Veronica

Today is the first day I have ever played hooky from school. But after the whirlwind weekend spent with Logan, I couldn't drag myself to class. When I woke up this morning, every muscle in my body ached from too much sex. Apparently, there is a human limit to pleasure, and we hit it. Truthfully, I probably could have gone into class, but I also wanted to avoid Duncan, and I figured that me hiding out for a day would give us some breathing space. We still had to figure out a way to exist in the same program, but for now, time and space was needed.

The final reason had more to do with the revelations that happened in between all of the sex. Logan's admission about Aaron's abuse. My realization that my mother was gaslighting me to hide her alcoholism. What I desperately needed was time today to get my head on straight, without the delicious distraction of Logan around. He did pop by briefly to check in on me during his lunch break to deliver some pain killers, a burger with large fries, and a bouquet of fresh flowers to needlessly apologize for any discomfort I was feeling. When I reminded him that it was me who kept attacking him while he was trying to study, he just laughed and kissed the tip of my nose and promised we would limit ourselves to three orgasms maximum each day from now on.

Now, sitting on our bed in my sweats and his hoodie, I glance at the clock, taking note that I have about twenty minutes before Logan gets home. If I want a private conversation with anyone, it's now or never.

The phone has been sitting beside me on the bed for the last hour, and I finally get the nerve to pick it up and dial the number that's been rolling around my head. Drumming my fingers on my knee, I listen to the ringtone from my call, anxiously waiting for it to connect.

"N.D.S.S. Keith Mars here."

"Hey, Dad!"

"Veronica! It's so good to hear your voice! How's school? How's Logan?"

I cringe. What I want to say is that school is fine, and Logan's father has been beating him. But I don't. Because Logan is right; that's his secret to tell. Today, after a day of obsessing about it, I'm working on my own secret telling.

"Really great, Dad. I'm learning a lot, and my professors are amazing. And Logan's fine too."

"That's good! You're figuring out how to get along better since the last time we talked?"

Biting my nail, I close my eyes at my own stupidity. The last time we talked I may have complained just a bit about Logan since I was still irritated by the fact that he ate the last pieces of bread the night before and didn't buy any more for breakfast the next morning.

"Yes. We're getting along much better…" Behind my eyelids, the image of Logan's head between my thighs flashes, and I quickly shake my head to get it out. "...we were still adjusting to each other's quirks when we talked. Everything's fine now."

My father chuckles, and I smile as I pull my feet up under me on the bed. "Perfectly normal. I know my little quirks still irritate your mother, and we've been married for almost twenty years."

I take a deep breath, gathering my courage to carry the conversation forward. "So how's Mom doing? Does she still like working at the florist shop?"

Dad pauses and exhales loudly. "You know, that didn't really work out for her. I think she may try getting some skill retraining before she tries to get on with another business."

"Oh, no! She was so excited about it when I talked to her a few weeks ago."

"Yes, well, Lianne's just not used to working at a shop anymore. She was having trouble making it into work on time."

Covering my lips with my fingers, I shake my head. Shit.

"That's...that's kind of why I called you at work instead of at home, Dad. How is she doing with me being gone? Honestly."

Another sigh and I hear the squeak of my dad's old desk chair moving in the background before he speaks. "Not going to lie, Veronica. Having an empty nest is hard on your mother. I'm thinking of calling in a counsellor again to help her find some direction."

It's now or never. This is my in.

"Dad? Is Mom drinking again?" I ask in a whisper. "Is that why she lost her job?"

"Why would you ask that, Veronica?"

His voice is calm. Too calm. It was the kind of calm he used when I was six, and he sat me down to tell me my hamster, Peanut Butter, was dead.

"I'm asking that, Dad, because I know she has a problem with alcohol." I take a slow, deep breath, and when he doesn't interrupt my pause, I continue. "I've helped her hide it most of my life. All the times I came home from school and she was passed out on the couch so I would make dinner. All the afternoons when she picked me up after Debate Club and I would have to drive us back home because I could smell the alcohol on her breath. All the nights you would work late and I would have to tuck her into bed."

