reaches for my free hand, grasping it tightly as we take a fresh look at each other.
My partner. Logan is now my partner. And I am his.
"By the powers invested in me by the Government of Novo Terra, I am delighted to pronounce that this union is now complete. Congratulations to you both."
A round of applause breaks out from our families and Logan closes his eyes, exhaling so hard I can feel his breath on my face and I laugh. Wonder how long he's been holding that in?
"You know, in our day, we were asked to kiss the bride," Aaron proclaims with a chuckle. "How about one for old times' sake."
"Yes!" My mother claps with excitement. "Just a small kiss for posterity. To seal the deal, as it were."
"Lianne, Aaron, if the kids aren't comfortable…" my father starts, but I shake my head at him.
"No...I mean..it's okay." The words fall from my mouth before I realize what I'm staying. I just agreed to kiss Logan for the first time in front of everyone. What the hell am I thinking?
"Are you sure?" Logan's looking down at me with concern. "Because we don't have to…"
"It's fine. Let's just do it, quickly, for them. Okay?"
And just like that, time slows and all I can hear is my heart beating in my ears as Logan lets go of my hands, placing his palms gently on my cheeks, cradling my face in his hands.
Oh my God, this is it.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes as I feel his breath near my face. But instead of reaching my lips, his lips stop on my forehead, pressing softly against my skin. I open my eyes just as he retreats, his expression a blank slate.
He doesn't want me.
My stomach tightens. Of course, he doesn't want me. Why would he want me when he had Lilly. Beautiful, sexy, smart Lilly. That's why he offered a chaste arrangement for our union. He doesn't find me desirable as a partner in the least. Tears prickle my eyes, and I blink them back quickly, so no one notices, dropping his hands as I turn to the group.
"Okay, folks, you got what you came here for. Now let's go to dinner, I'm starving."
Walking through the group, I hurry down the hallway, leaving everyone to catch up. The woman at the front desk sees me coming, and she buzzes me out of the door just as my hand catches the handle. Pulling the door open, I continue on my quest, trying to put as much distance between my family and me —both new and old—as I try unsuccessfully to get away from the thought in my head.
My partner doesn't want me.