*Bzzt*

It's -*Bzzt*- Saturday 6:00 AM. Welcome to the IPN broadcast where it's Pokemon from 6-to-9 AM and 9-to-12 PM, everyday. My name is Melly.

"And I'm Bill. I'll be your co-host for this morning."

"For all those new to the International Pokemon Network, you're probably wondering about what goes down on International Pokemon News."

"Well, they could probably guess from the name."

"Absolutely. Here on IPN we bring the cold, hard facts and mind-boggling stories all about Pokemon. Get ready to start your day off strong 'cause we've got stories to tell!"

"And facts to spill."

"So, what's first on the list for today Bill?"

"Well Melly, it seems there's been another scandal at the P.H.O."

"Another!? You'd think, with 'Helper' in the title, they'd have less scandals and more publicity stunts."

"Well, they do have guided tours where you could bring your family to learn more about Pokemon, if you can count it as a publicity stunt."

"Ah, that's right Bill. I heard that the price is pretty steep though, even if you're going alone."

"Well, I heard they give a pretty thorough crash course on Pokemon, which is helpful for young students, and they are a non-government organization with state-of-the-art technology, so it makes sense for it to be pricey."

"Yah, they get money from the people, so any extra bit can help with how volatile it is. Anyways, how'd this scandal come to light?"

"A freelance journalist gave it to a pretty on-the-rise publishing company."

"Aah~ Swampert's Swamp News I'm guessing."

"Actually, Melly, you're right! They have been getting popular lately so it's not too big a surprise."

"Yes! Oh, but don't stop there. Come on Bill, give us all the juicy details."

"Well, 5 days ago a reporter by the name of Julia Heartsworth was stalking out the front gates to P.H.O. when what looked like a government vehicle drove in and out of their main building."

"Looked like? Do you think she saw a real one?"

"I could show you the picture in the article. She got some pretty good shots."

"Oh, wow. Well, they at least look like suspicious vans."

"It seems Miss Heartsworth has some good photos, but the conclusions she has drawn are a bit... extreme. She says that-"

"Oh, wait. Hold on. If anyone wants to see the article, it'll be posted on our web-page. Just remember it's at www . international pokemon news . com, with no uppercase letters. or spaces. Sorry, anyways continue."

"Ehm. According to her article, Miss Heartsworth claims that the P.H.O. is doing immoral experiments on Pokemon to create 'weapons of mass destruction' and shelling the successful ones to the government."

"Ah, now I can see what you meant by extreme."

"Indeed, while I have no concrete proof to say it's wrong, there are many other possibilities that Miss Heartsworth doesn't go into while drawing her conclusion. Like, say, they could be trying to get government funding. They have been a NGO for a while now."

"Or maybe the government or some other high class group is giving Pokemon to the P.H.O.? Though, I have to say, they definitely have the dark and mysterious vibe on lock-down."

"Except for the giant, golden, white-rimmed M on top of the van."

"Say wha~?"

"You can see it in the third picture."

"Wow, what a design. I should definitely get that for my bike!"

"Anyways, that's about all I have to say on this story so what's next?"

"Well, some fun facts of course."

+++Will You Continue Watching?+++

Yes? No?

"So, Bill. Want to guess how many apples a Quagsire can eat at once?"

"uh... 161?"

"Nope, just 1. Their mouths are actually too big and stretchy to eat more than one thing at a time, a Quagsire closes their mouth with more than one piece of food in them, it can slip and get caught down their throats or in front of their teeth and scrape their gums. So, as long as an apple fits in a Quagsire's mouth, they will eat the apples one at a time."

"Then, Quagsires should never eat too quickly, else they might hurt themselves?"

"Well, that's kind of true with any Pokemon, and humans too."

"Fair enough."

*Bzzt*

'That's enough for now.'

"Miriana. Come on, we don't want to be late."

"Coming. I'm just turning off the radio."

*Bzzt*