Xera'Raan, Illium, Shopping District
"Keelah, Tali," Xera sighed as they looked over the store's inventory. "I don't think this is where you want to have this conversation."
"You said my Bond wasn't confirmed," Tali sniffed. "Then you said you would tell me later. Now it's later. I'm tired of you hiding things."
"I'm not- ugh," Xera turned away from away from the kiosk to give Tali a dark look. "I'm not hiding anything! The situation hadn't came up, so I didn't think about it. Now that it's come up, I'm pretty sure I know one of the reasons."
"Then tell me!" Tali actually gave a little stomp, almost vibrating in anger. It was kinda cute actually….
It also helped that it wasn't the homicidal rage she had been in before. That was not cute.
"Fine. Not here. Let's go to that bar, we're going to need a drink for this," Xera chuckled dryly.
Tali's eyes narrowed slightly.
Eternity Bar
Tali's fingers drummed as Xera returned from the bar. In her hands was a small selection of both drink, and food tubes.
"The bartender is amazing," Xera giggled as she sat across from Tali, setting the tubes down. "She's half krogan apparently! And she has some amazing drinks and doesn't charge extra for sterilization! Food too!"
"I don't care, Xera," Tali said dryly. "Speak."
With a deep sigh Xera shook her head as she slotted a drink tube into her helmet. "Fine, give me a minute. I want to be a bit tipsy for this conversation."
"Xera!" Tali slapped the table as she leaned over the table. "Why is this so damned hard for you!"
"It's because you haven't fucked him, Tali!" Xera snapped. "You haven't linked suits. Done the deed. Mated. Taken him into a den. That enough? I got more."
"I...what?" Tali sat back, stunned.
"Really, Tali? Is it so difficult?" Xera snorted as she took a long pull from her drink tube before slotting a new one. "Part of the Bonding process is taking in each other's...pheromones, blood, lust, passion. All of it. It's the culmination of the whole thing. And I have no idea how you are going to be able to do it. And that it hurts you, hurts me."
"Think I need a drink," Tali snatched up one of the drink tubes, slotting it into her own helmet and taking a deep pull. Then she coughed, nearly spitting up into her helmet. "Keelah...what the hell is this?!"
"Heh, a dextro variation of a human liqueur called 'tequila'," Xera laughed slotting in a food tube along with the drink. "I was going to say, the bartender is awesome, she came up with a drink for quarians that she calls 'Tequila Se'lai'. Isn't that great?"
"Ha, ha!" Tali nodded. "And I think it's stronger than I thought. I might need food…."
Oriana Lawson, Lamet's Cafe
"These raspberry scones are pretty good," Miranda said as she pushed her pastry around her plate with fork. She was incredibly awkward, it was kinda adorable.
"They are pretty good. You aren't supposed to eat them coffee though," Oriana smiled warmly.
"Heh, I suppose so," Miranda smiled awkwardly. "Look...I'm not good at this kind of thing. I'm sorry. Most people say I'm cold."
"Oh, pshaw," Oriana waved a hand with a giggle. "You're doing fine. This is kinda a unique situation. There aren't many genetically engineered super sisters."
"Ah, ha, ha…" Miranda rubbed at the back of her head as she poured sweetener in her coffee. "How..how did you know about that?"
"Please," Oriana raised an eyebrow as she crossed her arms. "I'm a genius. It wasn't exactly difficult. In fifth grade science class I chained the school's computers to run a DNA scanning software. I don't particularly look much like mom and dad beyond hair, eye and basic bone structure, so I figured I was adopted. Turned out I was right. And that was salt, by the way."
Almost like a scene from a comedy vid, Miranda spit her coffee out like a small fountain, coughing.
Laughing, Oriana passed Miranda a small stack of napkins she pinched from a nearby table. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah...fine…"Miranda coughed a few more times as she shook her head. "Could have warned me before I drank it though."
"Could have," Oriana gave a half shrug. "Wouldn't have been nearly as funny though."
"How did you know I was your sister, though," Miranda fidgeted with her coffee cup. "You didn't really know of me before today."
"Oh, well, Niket, actually. He stayed in touch with my parents," Oriana sipped her tea. "When I confronted my parents, they admitted my adoption. Wasn't exactly a huge leap to assume Niket would know something, so I hacked his accounts. Led me to you. Tracking you down was far more difficult."
"You...you hacked Niket and tracked me through the extranet?" Miranda stared at the girl incredulously. "That should be impossible! The...organization I worked...work, for specialize in subterfuge!"