My father releases a long sigh into the phone. "Oh, Veronica."

"It kind of just worked because I remember how you used to take care of her all those times when she was sick when I was little—the buckets near the bed, the tomato juice with breakfast. I remember it all."

"I didn't know that you knew, Veronica. I'm sorry. I thought that it only happened once in a while —when she went out with friends or got carried away alone at home."

"It's not your fault, Dad. That's why I'm calling—because it's my fault too. She led me to believe that if she was sent to a rehabilitation centre, she would never come back. So I helped her—enabled her—because I didn't want her to disappear."

"What? How did she convince you of that?"

"A school friend—Dick Casablancas—his mother went to rehab and never came back. I thought that was just what happened—if you were an alcoholic or a drug addict, they locked you up like a criminal. But yesterday, Logan told me that wasn't the case, that Dick's mother ran off with some man she met at the facility; that's the real reason why she didn't return. I overheard mom talking about it with her friends once, and she told me that was what would happen to her, so I kept it a secret, from you, from everyone."

"Veronica...I...I don't know what to say…."

"You don't need to say anything, Dad. I just wanted you to know, in case her drinking got worse with me not around, so you could get her the help she needs." I pause, hoping he'll jump in, but when he doesn't, I work to fill the awkward space. "Lilly told me that when there are problems between Logan and I that I should confront it head-on and not run away. I thought a lot about that today, which is why I called sooner than later."

"Well, I'm glad you did, Veronica," he starts slowly and I can hear the emotion in his voice now. "It shows a level of maturity that I'm proud to hear you've gained. Unfortunately, it may not be one your mother possesses at her age."

Harsh, but unfortunately true. I wish I could see dad's face to read his expression. Is he angry? Sad? Or just bitter that this has come out now that he's alone to deal with it?

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything, Veronica."

"Do you know why Mom drinks?"

Is it because of me? That's what I really want to know but don't have the guts to say out loud.

Dad's response is a heavy sigh. "Veronica, you're being honest with me, and so I'll be honest with you. Before your mother was partnered with me, she was in love with someone else. It didn't work out, and so she applied to be part of The Orwell Project when it was launched, back when it was voluntary. That's how we were matched and even though we made it work on some level, she never really got this other man out of her heart. I never knew who it was but it still fills her with a deep sense of sadness to this day."

My stomach turns. My mother almost found someone the old fashioned way. And it may have ruined her life.

"Oh Dad…I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. This is just how things worked out and now that I know more, I will make sure your mother gets the help she needs." He pauses and I hear the squeaking of the chair again and I imagine him leaning back as he often did, scratching his balding head. There was a comfort to just thinking about him in this way. "My hope for you, Veronica, is that you are able to find some happiness with Logan so you don't end up with the demons your mother seems to have."

As if sensing his cue, Logan comes through the door, clutching two large paper bags from the shop in his arms. He frowns and jerks his head at the phone and I smile, my heart leaping in my chest with joy just at seeing his face.

"You don't have to worry. Logan and I are very happy with our match."

"Very happy with your match, huh?" Dad chuckles and I catch Logan grinning like an idiot at me as he places the bags on the counter.

"Yes, very, very happy." I wink at Logan and he quickly pulls off his shoes and jacket, walking towards me.

"Well, that makes me happy to hear, Veronica."

Logan leans over to kiss the top of my head and a tickle of excitement runs through me as he sits down behind me on the bed.

"I mean, he still leaves wet towels on the bed, but not as often," I tease.

Logan kisses my neck, and I squeak in shock, giggling as he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me almost into his lap.

My dad laughs into the phone. "I take it he's there now?"

Swatting my hand playfully at Logan, I wriggle from his grasp. "Yes. He just got home from class."

"Well, while he's there, ask him if he'll be staying with us when you come home for the holidays in December or with his folks?"

