AM: Didn't see this shit coming didja?

AN2: Godamn I forgot editing format here is a bitch

Gerald Fallwyn, Palavan, South Archology, West

*GRK*

"Sh, sh, shhhh…" Gerald shushed as his elbow locked under the would-be assassin's neck. His cloak flickered slightly as he jerked the man over the small minibar. All in all, it wasn't a bad little apartment. Nice view, not big, but not too small. Hell, it had a minibar.

*crack*

With a quick twist, the other man's neck popped. Eww…. Never get used to that, Gerald shuddered slightly as he carefully set the body down.

"How's it going?" a perky voice chimed in, startling him to death. Or nearly. He was pretty sure his heart almost leapt out of his chest. "Hallway is still clear, by the way."

"Could be better," Gerald grunted, turning the speakers in his helmet down some.

"What's wrong? Should I come in?" he could hear the note of worry in Solana's dual-toned voice. Must be a side benefit of working with Garrus so long. This time it made him feel a bit bad though.

"No, it's fine," Gerald was quick to assure Solana. "You surprised me. Sneaking into a murderer-slash-sniper's room usually isn't the time I have my best one liners." A quick peek around the corner confirmed the last three targets didn't notice his little slip up.

"Shit...Sorry," Solana groaned.

"Don't be sorry, be quiet."

"Sor...fuck!"

Gerald let out a small chuckle. He was positive she didn't get the joke she had inadvertently dropped. He also didn't miss that she used human curses. "Do you even know what that word means?" Naturally he decided to take advantage of it.

"What, fuck?" her voice was so innocent….

"Yeah, it's a term used for intercourse."

"Eeep!" Gerald blinked. He was unaware turians could make that sound. It was some sort of combination of a songbird chirp and a squawk.

"You just propositioned me." Of course he was going to keep poking. He was getting along with her a bit too well. If he wasn't careful she might try to be his friend. "I'd be happy to, but I'm pretty sure I'm too much for a lady with such a little waist."

"..."

Nothing. Perfect… with a nod to himself Gerald reached up to a small knife block on the counter above him and drew a pair of heavy knives that reminded him of overly large chef's knives.

With a half crouch, Gerald moved forward slowly, minimizing the distortion of his cloak. It was a bit more difficult than he remembered it being. Well...he had put on a bit of weight… And spent most of his time at a computer monitor these days. Or drinking. Or both.

Three targets. Closest to him was a slender fellow, a small pistol was on the coffee table next to where he stood. Wait...is it still a coffee table if the people didn't have coffee?

Next was kneeling at the window, a pair of binocs held up as he scanned the building across the road. Didn't anybody tell him peeping was a crime? And creepy?

Third man was probably the dangerous one. She wore light armor as she kneeled on a chair. It was turned so that the back was facing the window, her knee on the seat and used the chair back to sight her long rifle. Ugh... Military… Ah, well. Might as well get this show moving.

He slashed out with his right hand. He could feel the blade bite into the back of the first one's knee, the tendons snapping and spinning him. Coming up Gerald's left knife swung up, catching the man under his chin and going straight into his brain.

The man with the binocs barely had a chance to process the sound behind him before he found a knife stabbing into his right kidney. There was a hard jerk further to the right, slicing the organ in half. He was dead in a second as his blood poured out of the wound like a gruesome waterfall.

Then it went sideways. The woman was a bit better trained than the standard military Gerald had assumed. The fist man's body barely hit the floor when the second man let out a sad gurgle. But it seemed that was enough of a warning to get Gerald a solid crack from the sniper rifle's butt into his visor, stumbling him back.

If asked, the eeriest part was how utterly silent she was as she kicked his ass. Normally these things had a certain amount of bluster. Some back and forth. "I'll fuck your mother", "I'll fuck your mother". Stuff like that. Hell, even a "ha!" or "ho!" as she swung her hammers. And they had to be hammers. Nobody had fists that hit like that and wasn't krogan. Okay, except Shepard.

A final crack to the temple of his helmet spiderwebbed the visor and spun him bodily in the air before he crashed on his back splintering the 'coffee' table. He struggled to draw the air that had been forced from his lungs by the impact as his vision pulled together enough to decide that there was, in fact, only one person standing over him with a rifle pointed at his face.