"Eh," Oriana wiggled her hand back and forth. "Like I said, I'm a super genius. My biotics are pretty pathetic though. So I guess even clone sisters have differences."
A gentle smile graced Miranda's face as she gently laid her hand over Oriana's. "You're a better person than I am. You are far smarter. I...I look forward to seeing your future. I hope I can be a part of it? If you wanted, that is…"
"Miranda," Oriana clasped her sister's hand as she looked seriously at the woman. "You couldn't keep me away it you wanted to. I'm looking forward to you meeting my boyfriend!"
"Your...what now," Miranda's eyes changed to blades as they narrowed.
"Ha, ha!" Oriana fell back in her chair laughing. "Nothing! I'm just messing with you! You should have seen your face! Ha, ha, ha!"
"Oriana!"
John, Illium, Cargo Docks
"You have to give me a pass," an extremely agitated volus was saying to a very annoyed looking asari officer. "They killed my partner! I'm sure to be next!"
"And why would they kill you, Mister Fore," the asari sighed. "Do they have some sort of reason? Have you done anything that would...antagonize them?"
"I...uh...no, of course not!" the volus's demeanor suddenly shifted to a more aggressive tone. "Why would you even ask that?"
"Excuse me," John spoke up as he approached the pair. "Are you Detective Anya?"
"Depends on who's asking," Anya raised a brow.
"I am Commander John Shepard, Spectre," John introduced himself. "This is my partner, Garrus Vakarian, and my hit-Krogan, Grunt."
"Heh," Anya smirked as she looked over John's little group. "Not often we get a Spectre out here. Is there something I can help you with?"
"Hey! Do you know who I am?!" The volus demanded, pushing between John and the detective. "I'm Pitne Fore! If you're a Spectre, then I demand you have the detective give me my offworld pass! Name your price!"
Slowly, John blinked at the little asshole, before looking back at Garrus. "I'm pretty sure trying to bribe a Spectre is against the rules…"
With a quick shrug, garrus brought up his omnitool and began skimming. "Name's Garrus Vakarian, not a Spectre, more his best friend than a partner. Grunt, however, is more Shepard's adopted son, than hit-krogan. Though that might just be the same thing."
"Heh, Hit-Krogan" Grunt chuckled. "I like that term."
"Charmed," Anya openly grinned now. "I think I'm going to like you guys."
"And...yup, bribing a Spectre is against the rules. I don't particularly want to read the thing out, but it's under Spectre discretion to deal with. As most things," Garrus shrugged, turning off his omnitool.
"Great!" John rubbed his hands together as he smiled down at the little round weasel. "I just met you, and I already don't like you. So how about you tell me what's going on, and then I decide if I through you over the rail or not?"
"Yup, like you," Anya nodded.
"Uh...my..my partner was killed," Pitne shrank back. "He was brutally gunned down, and I'm sure I'm next! I have to escape while I can!"
"Hmm, Eclipse?" John glanced at Anya, who looked a little surprised as she nodded. "Thought so. I've been knee deep in the bastards since I got to this world."
"You must have been involved in that incident in the warehouses this morning, then," Anya leaned back, impressed.
"Ah...yeah," John rubbed at the back of his neck, embarrassed. "I came here looking for a Justicar named Samara, so I don't think I can get too involved…"
"Oh, goddess love me," Anya threw her hands up, seemingly relieved about something. "The Justicar you are looking for came by on other business that also involved the Eclipse, but seeing as they can't turn away from...well...justice, she is compelled to get involved. Right now she is in the cargo area, past the barriers. If you can get her out of my mallina, I would take you behind the crates and blow you."
"I..uh..okay?" John blinked, surprised. "I'll go talk to her, then?"
"Ha! My Battlemaster can't help women throwing themselves at him!" Grunt laughed, slapping Garrus on the back and staggering him.
"Is this...normal...police procedure?" Garrus asked, rubbing at his shoulder. "If it is, C-Sec would solve a lot more crimes that way."
"Heh, no, I'm just desperate to not die," Anya laughed. "The brass want me to take the Justicar into custody so that she doesn't create a 'diplomatic incident'."
"And I take it, she would not take kindly to that?" John snorted as Anya shook her head violently. "Figures. Brass are pretty brave when it's somebody else's ass on the line."
"You know it," Anya shrugged.
"What about me?" Pitne Fore whined.
"Detective, would you mind putting this little butter ball in 'protective custody' until I get this mess sorted out?" John barely spared the volus a contemptuous look.
"Sure thing," Anya gave a little laugh before giving John a saucey look. "You want prepayment? I could do worse than the hero of the Citadel. Be a hell of a story for the grandkids someday."