I glance over my shoulder at him and bite my lip. I know what his answer will be without question.

"He'll be staying with us for the holidays."

Logan's arms squeeze me tightly, and he kisses my shoulder. Knowing now what I know, there is no way in hell he's going anywhere near Aaron again if I can help it.

"That's good to hear. Gives me a chance to get to know him better."

"I'd like that, Dad. I'd like that a lot."

Logan rises from his spot behind me and plants another kiss on my head before crossing back to the kitchen, his focus returning to our groceries.

"But in the meantime, I don't want you to worry about your mother, Veronica. You focus on your studies and your relationship." He lets out another deep sigh as his voice turns serious again. "And if you can, please go and talk to one of the college counsellors about this. This is a pretty big secret to carry around, and I want you to talk to a professional about your feelings. Your mother should never have done this to you, and I'm ashamed that I didn't know it was happening. I'm so sorry."

Tears prickle my eyes and I blink them back. "You have no reason to apologize. This was Mom's lie. I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize what was happening."

I catch Logan looking back at me with concern in his eyes, his lips pursed in a tight line, but he says nothing.

"I love you, Veronica." My father's voice cracks with emotion across the line. "I'll call you when I have some news about your mother's situation. But for now, I need to go back to work."

"Love you too, Dad. Goodbye," I whisper back before the line goes dead.

Disconnecting the call, I stand and walk over to the kitchen to return the phone to its stand. Logan reaches out his hand and takes it from me as I approach, but I keep my distance. I feel raw inside. Hollow. How could I go from feeling so loved just hours ago to feeling so emotionally empty and alone inside?

When Logan's hand caresses for my shoulder, I move away, crossing my arms in front of me. I don't know why, but the idea of being touched right now doesn't appeal to me at all. He frowns and returns to putting away the groceries.

"So...that was your dad."

"Yeah. It was."

He tosses a quick side glance at me. "Did you talk to him about me?"

"Yes," I state, but when I see his eyes go wide in shock, I realize what he must have meant. "I mean, no! No! We talked about you in general, but I didn't tell him about Aaron."

The fear drops from his eyes, and he nods, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning his shoulder against the edge of the wall, focusing all his attention on me for the moment. "Okay. So what did you talk about to make you suddenly so cool to my touch?"

I let out a little moan of emotional agony and rub my face with my palms before stuffing my hands into the pocket of the hoodie. "My mom. I told him about the secret I've been hiding about her drinking. And he told me that the catalyst was her deep unhappiness over losing a man she loved nearly two decades ago. How messed up is that?"

"Wow. That's crazy."

"Yeah. It is. But I don't want to think about it anymore. I've thought about my mom and you and Aaron and then my mom again all day. I need to be a productive member of the human race again." Walking around him, I reach into the second bag and pull out a bunch of bananas, placing them in the fruit bowl in the corner of the counter. "Tell me about your day. Please. We didn't get long to talk when you stopped by at lunch."

Logan turns away from the wall and goes back to pulling things out of the other bag, opening our cupboard to put a couple of bags of cheesy puffs and chips inside. "My day was fine. We were given some study time at the end of my last class, so I decided to leave early and pick up some supplies for us at the store on the way home." He sucks in a sharp breath and pauses before exhaling. "That's where Duncan caught up to me."

"Duncan? I thought he would be done with us after yesterday." I pause what I'm doing and frown up at Logan.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Not when you were supposed to meet him to discuss your project. He came looking for me because you weren't in class. He wanted to know about your project and obviously was too chicken shit to ever knock on our door again."

"What did you tell him?"

"That we had so much sex that you couldn't walk to class and had to stay in bed."

"Logan!" I slap his shoulder with the back of my hand, and he laughs.

"I'm kidding! But he was following me around the shop, asking me all sorts of questions I couldn't answer about your project, so I told him you had your period and decided to stay home." He reaches into the bag and pulls out a box of tampons and hands them to me with a smirk. "Decided to pick these up in front of him to make the lie seem legit."