"Don't suppose we could talk this out?" he croaked. This was so not how he planned to go…

"No."

Okay, he didn't expect her to respond. Her voice had an odd tone to it. Dieing with that stupid of a puzzle in his head was seriously…

*Crack*

The shot made him flinch. He was secure enough in himself to admit it. When he realized he had enough brain matter to be able to admit things, he cracked open an eye. Then they both shot open in shock.

His would be killer stood, stareing over him. Her left arm hung loose at the bicep. Literally. Blue sparks flashed from the cable holding the arm partially together. Well...at least that explained how she hit so ridiculously hard.

*Crack, Crack*

Two more shots stepped the woman back a pair of steps before her heel caught the chair she had been using as a sniper stand and crashed her to the ground.

Gerald blinked as Solana stepped up, standing over him. The heavy pistol in her hand emptied the clip into the other woman before she made a small satisfied nod.

"Are you alright?" Solana stepped aside and kneeled next to him and helped him into a sitting position. Her three fingered hands had delicate claws, Gerald noticed absently as she unlatched his helmet, and pulled it off. He felt the warm roughness of her skin as she took his face in her hand and turned it toward him. Somehow he could see the actual concern in her inhuman eyes. They were brighter, more electric….

"Uhh...Yeah!" he said a bit louder than he needed to. He blinked again and shook his head. "Yeah, I'm good, sorry. Rang my bell a bit."

Solana tilted her head slightly before giving a slight shrug. "I assume that is another weird human term," she grinned as she stood and offered a hand to him.

"Yeah, you could say that," he chuckled, taking her hand and standing himself.

"Did you mean that?"

"What?" Gerald frowned slightly at Solana's suddenly serious tone.

"You like my waist?" she clarified, taking a step closer to him. Her mandibles inches from his face.

"Uh...yes?" He was a little surprised at the honesty in his answer. When it came to his own people he generally was drawn to those with a bit more...substance. He had never really seen much of the appeal of aliens, in that way. Nothing against it, of course. Just didn't do it for him.

Solana stood in front of him. She had taken off the human style suit jacket she had been wearing when they first met. Now she had just the tight, sleeveless undershirt. It showed off the sleek lines where her chest plates transitioned to her smooth skin. She wore a human style long skirt that hung to knees. Not tight enough to impair movement, but enough to give shape to her legs and hips. And waist. And tight little ass….

"Yes, father," Solana was saying as he popped back to reality. "They are taken care of. No. We're fine." As if feeling her eyes on her, she glanced up and smiled, her mandibles twitching slightly. "Yeah, we'll be back in a little bit. Was a little intense. I think I'm going to have sex with Gerald before we come back." Gerald felt his eyes shoot wide open. Any fogginess was gone in an instant. "No, I'll be carefull. The first aid kit has an antihistamine. Yeah. Oh, there is larrach oil in the kitchen. Yeah...Thanks. See you in a bit."

It took a bit of effort, but Gerald swallowed as Solana's omnitool blinked off. Her smile went a little coy as her fingers popped her skirt open, dropping it to the floor. She took a step forward and crossed her arms at her waist before pulling her shirt over her head and dropping it next to her skirt.

"Well?" she giggled quietly, her claws slid over his chest for a moment before sliding to his side and released one of the clips.

"I..uh...Well...you called my bluff," Gerald took a short step back, but was followed by Solana. She clicked another clip on his chest plate, then hesitated. His gaze went from her finger to her face. The look on her face was a combination of desire, worry and hurt. "Fuck…" Taking a deep breath her took her hand and guided it to the next clip. "Sorry, I just don't often...I mean...I have no fucking clue what I'm doing."

Solana's smile brightened as her mandibles opened wide. Leaning over slightly, she pressed the cool plate of her forehead against his. "You have a lot of scars, huh?" Her fingers clicked again. "Don't worry, I'll show you what to do."

Letting her push him backward toward what he assumed was a bedroom, Gerald nodded. "I hope you'll go easy on me here."

