Veronica
So many emotions. As I walk through the airport towards the boarding gate, I feel like I'm about to explode with the amount of emotion building in my body. When Logan came to the door to retrieve me from home, I was already on the verge of tears while saying goodbye to my parents. My mother may drive me bananas, but I'm still going to miss her. And I'm worried. I'm worried that without me, the drinking she tries to hide will get worse. Just recognizing that thought sent a jolt of fear through my body as I hugged her even harder. It had been a long time since I worried about it—setting it aside several years ago when she curtailed the drinking after a month of therapy with Dad. But now that I'm leaving, this fear that I've been trying to hide has lurched in my brain, settling in at the front of my mind with all the other things I'm worrying about.
Logan helped my dad to the cab with my bags and shook his hand, listening patiently as my father wished us both the best luck at school and welcomed him back at Christmas break to join our family for our traditional celebrations. The smile that crossed Logan's face was so warm and appreciative that it made my heart flutter a bit when he enthusiastically accepted. On the way to the airport however, my mood changed as all my anxiety caught up with me in the silence of the ride. The flight, my mother, Logan and I living together, seeing Duncan. I tried to hold it together, but Logan must have seen my quiet tears in my reflection of the cap window because he reached over and took my hand without saying a word. He didn't say anything, just held my hand for the whole drive, and for the second time in 24 hours, his touch made me feel anchored to the world again.
As we approach the gate, I spot Duncan in one of the seats, staring off into space. He seems so alone just sitting there among the other travellers, a vacant look across his face. Again, Logan's hand reaches out and finds mine under my winter coat, slung over my arm, and my breath hitches, not used to having someone to grasp.
"Here we go…" Logan mutters as we approach and a big forced grin spreads across his face. "Hey! Donut!"
Duncan's head jerks towards us, an involuntary smile spread across his face briefly before it falters, his eyes falling towards our hands, but he recovers enough when we approach to seem at least mildly happy to see us.
"Hey. Was wondering about you guys. I've been here for almost an hour." He nods at us both.
"Security was brutal," I offer. "You must have beaten the rush."
"I did. I remembered how long the good-byes took with Lilly and my parents when she left and asked them to drop me off really early so we could get it over with."
Logan chuckles. "Did Jake cry like he did with Lilly?"
Duncan rolls his eyes. "No, Dad didn't cry for me. But my Mom did. Pop just gave me the normal lecture about bad influences and such."
"Clarence thinks I'm the bad influence." Logan jerks his thumb towards his face and laughs. "And we're booked on the same flight so you're already breaking your Pop's rules."
"He caught you sleeping with his daughter, Lo. He may not be wrong."
I can't help the gasp that escapes me. Did everyone know about Lilly and Logan except me?
"What?!"
Logan coughs, glancing at me quickly before looking away like a dog caught peeing in someone's shoe. "Maybe. Once."
"Lilly told me the cat was out of the bag." A genuine smile of happiness crosses Duncan's lips as he glances between us. "Should have never been a secret in the first place. I mean, we're all friends here and even I had to find out by catching you sneaking out of Lilly's room at night."
So, this is how it's going to go. My stomach flips and turns, and I feel my emotions start to bubble up again. I wasn't even thinking about Lilly and Logan anymore, but adding that thought to my overwhelmed brain is starting to be too much. Dropping Logan's hand, I put down my carry-on and coat and begin to dig through my big leather purse, pretending to look for something, but just trying to keep my head down and avoid the conversation.
"That's in the past," Logan states firmly. I don't look up but I can tell by his voice that he's pissed. "Veronica and I are very much the present and future. And Lilly and Sabrina are too."
"Yeah…I don't see that lasting very long."
My head jerks up and I frown at Duncan. "What are you talking about? Lilly and Sabrina are fine."
"Sometimes." He shrugs. "But my Dad said that she's been complaining a lot about Sabrina and they even had to call in a counsellor."
"She never said anything to me about it," I huff, unable to hide my annoyance that Duncan may know more about Lilly than me. Up until she left for college, I knew everything about Lilly! Well, almost everything…
"Hey, even Orwell can make mistakes."
