AN: Hadn't done much Jane stuff. I saw a picture that somebody drew of a raloi that was super awesome. Can't find it again, but it was the inspiration for this one.
Jane, Afterlife, Omega
"Greetings, fellow sentient!" A really, really cheerful voice called from beside her.
Jane was a bit more than intoxicated as well as fairly unhappy. She did not become happier when she saw the...being, talking to her. She was, however, very bewildered.
"Are...you a giant bird in a spacesuit?" Jane blinked. She had a lot to drink. Not that much. Maybe the bartender put something in her drink or something. It was batarian.
But...it was, in fact, a giant bird in a spacesuit.
Kinda pretty actually. Its feathers seemed to be a warm nutty brown that darkened as they got to the tips. Dark grey strips ran along the outer edges of the top feather layer. Under Its clear visor, its emerald green eyes were wide, and mostly binocular, not quite owl-like, but close. The beak was rather small, also much like an owl, but this alien's mouth ran a bit wider than the beak. And, naturally, it didn't have the physical capacity to speak languages that needed lips, it had chosen a female sounding translator voice.
"I am of the raloi people!" the cheerful bird spoke. It was interesting to note, that the bird-person's mouth didn't actually move very much as it seemed to speak, giving the impression that it did most of its vocalization from the throat. At last! A language John won't be able to learn!
"Uh...huh…" Jane looked the 'raloi's suit over slowly. It was a environmental containment suit, that was for sure. It was noticeably bulkier that quarian suits, but that was almost a given. They had gotten making enviro-suits to a literal artform. This one looked like a very slimmed down version of the old human spacesuits used in the later twentieth and early twenty-first century. Even down to the white coloring. "What's with the suit?"
"Pardon?" the raloi smiled and blinked. "I'm terribly sorry, but I didn't quite hear that. This group entertainment room is exceptionally noisey! And why are there scantily clad...sentients...dancing? Is that the right word? Are they attempting to attract mates?"
Jane stared for another moment then laughed, herself. "Yeah, you could say they are trying to attract mates. But mostly so that they can make money," Jane half shouted.
"They...make money by mating?" the raloi looked slightly confused as it tilted it's head slightly.
"Yup," Jane laughed again. "Not sure how it is for your people, my fine feathered friend, but there are people that mate for the pleasure of it."
"Ah! Of course! Sensual arts!" the Raloi beamed for a moment then turned thoughtful. "Beings here charge money for the service? Do they not have medical insurance?"
Jane, caught by surprise, blinked. "Medical?"
"Indeed!" the raloi grinned again. "Wishing to mate and being unable can lead to many medical issues, including, but not limited to heightened aggression, increased stress levels, amongst many others."
"Please pause for a moment," the Raloi almost seemed to frown. "I must apologize. The translators we have are not perfected yet, and thus somethings do not translate as well as they should. To compensate, the Council has given us this 'omnitools' to help us. It had just caught up to a phrase you had said but I had missed verbally."
"Sure thing," Jane shrugged as she downed the last of her really shitty beer. Picking up the bottle, she waved it over the bird-person's head to catch the attention of the bartender. She didn't want to be sober yet, especially when meeting a new species.
"Oh my!" the raloi exclaimed, its large green eyes blinking rapidly. Its mouth open in a stunned looking, gap mouth smile as it leapt upon Jane, wrapping it's slightly over long, arms around her. Jane noticed, absently, that the raloi had four fingers on each hand, in addition to the thumb, and that it's arms, while the suit seemed extra bulky, were soft. Probably more feathers…
"Uh...what's with the cuddles there, bub," Jane raised an eyebrow as she leaned back. She didn't push the alien away, but she did look at it a bit concerned.
"You called us 'friend'!" the raloi exclaimed, as it nuzzled Jane's shoulder. "None of us expected to be accepted into a flock at all! Let alone so quickly!"
"Flock?" Jane blinked.
"We are now a flock! Do we have others? Are we a new flock? Where do we nest?" the raloi hopped up and down slightly as it made a cooing noise that reminded Jane of the rock doves that lived in her grandparents backwoods.
"Umm," Jane really had no idea what to do or say. If you wanted stuff killed, she was your girl. She was not particularly the first person one would think of when you wanted a good impression on another species. "Maybe we should start with names?"
"Oh! Yes!" the raloi stepped back from Jane and hopped up onto the stool next to her. "I am-" The the raloi made a rather impressive bird trill. It sounded kind of like a kookaburra getting sodomized by an aggressive crow.