"Mmmm….hope you have good stamina," her tongue slid up his next as she breathed into his ear.

John, Shadow Broker's Ship, Interior, Hagalaz

"Okay, this looks like it," John looked up at an oversized door. It was probably built on the scale above even krogan. "Before we do this, we need to have a calm head."

"I AM calm," Tali growled. John could feel the hiccup through the Bond. She was doing an impressive job of holding her anger inside. She had clearly learned from his ability to hide things from the Bond. He would be proud if it wasn't in this situation. He could even feel her realize he was focusing on her. "John…" the walls on her temper relaxed somewhat, leaking more of a predator's fury.

"C'mon, Tali…" John blinked as he felt his fingertips itch to unsheath claws he didn't have. "This is the endgame. We have to be focused. What is going on?"

"Tali?" Liara hesitated slightly touching the quarian's shoulder.

"He's been talking to me since we landed on the ship," Tali snarled, slapping Liara's hand away. "It started with bribes. Then he showed me footage from the original Normandy. Of John and….Liara...and Ashley."

"He knows his target's weak points," Thane eyed the door and drew the second pistol from his lower back.

"And is cruel," Samara frowned slightly, giving more outward emotion than she usually allowed. A sign of the bonds she had formed.

"Tali...I didn't...John and I never…" Liara swallowed stepping back. Anger warred with worry on her face.

With a huff, Tali began to pace the corridor in front of the door. "I know. I KNOW," her growling rumble made her words sharp. "I know the edited video when I see it. There was no...actual intercourse or anything, It was innuendo. Video strung together without context. If I didn't have a Bond it would have SHATTERED me!" Tali's fist lashed out, smashing into a wall hard enough to dent the metal.

"What else," John crossed his arms, staring at the door with a sharp intensity. He could feel the others looking at him. They were probably confused by his seeming lack of reaction. It was out of character for him, so it wasn't like he could blame them.

Tali paused for a moment before punching square in the back of the head.

"The fuck?!" John stumbled forward and smashed his helmet right into the door he had been trying to use his eye lasers to burn open. With a shake of his head he turned to look at his quarian. She stood with one arm tucked under her chest, the other was still held up in a fist, but the elbow rested on her wrist. Her left leg was cocked at the knee, putting her weight on her right leg and cocking out her hip. The pose was calculated. She knew he thought that particular stance highlighted all the physical parts that made him…. Well….like.

"I appreciate the support John," Tali's voice was still a growl, but held a hint of teasing. Between the rather impressive punch and… suggestive, pose, it took a moment for John to realize he had been sinking into her raw rage. It was so alien...but with the Bond...so familiar.

"He threatened to expose my father," Tali continued as she started reworking the panel next to the door. "But I...ah...nevermind…." Tali's omnitool blinked off as she stepped back from the door. The small light on the control panel flashed from red to green. "Well, now he is saying the information has been sent and the Fleet will erase him, me, John, and Jane."

"Pff, sounds like a pussy," Jack called, as she and Grunt popped open a side door John didn't even know was there.

"Uhh..where's Jacob?" Liara said after a moment.

"Oh. He bravely told us to forge ahead while he bravely held off the enemy," Grunt nodded sagely.

Jacob, Shadow Broker's Ship, Exterior, Hagalaz

"I'll be right back," Jacob said in a falsetto as he shot a mercenary.

"You'll be fine!" his voice was altered low as he tossed a grenade.

"Assholes…."

"Do you need- hey!" Zaeed snapped as he held his arm in front of his face, Jacob's surprised shotgun round eating his shield and scratching his already battered breast plate.

"Oh...it's just you," Jacob sighed while Zaeed lit up a cigar and sat on a duct.

"Yeah, just me," the merc...their merc, anyway, took a puff and shrugged.
"Wanna talk about it?"

John

"I'm telling you this goes someplace important!"

John's shock at the sudden arrival of Jack and Grunt deepened as a familiar dual-toned voice echoed from overhead.

"What were you're going!" an accented human woman warned.

"I can see fine! Don't wor-AAAAGGHHHH!" The first voice combined with some crashes and clatters as it's scream got louder….