A sharp laugh escapes me as I reach for the box, shaking my head. "Oh my God, you're the best!"

Logan shrugs, glancing back into the depths of the bag before folding it. "I feel like my old friend is not as comfortable around female anatomy as I am, even if we were in the same health classes."

And at that moment, all the stress of the day just washes away. Dropping the box on the counter, I reach up and wrap my arms around Logan's shoulders and plant a soft kiss on his lips as he squeezes me tightly to him.

"I'm glad you're comfortable around me and my anatomy."

His hand pats my butt cheek as he playfully wiggles his eyebrows at me. "I adore every inch of your anatomy immensely. Especially that little beauty mark on your inner thigh I discovered last night. It's my favourite."

Heat sweeps through me again as I remember him kissing down my naked body, telling me he wanted to memorize every part of me while he teased me with only his lips on my skin. He must be remembering the same thing because when he kisses me, it's firm and warm, lingering as I pull myself higher on my tiptoes to keep us together. When we part, I keep myself nose to nose with him, my cheeks hurting from the wide grin spread across my face.

"This brings me to another thing I was thinking about…." I start slowly, watching the twinkling happiness in his eyes. "How would you feel about some new rules about sex?"

"Mmmm...if you mean ones like on even days your every wish is my command, and on odd days we switch?"

"No." I laugh, and he forces a silly pout across his lips. "I mean, maybe we try and keep sex to bedtime hours. I did work a little on my project to try and catch up from time lost to sex this weekend. Remember how we joked that we would fail our classes? Well, I realized if we keep up this pace, we might as well drop out now and get it over with."

"Fair assessment. But what about Friday nights? We usually just read or hang out with our friends that night anyway. Maybe we can institute Fool Around Fridays and get it out of our system for the weekend?" he offers in response.

"Oh my God, I can't believe we're scheduling sex."

"That doesn't sound like a no to Fool Around Fridays?"

"Fine." I laugh. "If you think Fool Around Fridays is the solution to our mutual distraction then we'll try it."

"Okay then. F.A.F. it is."

When I laugh again, he cups my behind in his hands and lifts me up as I squeal and plants me directly onto the counter. Looking down on him, I cradle his face in my hands and lean in for a long, soft kiss. With a contented sigh, I release him, gazing into his eyes.

"Well, now that the sex part of the conversation is settled, I have two more items to cross off my list before we move on."

His nose wrinkles as his eyes narrow at me. "I didn't know this was a meeting."

"It's a meeting while kissing." I lean down and give him a quick peck on the lips for emphasis. "Makes it more fun."

"Let me just say you had way too much time to think today, but do go on. Let's have the next action item on your list so we can get back to making out properly, please."

Dropping my palms to his shoulders, I take a deep breath, releasing it when I speak. "I think we shouldn't give up on Duncan."

"Ugh. Veronica…"

"Just hear me out. I think we need to find out more about this group Duncan is in—this C.H.A.D. business—and report it to the authorities if needed. I figured maybe I can ask Parker if anyone has approached her about it, since she's a single female, and you can ask around about it with any single men in your class." Logan rolls his eyes at me and huffs, but I ignore him and continue. "I still feel like we owe it to Lilly to watch out for him, that's all. And if we end up protecting some innocent women from God knows what that's going on with this group, then that's a positive too. And, of course, to save Duncan from his own fool self."

He huffs again and pauses, contemplating my words. "If I say yes, will this get us back to kissing faster?"

"Logan! I'm being serious."

"Fine! We'll look into it. For Lilly. And obviously for your peace of mind too."

"Thank you." I smile and reward him with another small kiss, my stomach knotting as I approach my final point.

"Okay, so now that's one more item off the agenda. What's the last thing you want to talk about, Veronica?"

I cringe and hold my breath for a second, gathering my nerve to say what I need to say. "Aaron. I want to talk about you turning in Aaron."