"Yeah…There is no way I can say that," Jane shook her head as she took a long pull off her beer. "I'll just call you Megan."
"Yes! I understand," Megan nodded.
"I'm Jane. It is a pleasure to meet you, Megan," Jane smiled as she tipped her beer to the…. hmm. … "Oh, suppose I should ask, are you male, or female?"
"Female, Friend Jane," Megan nodded enthusiastically. "Raloi males are much more brightly colored. And their head crests generally require special helmets.
"Pff...men," Jane snorted shaking her head. "Oh, hey, want a drink?"
"A beverage?" Megan cocked her head slightly. "I would not mind. What are you drinking?"
"Oh, a beer," Jane swiveled the bottle around. "Mild grain alcohol. Not very good, really."
"What?" Megan jumped to her feet and pulled the bottle from Jane's grasp. "We just met! We are a flock! You can't poison yourself!"
Jane sat for a moment blinking as she processed Megan's words. Then, she laughed. She laughed hard "Oh...oh goddess….hee hee...Megan, you are too precious for this universe…."
"Friend Jane, I do not understand the humor of attempted suicide!" Megan put the bottle onto the bar top as she grabbed Jane's shoulders "Come! I will get you medical help!"
Jane allowed herself to be steered away from the bar as Megan pushed her along. They circled the dance floor and headed towards the door before Jane finally dug in her heels. "Ha! Okay, Megan, it's fine! I wasn't killing myself. Alcohol is just a mild depressive drug. We use it for both pleasure, as well as its mental numbing properties!"
"You do?" Megan's eyes were wide as Jane turned around and nodded, gesturing to a table.
"Most species do," Jane chuckled as the pair sat. "How did somebody as innocent as you end up on Omega, of all places?"
"Oh, well," Megan tilted her head. "There was a six eyed alien on the Citadel that said I could make a lot of money and prestige for my people if I went with him."
"And you he brought you here?" Jane growled leaning forward. "Fucking batarians…."
"Oh, no!" Megan smiled. "He took me to another planet. I forget what it was named. Then I went on another ship. The accommodations were not very comfortable. I think it was some sort of emergency vessel, considering the sick and wounded people. We stopped at a space station, and I wanted to see it, so I unlocked the door, which was probably for safety, and went out. Some other things happened. There were asari. Some large aliens that said words to tell you what they meant. I think there was an explosion. I hope everybody got out alright, now that I think about it."
"Okay…" Jane frowned is confusion as she sat back up. Megan was either a top grade moron, or the greatest spy that ever lived. She took a breath as she pushed her realk back, running her hand through her hair.
"Goodness!" Megan perked up as she stared at Jane's hair for a moment before reaching out and...preening it? "Such a vivid color! I assumed you were female, judging by your...what is the word the human on the ship taught me...titties?"
*Snk* Jane snorted, slapping a hand over her mouth and laughing silently. Megan was her new favorite alien ever.
"No, Megan, I'm female. My people don't separate color like I believe yours does," Jane fought it back to a chuckle. "We also don't touch each other's….crests, without asking, usually."
Megan's eyes went wide as she snatched back her hand, as it it were burned. "I am so sorry, Friend Jane! I didn't mean to offend! Members of flocks often preen each other as a matter of bonding!"
"Nah, it's fine," Jane waved a hand dismissively as she pulled the realk back over her head. "I don't care. Just more of a warning in general. Always good to ask before touching."
"Oh! Well! Thank you very much," Megan gave that wide beaked smile that Jane just adored.
"Hey! Fucking Suit rat!" a rough voice came from behind Megan as a drunk human, accompanied by a pair of turians and a salarian swaggered up to the table. Well...more like stumbled, but Jane knew what they meant. "Hey!"
"Friend Jane," Megan blinked looking at the group. "Are...these members of our flock?"
"Oh, goddess no!" Jane laughed. "These are mean people who think they can beat us up. They probably don't have any real balls, so they go for us."
"I see!" Megan nodded. "So, you are saying they have very small genitalia, and are, therefore, being overly aggressive to compensate?"
"Hey!" the human man...stank, at them.
"More or less, yeah," Jane smirked.
"And they think we are prey species?" Megan blinked a couple of times, seemingly processing what Jane had told her.