"Ah, shit," John sighed just in time for a blue armored ass to break open a vent and smash squarely on John's face, driving them both into a crumpled pile on the floor.

"Told you," Miranda's mirth filled voice was followed by a glowing blue form setting gently to the ground beside them.

"Garrus," John groaned.

"Yes, my best companion?" The turian grunted back.

"I hate you."

"Aww, you're making me blush!"

John, Moments Later

"It's pointless to challenge me, asari. I know your every secret, while you fumble in the dark," the Shadowbroker scoffed, looming over them. He..it? Was fucking HUGE! Like, fucking seriously?

The being wore quite nice suit over its ridiculous frame. Its eight eyes watched every member of the team as it clasped its hands on the top of his desk casually. By sheer mass alone, he dwarfed even grunt.

"I am pleased you brought Archangel," the Shadowbroker continued matter-of-fact. "The bounty on him is still active on Omerga. The irony of that fact with the fact that the Justicar will not reach her...target, is not lost on me, however."

Samara made a sharp intake of breath and glanced at him. "Shepard…"

"Is that right?" Liara gave a contemptuous smirk. "You're a yahg, a pre-spaceflight species that was quarantined to their homeworld for massacring the Council's first contact teams. This base is older than your planet's discovery, so I'm guessing you killed the original Shadow Broker 60 years ago, then took his place. I'm guessing that you were taken from your homeworld by a trophy hunter who wanted a slave or a pet. How am I doing?

There was a pregnant pause. The spines on the Shadowbroker's head seemed to flex slightly.

Liara's eyebrow raised just a touch.

Another long second, before the newly exposed yahg stood slowly. Its triangular mouth ground its teeth as it seethed long, slow breaths.

Liara's head dropped slightly to the side.

"RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The beast snapped. Its massive arms swung down, smashing the desk in half. The ear shattering roar continued as it took a step forward. The yahg's hands dug into the stone of the shattered desk, lifting them as if they were foamboard.

"Ah...good work Liara," Garrus sighed. "Team Shepard at it again."

"BBrrrrrraaaaawwww!" The Shadowbroker continued to bellow and threw the slabs of stone at the group. Stunned by a combination of sheer terror and shock at Liara's wicked burn, they barely had time to attempt to dodge.

The larger section of desk smashed full force into Grunt, breaking further as the krogan was blasted back. He managed to keep his feet, but his left arm was bent at the wrong angle.

A shard from the section barreled into Jack. Her hastily thrown up shield burst like a blue soap bubble, her body flung across the room to crash into the far wall. Her body slid down, leaving a bloody streak.

Thane bent his body back at seemingly supernatural speed. A section of the stone blurred over him so close to his face he could almost feel the texture.

Samara stood strong, her biotic field caught the other half of the thrown desk. Her feet slid across the deck for a couple feet, and her teeth gritted before she was able to crash the stone to the floor in front of her.

Garrus lept. His arms wrapped around Miranda's waist and swung her around, desperately putting her body between her and the incoming masses of stone.

Miranda grunted and fought to keep from a certain blue idiot for knocking the air from her lungs as she didn't fail to notice that he had thrown the pair behind Samara.

John...blinked. Then blinked again as he glanced around himself. "Uh..did he miss?" Tali stood to one side, Liara on the other. The two glanced at John then each other before shrugging.

"Or he wants to do it with his bare hands," Tali's chuckle wavered a bit. "Somebody managed to make him mad."

Liara swallowed and gave a weak smile. "Well...he was picking on my favorite quarian."

"Really?" Tali snorted. "Julip will probably be sad to hear that."

"Guys, can we focus?" John clapped his hands before pulling his crusader from the small of his back. He had no idea what happened to his rifle. He could have sworn he was holding it a moment ago….

Grunt

"That HURT," Grunt snarled as he brushed some of the dust off his face with his good hand. Or good-ish. He noticed his thumb was broken. "Hey, can you use….your…." Grunt's eyes widened as he looked for his little sidekick, only to find her slumped to the floor behind him under a mass of stone.