Logan

Fuck. Why did I think she would just leave it alone? Of course, she wants to talk about Aaron.

"Veronica…"

I start to step back, but her fingers clamp down on my shoulders, and if I move back anymore, she'll fall off the counter. At this point, I'm surprised she hasn't hooked her legs around me to keep me from running.

"Just hear me out," she states. "You are under no obligation to do so, but I want you to consider talking to my father about your abuse when we go back for the holidays."

Fear rises in my chest. This whole discussion terrifies me but I try to hold it in as best I can, hoping she doesn't notice.

"You'll be staying with me and my family, so you'll be safe," Veronica continues quickly. "And we can figure out a way to keep your mom safe too. Maybe my mom and her can go holiday shopping together or get manicures or something. We can get her out of the house, and you can tell my dad and he can swoop in and put Aaron behind bars."

An ironic chuckle rises in my throat and I shake my head. "That's a lovely little plan you have in your head."

"Are you mocking me?" Veronica's voice is tinged with anger.

"No! Not at all." I step closer to her and wrap my arms around her waist. "It's just surreal to share the same fantasy of Aaron finally going to jail because of what he's done to me with you. Because trust me, Veronica, no one has spent more time imagining scenarios in which Aaron is sent to live life in a nuclear zone than me."

"Well, good. Because making sure justice is served to Aaron has occupied a lot of space in my brain over the last forty-eight hours."

Exhaling, I press my forehead to hers and close my eyes as she removes her hands from my shoulders, sliding them down, so they rest in the small of my back. Ever since she discovered my scars, I've noticed her hand naturally falling to the spot as if she can magically remove them with her touch. When we got out of the shower, I let her look at them closer, laying myself bare to her as I had never done before. Lilly chose to ignore them, but Veronica is different—she needs to know—and there was no point in hiding them anymore.

"I should expect no less from a future judge." I feel her breath on my lips when she gives a small laugh, and I open my eyes to meet hers. "Can I think about it some more before then? Please?"

"You can," she says quietly. "My father suggested that I talk to a counsellor about my mother. I know you can't talk to one now, or they will report the abuse, but I want you to think about it for the future. If you tell my father and Aaron is put away, then we can come back to school, and you can get the help you need to move on from it. Because when you said you were 'fucked up inside,' it broke my heart to know that the man I love was in so much pain. And I just want you to be out of your pain, Logan. That's all I want."

My heart aches, and I feel like I'm caught between crying and screaming in anger that Aaron did this to me, to us. When her lips reach mine, I don't resist, letting myself fall into her love. As she parts her lips, my tongue finds hers, and she moans, pushing herself against me, her legs finally wrapping around my waist. For now, she seems content to let the topic drop, and I'm satisfied to just stand here and kiss her, forgetting all about Aaron and Duncan.

I can't tell how much time has passed as we slowly brush our lips back and forth, comforting each other from too many big thoughts. When Veronica's hand slips up my t-shirt, coaxing it up, I release her for a split second to pull it over my head before returning to the security of her kiss. We only part again when she pulls away, panting, her cheeks flushed, her pupils big and round.

"You know...if you're still sore—" I say slowly, arching an eyebrow at her as her fingers trail down towards my belt buckle. "—I can always kiss it and make it better."

"Oooooh. I like where your head's at." A devilish grin spreads across her face, and she licks her lips. "I could definitely use some T.L.C."

Gripping her ass, I pull her off the counter, and she wraps her arms around my shoulders firmly. I begin to saunter towards the bed, allowing her time to back out if she wants.

"You realize, we are about to break the first rule you set out about sex during sunlight hours," I tease.

"Oh, well." She shrugs as we reach the foot of the bed. "You win some, you lose some. I'm willing to compromise on this one."

Lowering her gently onto the mattress, I stare down at her smiling face looking back at me, knowing that within minutes she'll be moaning my name while my face is between her legs and suddenly, I'm hard and ready for whatever she wants.

"I'll compromise with you anytime, Bobcat. Anytime."