"Uh..Not that...I...IhavesomebodythatIamwith,sorrythatnkyouthough," John spat at high speed, looking a little shaken.
"Ha!" Anya laughed so hard she snorted a little as she slapped her leg. "Too bad, I got skills my friend. Maybe send your girl my way and I can give her tips."
Illium Cargo Docks
"So...think we should tell Tali?" Garrus snickered. "Maybe she could use those tips?"
"Garrus...Shut up," John sighed.
"No, really, I mean, learning how to please your partner is always a good thing, but than, I suppose humans are pretty stuck up when it comes to that stuff," Garrus grinned. "Turians just talk to each other."
John looked at Garrus, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"No joke, actually," Garrus assured him. "My aunt was the one that told me a lot of tricks females like. No reason to deny somebody knowledge that could make somebody happy."
"I...huh, I am not sure how to feel about that," John admitted. "On one hand, that seems really weird, but than, there is also a lot of logic in it."
"I don't know why you just don't do them," Grunt shrugged. "Spread your genes around. Show the world how desirable you are, and more females will want you."
"Yeah...Humans don't work that way…." John started then paused. "Okay, most humans aren't that way. We tend toward monogamy, once we settle with a partner. Same goes with quarians, and I am happy with Tali. I don't want to do anything that would hurt her."
"So you two do have a thing going?" Garrus raised a brow plate. "I thought we were 'bros'. Shouldn't you have told me first?"
"Ah, yeah, sorry," John sighed slightly. "It's a bit chaotic and I don't understand all the details, but we are a couple. When we finish this up, we should get a drink and you can give me advice, or something."
"It's a date!" Garrus laughed as he slapped John's shoulder. Just as a yellow armor clad body came flying out of an upper story window, to land heavily on the ground in front of them.
Looking up, a tall regal looking asari woman wearing what seemed to be a red leather bodysuit floated gently to the ground with her biotics. And the fact that her body suit was open to md sternum, showing a rather generous amount of cleavage, was something John noticed pretty quickly.
And that she had a rather unique biotic amp attached to her forehead.
Slowly, the woman, whim John assumed must be the Justicar, walked to the downed mercenary.
The merc, herself, was breathing hard as she desperately tried to drag herself away, even as the Justicar placed a booted foot on the woman's neck.
"I won't ask again," the Justicar said. Her voice was pleasant, btu mercyless at the same time. "Tell me what I want to know."
"Go to...hell...bitch," the merc ground out.
A look of disappointment, maybe even sadness flashed across the Justicar's face as she nodded, "Find peace with the Goddess." Then with a twist of her foot, and a brief flash of biotics, the mercenary's neck snapped.
"Now, you come to me armed and armored, yet have nothing drawn," she looked up at John. Her pale blue eyes, almost the same color as her skin, looked...haunted. They contained deep pain, but equally deep conviction.
"My name is John Shepard," John stepped forward. "I'm a Council Spectre and I am looking for help with an important, dangerous mission. Hundreds of thousands of lives are at stake."
"Your name in known to me," the Justicar nodded, with a small smile. "Had I not been aware of your previous deeds, I might have taken your claims as suspect, or gross exaggeration. My name is Samara. I am of the Justicar order. I am pledged to combat evil where I find it, and your cause does sound worthy. However, I am tracking a killer that I have been following for three hundred years. I am close now. The Eclipse smuggled her offworld, and I must know where. If you can help me with my task, I would accompany you on yours."
"That...was way easier than I expected," Garrus admitted.
With a gentle smile, Samara nodded. "Commander Shepard has a reputation. I believe him to be the type of man that honors his word. Both the spirit, as well as letter."
Alright then," John rubbed his hands together. "We should go speak to Detective Anya. Maybe she can give us some leads."
"So...are you mating with the Detective when we get there? I was a little confused," Grunt asked innocently.
Samara, to her credit, managed to keep herself to only the ghost of a smile.
"No...Grunt. I am not mating with the Detective," John sighed, rubbing his face.
"I would," Grunt said with a shrug.
"Grunt...I can't even, right now….
Tali, Eternity Bar
"So..so...so...so..so…When I was on the first Normandy, right?" Tali slurred as she poked at Xera's arm. "When I realized I thought John was cute and stuff? I started looking up human porn…"
"Ha!" Xera laughed, slapping at the table. "Isn't the stuff weird?! It's all...pink and stuff!"
"I know!" Tali threw her hands in the air. "It's like they is..are..so similar to us, that like...it's all weird when you get the stuff that is like...just slightly different!"