"JACK!" he bellowed and rushed to her. Thick blood was splattered across the wall leaving a streak down to the limp, frail, squishy, soft human body. Grunt felt the world focus around him, sounds of battle fading behind him as he gripped the stone with his wounded hand. Ignoring the pain seraing through his hand he set himself, slowly lifting, then pushing the stone block to the side.

Kneeling, Grunt just saw a mass of blood and meat in the shape of a human. "Edi!" he called frantically. "Edi! I think Jack broke! She isn't supposed to break! She's supposed to be my invincible sidekick!"

"St..p...yellin'..." Jack murmured weakly as her eyes half opened. "You look terrible."

"Jack!" Grunt fought down the manic smile. "I...what do I do?"

Jack frowned as she looked down at herself, then back to Grunt, then behind him. "Grunt," she looked him in the eyes now.

"Uh...yeah?" she was too calm. Shouldn't she scream, or call him names or something?

"I...I can't feel anything below my neck...I can't move," Grunt shook slightly as he realized Jack was fighting back tears. "I need you to kick that guy's ass for me, okay?"

"I can't!" Grunt shifted around Jack, his hand hovering as he tried to figure out how to pick her up.

"This is gonna hurt," Grunt almost didn't hear Jack's words before he saw blue energy coalesce around his right hand. Then with a sudden flash the biotic field snapped the thumb back into the socket.

"That didn't hurt," Grunt lied looking confused. "What are you...AAAH!" Okay...when the biotic field snapped the bones in his left arm into place hurt. A little bit.

"Use medigel, pussy," Jack chuckled quietly before coughing up a bit more blood than a human probably should.

"Right," Grunt nodded and did as she instructed. He, naturally, totally, didn't sigh as the medi-gel went into his system and bolstered his already unnatural regeneration. He could almost feel the bones knit back together.

"Okay, now," Jack whispered, her eyes closing slowly. "Sic 'em."

Tali

"That's awesome!" John yelled, diving to the side a fraction of a second before the Shadowbroker's onmi-shield plowed past him in a furious charge. John's crusader fired slugs almost a centimeter around into the back of the massive alien, to little effect beyond small flashes of greenish blood. "Think we can do that shield thing with my off hand?"

"Keelah," Tali rolled her eyes as she tossed out Chiktikka. "Go for the optics!"

As Chiktikka spun around the Shadowbroker, it fired a barrage of micro-missiles into the beat's head, eliciting a roar. The Broker turned, lifting its shield to cover itself and giving Samara a chance to unload a full burst into the Broker's exposed side.

"If you're a good boy, John," Tali allowed a chuckle followed by a curse as the Broker caught Chiktikka in his bare hand and smash it into the floor, then, before she had a chance to move it, the Broker's foot smashed down, shattering the poor drone into millions of pieces. "Ah...that'll take a while to fix."

Miranda

"Get off me you asshole," she wasn't above using her biotics to shove the turian carcass off herself. She scrambled top her feet, dusting off her legs as she did her best to take in the battle before her. "Hurry up! We're missing the best part!"

"Seriously?" Garrus snorted and heaved himself up. "You're starting to sound like Grunt."

"Really?" Miranda startled slightly as she watched the krogan in question throw himself bodily onto the Broker's giant orange shield and pull it down, twisting the Broker's arm at a clearly painfull angle. Grunt set himself inplace, locking the Broker down enough for Thane to step under its guard, his two pistols fired rapidly into the Broker's belly.

With a shake of her head, Thane slipped out as, roaring, the Broker swung its shield back. A small smile crossed her lips as Grunt was flung aside, all four limbs spread like some sort of cartoon. "Long as I'm not starting to look like him."

"I'd love you anyway," Garrus chuckled for a moment before going silent.

Spinning, Miranda looked at him, her eyes wide.

"Um.." Garrus coughed into his fist. Then suddenly pulled his heavy bored sniper rifle to his shoulder and fired a shot over Miranda's shoulder. "We should..uh...get to the fight…"

Miranda allowed herself a grin as she watched her turian charge off into battle uncomfortably. "Oh, we will be talking about that later, mister!"

Liara

Liara's face twisted slightly in delight as she watched her warp rip into the Broker's side. Part of her knew she shouldn't find joy in the splash of blood that joined the slick deck. But she couldn't deny the satisfaction as she saw the monster being pushed back.