"Fucking rats better-" the man reached a hand out to grab at Jane, but, instead, her fist snapped up in a small uppercut, striking the man right in his small genitalia. He staggered back into his friends making a high pitched sound that seemed to be unpleasant for Megan.
With a sigh, Jane unhooked her visor from the small catch on the belt of her suit and looked at Megan. "I am good friends with quarians. They are abused a lot by assholes like these guys, and because I dress like a quarian, they think they can hurt me."
"That is very unpleasant," Megan seemed to frown. "Sentients should not treat other sentients in such a way, no matter what kind of cloaca they may have!"
"I agree," Jane nodded as she stood up. "But, I am a soldier. And I am angry. So I am going to kick the living shit out of these pricks. You sit right there and be safe."
Jane turned before Megan could say anything and waved her arm at Aria's balcony. "Hey! Aria! I'm going to fuck these guys up! That okay?"
Aria raised a brow as she leaned out slightly, as if to see whom Jane was talking about before shrugging. She then made the universal, 'have fun' gesture.
"Thanks, boys," Jane laughed darkly as she clicked her visor into place. "I was having a pretty crappy day before meeting my friend Megan. And you just haaaad to go and mess it up again."
The turians looked at Jane, and stood up fully, dropping the human to the floor where he curled up into a small ball. The salarian reached behind himself and pulled a large jagged looking knife and smiled a cruel smile.
"Friend Jane," Megan stood up and stepped next to Jane. She pulled a cylinder from the leg of her enviro-suit and flicked a button. As she did, a seeming electric charge crackled on the end of the cylinder for a moment before a sword blade, a good four feet long, and right inches across, just above the hilt, seemed to flow into being. "We are a flock! We fight together!"
That was when everything turned into magic and rainbows.
This is Alliance News Network, this is Emily Wong
Chaos in the Citadel's Embassy Towers as new species member goes missing.
Yes, you heard me correctly! A member of the Raloi diplomatic team, the first group of the mysterious new avian species, has gone missing!
The raloi are and avian species from the planet of Turvess. They made first contact with Citadel species when they deployed their space telescope and discovered the asari cruiser Azdes.
The Azdes had, literally, stopped in the raloi's home system to discharge their drive core and have lunch!
The raloi have since been welcomed to the galactic community when the council sent a delegation to Turvess, accompanied by several sold-out shuttles bering curious onlookers and welcoming gifts. As you might recall, the krogan representative, as well as his second were killed when they attempted to introduce the violent sport known as kowla.
It turned out that the raloi were much stronger than they looked, as the krogan deaths were, seemingly, complete accidents.
When asked, Krogan High Chief, and former ally of Commander Shepard, Urdnot Wrex, hd this to say: "Yeah, no, Kuiilk was an idiot anyway. The raloi did me a favor, really. Kinda looking forward to seeing how this all plays out though. Wonder what the Council with do to screw them over?"
The raloi dispatched there own delegation to the Citadel proper for a year long study of intragalactic law, history, alien biology and Mass Physics.
It was from this group that the raloi known as….Bob...Bob, I can't say this. No...no. No I'm not even going to try.
Anyway, the female raloi is of a brownish coloring and, like all the raloi, is wearing a white enviro-suit until it is clear whether or not they have the proper immunities to current viruses and bacterias.
The raloi delegation itself seemed not terribly concerned, stating, and I quote, 'She'll come back when she is done looking around.'
Citadel Council diplomatic services, however, urge any people that may encounter this wayward raloi to contact their nearest representative. A reward of up to one-hundred thousand credits is being offered for tips leading to her rescue.
Thanks for tuning in, this is Emily Wong, Alliance News Network, signing off.
Jane, Corsair Ship Perugia
"Hey, this is Megan," Jane said casually as she stepped onto her bridge. "Everybody say 'hi'."
A chorus of confused 'hellos', 'huhs' and 'what the's' came from around the bridge as life seemed to come to a screeching halt.
"Greeting, fellow senietns!" Megan waved as she gave her open beaked grin. "I am pleased to join your flock! Friend Jane described your activities as quite fun, and I look forward to working with you!"
"Umm… Captain," Kalla stood from the command chair. "If I may, where did you encounter this...interesting individual?"
"Hmm?" Jane glanced up from her omnitool as she walked into the bridge proper. "Oh, Megan and I killed a bunch of people in Afterlife. Aria said I had to take her with me, seeing as how I started the mess. Besides, Megan is fun."