The way Duncan arches his eyebrow at Logan, then me, makes me think he's talking about us. And by the way Logan steps towards him, I know Logan thinks it too.
"What the hell are you trying to say, Duncan? Because we might as well get this all out in the open before we all fly across the country together."
Logan's fists ball at his side and I immediately lunge towards him, grasping his nearest fist with my hands. As I open my mouth to speak, a voice comes on the intercom.
"All passengers for Flight 837 to Chicago Airport, set to depart at 21:00 hours, Gate G is now open and boarding. Please have your Government I.D., security clearance papers, and boarding pass ready. Thank you."
Stepping in close to Logan, I realise he's breathing slowly through his nose, trying to keep himself in check, and I place my hand on his chest, feeling it rise and fall as his heart beats hard against my palm.
"We need to go, Logan. Get your papers out of your carry-on. Please."
His eyes flash from Duncan's to mine and he nods, turning away from our friend. He relaxes his balled hand and I slip mine into his again, giving it a squeeze. As we approach the boarding gate, we fall into line and he lets go of my hand, pulling his backpack off his shoulder and reaching in to retrieve his papers. I pull mine easily from my purse and clutch them, allowing him to take my free hand in his again.
"Ready?" I ask, hesitantly.
"Ready," he replies with a sigh.
Logan
I offered Veronica the window seat but instead, she took the centre one, putting herself smack dab between me and Duncan. It took some time for him to catch up with us and it allowed us to get ourselves comfortable next to each other. Veronica pulled out a stack of magazines to amuse herself while I stuffed my winter jacket and carry-on under my seat and pulled out a book and a small light so I could read.
We had discussed whether it was better to sleep or just stay awake for the four-hour flight and we decided that we would make do with an extra cup of coffee after we went through security and just motor through until we got to our dorm. Once we got to Chicago, we were to meet at the entrance to Terminal 2 where a bus from the college would be waiting for all the students flying in from across the country. We would be given our room assignments and keys by an advisor on our way and we figured we would make it to our dorm by around 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. Since there were no classes until Monday, we agreed to hang on and wait to crash when we got to the dorm room, then sleep as long as we needed the next day.
It's turning out to be a good choice because between the strong, crappy airport coffee and the argument with Duncan, there was no way in hell I'm going to sleep on the plane. Duncan always did have a dumbass streak through him, but now that Veronica is partnered with me, he's just letting it all show. This is supposed to be my best friend and it's painfully clear that he's determined to make his disdain for our union very clear.
Veronica buckles her seat belt and arranges her magazines on her lap. "So, just so you know, my father gave me some money he saved for us as a gift. He suggested that we use it for things we need for our dorm, just in case we wanted to make it feel more comfortable."
Damn, Veronica's dad really is the best.
"Wow. That's really generous of him. I'll have to thank him the next time you're on the phone with him."
"Well, your parents were awfully nice to pay for the hotel and all the food we consumed last night." She wrinkles her nose as she smiles and it seems like she's happy with the memories we made.
"It was a pretty good night." I offer my hand to her and she pauses, blushing, before wrapping her fingers around mine.
God, none of our sexuality classes ever talked about how good it feels to hold the hand of someone you care about, and who cares about you. Because after last night, I'm convinced that Veronica at least enjoys my company and maybe even gives two fucks about me as well, which is a wonderful feeling. This currently puts her in a close race with my mother as the top two people in the world who care.
She's dressed in black tights, boots, and a bright yellow oversized knit sweater, which makes her look not unlike a big cozy bumble bee. At least she thought ahead. As soon as I sat down, I regretted wearing jeans and a henley. The cabin was cold and Chicago would be even colder. At least I didn't pack my jacket in the suitcase.
Duncan stops in the aisle by his seat, his face puckering like he's about to sit beside a rotting trash monster and not his friends. With a grunt, he opens the overhead compartment and stuffs his carry-on inside. Once he's done, he leaves the door open, because of course he would make the stewards close it, and I stifle an eye-roll as he flops down in his seat.
"So, did you get your schedule yet, Veronica? I got mine in the mail last week." He begins fumbling with his seatbelt and I want to reach over and help the manchild.
"I did, with the orientation package. What pre-law tract did you choose?"