Stepping back, Liara found her eyes naturally being drawn to Shepard. As she watched the man she loved pull back his right hand and jump. Blue energy wrapped his fist as he lashed forward, twisting his entire body into the blow. With a sickening crunch, the Broker stumbled back, more blood, and now teeth splattered.

It wasn't enough. Liara felt the breath catch in her throat as one of the Broker's meaty fists smashed into Shepard's side, sending him in an arc through the air to crash into Garrus, the two falling in a tumble of limbs.

"John!" Liara's eyes snapped to Tali. The quarian ducked under a wave of energy released by the Broker's bizarre omni-tool. Tail twisted, another energy wave close enough to rip a section of her realk.

"I'm fine!" Shepard stumbled up, clutching to his Bondmate for a moment. "Hey sexy, come here often?"

"John!" Tali slapped him then pulled him back a step.

"Can you not get mushy over my corpse," Garrus groaned exaggeratedly as that Cerberus woman, Miranda, pulled him to his feet.

"Eh, you're fine," Tali sniffed and passed the turian his rifle. "Here, you dropped this."

"Thanks," he chuckled. Then looked over. "Hey Liara! Come on! We got big and ugly to kill!"

Liara blinked the tears out of her eyes and put on a grin. They grew so much beyond her. She didn't have a place there anymore. She had known it before, but seeing it hurt more than she expected. She couldn't let it show. Especially now.

Turning to the Broker, Liara brought up her Biotics. The blue storm began to swirl around her as she dug deep. She could almost feel the power blaze out of her eyes as a tornado formed. Rubble from the stone table and debris from the wrecked room lifted and whirled into the frenzied storm. The roar drowned out everything as she fought to keep control of her power. Then she let it go.

She threw it at the monster that hurt her friends. The people she loved. All her anger. All her regret. All her sorrow. It smashed into the broker like a hover truck. The warping energy washed over the Broker's massive frame, tatterting what was left of the well tailored suit and shaving away its flesh. It was pushed back as it covered its face with its arms covering its face. The power screamed itself out along with her voice.

Then it was over. As the last of her power fell away, she felt herself sway as darkness threatened to close around her.

"Good work, child," Samara's quiet voice came to her as she felt strong arms catch her. "Good work…."

John

"You have got to be shitting me," John threw up his hands in disbelief.

The fucker stood! The giant mother fucker stood! Sort of.

Blood oozed from the wounds covering its body as it heaved breaths. It leaned on a shattered bank of monitors, but John watched in disbelief as the Broker heaved its bulk back onto its feet.

"Huh, huh, huh," the Broker rumbled as it staggered forward. "Well done. You nearly won."

"Nearly my ass," Grunt snorted and wiped orange blood from his nose. "You ain't got anything left."

"Ah, such a useful tool you would have been," the Broker shook its head sadly as it stopped in the middle of the room. Its many eyes scanned the room before it grinned...if...that was a grin? It was hard to tell. "I'm afraid you squandered your only chance."

With those words systems blazed. Emitters in the ceiling that had been hidden poured orange energy down, encasing the Broker in a brilliant orange dome. Heart began radiating from the energy field, then a small ripple of orange lashed out as if it was biotic energy. Then a larger whip of energy ripped through the deck at John's feet.

"Now, I enjoyed our conflict. I will be sure to charge the Collectors extra for-"

His voice disappeared in a burst of brilliant, swirling white. Orange energy warred with the white before the energy emitters iced over, shattering. With a flash, the orange energy blew apart leaving only a icey white orb with a gloating Shadowbroker inside.

"Surprised that worked," a calm, analytic came from above as a certain salarian leaned his head out. "Not true. Knew that would work. Trying not to brag. Would be rude. But still, pleased you are all alive."

"Thanks, Mordin…."

Turian Lexicon

Larrach oil- Oil usually used from cooking. Processed from a native tree it also has impressive lubricating ability.

Quarian Lexicon

Realk: Cloth covering used by the quarians. It is used to describe not just the hood seen on most but any material adornment.