"I am pleased to hear that you feel that way, friend Jane!" Megan clapped her hands together. "There is much for me to learn, I am not sure where to start!"
"Well, what can you do?" Kalla frowned slightly.
"I am skilled in fifteen different self-defense styles, proficient in most small and large arms...oh...well," Megan paused as she pondered for a moment. "I suppose that only really counts on arms from my planet. My people have just joined the Council and have much to learn, so that we can properly become a contributing member of the space faring peoples."
"So...marine?" Kalla shrugged, and glanced at Jane.
"Nah, don't want to throw her into combat like that," Jane shook her head as she began skimming her mail. "I'll have Kal'Reegar teach her about our weapons, but that can wait for a bit. I was actually thinking of having her do a rotation with each of the stations here on the bridge. Maybe we can see if she has any natural aptitudes and go from there."
"I see," Kalla ran a hand over his visor as he sighed deeply. "And do you have a quarters idea in mind, or should I have her sleep with everybody, one at a time?"
Jane frowned and looked up at Kalla. "You're a might snippy today."
"Yes, well, one would think that you would have consulted me before bringing a new alien on board," Kalla sniffed.
"Yeah, you'd have thought," Jane snorted. "Circumstances, mister Kalla, do not always allow for luxuries. For the moment, she will bunk with me, in my quarters. We'll work out the particulars later."
"Is...there an issue with my joining your flock?" Megan frowned slightly as she seemed to deflate a bit. "I do not wish to cause any harm."
"Oh, come on!" Garcia stood from his compartment. If Jane didn't know better, she would have thought he was sparkling. "How can you do that to such an adorable bird!"
"Yeah, you bully!" Lema swiveled her chair around, giving Kalla a dark look.
"Fine," Kalla threw his hands up as he turned away. "Have it your way."
"Yay!" Garcia and Lema gave each other a high-five as they approached the confused raloi.
"So, what do you eat?" Lema asked first, pulling up her omnitool. "I should make sure we have the proper provisions."
"Oh, *skkleuynkkk*, usually," Megan seemed to perk up a bit as she engaged the pair of eager bridge crew. "But I can get by with anything that has the proper proteins."
"Hmm...didn't get through the translator," Lema tapped at her indicator light. Let's start with amino acids. Are yo levo, or dextro based?"
"I believe I am levo," Megan blinked as she glanced at Jane.
"That's what the scans say," Jane shrugged as she sat in her command seat.
"Okay….grains, meats, fluids?" Lema nodded as she began skimming through the ship's stock.
"I see," Megan nodded. "My people normally subsist of blood."
"Uh….what?" Garcia's eyes widened.
"Blood," Megan repeated, smiling. "Our tongue is designed to drain fluids from prey." She punctuated her sentence by sticking out a long fleshy tube from her beak. It was pink with what looked like serrated teeth on the end. It reminded Jane of a lamprey mouth.
"Wicked!" Garcia leaned in, almost awkwardly close.
"That word is translated as a negative, but your tone indicated that it was a positive," Megan's tongue zipped back into her mouth as she looked confused. She didn't actually seemed concerned by Garcia's physical proximity, in fact, if anything, she leaned even closer as she examined his face.
"Oh, sorry," Garcia chuckled as he stepped back. "I meant it as I find your method of feeding, as well as your tongue, there, to be really interesting. It's so different from my people, they actually might find it a bit off putting, but I happen to find it neat."
"Yeah," Lema nodded, eye the raloi's beak. "A lot of species might be uncomfortable with that. Maybe warn them ahead of time, as to what to expect before whipping that out." The Lema's eyes widened slightly as she held up her hands. "No offense intended!"
"Of course!" Megan smiled widely. "We are a flock! You are giving me information I might need in order to better live! There is no offense in such a matter!"
"I am glad you feel that way," Lema nodded. "So, are you going to rest up, or would you like a tour of the ship? My shift is up in ten minutes."
"Hey, no fair!" Garcia frowned, looming over Lema. "I'm off in twenty and wanted to show her around!"
"Goddess," Jane grunted. "Set us a course for Bekenstein and you can call your relief early and the two of you show her around." Jane then turned to her new crew member and grinned. "And Megan, welcome to a life of piracy."
"Oooo…" Megan cooed much like a dove as she nodded. "I don't know what that means, but I am looking forward to learning!"
Quarian Lexicon
Realk: Cloth covering used by the quarians. It is used to describe not just the hood seen on most but any material adornment.