Veronica squeezes my hand again and I feel like she's telling me it will all be okay between us and Duncan. So I sit back in my seat and close my eyes, content for now to listen to them talk.
"I finally settled on psychology as well, so I was just thinking we may have some classes together."
This time I squeeze Veronica's hand and I hear her breath hitch. I may have squeezed too tightly.
"We probably will. What do you have first thing on Monday? If I remember correctly, I have Sociology followed by Criminal Justice."
"I have Sociology too! Maybe we can walk to class together. It'll be good to have a friendly face on the first day."
"Yeah. I will be. Logan? What do you have on Monday?"
I stuffed my orientation package in my suitcase after a cursory glance at it. I have no idea what I have Monday. Or Tuesday. Or Wednesday.
"Not too sure. I think Political Science. Or maybe Post-War History. I dunno. One of those rings a bell." I keep my eyes closed but I can just imagine Duncan smirking at my lack of preparation.
"We should probably put up our schedules in our dorm so we know where each of us is during the day."
"And, why would you need to know that?"
Veronica sucks in a sharp breath and I open my eyes to see her frowning at me.
"Because we're partners."
"And that means knowing where each other is every moment of the day?"
"Well...I…"
Duncan snorts, holding his fist over his mouth as he chuckles.
"Veronica, I just mean that we're partners, not each other's keepers. My own mother doesn't know where I am 24 hours a day. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that when we aren't in class, we'll be in our dorm room together anyway, since there's really nowhere else to go. Unless you feel like taking a pleasant drive along the Great Lakes to the Eastern zone to see the radioactive waste that used to be Pennsylvania?"
She scowls at me in that way she's done so many times during a debate, with daggers in her eyes and I wonder if I've pushed this a bit too far.
"Maybe your mother should have kept better track of you. Besides sneaking around with Lilly, all your procuring of drugs and alcohol while underage seems like something she may have wanted to know about."
Ugh. Yep. Direct hit once again. Damn, I forgot how sweet Veronica liked to go for the jugular when cornered. She must get it from her Dad's law enforcement genes.
"Good thing I'm of age now to get those things legally." I can't help the grin which spreads across my face as I lean closer to her, but still within earshot of Duncan. "And I don't think I'll be leaving our bed for sex with anyone else ever again."
The implication has its desired effect when I look at Duncan and see he's turned beet red with anger at the assumption that Veronica and I have already had sex. Unfortunately, Veronica has turned the same shade, but more from embarrassment.
Everyone sits in silence as I lean back into my seat, still grinning at my victory. I give Veronica's hand a squeeze and realize there is now moisture between our skin and she pulls away, wiping her hand on her jeans. Without a word, she opens the first magazine on her lap just as the steward announces our imminent departure.
Our first fight as a couple and I feel like I won. Not a bad start to this adventure.
Veronica
How can I be so mad at him and still so turned on? And I don't think I'll be leaving our bed for sex with anyone else... I know he said it for Duncan's benefit, I'm not an idiot, but that's the sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me and now I'm caught in this limbo where I want to either lean over and kiss him, or kick him in the shins.
And I don't think I'll be leaving our bed for sex with anyone else...
Damn. How long is that going to stay in my head? Now I'm trapped between him and Duncan and the plane is taxiing down the runway and I want to toss back a sexy reply but my brain is so fried from what he said, I can't think of anything good to say in rebuttal.
What makes you think I'd let you leave?
Nope. I sound like a stalker about to handcuff him to the bedpost. A tickle of excitement runs through me at that thought and I feel my cheeks heat up again.
What makes you think you'd be able to walk after I'm done with you?
Where the hell did that come from? A movie? A book? Apparently there's a femme fatale Veronica hidden somewhere in my body and I didn't even know she existed. I open my mouth to say what I'm thinking, but then clamp my lips together tightly. Do I really want to say this in front of Duncan? Probably not. We just had what I think constitutes our first fight as a couple in front of Duncan and I would rather not give him any more of a show.
Wait. I think I just missed the bigger picture in what Logan just said. Does this mean he wants to have sex with me now? Like, right now? As in when we get to our dorm room tomorrow morning? Just walk in, toss off our clothes, and jump into bed together? Because maybe that's not a bad idea. New life together. New space together. We could christen the room, so to speak. No pressure either. Just two newly partnered people, enjoying their time together in their new apartment. Naked. Okay, maybe a shower first. And some food. But then, definitely sex.