"Right!? Xera leaned forward and grabbed Tali's hand. "It'll fit. I looked into it, because, you know, of course I did! It'll fit, but'll take some work. And lubricant."
"Keelah…." Tali leaned back, he eyes drifting thoughtful. "I want to feel his skin. I want to take the work. Do the work. Whatever…"
"Of course you do," Xera smirked. "If wer're gonna plan this, we gotta know what kinda size your looking at. We need to get you ready, if you know what I mean…."
"Xera!" Tali tried to be shocked, but couldn't stop the giggling. "How would we even do that?"
"We could let Jack do him, and ask her?" Xera gave Tali a sly look. "She's they type that would totally tell."
"Xera!" Now Tali was mildly irritated. But was still giggling. "He's mine! I don't share! Unless he gets a secondary mate. I think. Do humans do that? Would it be the same with a non quarian?"
"Dunno, humans are weird about sex," Xera shrugged as she reached out and unplugged Tali's drink tube, slotting in a new one. "Try this, it's a nice kinda citrus flavor. Anyway… I don't know how human matings work beyond the mechanics. WAIT!" Xera sat straight up. "Idea!"
"That can't be good," Tali snickered as she drank. "Ooo...that is good!"
"Edi! Edi! Edi! Edi!" Xera looked at the ceiling.
"Yes, miss Raan?" the AI answered sounding a bit amused. "I can hear you. You do not need to repeat yourself."
"Shhh…" Xera held a finger to her indicator light. "Don't worry about that. I want you to tell me about the John's oms."
"Unfortunately, that falls under private matters, as such, I cannot give you that information," Edi answered.
"No...it's fine," Xera assured the AI. "We don't mind. And oms is the male genitals."
"It is not 'fine', miss Raan," Edi reassured them. "And I am also aware of what an oms is. I do have access to the language databases."
"No, really, it's fine, I'm a doctor," Xera snorted as she dropped her visor to the table, fighting down laughter.
"All the more reason," Edi was beginning to sound exasperated.
"Hey!" a gruff voice above the quarian's table half shouted. "We don't want your kind stinking up the bar!"
Tali and Xera, almost in unison, swivel their heads to regard the human standing over their table. He was a rough looking sort, bald headed, scar, big arms. A stereotypical asshole.
"Didn't you hear me, Rats?" the man sneered, earning a guffaw from a turian that stood behind the human. And now that their attention had been drawn, there was another human with them. That made three!
"Suit Rats," Tali corrected, holding up a finger. "If you're gonna use a…*hck*..'scuse me, little drunk… If you're gonna use an insult, use it right."
"Yeah, fuck knuckle!" Xera snorted, giving the man a bleary eye look. "Ancestors, you are one ugly bosh'tet, aren't you?"
"Xera!" Tali laughed, shoving her friend. "You don't tell them that! And what's a fuck knuckle?"
"I..dunno," Xera shrugged. "It's in the list John gave me on Horizon, and it sounded mean."
"You little shits," the man growled, his face turning a weird redish-pink color. "You worthless beggars, there's no way you have real money to drink here! Who did you steal from?"
Tali shared a dark look with Xera, then looked and the small pile of food and drink tubes on the table. One downside to having to take it in tubes like that...well...one of the many downsides, was that the tubes didn't have heft to them.
Than, Tali's gaze drifted to the table next to them, where a couple salarians sat, watching the confrontation.
"Hey," she blurted, picking up the bottle of drink they had between them. "You done with this?"
"Umm...no?" one of the said, blinking.
"M'kay...I'll buy you a new one then," Tali nodded as she suddenly came to her feet, swinging the bottle in an overhand arc. It was very satisfying s the glass shattered on the bald human's head. Shards of glass and alcohol spattered over the man's companions as his eyes rolled back in his head and he went down in a heap.
Everything went quiet, as the man's companions looked between Tali and their friend, currently sprawled on the floor.
"You Bitch!" the other human said as he reached for Tali, only to have Xera's foot slamm down on his instep with a sickening crunch. Then, with a twist of her upper body, her elbow slammed into the man's groin.
The human's eyes shot wide as the color drained from his face. His mouth went into a comical 'O' shape as he let out a loud squeal.
Then the bar fight happened.
Asari Lexicon
Mallina: Word for an asari's head crest of semi-flexible cartilage that grow into shape.
Quarian Lexicon
Oms: Term for male genitalia.
AN: Any typos in the drunk speech are on purpose. Other than those, I'm just not a good editor. :)