"Was that your stomach grumbling?" Logan asks and I glance over to see his eyes are still closed as we ascend past the clouds. "Or the plane engine?"
"I am getting a little hungry. When we're cleared to take off our seatbelts, I'll grab the cookies my mother baked for us."
He snorts and opens one eye towards me. "I like how your mom packed us something, as if we were going to summer camp. It's nice. Comforting."
"Your mom doesn't strike me as the making cookies kind of mom."
"No. She's more of the 'go and see if you can steal some cookies from craft services' kind of mom."
"Right. I guess you grew up on movie sets before you moved to Neptune. That must have been fun."
He turns his head to look out the window into the blackness of the night. "Yeah. In hindsight it was. The Government mandate to provide childcare for all meant that Trina and I ended up being tutored with a bunch of other kids whose parents needed the service on location. That was cool." He turns back to me and runs his fingers through his hair. "When I was about nine years old, they were making a movie along the Southern Radiation Zone, near what was once Texas. Since there were only about five of us kids on set, the teacher arranged for the horse trainer to take us out into the desert and we rode all the way to the fence around the area and she did her history lesson about the war while we looked out into the emptiness left by the bombs."
A chill runs down my spine. "That's incredible."
"Maybe that's why Orwell placed me into a political career path. I want to make sure a civil war like that never happens again. You know, I've been volunteering at the Veterans' Hospital for a few years now, and the stories they tell make me more convinced we should never go back to how it was before, but I'm also not convinced we are on the right path now."
"Really? How so?"
"I think we need to do more to attract people from other parts of the world to move here. The New Democracy seems to think what is left of us can repopulate the country to a point where our population growth is higher than our decline. But that means a commitment to changing our immigration policies and making our country seem like an appealing place to live again."
"Because us blowing up half of our own population is a hard thing to shake off in the eyes of the world?"
He chuckles again, an ironic smile on his lips. "Yeah. It kind of is."
"Logan's one of those people who thinks things are better now." Duncan laughs and leans over towards our conversation. "Your Dad and my Dad were well on their way to being very rich before the war, Logan. Now, they do the same work for the same wages as everyone else. We live in the same homes as bus drivers and go to the same schools. How is that an advancement of society?"
"Look Duncan, I like you in spite of your old-school capitalist views." Logan smirks, his gaze flashing between us. "I'm not saying there aren't problems with the system now—far from it—but that's why I think that enticing new people and great minds to our country will help us in the long run to find new and better ways to deal with our problems."
"Personally, I like your way of looking at things, Logan. It's really quite hopeful. That's what I want to do as a judge as well—help change the system for the better so we can all move forward."
This time, we both reach out our hands to each other at the same time. When they connect, I feel the energy from him course through my veins.
"I'm sorry I was a jerk about the schedule. I'm just not used to anyone really caring about where I am," he offers, quietly. "Bygones?"
"Bygones. We're still figuring this out."
"Yeah. I guess we are."
"Now, if you gentlemen will give me some peace and quiet…" I stick my tongue out and glide my thumb over it before dramatically flipping the next page of my magazine. "...I have dorm decor ideas to research in this stack of old magazines Lilly sent me. I will now tune you both out for some mindless, fluffy goodness."
My hand jiggles slightly as Logan laughs. Keeping one hand in mine, he places his book on his lap and runs his index finger along the top pages to find the edge of his bookmark. His middle finger slides between the pages and pushes it open, his hands big enough to spread the pages wide across his lap and I find myself captivated by his fingers stretched across the page, long and slender. How could I know him for years and never truly focused on him before? These little details of Logan that make up the entire man.
There's a loud clicking and Duncan releases his seatbelt. I catch him glaring at Logan as he stands. "Bathroom," he mutters before skulking down the aisle.
"He'll get over it," Logan whispers close to my ear, sending a tingle down my spine. "Duncan will get partnered eventually and forget all about us."
I know it's true. Time will pass and Duncan will move on.
"God, I hope so."